No disclaimer this time. Experimenting with a new posting format, so it looks a little different from my usual stuff. Oh, and excuse the grammar.

"Heya, Paul," Scott said on his way to class. Paul quickly waved as he passed by.

"He's ignoring you again, huh?" said a young Native American guy.

"What?"

"He's spending his time with his friends from the Institute. He tossed you aside like a ragdoll. I'm here to fix that."

"And who are you...?" Paul asked. The boy tightened his fist and it became a mechanical limb, covered with smaller tools. He waved it around for a few seconds.

"The name's Forge."

X-Men: Evolution
"The New Team"
King of the Worthless

Forge stood before his assembled group. They met in the late evening, near Bayville High. Forge's group was assembled of seemingly regular human beings. However, upon closer inspection, they weren't.

"Roll call," Forge said. His recruits immediately stood at attention.

"Paul?"

"Present."

"Taryn?"

"Here."

"Duncan?"

"Here."

"Jason?"

"Hey."

"Good. We're all here. Now, the first order of business is to assign codenames. Now, not all of you are familiar with your mutant powers, but my newest invention, the Cranium, is able to detect all of your enhanced abilities." Somehow, Xavier's Cerebro had missed this group, even though they were attending Bayville High for quite some time. Maybe Xavier had just chosen to ignore them, given their... peculiar gifts.

"Paul, you have the ability to appear in several places at once. We'll call you the Ubiquitous Man. Taryn, you can... uh... geez, you have a lot of abilities."

"Oh, really? Cool!"

"Yeah... says here you have strong leg muscles, extra-durable bone structure, tougher yet smoother cartelige, an extra organ resembling the salivary gland, increased collagen count, particularly near the neck, larger mouth structure, a prehensile, stretchy tongue and abnormal pigmentation."

"All that?" Taryn said, in shock. Suddenly, she noticed Todd Tolensky standing behind her, digging through a trash can.

"Hey!" Forge yelled. "Get lost!"

"Ok, lemme just find my geometry homework!" Todd grabbed a crumpled up piece of paper and hopped away.

"Ok, Taryn, Cranium says you have the ability to affect the negative attitude of larger male mutants toward a possible romantic interest, usually a smaller, attractive female mutant and increase their testosterone level to help exert their frustration and force the female into a situation that makes her uncomfortable."

"What?"

"You can make fat guys attempt to rape hot chicks. We'll call you..."

"Super Taryn!"

"Super Tar... No!! How dare you attempt to override my decision! For that, I will call you Worthless!" Taryn pouted as Forge moved on to Duncan.

"Duncan Matthews... you have the power to... what's this word? Ind... induce... stupidity... in pe... people... within five feet of you. Yes, you make people within five feet stupider. I think. I'll call you... Mutant Dude." Forge stepped away and suddenly realized what had just happened. He shook it off as he took a look at Jason's powers.

"Jason... you have the ability to cast illusions into the minds of the people around you, even fooling them into thinking you're a dark-skinned young high school student, when you're really not. I'll call you Mastermi- wait, wrong Jason. You can make girls around you lust for you. We'll call you Lucky Bastard."

"Oh, Jason!" Taryn moaned as she approached him. "You're so... uh... looking... not-ugly."

"Duncan, step away!" Forge ordered. "Alright. Ubiquitous Man, Worthless, Mutant Dude, Lucky Bastard. Our team name is The WCWDGMSTBTOBTSA Squad!"

"What does that stand for?"

"Do not question me! Now, put on these tight leather costumes, and we're in business!"

--------------------

"Now then," Forge said, addressing his teammates, "First, we infiltrate the Xavier Institute. Now, before we do, claim your prizes."

"I want Scott's shades," Lucky Bastard said.

"I want Kitty's laptop," Ubiquitous Man said.

"I want Jean's wardrobe," Worthless said.

"I want Jean," Mutant Dude said.

"Oh, way to spoil my fun guys," Forge said, "You claimed all the good stuff, now all I get is billion-dollar equipment and advanced technology for me to duplicate."

