Once again, thank you all for the reviews :D they make my day! :D
Sighs happily…bet you're all excited to see what happens between Edward and Bella now that you know how Bella feels!
By the way… This is a LONG Chappie :D I APOLOGIZE for all the Grammatical and Typo Errors… I hope there aren't any… my eyes are tricky and I don't spot them at once.
Here goes…
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Chapter 14: I'll Be Home For Christmas
Edward's POV
"Woah."
Bella stopped midway into her bedroom, taking notice for the first time all of the presents she had gotten for her 18th birthday. I smirked behind her. "Surprised?"
She let out a breath. "You think? I can't believe how many there are."
Bella was finally released from the hospital today and we couldn't feel more relieved. I was glad to finally get out of that place… with Bella of course. The timing couldn't have been better! It was finally December twenty-four. Our Christmas Eve!
Chuckling, I set down the bags at the foot of her bed and her guitar at its usual spot, feeling as chipper as ever. I had asked Mom to bring Bella's guitar to the hospital days before. I still remember the look on Bella's face when my Mom brought it in and she didn't hesitate to pull it out of its case and start strumming some familiar tunes. I didn't even realize how much I missed Bella's playing. Listening to it felt like being on clouds. But that was the night after I punched Tyler in the face. Bella and I decided it was best to mention it. Tyler's parents did come over that day and I was grateful that Tyler said that the bruise on his face came from a baseball accident. He is a good guy after all.
"Well, the entire town did miss you a lot." Charlie came up behind us, a huge smile on his face. "Got everything you need, Bells? Medication? Phone? Or food if you're hungry for something?" Ever since Bella woke up, Charlie has been constantly been there for her, making sure that she's well rested and healthy. It seems like the tables has turned for these two for a while.
"I'm fine, Dad, thank you." She smiled. "And you don't need to constantly ask me those questions every thirty minutes. Even I wasn't that persistent."
Charlie chuckled. "Well, just wanted to make sure that my little girl is more than fine." Bella looked touched and hugged her father. "I'm more than fine, Dad. Besides, Edward is here to answer to all of my royal orders. Isn't that right, my right-hand man?" she smirked at me.
I gave a formal bow. "Always at your service, my lady."
"See." Bella chuckled and turned to Charlie once again. "Go to Edward's house and watch the game with everyone else, Dad. I'm sure you're dying to kick on some beer and barbeque wings with the 52 inch television set."
I held up a finger. "Uh, it's actually 56 inches."
Charlie shrugged. "Well if the both of you put it that way, I guess I have no choice."
He didn't need to be convinced twice.
Once Charlie left, Bella and I were left alone in the house. I sat on the edge of her bed.
"So…where do you want to start?"
She gave me an excited smile but instead of reaching for the nearest present like I expected she strutted over toward me. My eyes widened. I yelped in surprise as Bella tackled me on the mattress, laughing as she did so. I couldn't even begin to say how wonderful that felt but Bella rolled to the side next to me and buried her face in the pillows. "I miss my bed!"
My spirits lowered by an inch. "And tackling me was because…?"
"It's fun." She simply shrugged. Then my spirits came back.
Bella's strength was coming back fast. Since she woke up, she's been getting healthier by each passing day. Sure her clumsy side was back but I knew that it would die out soon. Her test results all came out clean but she's still slightly prone to quick fevers and pneumonia so we'll have to watch out for it.
"By the way, do you know where Renee and Phil are at?" she asked.
Renee and Phil had arrived several days ago as well. They decided to spend their holidays here rather than New York.
"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. Renee's along with all the other mother's at my house. They're getting ready for the Christmas Eve Party tonight and Phil is watching the game-…"
"Along with all the other father's at your house." she continued for me. "Yup! And our friends are helping with the decorations. Alice and Rose will come over later to help you with your Christmas 'outfit' tonight."
Our crazy friends on the other hand, who are now two couples, had decided that it would just be best to tell Bella about their new found relationships. Bella of course was ecstatic, saying that it was about time. They'd been visiting in the hospital every single day. Coming early in the morning and leaving late at night. So Bella and I are pretty much filled in on everything that's been going on with their lives.
She laughed. "Ah, just like the old time Christmas'." Then she frowned. "Only I couldn't make my smores this year."
"No need to feel down. Everyone understands. You can make up for it next year. Make something extra special if you want."
"Yeah, I guess I could do that." She smiled once again into her pillow and sighed.
"Are you tired, Bells?"
She shook her head. "The bed just feels really nice that's all."
I moved my body sideways, facing her. "You know you need to take a long nap today."
She groaned. "Ooh… what am I? Seven?"
I chuckled, "At this current state you need all the rest you can get remember?"
"But I really want to help with the decorations at your house." She whined.
"Bella, for the hundredth time, you need your rest."
"Can I at least open my presents before I take a nap?"
I chuckled again at how childish it sounded. "Of course you can." I answered back like a grown up. She playfully hit me in the arm "Oh don't go all grown up on me."
Bella climbed down the bed and I watched her open her presents like I was watching one of my favorite movies.
The ones she had opened first were from our friends at school. An assortment of clothes, shoes, books and girly things came out of it. But what really made us laugh out loud was Erik Yorkie's toy pig present which we assumed was probably a three year old's toy. It oinked and walked every time you pressed on the snout.
"Now I won't ask why Erik was voted class clown." I laughed, holding the little squeaking toy in my hands.
"Yeah, tell me about it. That was really sweet." Bella sniggered.
Tyler's gift was a small decorated box which we assumed came from Hallmark. Bella seemed to think it was cute.
From our family friends, Bella got a reader's and traveler's journal, a brand new art set, a $100 Borders gift card, a tiffany&co silver jewelry set, a leather bound copy of Jane Austen's works, a nice blue coat and a white summer dress with matching sandals, which I could not wait to see her wear one day.
Bella tried on the blue coat and looked at herself in the mirror. It hugged her curves perfectly. "What do you think?"
No one else can wear it better than you. "It looks really good, Bells! High five to Alice's mom."
She chuckled. "Yeah. Now we know where Alice gets her talents."
"Can I see you wear the dress?" I asked, trying my puppy dog eyes.
"Ehe, uh, not now." Worth a shot eh?
She was overwhelmed when she found the telescope that my parents got for her. She found it at the discovery store last year but backed out of buying it after she saw the tag price. I made a mental note to keep an eye on it and get it for her one day, but my parents beat me to it. Charlie and Renee are getting Bella a new car for her birthday and Christmas but they won't get it until after the holidays.
"I can't believe they got me the telescope!" she exclaimed, pulling it out of the box. I smiled at her enthusiasm and laughed when she pouted at the fact that it was at least an hour of work to set it up. "It's rare to see the stars in winter. So you don't need to set it up right away."
She scratched her head. "Yeah I guess so."
Moving on to the last few presents, Emmet had given her a Seattle Seahawks Jersey and Jacket which we laughed about a little bit. Emmet has always been known to give sports apparel's as gifts. Most of Bella and mine's jersey's came as a gift from him.
Jasper gave Bella three cookbooks that made her smile. Rosalie gave a nice picture frame of the three of them girls which almost brought her to tears and a strawberry scented bath set that she loved.
Bella gave a deep breath and stretched her back.
"That was a lot of fun." I said.
"Indeed." She smiled and looked at the last box. "I think I know what that is."
I rolled over on my back. "Well, I'm pretty sure it has something to do with Bella Barbie."
"Oh yeah! We know Alice too well." I heard her tearing the wrapper of the present and the sound of a box opening. "Yup! We know Alice 'too' well."
I stretched my head up and looked at her upside down. "Anything you can show me?"
