XXX: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I am just a huge fan! :XXX

I'm attempting to bring back some of Envy's sass without making him an outright ass. How am I doing?

Enjoy!

Envy POV

The grass swayed around me, brushing against my arms and legs. Rose and I had been on a walk in the nearby woods and found a large clearing that looked perfect for relaxing in. We sat down near the edge, under the shade of a tree, but somehow ended up lying down while talking to each other.

I flipped over onto my stomach, my hair circling around my shoulders. Rose immediately started braiding it, a habit of hers by this time. I made a noise of contentment, which I was immediately embarrassed by. She didn't seem to notice, so I pushed it to the back of my mind.

As I was closing my eyes, I noticed something strange at the other end of the field. It was a different green than the rest of the trees, which is what made it stick out. I opened my eyes fully and pushed myself up onto my elbows to get a better look.

I still couldn't quite make out what it was, only that it was moving. My body seemed to move of its own accord, standing up and taking a few steps forward.

"What is it?" Rose asked, sitting up herself.

I began to notice the enormity of whatever it was I was looking at. It was huge.

When I didn't answer Rose, she stood and walked over to me, threading her soft fleshy fingers through my hard metal ones. "Envy..."

At that moment, the thing lurched out from the trees, revealing it's massive, green, dog-like head. A smile broke across its familiar face and laughed maniacally.

"Look at you. You're even more pathetic than I thought you could be," it said to me with its strange dual-tone voice.

I finally recognized it just as its massive tail revealed itself.

It was me.

The beast that I used to be leered at me. "What? Do I scare you?"

I pushed Rose behind me as I eyed the many human faces surrounding its neck and shoulders.

"What is that?" Rose gasped in horror.

"A monster," I told her.

"A monster? That hurts. Do you really think of yourself that way?" My voice was evident underneath its deeper tones.

"Envy..." Rose gripped the back of my shirt, afraid.

"This is a waste of time. Come here!" The emerald beast lunged for us, mouth wide open.

I pushed Rose back with all of my strength, then ran forward to meet it head on. It brought its mouth down to engulf me, but I braced my foot against its bottom jaw and my automail arm against its top, keeping it from closing its teeth around me.

"You're not even who I want," it spat at me. It brought it's head up, then swung one of its many arms at me, throwing me across the clearing and into a tree.

My whole body ached and refused to listen to me. I heard Rose's scream from where she sat, but still I was unable to move. The only thing I could do was lift my head in time to see the monster throw its head onto the ground where she sat.

XXXXX

My eyes burst open and I gasped in horror. The white ceiling above me had stars dancing across it as my vision adjusted. My breathing was ragged as I flipped myself off the bed, landing on my hands and knees. My wild locks fell around me, forming a protective barrier between myself and the nightmare I had just awoken from, though it reminded me eerily of the dream in question. My shoulders heaved with every breath. I put my forehead against the hard floor, attempting to settle myself.

Just a dream, I told myself.

It had just been a dream, but its meaning was entirely clear to me, whether that was its intended purpose or not. Even though I was no longer a homunculus, I was bringing the dangers of that past life into Rose's. Dante had already almost gotten to her, my lack of a right arm being the proof of that. Mustang, while trying to attack me, almost hit Rose in the process. Scar had been the first one to attack me after my fall, and I was almost certain he would try again if given the chance.

I slammed my metal hand on the ground. "Damn it!"

A soft knock came at my door, followed by someone calling my name. The last person I expected, too: Edward.

He opened the door and took a few steps inside. "Are you alright?"

I looked at him from under my hair. "Is Rose alright?"

The alchemist looked confused. "Uh, yeah. She went with Winry and Granny to pick up some stuff from town. Something about better tools for our maintenance..."

My lips parted, releasing a sigh, and the tremors that had overcome my body finally ceased. The last bits of the dream faded into unrealistic images created my imagination.

"What happened?" he asked.

I pushed myself back into a sitting position and leaned my head against the side of my bed, leveling my gaze at him. "Edward, how do you do it?"

"Huh?"

"How do you maintain relationships with people even when you know your very presence is a dangerous toxin to them?"

He looked down. "You mean how my messing with things has made Winry a hostage?"

I nodded, though he wasn't looking at me.

His hand balled into a fist, then released after a couple of minutes had passed. He raised his head with a tired smile on his face. "The people I care about are the reason I meddle with anything." He lifted his metal arm. "This is evidence of that fact."

I looked down at my own automail, resting uselessly against my side.

"Why do you ask?" His voice was quiet, barely breaking the silence in the house.

I lifted my arm, much like he had. "This is evidence of the danger I brought to Rose's life, the danger that I will always bring as long as I'm still breathing."

He knitted his eyebrows together, then walked over to bend down in front of me and grab my iron wrist with his iron hand. "You're wrong. This is evidence of your willingness to do anything for the ones you care about. We're in the same position with different circumstances. You gave up this arm to protect Rose's life. That's more than most people would do."

I jerked my arm away. "Her life was in danger because of me! I don't get credit for protecting her from something I brought about."

