The View From Here; Chapter 14: So What If It Hurts Me
Neil appeared in the doorway just seconds after Ryan fled the room. Christy's back was to him, her shoulders slumped, her face buried in her hands.
"Lass?" He took an unsure step forward. Though he knew he loved her, there'd never been any doubt that he didn't, he couldn't help but feel conflicted. He ached to hold her, to comfort her, yet some small part of him felt betrayed. He knew it was absurd, by all accounts, he was supposed to be dead, but the doubt still lingered. Some how, with a strength he hadn't known he'd possessed, he managed to block out all emotions except for his love for her. After all, that was all that really mattered in life, wasn't it?
He crossed the room in three long strides, halting behind her, and slipping his arms about her middle. Christy relaxed against him, her head falling back against his shoulder. She remained like that for a long moment, her sobs quieting, and tears ending as the minutes ticked by.
"Neil, I'm sorry. I didn't…If I'd…" She turned to face him as she spoke, but he halted her words with the gentle pressure of his finger against her lips.
"Hush, lass." He backed away from her. He needed to think, needed to sort out the jumble of emotions rollicking within him. It wouldn't be possible to do those things if she was in his arms.
Christy remained standing before him, a desolate look etched across the gentle contours of her face.
"Please…" It was a soft plea, but to him the word seemed to echo off the paneled walls.
"Do you love him?" Her head snapped up at his unexpected question. Neil refused to meet her gaze, opting instead to study the complex design of the rug, just as she'd done with Ryan just a short while ago.
"No." His hands curled into fists, his nails digging into his skin in a poor effort to control the anger pooling inside of him.
"Then why," his jaw clenched, teeth grating against one another, "did you agree to marry him?" If someone had asked him at that moment why his rage was so great, he wouldn't have been able to give them an answer. It was illogical, irrational, and utterly unwarranted, yet it was there, and it was very nearly all consuming.
"I didn't want to. But Neil…there was so much pressure, and I thought you were dead. And I…I was so lost, I didn't…" Christy could sense Neil's anger, it was practically radiating off of him. For the first time she was afraid of him. Not of him hurting her, she knew that would never happen, but of him leaving her. That thought coiled tight within her, embedding itself within the core of her very being. She couldn't lose him, not again.
"Neil, please…" She rushed forward, and threw herself at him. Her actions were frantic, it was as if she feared that he would vaporize at any moment. Her hands clutched at his hair, drawing his head down, bringing his lips to hers.
"It's you Neil. It's always been you. It'll always be you." She kissed him again, this time far less brutally. "I love you."
He inhaled sharply, and let his head drop to her shoulder, his face buried in her neck. His first thought was that she smelled of roses. She always smelled like roses.
Christy felt him take a shaky breath, the heat of it warming her neck. A single droplet of wetness traced down her neck and over her collarbone. With a start she realized he was crying. Neil MacNeil, hardened mountain man, and stern doctor, was crying. Her tiny frame encircled his bulky one to the best of its ability, giving comfort and asking for nothing in return.
"I missed you so much lass. When I found out I could go home, I couldn't believe it. Then, you've moved on. I thought there was nothing left for me. I…"
"Neil, you haven't lost me. I'm right here. " She continued to murmur soothing words in his ear until he seemed to calm.
Slowly, his head raised from its resting spot. Christy wiped the tears from his eyes, a gentle smile on her face. He couldn't help but grin back.
"I love you lass." Neil kissed her tenderly, before drawing back, and leading her to the settee.
They sat down, side by side, hands intertwined, gazes locked on the roaring fire in the hearth.
"Neil, what happened?"
A/N: What happened to Neil while in France? What kept him from coming home? Is this finally happily ever after? Coming up next: Christy's parents finds out about their daughter's surprise! And, Ryan may not be completely always, reviews make my day!