She sorted through the box. Just how many clothes did Alice get? "Gosh, I can't believe Alice got this many stuff! I know I didn't give her a budget but she wasn't playing fair!" she said. I gave her an amused look. "That's almost like a present for Alice as well. You know how much she loves dressing you up like a doll."
She smiled at me. "I guess you're right."
Bella pulled out a white jacket and wore it in front of me. Beautiful as always. "This would be nice to wear in the summer… along with this hat!" she pulled the hat out of the box and I smiled widely at how lovely she just looked.
"I feel like I'm cosplaying." She laughed and pulled a sophisticated face. "Monsieur, escort me to my humble abode."
I laughed at her silliness and rolled back onto my stomach. "Very funny, Bella. But I have to say that that line didn't really suite you."
She threw her hat at me. "I'll take that as a compliment!" Then she sat on the bed, looking at me in the eye.
"What?" I asked her, even though I already knew what she was going to ask. I just wanted to hear it straight out of her mouth.
"Oh well, it's nothing really." She faked obliviousness. "I'd feel guilty for saying this if I was just some random person who doesn't know you very well but… you 'always' get me a present."
My smile reached my eyes.
"… even if it's not my birthday, Edward." She continued in her 'as a matter of fact' way.
"I'll give it to you… after you've had your nap." I smiled deviously as her mouth went agape.
"You Mr. Cullen are one sly negotiator."
"And proud of it, Ms. Swan." I wrapped my arms around her waist and dunked her down to her side of the bed where she landed with a small 'Oof'. She crossed her arms in the bed. "Fine, I'll just pretend to be asleep and wake up an hour later."
"The party is at eight o'clock and it's three-thirty right now. I expect you to be awake by six, no more, no less." I said, using my doctor-voice. Maybe because it was just too much fun to tease her.
She made a frustrated grunt. "Whatever, Ed." I chuckled at her. "Good girl."
"I'll be back with your present alright?" I said, swinging my legs out of bed. "Call me if you have trouble."
"Edward, I'm about to fall asleep. What trouble could there be?" she smirked.
I rolled my eyes playfully. "Just call me okay?" I replied. You can never be too sure about anything. And with that, I closed the door to her room and drove straight to my house. I had to park outside however, since my usual parking spot was taken by Emmet's big truck.
I walked in to hear loud cheers of excitement in our TV room. I shook my head. The game must be going well.
"Edward! You're here!" Alice waltzed next to me, carrying a few Christmas ornaments in a box. "How's Bella!?"
"Hello to you too, Alice. Bella's back in her room, 'not' sleeping, I'll give you that."
Alice chuckled. "Oh, poor Bella. Did you open the presents already!?" she asked with a sparkle in her eyes.
I smiled. "Yes, Alice. We did. Just how many clothes did you get her?"
"I gave her a full wardrobe for every season! She didn't warn me about keeping a low budget on her present so I took my chance! Oh, I just can't wait to see Bella try them all on!" she swooned and left for the Christmas tree in the living room. She's probably daydreaming right now.
I entered the kitchen to find everyone busy with their cooking. My Mom, Renee, Mrs. Hale, Mrs. McCarty and of course my Aunt Elizabeth. Our other guests would be arriving a little later, I presumed.
"Hello, everyone! Happy Christmas Eve!" I greeted, all them looked up from what they were doing and greeted me the all the same.
"Happy Christmas Eve!"
My Mom came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "How are you Edward and where's Bella?"
"She's dozing off in her room." I grinned.
"Does she need anything, Edward?" asked Renee as she looked up from her cake batter.
Shaking my head, I answered. "Nope. She's fine. She asked about a million times if she could go and help with the decorations here but I stood my ground."
Renee chuckled. "Well, I'm impressed!"
"Aren't you going to give your favorite Aunt a kiss?" Chuckling, I looked behind me and hugged my Aunt Elizabeth. Well, she wasn't really my Aunt. She's my father's cousin who's like a sister to him. They could actually pass on as twins. "It's good to see you Aunt Izzie! You are my 'only and favorite' Aunt of course! Sorry I wasn't able to pick you up from the airport."
"Oh no worries, boy." She stood back to look at me. My Mom smiled. "Well I'll leave you two to catch up! The roast beef needs a little more work." Then she waltzed back up to the counter.
"God! What have you been eating? You've lost a chunk of weight." My aunt exclaimed.
"No worries. I'm back to eating like a pig again. But you look absolutely divine this year!" I said, giving her hand a little kiss.
My Aunt Izzie has always been a child at heart. She's actually the one who taught me how to become a charming gentleman and to think that I was only seven at that time. I still remember the look on my mother's face when I quoted to her the words of Shakespeare while offering her a rose that I picked out from the garden.
She laughed. "Ohoho! Glad to see that you're still using your special Cullen charms. Where's Isabella? I haven't seen her since last Christmas. Is she well back on her feet now?"
"Yes she is!" I smiled brightly. "She'll be here before the party starts. She just has to rest before then."
A gleam flashed in her eyes. "So, are the two of you together yet?!"
Oh not again!
"No, Aunt Izzie." I groaned.
"Well you better tell her soon, boy! Before someone else snatches her up. You know how much I fantasize about the future marriage of my only nephew!"
"Woah, slow down Aunt Izzie." I chuckled. "I know. But… just not now. She's got a lot going on in her mind."
She sighed. "Alright then. But you better take your chances and do it soon or I'm going to whoop your arse."
……………
"Aren't you both supposed to help with the decorations?" Opening the door to my room and finding my friends playing with my Xbox was no big surprise.
"Were you ever going to tell us that your room has been magically transformed?" Emmet crossed his arms.
"Yeah! What's up with that? Oh! I WIN!! Cough it up, Em!" Jasper raised his fist in the air in triumph leaving Emmet to wallow.
"Uh… maybe it's because I knew that this would happen? And are you guys betting again? Haven't you had enough of the red nail polish game?"
Emmet glared at me. "A man needs his revenge, Ed." Ironic, since he's pulling out some cash and giving it to Jasper.
I raised my hands in defeat. "Okay, man."
"Where's Bells? Is she here? And is this for her?" asked Jasper, holding up a nicely wrapped box from my table.
"Yes, that's hers… be careful with it! Don't shake it up and down like that!" I sauntered over to him and took the gift in my hands. "And no, she's not here. She's back at her house sleeping… I hope."
Emmet came up behind me. "It's awfully heavy. What is it?"
"I'm not telling you guys…" I replied, walking out to the door.
"Come on! She's opening it soon anyway."
"Alright!"
"Really?"
I quirked my brow. "No. Enjoy my Xbox while you still can." I gave them one last smile before closing the door and walking down two flights of stairs.
Catching a flash of blonde hair, I gave a mischievous grin. "Rose! Your boyfriend and cousin are playing pin the tail on the donkey in my room."
Her arms crossed. "More like pin the tail on the bear! Thank you, Edward." She replied before skipping up the stairs uttering something that sounded like 'boys and stupid toys'. I slightly resented that.
I kept Bella's present safely in the passenger seat as I drove up back toward her house. I could've walked but I didn't want to risk dropping the present or letting Bella catch a cold. It would be snowing around seven tonight.
I was very confident with my present. I bought it from an old store I found in Port Angeles long before Bella's birthday. After taking one look from the store window, I knew I just had to get it.
No sounds were heard as I headed up to Bella's room so I made sure to creep inside quietly.
Sure enough, she was asleep on her side as I opened the door. I smirked. I knew she couldn't resist taking a nap at this time. The room was still a little cluttered from the many wrappers and boxes from Bella's presents. I wanted to clean it but I didn't want to wake Bella up from the noise I might make. She was a very light sleeper.
Deciding to just clean up later, I neared to the bed and placed her present beside her sleeping body. Strands of her hair were covering her face and I brushed them back softly as if acting on impulse. She stirred a little bit which made me stop but she fell right back with a sigh.
