Poison- Chapter 13
I hate this feeling. The feeling of white hot iron filling up your chest cavity and preventing you from breathing or talking. It cuts off oxygen flow to your brain, which makes it really hard to form actual words. It's just a simple question, you idiot. It doesn't insinuate anything. It doesn't show anything. Deep breaths. You're just asking to borrow the car.
"Dad?" I mumble, wringing my hands together in my sweatshirt pocket. My father grunts in reply, his eyes glued to the TV screen as the Denver Broncos scramble across a football field. "Can i borrow the car tonight?" Dad points the remote at the cable box, pausing his game to furrow his eyebrows at me.
"The hell could you possibly need it for?" He asks, folding his arms over his chest and leaning back in his brown leather armchair. "Everyone is going to be at the Black's house for the annual barbecue and fireworks show. Ain't you comin'?" His old Southern accent tends to come out when he's watching football. It also appears when he's angry. It aggravates the piss out of me.
"I know," I say, looking down and shrugging. Come on, Tucker. You've rehearsed this a thousand times, it's not that hard. "Tweek needs a ride; he lives on the other side of town. I told him he could ride with me." I feel my father's heavy gaze on me for a few more moments before he tosses me the keys, muttering about not fucking up his truck. Praising the heavens, i turn on my heel and walk out to the driveway, watching the sun slowly dip below the mountains. Perfect.
I told Kenny that i would pick him up around seven thirty, which is in about five minutes. Thankfully, we already have some blankets and pillows stowed away in the narrow back seat, so i didn't need to sneak those out as well. And, for the record, Kenny and i will be watching the fireworks show, just like we always do. But, i don't feel like getting drunk this year, so we're going to this place a little further up the mountain that Kenny found a few years ago. He says the street is still visible from his spot, and the fireworks look really cool silhouetted against the trees. I'm glad we could be alone together; i never did like crowds, but i love watching the show the Blacks always put on. It tends to be long and extravagant.
I pull up in front of Kenny's house, already spotting him waiting on the porch. From where i am in the street i hear shouting coming from the house, along with the sounds of glass shattering and things smashing against the wall. When Kenny makes it to the passenger side door there's a distant look of sadness in his eyes.
"Hey," He greets softly, leaning over the center console. He grabs fistfuls of my hat and smashes our lips together before i can get a word in, his tongue glossing teasingly over my bottom lip. He pulls away after a moment, his expression considerably brighter than when i first saw him. "Sorry. I needed that."
"'S okay," I murmur, shrugging as i pull away from the curb. It's hard not to grin widely when Kenny does things like that to me. I like it a lot. "So where is this magical spot of yours?" His mischievous smile grows.
"I'll just direct you as we go," He says softly, reaching forward to flick on the radio.
After following a winding dirt path up the mountain and park in a small alcove that lacks a large amount of trees, we set up the thick wool camping blanket on the hood of the truck, along with a couple pillows to make it a bit more comfortable. We leave the radio on a soft rock station, adding to the calm setting. Encircling Kenny's shoulders gently, i pull him to my side and he leans on my shoulder, a small smile blooming over his face.
"So," He starts off quietly, looking up at me curiously. "Does Mr. Spaceman actually know anything about the constellations? Or was it just a simple childhood dream that he would travel among them?" I grin slightly at him, shoving him gently.
"No," I mutter, my gaze traveling back to the sky. "I know a few of them. But i liked the stories more." I admit quietly, shrugging.
"Really?" Kenny asks softly, tilting his head. I nod and he points to the sky, his fingers dim and pale against the dark velvety evening. "What's the story behind Orion?"
"One of my favorites." I start, smiling widely. "Orion's father was the god of the sea, Neptune, and his mother was the queen of the Amazons, Euryale. He inherited his mother's great hunting abilities, and became the greatest hunter in the world. But, with that, he got a huge ego. So the goddess of the hunt, Diana, sent a tiny scorpion to kill him." I explain, my smile growing.
"Interesting." Kenny murmurs. "He was essentially killed by his own vanity."
"Exactly." I say, nodding. I hear Kenny sigh quietly, nestling deeper into my side. "What?" I ask quietly, my arm tightening around me.
"It happened today." He whispers, swallowing hard as his eyes fall closed. A cold feeling sets into my bones and i raise an eyebrow.
"It?"
"I found her today. Four years ago today."
"Oh."
"Oh." He repeats under his breath, opening his eyes. They're glossy with tears and he wipes at his face, burying it in my side.
"Its okay, Kenny." I murmur, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of his head. "You don't have to hold it in." As i start to rub comforting circles into his back, i hear soft sniffles coming from him.
"It was awful," He says, his voice muffled by my side. "It was absolutely horrifying. If i hadn't done what i did, she would be here right now. No wonder Kevin blames me. It's all my fault. All of it." Jesus Christ. Is that what he's been holding in himself for four years?
"Kenny," I start quietly, shaking my head. "You know that's not true."
"But it is." Kenny lifts his face from my shirt, his lip trembling as he speaks. I've never seen him so torn up. It breaks my heart. "If i was home five minutes earlier than i was, nothing would be like it is now."
"You can't obsess over five minutes like that, Ken." I say quietly, shaking my head. "In five minutes so much could happen. It's possible for someone to be born within five minutes too. Someone could die, someone could be born, someone could win the lottery and still someone else could finally hit platinum on their first album. All of that can, has and will happen in five minutes."
"But i was late. It's my fault." He squeaks, his voice breaking.
"You can't obsess over what you did wrong, because even if you were there it might not have changed anything." He wipes at his face, more tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.
"Okay." He whispers, nodding. "I'll try to stop blaming myself. You're right." A small smile spreads over my face and i press a kiss to his forehead, pulling him closer to my side.
"Good. Because you don't deserve that." A wobbly smile fights its way out of Kenny's mask of sadness and he presses our lips together again, tilting his head and wrapping his arms around my neck.
A firework explodes loudly from in front of us, spraying a brilliant white gold over the expanse of darkness coating the sky. We pull away and curl into each other, watching the show in silence as the radio plays from inside the car.
A/N
Hello guys! im so sorry for the lack of updates, and i also apologize for how short this chapter is. I have started working on the next chapter, and a few other projects i'm hoping to get up on here. Thanks for reading, all reviews are appreciated, good or bad. Wish me luck!