He smacked his right hand against against my chest, leaving it there with his fingers sprawled out. "Yes you do. You could have let her die, but you didn't. You love her, whether you'll admit it or not, and that changes people. Love and tragedy are the only things powerful enough to change people. Tragedy made you that thing you were before, and love made you what you are now, which is someone who has sacrificed his own arm to save the only person he had left that cared. You deserve something for that. Your arm for the love of those around you. Equivalent exchange."

It was incredible that his rant could have applied to either of us.

"You really think that after all I've done, giving up my arm is enough of a payment for anyone to care for me? I can never pay back those whose lives I've taken, let alone earn someone's love. I deserve to die, and that's the end of it."

His face softened once more. "You had a dream, didn't you?"

I turned to glare at the wall obstinately. "Nightmare is a more accurate description. How did you know?"

He stood up and faced the doorway. "Because I've been there. Once the guilt and the fear and every bad emotion pile high enough, they harden into a very vivid dream that presents all of your worries right to your face..."

"Sounds about right."

Edward did a half turn and looked at me with a neutral expression. "You can't let that take hold of you. Walk away from it."

My head swiveled back to face him once more. "What do you mean?"

"You can't let those fears decide where your life is going. It's not a prophecy. You can be with Rose, if that's what you want."

I stared at him, unsure what to make of the situation. "Then why aren't you with Winry?"

His face lit up. He turned around and started rambling loudly about how their relationship wasn't like that, that she was family, and all of the usual excuses. Insert heavy denial here.

I leaned my forehead against my hand, tightening my fist around my hair, and sighed. "Anyway, pipsqueak... Don't tell anyone about this, especially not Rose. Got that?"

"Yeah, yeah." The alchemist quickly dismissed my worries, anxious to leave the room after his affection for his mechanic being made evident once again. He left the room, leaving me to my thoughts.

That had been the most serious conversation I'd ever had with Edward Elric. It was much too heavy for my liking, but I did learn something from it. I didn't need to be defined by my past. I was different. I had to remind myself over and over that I wasn't that green beast from my dream anymore. My future was open to a lot of possibilities, many just pertaining to Rose. It was scary, yet invigorating.

Who would have thought that someone as old as I was could be taught a big life lesson by a fifteen year old?

XXXXX

After Rose returned from town, we spent much of the day in her room, talking about various topics. Without our noticing, the sun had packed up and gone to bed.

"Uh oh. How late is it?" Rose asked.

I looked at the window with her. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"I don't hear anyone downstairs. They might be in bed."

"I should probably get there soon myself." I stretched, just noticing how stiff my body had become.

Her face fell a bit, evidence of her disappointment. "Tired?"

I took a moment to assess myself. "No, not really. I figured you would be."

She shook her head. "Not at all.

I rolled over onto my side, just as a crack of thunder rolled over the sky, shaking the house slightly. My stump began to ache, a now-familiar dull kind of pain. I brought my hand up to my shoulder, as if it would help ease the discomfort.

Rose put her hand on top of mine. "Are you alright?"

I smiled at her. "Of course. It's just the storm."

It must have been a relatively large storm, judging by the intensity of the pain. Over the days since I lost my arm, I'd gone through this more than a couple times, so I'd started to grow used to it. But this was entirely different. The hurt came in waves, each one seemingly worse than the last. A sweat broke over my face, and Rose attempted to keep me comfortable while the storm raged overhead.

Finally, the pain began to subside as the storm moved on. Rose wiped the salty water from my face for the millionth time, but left her hand on my cheek instead of moving it away.

I looked up at her, unable to say anything, left speechless by her beauty in the moonlight.

She, too, could not find words.

We spent however many moments just taking in the sight of each other and suddenly-

Her lips were on mine.

It wasn't the first time I'd ever kissed someone. I'd had every kind of relation humanly possible over my very long years, most of which was done out of anger or torment. My old sadist ways had ruined any bit of affection that might have tried to worm its way into things.

This kiss, however, felt like the first one. I'd never been kissed this way. The control was always mine, and the feelings of the recipient had never mattered to me. Now I was entirely conscious of every movement of my lips. It was a moment I didn't want to mess up.

Our lips moved in perfect harmony, despite my worries. A fire kindled in my chest and began to spread throughout my body. I was certain that Rose could feel the extreme warmth as she curled close to me. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. We were as close as could be without crossing a certain line...

The moment those thoughts crossed my mind, I broke the kiss.

She opened her eyes and gazed at me, a smile pulling at the corners of her lips in between heavy breaths. I realize my breathing was just as labored, if not more so. I wanted so badly to find the right words, but I was in a very unfamiliar situation. She didn't seem to have any better luck.

So we said nothing.

I reached out and brought her face back to mine. I seemed to breath better when our mouths were dancing together. The warmth in my body had eradicated all the aches that were left from the storm. She twirled her fingers in the hair at the base of my neck, and I allowed my hands to explore safe places.

We continued in this way for a while, her gracing me with her affection, me attempting to keep the force of mine under control... We fell asleep at some point, though neither of us would remember when in the morning.

I had the greatest sleep I'd ever had in my very long life that night.

"You can be with Rose, if that's what you want," Edward's voice echoed in my mind.

Thank you...