She looks like an angel. Watching her sleep has always been a dear time for me.
I took the blanket from the foot of the bed and gently draped it around her form before I lay down on my side of the bed. I leaned up on my elbow and watched her breath in and out.
The urge to let her know how I love her was so strong it was almost suffocating me. I want so badly to kiss her lips whenever I stare at them in her sleep. I never did it because it felt like I was taking advantage of her, but every single time… I just wanted to know what it felt like to press mine against hers.
Does she ever think about kissing me I wonder?
Shaking my head, I knew that I was wishful thinking. But is it possible?
My hand reached for her cheek and I traced her soft skin through my fingers. Again, she leaned in to my touch. "Edward…" she whispers.
My body went still and my heart beat increased. I closed my eyes to take in the strong emotions that engulfed me.
I love her so much, it hurts.
Taking a deep breath, I stared at her with loving eyes. "Bella."
"Mmm…" she answered, which puzzled me. Is she awake? Her eyes were closed and her breathing looked even. "Are you awake?" I whispered even lighter than before.
No answer.
With a courage that suddenly overwhelmed me, I decided to take a chance.
I neared my face to hers until our foreheads touched and my hand came up to gently caress her cheek. "Bella" I breathed, my heart racing even faster than before.
"I love you, Bella."
…
I waited.
For something.
Anything.
But she didn't even move.
"Mmm…" that was it. That was the only sound she made. A tiny moan in her sleep, and I wouldn't know the meaning of it.
Closing my eyes in disappointment, I retreated and laid my head back down on the pillow.
Will it ever happen for us?
With that distraught question in my mind, I drifted of to sleep
…
…
"love you, Edward…"
……………
Bella's POV
I woke up in surprise to find Edward's head so close to mine. My heart beat increased wildly. Just a couple of inches and our lips could be pressed together. I gasped.
Feeling skittish, I backed away and looked down to find my blanket draped around me and… a box lying between us. It was dark but I could see that it was beautifully wrapped in my favorite combination of blue and purple with a white ribbon on top.
My present.
Biting my lip in excitement, I sat up and crossed my legs. Edward certainly knows how to keep his end of the bargain.
Just as I was about to shake him awake, I noticed the troubled look in his sleeping face. My face fell. Is something wrong? I don't like seeing him like this. Leaning down to my elbows, I smoothed away the furrow of his brow. He stirred and opened his eyes.
"Hey."
He gave me a small smile. "Hey."
"Are you okay?" I asked. He rubbed at his eyes and leaned up on his elbows. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"
I shrugged. "You looked a little troubled in your sleep there. Is something bothering you?"
He shook his head quickly and sat up on the headboard. "No, no. Everything's fine. Did you sleep well?"
I nodded but I could still sense that something was bothering him. I made a point to ask him about it later on. Once he looked at the present in my hands, he smiled.
"Well," he made himself more comfortable. "Are you going to open it or what?"
Chuckling, I sat up on the headboard next to him and took it in my lap, surprised at how heavy it was. "Wow, this is… light." I said sarcastically, pulling on the white ribbon on top. "What is it?" I asked, looking at him excitedly.
He chuckled. "Will you just open it?"
"But it's so beautifully wrapped! I don't think I want to." I teased him.
He rolled his eyes. "Bella, if you're not opening it, I am."
Sensing that he really wanted me to open it, I just gave him a sweet smile and started tearing on the wrapper. A blank white box appeared underneath and I had to take the tape out before opening the top. I was smiling the whole time. I was always excited for Edward's present on my birthday. His gift has always been the highlight of my day. They always mean a lot to me and every single year, he never fails to catch me by surprise.
This year was no different…
Opening the box on top, I saw that it was filled with shredded colorful paper. For the protection of something fragile, I guess.
I looked at him one more time before digging my hand in and pulling out something that felt like pointy plaster and… glass. It was no lightweight.
Once I saw the head of my present, my eyes widened and I gave a large gasp! Pulling it out the whole way, I held it in my hands, feeling so speechless. My whole body flooded with so many emotions at once, I thought I could burst from it all.
A Winnie the Pooh snow globe.
It was around fourteen inches tall. Clearly an antique. The globe was shaped in an 8-form. On the top globe, Pooh was flying on a balloon, and at the bottom was Christopher Robin holding an umbrella. A large tree and Pooh's friends surrounded it. I couldn't even say anything. It was so beautiful.
Is this because of…
"Look at the side of the tree." Edward said softly. I stared at him first. He had the handsomest smile on his face and I could hear my heart pounding in my chest.
Letting out a breath, I turned the snow globe to the side and saw the engraving on the tree that made my heart skip a beat.
"If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day,
So I never have to live without you."
~E & B~
"Do you remember that summer when you told me that quote?" he said next to me. I nodded silently, still not taking my eyes off it. "You remember…" I said silently.
"Of course."
The engraving was a quotation from the Winnie the Pooh cartoon. A few summers ago, I had the greatest pleasure of quoting him these lines but… his reply was the one that struck me the most.
I pursed my lips. "And you said… that we'd just have to die together… because-…"
"There is no way I would ever live a day without you." He continued for me and my heart fluttered in a thousand spasms.
At that moment, I fell even more in love with him.
Oh, God… I love him so much, it hurts.
Tears started falling down my eyes. Can I ever tell him how I truly feel? Will he ever love me the same way that I love him? If I tell him, will he run away and never come back?
No. I can't lose Edward. Not him…
"Bella? Do you like it?" his voice suddenly nervous. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I looked at him incredulously.
He groaned. "You're crying-…" without letting him say another word, I hugged him in my arms, leaving the snow globe to rest on our laps. "They're tears of happiness you dope." I chuckled and said sincerely. "I love it, Edward. Thank you. It's the best present in the world."
I felt him hug me back and sigh. "Your welcome, Bells."
I smiled in his shoulder. "How do you always know what to get me?"
He chuckled. "Because I know you too well, that's why."
I sniffed as more tears fell and I wiped them away on his shirt. How could I ever tell him?
"Bells, you know I hate it when you cry." He held me tighter. Then stop being so damn perfect already!
I nodded. "I know." I know that I don't deserve you…And that thought was enough to make my heart drop.
Pulling back, I looked into his green eyes and saw an emotion that I couldn't fully understand.
Our heads were so close that I could feel the air coming out of his mouth as he breathed. For almost a split second I glanced down to his lips and tensed up. We were so close. I licked my lips involuntarily and I heard his breath hitch. He seemed closer now than ever before. We were still staring at each other, an unexplained emotion in his eyes.
What is that, Edward?
His warm breath. I could already feel it on my lips. The desire to move forward was so strong. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.
Just one kiss…
If I can't tell him how I feel, maybe I can show him…
With an ounce of courage, I leaned in…
"RISE AND SHINE, SLEEPING BEAUTY!"
BAM!!
"Oh…"
Oh God…
……………
Edward's POV
Fuuuck…
My head hit the headboard with so much force that I stifled a groan that threatened to escape me. But the groan wasn't because of the pain at the back of my head. It was because of the worst possible timing of that CURSED Pixie!
The lights went on. "Oh…Edward! Right, sorry! I forgot you were here. Are you alright? Did you hit your head?"
She didn't see.
I couldn't speak. I was too much in shock! Were Bella and I just about to…?
"Hi, Alice! Yeah, you kind of startled us. Whatsup?" Bella perked up next to me. Her voice was surprisingly normal. I only realized now that I was gripping the sheets of the mattress.
Alice tapped on her watch. "We have an hour and forty-five minutes before the party starts! We need to get ready! You, Edward can now go back to your house! Rose and I will take care of Bella from here." I felt my arms being pulled and I was dragged out of the bed. It took me a few seconds to shake my head out of the clouds.
