Well hello there fanfiction! It's been a while hasn't it? Not really, I've done worse *looks nervously at TMDK files* I'm getting there! I've been super busy with school, what with finishing up my last semester the counts for high school EVER and finding out my official class rank for the end of the year which is… drum roll please…. FIRST! I am this year's valedictorian for my school! Which is why I've been neglecting this story, getting that title was a little more important, sorry. Now on with the story!

I quoted Hairspray last chapter…no one got it though, but I'll admit it was pretty obscure.

Thanks to Egas Bladesoul and Igni Ferroque, for adding this story to favs/alerts!

I do not nor will I ever own Harry Potter, but maybe I'll own the Marauders? Nope, that's a lie…. Way to kill my hopes and dreams….

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Rule 14: I will not shave Mrs. Norris

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"Why so serious Moony?" James asked sitting down to breakfast at the Great Hall, his fellow fifth years joining him.

"Gee, I don't know," Remus replied, full of sarcasm. "Could it just be that this is my favorite time of the month?"

"Remus I know you're PFMS-ing, but there's no need to be rude," Sirius scolded, ignoring Remus's glare and digging into his eggs. "Besides, tonight's going to be better, I promise."

"Oh, no," Remus paled. "You three didn't do something stupid did you? Wait, why am I asking that, of course you did! But I'm not letting you come out there with me it's too dangerous! We've been through this a million times before!"

"Yea, we have," James rolled his eyes and cut of his friend before he picked up too much speed. "It's too dangerous for humans. But there aren't going to be any humans in the woods, now are there?" James and Sirius exchanged excited grins and Peter and Remus nervous ones.

"Right, no humans…."Remus's eyes grew wide and he started choking on his cereal. Sirius quickly patted him on the back before he died. "You didn't!" Remus hissed.

"I think it'd be best if we talked about this somewhere else…." James said looking around the Great Hall and seeing eyes being drawn to them. "This isn't something we want known."

"Oh c'mon," Sirius grinned as the exited the room. "How bad could Azkaban be? And I'd love to see Minnie's face when she realized that we…"

"That you'd what, Mr. Black?" A stern voice came from behind the shaggy haired boy. The four friends froze and turned around to see a very suspicious looking Transfiguration teacher. "What school rule have you broken this time? Wearing Death Eater robes to class? Insulting Hippogriffs? Teaching Peeves that new game….What is it….? Oh yes, Paintballing?"

"No, but thanks for the ideas, Professor," Sirius grinned at McGonagall's dumb struck face.

"We haven't broken any rules since the last time you saw us, Professor," Remus cut in before Sirius got them into trouble for something that they didn't even do….yet. "We just finished breakfast early and now we're on our way back to the common room."

"Very well," McGonagall said, skeptical. "But I've got my eyes on you…" She turned and re-entered the Great Hall. The Marauders ran from there as fast as they could to the first open classroom they could find and quickly closed and locked the door.

"Phew, That was a close one," Sirius sighed, collapsing in a nearby chair."I thought we were goners for sure that time."

"Well maybe if you could keep your big mouth closed you wouldn't be caught so much," Remus practically snarled. He always got a bit testy when it was his time of the month. "Now please tell me you three didn't do what I think you did."

The three other boys grinned back at the werewolf. James stepped forward and did a little bow.

"It is my pleasure to present the Mssrs. Padfoot," At this point Sirius changed into a giant black dog. "Wormtail," Peter turned into a rat. "And Prongs." With one final flourish, James turned into a gigantic stag and turned to face Moony.

"I think you're lucky you three weren't caught, killed, or worse," Remus said. His face was very pale and he had to sit down as his knees were about to give out any second. The three turned back to their human forms. "What were you thinking? That was very dangerous, illegal magic! And for what? To run around the woods with a werewolf for one night a month? Sorry mates, but I'm not worth it. Sirius, you could go to Azkaban! James, you could've been killed. And Peter, you could've been stuck as a rat for 12 years!"

"No, Remus I'm sorry," James said, his face completely serious for once. "I'm sorry that you don't realize that it was worth it, that you're worth it. You're a great friend, and we don't care if you're a werewolf, a wizard, or a sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania."

"What?" Remus, Sirius, and Peter exclaimed.

"Lily made me watch this awesome movie, but that's not the point. The point is: We're coming tonight and that's final. We've been working on this ever since we found out your secret the beginning of second year. We finally got it right and we're gonna help you whatever way that we can. Now you can either accept the help or have it forced upon you, but you're getting it either way." They had a staring contest, and after about ten minutes, Remus cracked.

"Fine! Fine! Do what you want! I'm not your mums! What are you going to do about Filch though? You know he runs extra tight security during Full Moons to make sure no accidents happen." Remus looked smug, knowing he had them.

"Oh, we've already taken care of that," Sirius lazily put in. "Filch has a hot date with Madam Pince tonight, gag, and he's leaving the watch to Mrs. Norris. And I called in a favor with Peeves, I love that poltergeist!, and he's got a little surprise waiting for the kitty…."

Remus gulped when he saw the devious grins on his friends' faces. This was going to be one hell of a night.

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"You look so lovely tonight my dear," Filch whispered into the ear of Irma Pince as he pulled out her chair. He was looking splendid tonight in her mauve dress complete with large pink flowers all over the long skirt. Filch was wearing his very best hideous brown mold covered suit. It was repulsing, but not as repulsing as the giggle that the librarian emitted.

"Why, Argus, this is so romantic…" She batted her eyes at him. They soon were well on their way to an evening full of so-so food, luke-warm conversation, and terrible sex. That is for normal people. For them it was a five star dinner, animated banter, and sex out of their wildest fantasies. Hey, desperate people deserve each other, right?

The next morning, Filch was getting out of bed to get his morning tea when he found something attached to his door. His scream of horror soon awoke the entire castle and soon three boys were in the very familiar office of a very familiar teacher.

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"Never, in all my years have I seen such a display of animal cruelty," McGonagall exclaimed from behind her desk to the three asleep on their feet boys. "Why would you ever think of doing such a thing to a living creature?"

"Well, Mrs. Norris doesn't exactly count now does she?" James asked. "I mean, she's definitely not a normal cat and…"

"Besides," Sirius butted in, his sleep deprivation making him the clear headed one for once. "We were asleep in our dorm all night. We know better than to roam around the grounds on the night of the full moon. He's one of our best friends after all. Now if you don't mind, we'd like to visit him and make sure he's ok."

"Yes, very well," McGonagall reluctantly admitted.

"Out of curiosity, Professor," Peter asked. "Wait did happen to Mrs. Norris?"

"Well, Mr. Filch found her duck taped to his door, shaved completely bald, with a note saying that the mice could play now that the cat's away. No idea what it means, but I doubt Mrs. Norris will be up for patrol for a very long time."

"What a shame," James smiled. His mind was whirling away with ideas for all of the pranks and full moon escapades they could pull off with their new found transforming abilities and the absence of a certain feline. The mice were going to play indeed.

~~~BB~~~

What do you think? Sorry, again for the late update, I've been super busy. I might be able to update tomorrow though!

Who can guess the musical? It's a really obvious one!

Next time I will not tye-dye all of the owls.

~Becca