"Are you being sarc-"

"No, I'm not being sarcastic!"

"Well, you seem to-"

"Shut up, Worthless. Now, Mutant Dude will take the front gate. Wolverine is guarding it, so be ready. Lucky Bastard, enter through the back gate, by the swimming pool, where Shadowcat and Rogue are relaxing. Worthless, you'll jump over the west wall and take out Spyke, who's... well, he's dancing, even though there's no music. Ubiquitous Man, jump over the north wall and... uh... I guess you can strike up a conversation with Cyclops, who happens to be sitting down, doing absolutely nothing, with a stupid grin on his face. Quicksilver, you enter through the... wait a second, what are you doing here?"

"Huh?" Quicksilver asked. Nobody had noticed him huddling with them.

"Well? Why are you here?"

"I'm sorry... it's just that the guys all went to a strip club and I..."

"Excuses, excuses! Get out of here!" As Quicksilver ran off, tears in his eyes, the WCWDGMSTBTOBTSA Squad split up.

--------------------

Mutant Dude, aka Duncan Matthews, opened the front gate with ease. Apparently someone forgot to lock it. He was met by Wolverine, claws extended.

"Where do you think you're... doing?"

"I'm standing."

"You standing good. Yes. Good stand. Me wish to... uh... crap..."

"Go behind the bushes."

"No... me keep digninitity. You... not... s'posed be heres. Uh..."

"Hey, look!" Mutant Dude yelled dramatically. "It's a Bad Guy!"

"ME STOP HIM!! WOLVERINE SMASH!!" Wolverine ran out the gate. Mutant Dude walked up the path and headed for the mansion.

--------------------

Lucky Bastard, otherwise known as Jason, snuck around the swimming pool. He hid behind a few bushes, watching Kitty and Rogue swim. He took off his combat suit and stepped out.

"Ladies!" he said, walking forward.

"Hi Jason!" they yelled. They got out of the pool and walked up to him. Neither seemed to care that he was trespassing. All they knew was that they wanted him.

"So who's ready for some action?" Lucky Bastard said with a seductive grin. The girls both grinned back. Kitty was even beginning to untie her top.

"I am!" Rogue yelled. She jumped on him and-

"Dammit, Rogue!" Kitty yelled.

"I didn't mean to! Why didn't you stop me?!"

"I'm not supposed to watch out for you!" Lucky Bastard lay unconscious while the two girls argued. So much for that.

--------------------

Worthless, or Taryn as she was known, jumped over the wall to find Evan, dancing.

"Uh... Evan?"

"Taryn!" he yelled. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm... uh... here to say hi."

"Well, while you're here, how about we go out and get something to-"

"No... I've got stuff to do."

"Stuff? That's your best excuse?!" Evan yelled, ready to pop a few spikes. "You're coming with me!" Evan grabbed Worthless's arm and violently pulled her towards him.

"No! Evan! You're hurting me!" She kicked Evan in the groin. He fell over, stifling a whimper.

"Now why didn't Jean just use that?"

"Because I'm the Blob!" Fred yelled, "You can't hurt me!"

"Uh... what are you doing here?" Worthless asked. Fred was walking out of the kitchen door, carrying a large platter of random food.

"Eh, I got kicked out of a strip club. There wasn't anything left at home, so I came here. Bye." Fred walked off, chewing on a drumstick. Noticing the kitchen door, Worthless walked in as Evan continued to reel on the floor.

--------------------

Paul the Ubiquitous Man stepped over the wall. Scott waved to him, grinning.

"Hiya, Paul!"

"Uh... hey. What are you doing?"

"Well, I was helping Kurt build his model airplane, but I got some glue on my rear and now I'm stuck here."

"Why are you smiling?"

"Because that asshole, Kurt, put some glue on my lips, too. Hey, if you see him, give him a good punch to the face, willya?"