"B-but, I have to drive Bella to the party."
Rosalie appeared on the door. "No worries, I brought my car so you can go ahead. Esme needs you to pick up some stuff." She said, tossing me my keys… which I didn't catch. Rose raised her brow. "You okay there, Eddie?"
I was hearing things on the background. Paper bags opening and Alice's quirky voice. "Oh, Bella! You're going to love these outfits!!!"
I bent down quickly to pick it up. "Yeah! I'm okay. Are you sure… uhm, Bella…"
"It's okay, Edward. I'll meet you at the party." Bella said. I turned to look at her. She smiled at me, holding the snow globe in her hands… as if nothing ever happened.
My heart sank to the pits of hell.
Nothing did happen. We… we were just too close. I thought we were…about to…
"Go on, I'll be okay." She chuckled and I snapped out of my thoughts.
I nodded without a word.
"Don't be Mr. Worry Worrisome, Edward. Now get out of here! We need to get ready." Alice pushed me out to the door and I almost stumbled down. "Uhm, okay." That was all I said before heading out the door… the house… and to my car.
I gripped on the wheel to let out the tension of my body. Damn it! Just damn it all! Why are things getting more and more frustrating for me!
What the heck was that back there? I'm certain that we stayed in that spot for more than five seconds just staring at each other! We were so close. Just a tiny inch forward and we could have been… could have been… I shook my head.
But it wasn't what I thought it was. It meant nothing. She felt nothing.
Groaning in pain and utter distress, I punched the interior of my car before driving away, silently cursing myself for something I should have or should not have done.
…
15yearsold15yearsold15yearsold…
"It gets better and better every year doesn't it?" Bella told me as we crossed the crowds of the Winter Fair in Port Angeles. My Mom had a business meeting here tonight so I asked if we could hitch a ride so we could see the fair.
Emmet and Jasper disappeared somewhere in the crowd, probably looking for free food on the stands. Rosalie and Alice on the other hand were right behind us.
"Yeah." I smiled at her. She looked really pretty today in her white winter coat. Bella smiled as she looked all around, her cheeks turning pink from the cold falling snow. I was beaming inside at the fact that we were hooked by the arm. From another person's point of view, it probably look liked like we were on a date!
It felt nice to walk around. Christmas lights were above us, music was everywhere and the smell of all kinds of holiday treats and dishes were being sold and served.
"Edward! Bella!" Alice called from behind. "Rose and I are going to skate at the rink! Wanna come?"
Bella chuckled at the idea. "Are you forgetting who you're talking to here? I have sticks instead of feet when I walk out on ice."
"Don't mean to be rude but, it's true." I shrugged.
"Thank you, Ed."
This is great! If they leave, Bella and I can be alone together!
"Oh well then! I guess you two should just keep walking around and stuff. Uhm, let's all just connect by phone?" Said Rosalie. She shot me a look and smirked. When I realized what it meant, I grinned secretly.
They had planned this.
God, thank you for sneaky friends!
"Okay! We'll see you guys later." I said enthusiastically before turning around and pulling Bella with me.
"Hey. What's the rush?" she chuckled as she kept up to my footing.
"Uh…I… I can smell the… the uh, figgy pudding over there!" I pointed to the nearest cake stand I found. "Wanna try some?" I asked her.
"I guess it's about time for a tummy calling. Sure! Smells delicious!" Bella and I walked around from stand to stand, milling over the holiday treats and the things they had on display. We shared food on almost every stand on the street and groaned as our stomachs became full.
Now it really did look like we were on a date!
I was just ordering two cups of cocoa when I found Bella wondering on a stand filled with crystals of all shapes and sizes. She was smiling as she tried on a bracelet and set it back down as she talked to the old man behind the stand.
"Yo Edward! Your order here." I turned around surprised to see Chris Baker handing me two hot cups of hot cocoa.
"Chris!? What are you doing here?" I handed him the three dollars and set down the cups on the counter.
He extended his hands. "What's it look like I'm doing? I'm selling hot cocoa and churros to the people of Washington."
"But… didn't I just order from an old lady here?"
"Hey! My grandma isn't an old lady! She's the healthiest eighty year old woman I've ever seen."
My eyes widened. "Wow. Go Grandma Baker."
"Damn right!" He glanced behind me. I followed his gaze and saw that he was eyeing Bella on the opposite stand.
"Whoa! Are you on a date with Bella Swan?" his expression turning amused.
I blushed. "Chris, I told you. We're just friends."
"Yeah, yeah, alright." I doubt that he listens to the fact that we're just friends. Even though I want it to be more than that.
"Hmm… just a little info…" he smirked. "Take her to the dance floor in the center of the fair. Chicks dig dancing under the snow at night. Look all around you! It's the perfect time and place! Ask her to dance." I stared at him. "You- you think?"
"Go for it!"
I left Chris's stand with a little nervous pit in my stomach as I made my way to Bella. Her eyes sparkled and a light bulb lit up on my mind. "See anything you like, Bells?"
She smiled at me before taking the hot cup from my hand. "I was just browsing, Ed. Thanks."
I stared at the old man behind the stand and he had a smile that reached his eyes. "Care to buy something for this lovely lady, sir?"
A smirk appeared on my face. He's speaking my language. I was scanning through the crystal accessories down at the table until one of them quickly caught my attention.
"Oh no. We were just browsing around-…"
"I'll take this one!" I smiled up to the old man and pointed to the one I wanted. Bella blinked at me. "Huh? You don't have to."
I handed the old man a ten dollar bill and took the crystal hairclip in my hands."Can't return it now. I already bought it." I held the clip up in my hands so she could see.
With the look in her eyes as she stared at it, I knew that she liked it. I set down my cup for a moment on the table and reached to put her jacket hood down. With ease, I slipped the clip on the right side of her hair to keep the bangs away from her eyes. Once I stepped back, I gave her a big smile. She looks even more beautiful now. "There."
It was a snowflake crystal. Perfect for this time of year!
She stared at me the whole time but I couldn't make out the look in her face. Her hand reached up to touch the clip in her hair before she looked right back up at me.
Her eyes softened and she gave me the sweetest smile I've ever seen. I felt the strong fluttering feeling coming back. "Thanks, Edward."
We walked arm to arm once again and soon enough, I led her to the center of the fair. There was a stage with people performing Christmas songs. A few tables surrounded the place and couples slow danced under the snow. Chris was right. Everything here seemed to scream 'Winter Romance'. I glanced at Bella and noticed how her eyes brightened as she saw the stage. We came to a stop in front of it.
"Wow! It's all so beautiful."
I nodded in agreement. Okay, this is it Cullen! Ask her to dance. Just a simple sentence.
…
Just one simple sentence, come on!
I fidgeted in my spot trying to open my mouth but I was so nervous. "Uuh…" Oh good job!
"What?" Bella asked. "Uuh… would you uh…" oh crap! Just spit it out!
"Would, would I what?" she asked.
Come on, come on! Just say it already! "Would you uh… Would you like me to throw this for you?!" I said quickly, taking the almost empty cup from her hands. Drats! I choked! I can't believe I choked!
She gave me a confused look. "O-Oh… sure thanks." Her voice dropped. I sprinted to the nearest trashcan, which was all around the stage and kicked a block of ice. WHY!? Why didn't I ask her? God!
I was silently beating myself on the inside as I walked back around the stage to Bella but my spirits dropped all the way when I saw her talking to someone. That's… Laurent Ravenwood. He just transferred to our school in the middle of the semester from London. They turned to me as soon as they heard me coming.
"Hello, Edward." He smiled.
"Hey, Laurent. What- what are you doing here?"
