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Summary: John Cena is faced with a life altering event and is forced to analyze every aspect in his life. Can he save himself before it's too late or will he be lost forever?

Authors Notes: This story is picking up now. I think with the last incident with John that the time for dramatics had ended and now the time has come to focus more on what I am good at and that is falling in love with my characters as they learn about love. So look for the new few chapters to contain things that are serious and that will make the story go along smoothly but also for the romance to grow bit by bit until it all comes in with one big crash. LOL Thank you for all of the support and for those of you that added this story to your favorites, its a real honor believe me. Better then any amount of reviews. Happy Reading.

I woke up with a heartbeat in my head

"Just what were you thinking? Why in the world did you get behind the wheel? With your younger brother no less!" His mother yelled at him, shaking her head as her hands shook under the pressure of the news of the accident. How he had lived through the accident with nothing more then a scratch was beyond him. As he stood listening to her now he had wished it had been him instead of the two people he cared about most.

"Mom, I don't know what I was thinking."

"You're damn right you didn't because a sensible and smart man like you shouldn't be doing things like this. Not only is your brother in intensive care, but you killed your girlfriend, a girl that had a long life ahead of her. Do you realize what is going to happen to you?"

He knew alright. He was destined for a jail sentence and at that minute he knew it was better then the alternative. Staying out and living his life was something he knew he would never be able to do. He would never be happy knowing that on that fateful night he had killed the woman he loved and his younger brother. All Sean had wanted to do was go and play video games and then come home. Now he may never make it home. Whether he lived through the night was unclear but John knew that he was dead inside and that was all that mattered.

I deserve to be the one headed for a pine box. He thought to himself, hanging his head in his hands to push out the sounds of his mothers sobbing and yelling in his ears. He knew what he had done, and he was going to live with that forever, but couldn't she for one second be thankful that it wasn't him that was dead?

"John, your father and I have done a lot of praying and talking about this over the past few weeks. We saw the changes in you and instead of coming to you with it, we assumed that you would come to us before something horrible happened. Well that time has come and in light of what has happened, I think its time we faced facts. You need help. And we aren't strong enough to get you through it."

What was she getting at? He knew what he had done but the way she was talking was like she wished he had died in the accident tonight. She couldn't be thinking about sending him away could she? She wouldn't do that. Not to the boy she considered her prodigy.

"When your father comes home from the hospital, he is going to drive you to the airport. You will then be put into Promises treatment center. John whether you want to admit it or not, you have a problem. You are addicted to alcohol."

They sent him away the next day, on the first flight out to Beverly Hills. Promises was said to be one of the best treatment locations around and lord knows his parents believed he needed it. Deep down he wasn't mad though because the more time he had to go over that night, the night before when he had killed his girlfriend and left his brother a shell of himself, he knew that they were right. He needed help so that no one ever ended up this way again and he was damned sure going to do it. Not for him but the memory of Denise and Sean. They deserved it.

He awoke with a start, letting out a primal scream before being held down by the woman who was sitting beside his bed, obviously worn out and tired but not wanting to leave him alone.

She looked just as good as she had the night before when she showed up in his room and he wanted to tell her that, but knew after all that he had done, it wasn't right to say. He owed her so much, for being there then, when he had almost raped her and being there now when he was surely going to go to jail for what he had done.

The dream was still very vivid in his mind but he knew that it wasn't just a dream, it was fact. He had gone to Promises and he had gone through a six month long sentence so that he didn't have to do jail time. He also worked with teens that had drinking problems and had really tried to better his life. When he started working with the WWE he continued his good deeds all in the name of his younger brother Sean, who had died on a hospital bed two days after he was shipped off.

I failed you Sean and for that I don't deserve to live. He thought to himself as his eyes sat locked with hers. Trish Stratus was here and she looked like she had something on her mind.

"Where were you just now John?" she asked quietly, pushing him with her mind to talk to her and tell her everything that was making him act the way that he was.

"I was dreaming of my brother. One of my brothers anyway."

She brightened at the thought of a dream about his family. He hadn't said much about them since they had known each other and even in the last few days there was no word from them, no sign that they even existed.

"What was the dream about?"

"The night I killed him in a car accident after driving drunk. Trish, I swore it would never happen again and yet here I sit in a hospital bed, lucky to be alive while another family has to bury people they care about."

She sat on the corner of his bed then and wrapped her arms around him gently as not to push into the scars that lasted from the accident. He found that as she rubbed his back that he felt the same way he had at Hunters house. He felt safe and his breathing didn't seem to labored because with her he didn't have to try so hard. He could be him and she would accept it.

She pulled back then and looked him in the eyes. Touching his cheek with her fingertips, she smiled lightly. As bad as he looked right now she could still see the reason why all of the female fans seemed to like him. He had this way about him that even when he was broken and bruised, he still looked strong and soft. His heart was no doubt breaking for the family in the accident and she had so many things that she wanted to say to him, things that might make him take this a little easier and not cause another brush off. She didn't want him to pull away again. That was her greatest fear.

Without much thought on either of their parts, John reached up and put his hand on her fingers as they still remained on his face. "Trish, please promise me you will never leave. For the first time in my life I know what I need and I need you."

She put her lips gently to his then, feeling the cracked feeling and using her tongue gently to wet them. Her heartbeat picked up speed as their lips touched and she realized with a great deal of certainty that for once, it wasn't all about what she could do for him. It was what they needed to do for each other.

What she wanted most was for them both to heal each other.

As she broke away from the kiss she looked deep into his eyes and uttered the words that her heart wanted her to speak. "I promise."