"Ok. Bye." Ubiquitous Man walked towards the front side of the mansion. Mutant Dude and Worthless were already there.

"Ah, you opened it from the inside, good thinking, Worthless," Forge said as he walked up.

"Uh... I just opened the door to let that big blue cat out." Kurt sat in the tree, looking down at them. He meowed innocently.

"No, Kurt, we're not buying it."

"Damn. Oh well. Bye!" Kurt disappeared and the others looked at each other.

"That's one for the fangirls," Forge yelled, apparently to himself, "But that's all you're getting!" They walked inside. Jean was reading a book with Ororo.

"Storm! Jean!" Forge yelled. "What a pleasant surprise! Mutant Dude, stand there!"

"Uh... ok."

"What you doing?" Jean asked. Immediately after asking, she forgot about the question and began to drool. She started to swing her arms back and forth.

"Ok, keep it up, Mutant Dude. Everyone else, up the stairs!" As Forge, Worthless, and Ubiquitous Man walked upstairs, the ground began to shake. A few chunks of the ceiling fell on them, but nothing serious. Lance stood at the top of the stairs, carrying a brown backpack.

"Avalanche!" Forge yelled. "What are you doing here?"

"Victor got too excited and the show ended early, so I decided to take Summers' government homework. So what are YOU doing here?"

"We came to take Xavier's expensive equipment!"

"Oh, is that is? Don't bother, we've already taken it!"

"What? You? I'm surprised you managed to get in here in the first place!"

"Yeah, well... uh... look behind you."

"We're too smart for that, right guys?" After the others failed to respond, Forge turned around to see them looking behind them.

"I don't see anything," Worthless said. Forge turned back around, but Lance was gone.

--------------------

"Ok, we've got everything," Forge said, pushing a cart full of equipment. "Mutant Dude is distracting Storm and Jean Grey... but where's Lucky Bastard?"

"Uh... he got intimate with Rogue," Ubiquitous Man said.

"Oh. Anyway, Ubiquitous Man, stay here and guard our escape. Worthless, come with me!" Forge and Worthless ran down the hallway. Ubiquitous Man stood at the end.

"Hey! I told you to guard the other..." Forge looked back to see Ubiquitous Man standing at the other end of the hallway. "Hmm. You really ARE ubiquitous. C'mon, Worthless."

"Not so fast!" Wolverine yelled. "Your not going anywhere!"

"Hey, I thought Mutant Dude took care of you!"

"Yeah, well I took care of him!" Wolverine held up Mutant Dude's mutilated head. "Put the stuff down and I'll let you keep your heads." Forge reluctantly left the cart in the hallway and walked away. "Not so fast! I never said I'd let you keep your hearts!"

Wolverine stabbed Worthless and slashed Ubiquitous Man's chest. He approached Forge slowly, backing him into the wall, raising his bloody claws...

--------------------

"AAAAAAAAH!!" Forge yelld. He sat up and realized that he was alive. It had all been a dream! A stupid dream, but a dream nonetheless!

"I'm home!" Forge said. He sat back down. "Oh, it was such a strange dream... you were there... and you were there... and you were there, too!"

"I think you knocked his brain loose, Fred," Lance said. Lance, Fred and Todd stood over the drowsy teen. As far as Forge could tell, he was downtown, in some alley.

"Nah, he's just like that," Todd said.

"What happened?" Forge said, realizing that he didn't remember why he was there.

"No, he knocked his brain loose. We were at the strip club next door, but we got kicked ou... er, left. And then THIS happened." Fred punched Forge again, sending him back to his dream.

When he left off, Forge was backed into a corner, with Wolverine slowly closing in on him. Yes, that's right... goodbye, Forge.

The End.

Don't expect me to further explore the subplot involving the Brotherhood and a strip club. The details I gave are as much as you're getting. By the way, WCWDGMSTBTOBTSA stands for Worthless Characters Who Don't Get Much Screen Time But That's Okay Because They Suck Anyway. Forge was ok, but he has enough "suckiness" in him to make the team.