He glanced at Bella. "I hope you don't mind but I just asked Bella to dance." My body tensed up. "But she insisted on waiting for you." Bella looked at me nervously. "Is… is it okay, Ed? Do you mind?"
I shook my head quickly, trying to muster up the cheeriest voice possible. "No, not at all. You guys go ahead. Uhm, give me a call Bella." And without another word, I turned away feeling like I'd just lost my puppy. I should've asked her…
I didn't really leave the stage. I stood beside a food stand pretending to mind my own business as I spied on them. They danced to the music of "The Christmas Song" as I wallowed in my own misery wishing that I was the one who had my arms against Bella on the dance floor.
I noticed Laurent saying something to Bella and she looked down with a big smile in her face. She's enjoying this! She's actually blushing right now. It made me feel even more miserable.
As the song was nearing an end, I felt a little more relieved since they'd stop dancing soon but what I saw next scarred my heart forever.
Laurent leaned in for a kiss and that was it.
Bella's first kiss.
It tore me apart. I wanted to be her first kiss. I wanted to be her first 'everything'.
My head dropped and I clutched at my chest.
I should've asked her to dance…
…
PresentPresentPresent…
"Jazz, I think something's up with him."
"And you're just registering the fact? He's been staring into space ever since he arrived."
"Hey Eeeed!... nope nothing still."
"I can just imagine a black hole in the background behind him. Well, there's probably only one reason why he's like this."
"What?"
"Duh! Something must have happened with Bella."
Bella…Bella…Bella…
I burrowed my head in my arms in the kitchen table. "Hey he moved!"
"Shut up, Emmet." I groaned. "Come on, man. Did something happen? You look like you just lost your puppy."
"Thanks for noticing, Jazz." Then I felt two arms circle around mine, pulling me out of the table. "Hey! What are you guys doing!?" They dragged me up the stairs. "Only twenty minutes until the party starts and you're not even dressed yet. As Alice's boyfriend, I am complied to do this."
I blinked. "What? Twenty minutes? Didn't I just get here from the grocery store?" comply
"No, dude. That was about an hour ago."
"Okay okay, let go of me! I can manage at this point." I rushed inside my room and into my bathroom, changing into the clothes for tonight. Once I stepped out of my bathroom, fully dressed, there sat Emmet and Jasper waiting for me to say something.
I threw my hands in the air. "Nothing happened for God's sake." Nothing damn happened!
"With you acting like that, I'm pretty sure that something did happen." Said Emmet.
"Oh come on, guys. What are we? Girls? Kissing and telling…" Their eyes widened and it was then that I noticed my slip. "YOU KISSED BELLA???" They both yelled at the same time. Oh shit!
"NO! It's not what you think! Oh crap! Keep your voices down will you. There's a deaf grandmother next door who I'm sure didn't hear you very much!" I sighed. "We… we didn't kiss."
"Then what 'did' happen?" urged Jasper.
I unbuttoned my collar. "I… I just thought we were about to- Oh damn… we were 'this' close." I exasperated, bringing half an inch between my thumb and index finger.
"Why in the world were you guys 'this' close together?" Emmet air quoted.
"Okay fine! I gave her the birthday present and we had just woken up by then. When she opened it, she cried a little bit and I thought she didn't like it but then she hugged me and said that it was the best present in the world," I breathed, "and then I felt really good cause she liked the present and I put a lot of thought into it, I mean I even engraved it with the Pooh quotation and our initials! When we pulled away, our heads were so close and… and we were just staring each other! I mean, seriously it was like a staring game for more than five seconds and for the love of everything that's holy, we were so close, I even felt her breath on me!!! I was about to lean in until 'your' girlfriend," I pointed at Jasper, "came in and ruined the moment." I took a deep breath. "And now I have a bump in my head…"
Feeling emotionally deprived, I scrambled to the swivel chair in front of my computer and laid my head back.
"Hold it, Edward, are you telling us that you and Bella actually had 'a moment'?" asked Jasper. I rubbed my forehead. "It seems like that doesn't it?"
"What do you mean? You said you guys had some kind of a staring game or something."
"I thought we had a moment but when Alice walked in and we pulled apart, she acted like nothing even happened. I mean, for her it really did seem like nothing even happened! She talked in a 'normal' manner with no weird sounds whatsoever while I acted all nervous and blockheaded!"
Emmet and Jasper stared at each other. "What?" I asked them.
"Nothing. Just ah… " Said Emmet. "I know." I replied, hating this. I was fussing over nothing!
"Edward, man, listen." Jasper started. "Uuuhh…"
"What? Guys tell me what to do. Please!"
Jasper and Emmet shrugged nonchalantly. "Tell her how you feel." Jasper said, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
"I agree!" Emmet continued with a smile on his face.
I stared at them, dumbfounded. "What? Did you guys grow two heads or something? Didn't you both hear a word of what I just-"
Cheerful voices sounded from downstairs and my friends turned to me. "Sounds like the party is starting. We better get down there, man."
With each passing second as we walked down the stairs, my heart throbbed in my chest…
But every bad feeling in me disappeared after I saw Bella. The cheers we heard from upstairs were not because of everyone arriving; it was because of 'her' arriving. Everyone surrounded her, giving her hugs and saying how glad they are that she's well back on her feet.
She wore a white sweater dress with knee-high brown boots and her hair was fixed up into a half-pony tail bun. The rest of her hair fell in soft curls down her back. She never fails to take my breath away.
I felt Emmet and Jasper run past me and go to their significant others. They met each other with a kiss. Alice and Rosalie were wearing sweater dresses as well, only in different styles.
I noticed Bella scanning her head through the people in the hallway. Is she looking for me?
She caught sight of me once I reached the bottom of the steps. It seemed like she waited a few seconds for our visitors to head to the kitchen before she walked up to me. The smile in her face almost seemed… nervous. It made me curious.
We met each other halfway but didn't say anything. Is it just me or does this seem very unusual?
"Hey." She smiled at me. "You look great."
I gave a lopsided smile. "You look beautiful." And, cue the blush! She turned her head to the side and bit her lip. It was then that I noticed her hair… the snowflake clip!
My spirits suddenly heightened and I chuckled happily. "You're wearing it!"
"Of course I am. Remember I told you I'd wear it every Christmas." I nodded in reply, smiling as I did. "But it's not even Christmas yet."
She shrugged with a smile. "It will be soon."
Just like that, it felt like all me nervousness melted away. The look I gave her was that of loving. I don't know how she does it, but she always makes me feel better without her even realizing it.
I can do this. I held out my hand for her and she took it with no hesitation.
We enjoyed the rest of the night together. All the families of our friends were here so the house was completely packed. Little brothers and sisters ran around the rooms and hallways of the house and our parents settled in the dinning room and living room, lots of chit chatter all around. Bella and I were always around our friends and of course, we never left the food table! The food this year was excellent! Bella was ecstatic and beaming the entire time…it made me happy.
A little surprise came for us, however. Imagine the look on Bella's face when she and I answered the doorbell and found Nurse Susan waiting in the porch. Charlie asked her out! And he kept it a secret! Bella didn't hesitate to let her in and lead her in the living room to her father who was blushing as I have never seen him before! You'd think that this would be awkward with Renee in the room, but it wasn't at all. In fact, it seemed like they got along very well. Bella turned all chirpy to me saying that she's so glad to finally see her father with a date! I just laughed along with her.
In the middle of the party, my mother asked me to play Christmas Songs on the piano and suggested that Bella play the guitar along with me. How could I say no to that? Everyone gathered to the music room and watched and sang along as Bella and I played some popular Christmas Carols. Some people find the piano-guitar duets to be unusual, but Bella and I had practiced for years on how to combine our music. She sat next to me on the piano bench. It felt so good to be able to play with her again! I smiled the entire time, especially when I heard her singing along. People rarely hear Bella's singing. The ones that do are one of the luckiest in the world. Her voice is just beautiful!
The rest of the night was pretty much enjoyable.
Only fifteen minutes were left in the clock before midnight came. Almost everyone gathered around the living room for the Christmas Tree lighting by that time... but I couldn't find Bella.
"Hey Alice!" I called out to her as she passed me on the hallway to the living room. "Yup?"
"Where's Bella? I can't find her."
"Hmm, I think I saw her out in the backyard."
"What? But it's cold out. What's she doing there?" I turned opposite the living room.
"I don't know!" I heard her call back to me, as I made my way to the kitchen. I took a peek over the sink window and there she was, just like Alice said.
…
Bella's POV
"Rose, where are we going?" Without a word, Rosalie dragged me out of the living room and into the backyard porch. I expected the cold to suddenly seep in, but the patio heaters did their job well.
"I just need to talk to you, that's all." She let go of my hand and sat on the porch papasan chair, tapping the side beside her for me to sit. I stared at the chair for a moment, adoring it. It's been five months since I've sat in that thing. I happily complied and sat down beside her. "Okay, so what's this about?"
"Duh, what do you think? It's about you, Edward and 'your moment' a little earlier."
I sighed. "Rose, please… haven't we talked about this enough in my room?" God! I was so stupid! Why did I even think about kissing him? The way we greeted each other when I came here was nothing short of unusual. He stared at me so awkwardly; it felt like the most atypical thing in the world! After I showed him my snowflake clip, we had managed to make each other comfortable again but, I wonder if he's thinking about what happened earlier. Does he think that it was just a random spur? Or does he think of it as something else?
I looked down, feeling the pieces of my heart break off. "He doesn't want me, Rose. The look on his face proved enough."
A smack landed at the side of my head and I stared at her in disbelief. "Ow! What was that for?"
"For jumping to conclusions!" She raised her finger at me. "There'll be no talking like that, Isabella!"
"Okay, okay, no need to get physical about it." I rubbed the spot on my head.
"For all you know he may have the same feelings for you too! That could be the reason why he acted nervous."
It was possible. But what are the chances of my best friend ever having romantic feelings for me? I was so surprised by the way how I acted after Alice walked in on us. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I guess I wanted to portray that 'the moment' didn't happen. I spoke so normally but on the inside it was like a hammer was hitting me in the chest.
It was just 'my' moment anyway… right?
Rosalie sighed next to me. "Oh… don't make the sad look. Really, it's making me feel blue."
I chuckled a bit. "Sorry. I just don't know what to do, that's all." My heart raced just by thinking of how close we were. The feel of his breath on mine, the way we stared at each other… At that point, it all seemed like a dream.
"Bella, why are you so afraid to tell him?"
"You know the reason why."
"Because you're afraid of losing him?" I nodded. "Oh Bella, Bella, Bella…" Rosalie shook her head.
"What?" I stared at her.
She turned to me and gave a serious look. "You have to tell him. Soon if you can." I shook my head, "Rose, I-…"
"No no! Just hear me out. Uhm… okay, I know this is sort of immature for me to say but I'm gonna say it anyway! Edward is still hung up on the fact that he almost lost you. Now he's even more vulnerable to the feeling of losing you… so if you tell him 'now' or anytime soon how you feel, he wouldn't run away because he's still 'hung up' and he wouldn't want to lose you anytime soon… Uhm, am I making any sense?"
I blinked. "Uh, I think I got the gist of it. But that's just mean, Rose. I won't take advantage of Edward's feelings that way." Certainly not!
"But what if he answers you back?!"
"What if he doesn't?"
The look on Rosalie's face confused me. It was like a mix of frustration and puppy dog eyes. She just let out an irritated groan rested her chin at the palm of her hand. I almost laughed at her childishness.
"Rose… Edward is the most important person to me." I said softly and sincerely. "He's my person, my… my rock, my everything. If I lose him or… if anything changes between us for the worst, I wouldn't know what to do. I'd rather live my days watching him get married and have children with another love… than to live without him completely." My words were like a knife to the heart but I meant it. It hurts to talk or even think about it. I can't bear the thought of Edward loving another woman. When that day comes… what will I do?
Tears fell out of my eyes as I took a deep breath. Do I always have to cry!? Why has this week been full of tears for me!?
I wiped them away casually and Rosalie gave me a soft look. She scooted closer to me and took me in a soft hug. "Let me tell you this, Bella. No woman in the world is better suited for Edward than you. Every other woman would be the fallen sprinkles from a banana split, and you would be the pretty red cherry on top!"
Leave it to Rose to give you humor in metaphors. I chuckled and took a deep breath. "Rose… can we just… not talk about this right now? This is like the fifth time I've cried this week and that's a world record for me."
Rosalie gave a sound of amusement. "No problem."
Riing… Riing…
Rose checked her phone screen. "Oh, it's my grandparents. I have to take this with Lily and Henry." I nodded and she stood up. "Oh, and Bella…" she smirked, her hand resting on the door screen, "just as someone who's known both you and Edward since Kindergarten, if there's one thing I know, it's this… Edward will never leave you. No matter what happens." And with that, she stepped inside.
Pondering over her words, I sighed in my seat. How can she be so sure? If only I have half as much of Rose's confidence.
Edward will never leave you. No matter what happens.
I stared at the backyard.
Everything was white and the snow was still falling. The only light I had was from the two patio heaters standing at the middle of the porch. Playing with the see-through canopy of the chair, I closed it in front of me so I was completely surrounded. For some reason from just closing it, I felt invisible. Closed from the world and all that.
Maybe that's just what I need right now.
I stared at the hands on my knees. A little scar was now situated on the right side of my left palm. It was hardly noticeable but every time I see it I'm reminded of the five months I've lost. It all seems so surreal.
Closing my eyes, I thought back to the time of spring and summer. The days of sun. I imagined Edward and me playing in the backyard, dipping in the pool, heading to our meadow and all the other countless memorable things.
Like that one summer where Winnie the Pooh was distinctly involved in our conversation…
Opening my eyes, a small movie played out in front of me. Edward and I running around the garden when we were kids, with all the flowers in bloom. I could even hear our laughter as I watched our little selves. His hair used to be so curly and red, and I had my corkscrew curls up in pig tails back then. From all the times I'd trip and fall, he's always there to bring me back up.
…
16yearsold16yearsold16yearsold…
"Thank you very much for babysitting Bella! You're an angel!"
I blushed. Rosalie's mom had called in early this morning to ask if I could babysit until noon on short notice since Rosalie was out for the weekend. Of course, I agreed and made an easy thirty bucks!
"Not at all, Mrs. Hale. It was no trouble, really. Henry and Lilly give me no problems whatsoever."
She chuckled. "Well, I'm glad. Are you sure you don't want me to drive you home?"
I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. I'm very fond of walking in this weather."
Mrs. Hale thanked me again and I proceeded out the gate and into the sunshine. Rosalie's house was only four blocks away from mine so it was no problem. In fact, I even walked slowly. No rush at all.
Once I closed my eyes to enjoy the feel of the sun, memories of what happened last week came flooding back. I shivered, not knowing if it was from fear or bliss.
Around twenty minutes later, Edward's house stood in front of me. He was still grounded today so he couldn't go out. It was just last week when he had that fist fight in school. He was supposed to be grounded for a month but after he explained what really happened to his parents, his days were cut in half. Of course, I was there for moral support.
Before I knew it, I was climbing up their tree and hopping on to the roof. A few more steps forward, third window to the right… then his body appeared through the window, catching me completely off guard!
He flashed me a brilliant smile and my heart leaped. "I thought that was you." He said. I was silently thinking of unpleasant things so I wouldn't blush in front of him.
Smiling, I walked forward carefully and kneeled in front of his window sill. "Howsit going? Bored yet?" I teased and took the moment to observe him today. He wore board shorts and a white tee. His hair was in its plain disheveled manner and he walked barefooted in his room. The sight was enough to turn me on. Stupid teen hormones!!!
"Bored is an understatement." He groaned and stepped back, expecting me to come in. "Aren't you coming in?"
I glanced up at the sun and shook my head. "Why waste a nice day out in the sun?"
"You're not just going to sit there are you?" his brow raised. I just gave him a smile and sat on my butt in front of the window. The level of the roof on this spot wasn't steep so it was safe to sit in. Edward on the other hand thought of it differently. "Bella, you might fall."
"I will not. You sit here yourself sometimes."
He groaned. "Bellaa…"
I chuckled again and turned my head around. "I won't fall. Relax. Come on, pull up a chair and sit with me. It's a nice day." I expected him to grumble but to my surprise, he climbed out the window and sat next to me on the roof. "Uh, I meant pull up a chair in your room and sit by the window."
He dusted off his hands and bent his knees in front of him. "Why? This is spot is much better and technically, I'm not breaking the rules of leaving the house. Careful, there's a slippery patch on your left."
I nudged him on the arm. "You worry too much, Ed."
He sighed, looking elsewhere. "I know."
Butterflies swiveled in my chest. He really does worry too much about me, and he's even not afraid to admit it. I took notice of his cheek. The bruise was barely there anymore and the gash was almost completely healed. I'm always amazed at how fast Edward seems to heal and I'm relieved to say that James Rogers didn't bother with Edward anymore. I hated that guy with even more passion now. Rumors spread through the school but Edward and I chose to ignore it… even though Edward is known as a 'hero' now. I just smirked at the thought. On the inside, I knew that Edward was pretty proud of it.
"Does it still hurt?" I asked. "What is?"
I pointed to his cheek. "Oh. That." He shook his head. "Not really. But if you poke it real hard like what Emmet did yesterday then yes."
I laughed. "Emmet's such a goof."
"Now that is another understatement. So, what did you do this morning?"
"Oh, a lot actually. I opened my eyes, got out of, bed, headed to the bathroom, brushed my teeth-"
"Besides the usual…" Edward chuckled. I smiled and pointed to the north side of the village. "Mrs. Hale asked me to babysit Henry and Lillian."
"Oh." He nodded. "That's nice. What did you guys do?"
"We played hide and seek and watched Winnie the Pooh on DVD."
"And?" he stared at me. "You have that look. Something good must have happened." He always reads me so easily. He may as well read my mind but the thought of him finding out my true feelings made my heart want to stop beating. "Come on, tell me. You know you want to." He used his teasing voice.
I bit my lip and nudged him again. "Alright, alright. I was going to tell you anyway."
He kept his eyes on me and waited. Unfortunately, just the fact that he's staring right at me was enough to make me feel nervous. I groaned to myself. How can my feelings feel so frustrating and amazing at the same time? It's like an inner battle was going on in my chest and it made me want to scream out that I loved him!
I was in dangerous territory. Will there ever be a time to tell him? I want so badly to tell him. I wanted to end the frustration of not acting how I really 'really' want to act in front of him.
But… at this point, my fear deemed to be greater.
"Bella?" his voice brought me out of my thoughts. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
Alright. I don't have to tell him anything now. Maybe in the future or… my heart ached… I don't know.
"No, I want to tell you." I replied, trying to get rid of the negative emotions. "So, Winnie the Pooh." I smiled widely. "There was this one scene with Pooh and Christopher Robin and… for some reason it really stuck to me," as I recalled the lines, I remember thinking about Edward when I first heard it earlier. "Pooh told him, 'If you live to be a hundred, I hope I live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.' "
We paused for a second. As I glanced at him at the corner of my eye, I noticed the lazy smile he had on his face. "That's a nice quote." He replied. I nodded.
Can I ever tell you how I feel, Edward?
I turned to him. "Edward?" our eyes locked. Maybe… maybe I can warm him up to the idea or silently give him clues?
"What is it, Bells?"
I opened my mouth to say something… anything, but only silent words came out. Disappointment sank into me. Maybe it's just not the time.
Sighing, I looked up at him again and smiled. "If 'you' ever live to be a hundred, I hope I live to be a hundred minus one day… so I never have to live without you."
His eyes widened slightly and I couldn't make out the look on his face.
For what it's worth, I felt my face heat up and I'm sure he noticed. I looked down shyly and hugged my knees to my chest. Then after a few seconds, I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders.
"Hmm… I guess we'll just have to die together then, Bells." I stared up at him with wide eyes. He smirked and brought his head down closer to me, I almost gasped. "Because there is no way I would ever live a day without you."
At that point, my heart soared so high, I could scream at the intensity of it. Goosebumps appeared on my skin as I stared my best friend's emerald green eyes. I look at him so differently now. Long before, I used to see him as my airheaded and foolish best friend who'd always make fun of me… but now, I see him as the man I've fallen so deeply in love with.
Edward… I want to tell you so bad.
I'm so sorry I don't have the courage.
My love for him grew stronger every single day… and all I could do was smile.
…
PresentPresentPresent…
"What are you doing here?"
I gasped as I jumped out of my thoughts. Edward stood at my left, peering through the canopy which I was in. He gave me his crooked smile. "Did I scare you?"
I scoffed humorously. "I think you did."
"It's cold, Bella." He opened the canopy with one hand and stepped inside, closing it again behind him. It was then that I noticed my coat in his hands. He threw it over my shoulders without a word. I suddenly felt all warm inside, and it was not because of the coat. "Thanks." I smiled. "Sit with me." I tapped the spot to my right. The chair we were sitting on was shaped like a nest so when he sat down, it was a little bit of a tight but comfortable fit.
It's weird that I feel even more nervous around him now.
We said nothing for a short while. The only music we had was from the speakers inside the house that played mellow Christmas songs.
"I miss seeing you here you know." He said. I gave him a confused look. "'Here' in this chair." He chuckled.
My heart warmed. "Oh." Come on, Bella! Say something… anything! I searched my mind for anything we could talk about but I drew out a blank. Why can't I think of anything? This is Edward here! Your best friend! You're never ashamed to tell him anything!
You can't say anything because all you want to do is 'tell' him!
Mentally slapping myself in the face, I forced out the voice of reason. It was always there to taunt me. Just when I was about to say some silly question or rant… Edward started humming. I stared at him and he had his eyes closed. He followed the song we were hearing from the inside. After his humming, he opened his eyes and started to sing.
"I promise you…I'll be home for Christmas, you can count on me…please have snow and mistletoe and presents under the tree…"
His voice was always so gentle. My whole body ran up in shivers just listening to him.
"Christmas Eve will find you, where the love light gleams… I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams…"
Smiling widely, I gently hooked my arm around his and leaned my body closer. I looked out on the snowy garden in front of us and started to sing myself. "Christmas Eve will find me, where the love light gleams..."
For the last words, we sang together, "I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams…"
It was perfect.
"I'm glad you're here, Bella."
I turned to him then. He was looking down but a soft smile was on his face. "I didn't think you'd be here for Christmas…" he turned his head to me and gave me 'that' look again… the same look he gave me after I showed him my hairclip.
'That' look always makes my heart skip a beat.
He entwined my fingers with his and warmth spread through. "But you are."
My breath hitched, knowing exactly what he meant. Nobody knew if I would wake up anytime soon, but I'm here now. Another Christmas spent with the people I love. There are just so many things I could be thankful for right now.
Removing my fingers from his, I turned my body full sideways and took him in a firm hug, which he returned. I leaned closer to his ear. "I'm glad too, Edward."
I felt him hug me a little tighter and then I lost my balance. We weren't leaning back to anything so we both had to fall backwards on the throw pillows, small sounds of surprise escaping our mouths. We chuckled then as we lay together in the chair.
As we pulled away, we didn't even bother to sit back up. I lay my head on his shoulder and he laid his on the top of mine.
The atmosphere felt perfect. The snow falling down, the patio heaters on the side and laying down next to the man I love, surrounded by a canopy. It felt like we were the only two people in the world at that moment.
It felt so wonderful just lying next to him.
There's no other place I'd rather be than here in Edward's arms.
…
Edward's POV
A lazy smile plastered on my face as I lay my head on top of Bella's. We were snuggled up in the old papasan chair and there was no other place I'd rather be than right here.
Then without expecting it, the Christmas lights in the backyard lit up, all up to the garden gazebo in the middle. The entire place was filled up with them and it's amazing that we could see them amidst the snow.
"Whoa!" Bella and I exclaimed at the same time.
She chuckled next to me. "You didn't expect that?" I shook my head. "No, I didn't know Mom hooked up the lights this year."
When lights appeared above the canopy, it made us look up. My eyes widened.
Crap!
I almost gasped. I most definitely did NOT expect this!
A little something was hanging down the top of the canopy and it was directly above the both of us. I heard Bella gasp next to me. "Is that…"
"Mistletoe." I finished for her.
We met each other halfway when I dared myself to glance at her. The expression in her eyes looked to be the same as mine. Uneasy…
We don't have to… no matter how much I want it (hell, I want it more than anything right now!), I wouldn't do it if she wasn't comfortable.
"Uhm," I gulped. "We… we don't have to uh, do it…"
"Y-yeah…" she nodded her head quickly.
"Cause uh, I mean… it's just" I shrugged, "silly Christmas tradition and uh… all." My voice was nothing short of high-pitched.
"Yeah, it's just uh, silly Christmas tradition and stuff…" her voice seemed to be a little high-pitched as well.
I nodded in agreement quickly and gave a fake snigger. What kind of sound was that!?
My head laid back down the chair as I sighed. The mistletoe was still up there… taunting me. I pursed my lips.
"Unless…"
Huh?
My heart jumped as I turned to look at Bella, my mouth slightly agape. She bit her bottom lip; a nervous habit of hers. "Unless it's okay with you. I mean… it's still tradition and everything. It's… it's not like it's a big deal and all." She shrugged, glancing at me. "R-right?"
I snapped out of my reverie and nodded quickly. "Right! It's tradition!" I chuckled, crossing my arms on my chest. "We have to- to do it."
Leaning up on our elbows, we faced each other. My heart drummed wildly in my chest.
I can't believe I'm about to kiss her…
She shrugged again. "It's… it's just a kiss."
I nodded but my eyes were already fixed on her lips. "Right…just a kiss." I whispered.
Our heads leaned in closer ever so slowly. Slowly… I didn't think I could take looking into her eyes so I kept them on her lips. They were slightly parted. At the point that I could already feel her breath on mine, memories of what happened earlier came rushing back. We were so close, and we're in the same position again tonight.
My eyes closed as our noses touched… and then…
"FIVE!!!"
We jumped in surprise and my eyes snapped open.
"FOUR!!!"
What the?
"THREE!!!"
We weren't close anymore.
"TWO!!!"
Bella looked down and I couldn't believe what just happened. The drumming of my heart stopped completely.
"ONE!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!" Loud cheers resounded from inside the house.
Not again… not when we were this close.
I tried hiding my sheer frustration by gripping my jacket until my knuckles went white. The voice inside me was telling me to just kiss her but the moment was over.
"Edward?" she whispered. I looked at her, trying to hide the look of disappointment on my face. She leaned in and kissed the area at the side of my lips. Normally it'd make my heart melt but at the state I was in, it only left a small spark. It wasn't enough but I had to hide my grief. I forced out a smile.
"Merry Christmas." She smiled softly.
"Merry Christmas, Bella."
With a heavy sigh, I sat up from the chair and offered her my hand. "We better get in there."
"Yeah." She took it and I helped her up.
"AAH-Phhftt…"
We whipped our head around. "What was that?" Bella asked.
I glanced around one more time. "I don't know." We stared at each other in confusion for a short moment before just silently shrugging it off.
……………
~Nobody's POV~
"AAH-Phhftt…"
Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie covered Alice's mouth immediately after her attempted scream and dashed themselves out of the kitchen in a quick haste!
"Over here!" whispered Rosalie, opening the doors to the empty music room, which was directly in front of the living room. As they threw themselves in, Rose locked the door behind her and breathed out.
With a growl, Alice escaped out of Jasper and Emmet's arms and stomped her feet like a kid on the floor. "WHY!!!" she yelled!
"Alice, sweetie, calm down now." Leave it to Jasper to try and calm down the group but at the suspense of what just happened… it was a little too much. They had been watching Edward and Bella from the kitchen window all this time.
"They were this fucking close!" Emmet showed the tiniest space between his thumb and forefinger. Rosalie groaned. "I guess the 'dragging the happy couple out in the backyard and hooking the mistletoe and Christmas lights on the canopy' plan didn't work."
"It actually did work, Rose." Jasper replied. "Our families in the next room just couldn't contain their excitement."
"Why! Why did they have to countdown to Christmas!? This isn't New Years!!!" shrieked Alice.
Rosalie sat on the piano bench. "What are we going to do now? For all we know they could act more awkward toward each other for the rest of the holidays."
"Depends. How convincing were you to Bella earlier?" asked Emmet as he sat next to her. Rosalie threw her hands in the air. "I did the best I can but she's still afraid to tell him. Both of them are just reading their signals ALL WRONG!!"
Jasper walked forward to the door and unlocked it. "What are you doing?" asked Alice, standing next to him. He opened the door in it's slightest. "They're about to walk this way. I just want to see how they're acting."
At the next second, all four of them were peeking through the little slit on the door. As expected, Edward and Bella walked past them and into the living room. They weren't holding hands. In fact, it looked like there was a little distance between them. They weren't even looking at each other. Bella was playing with the sleeves of her jacket while Edward picked out invisible lint on his shirt.
Jasper closed the door gently and they all groaned down at the floor. "Damn it."
"That's IT!!!" Emmet guffawed, standing from the floor. "I'm getting in there!! I'm just damn telling them!"
They restrained Emmet. "NO!!!" realizing the noise they just made, they laid low. Emmet scratched his head. "Uh, this room is sound proof right?"
Noticing their little mishap, they nodded. "Oh yeah…right."
"I want to tell them too, Em but Edward and Bella have gone this far! They have to find out themselves." Rosalie reasoned out.
"Damn right!" said Alice, standing up from her spot. "And it has gone LONG enough! I swear to God! Those two are going to tell each other how they feel before the morning comes IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!!"
"Uh… but it's already morning Alice…" Emmet raised a finger, which was probably a wrong idea. Alice sent him a dead glare. "Oh you all know what I mean! Rose! You come with me! Jazzy, Em! Both of you make sure that no one would go to the Swan's house in at least thirty minutes! Now… where's the rest of the mistletoe?"
... … … … …
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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
:) You know I actually listened to Christmas Songs when I wrote this! Haha! Just to get in the mood and all :)
And of course, the song they sang was "I'll be Home for Christmas" the versions I listened to were by Josh Groban and another by Rascal Flatts!
PICTURES of the girls Outfits, the Winnie the Pooh Snowglobe and the Snowflake clip are now Finally on my PROFILE!! :D :D Check it out! :D
Don't worry! The kiss will come!!! Please don't kill me... or... I'm probably dead right now with all of your glares :))
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