I looked up at the sky, watching as the rain poured down. Occasional bolts of lightning flashed above me. I closed my eyes, better to combat the extreme pain.

As I wove in and out of consciousness, my mind wandered to the past.

I thought back to July 1934 when the fortune teller had predicted my future. As per her predictions, one by one my friends had perished in the war. I had been notified of each of their deaths by the delicate scent of her jasmine perfume. It had never failed to manifest, and I knew by the second death of Ellery not to question its accuracy.

Now that it was my turn to join my brothers in death, why was the jasmine not visiting me? Was I to be denied it? I kept waiting for it to announce my end, but it alluded me. Was the heavy rain masking it? I deeply desired the comfort of its sweet smell, enveloping me and granting me peace.

I begged for it to appear to release me from my tremendous pain.

As time passed without meaning, I could hear the soft crunch of boots on melting snow as they approached me. I could sense a man crouching next to me. It must be the thief. He must have changed his mind and had returned to kill me.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw the man was Perkins. He was dressed in a khaki blouse and shorts, as if he was still in the desert. He didn't seem to mind the cold weather in the least. But then again, why should he since he was dead?

Perkins' face was unusually compassionate. It was an expression I had never seen him direct towards me. The bruises caused by his beating in my camp had faded until they were only faint splotches on his skin.

I noticed a second man, also dressed for the desert campaigns, approaching. It was Lyon, his face tight and drawn in what I would consider typical British stoicism. He approached Hahn and knelt to examine him, probing to discover the extent of the wounds.

Perkins took a surprisingly snowy white handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the blood from my mouth. He then buttoned my greatcoat, providing me some warmth and protection against the bad weather.

I gave Perkins a wry smile as I looked up at him.

"It's been quite a while since I've had the pleasure, Perkins. Not since May 1943, almost two years past. You've certainly kept your distance."

"Yes, Captain, you are correct. The last time we saw one another was in Guest's lovely little abode of a dungeon. You managed to escape from it with Sergeant Troy right nicely. You didn't need our help after all."

"You did mention the back door in passing, which enabled our escape."

He shrugged. "True."

Perkins didn't say anything for a few minutes. "You haven't needed us again until now, have you?"

"You were rather bitter about the delay I caused you during our last meeting. I'm not keeping the two of you from sex on the beach, or heaven forbid, lavender tea cakes, am I?" I half-heartedly joked.

"No, you're not, Captain," Perkins shook his head. "I truly have all the time in the world for you today."

I gave a bitter laugh. "Unfortunately, I do not have much time for you. Not given my current circumstances." My eyes locked with his. "I won't be escaping this time, Perkins."

Perkins gave a small nod. "You are in a rather bad way."

My attempt at laughter gave way to an agonizing cough. "That's a typical English understatement, given the fact I am dying. What is the status of my unit, Perkins? The five remaining men?"

"They will survive the war. They're safe and have already become POWs. They were captured by the Americans rather than the Soviets. They always believed it was lucky to be under your command. Today, their beliefs were confirmed."

"And Hahn?"

Perkins looked over to Lyon. Lyon said nothing which provided Perkins with his answer.

"Hahn is dying," Perkins replied simply. "He should pass right around when the sun sets."

"Everything revolves around the setting sun with you, Perkins," I joked. "You really should attempt to be more original."

He smiled faintly. "Still being difficult, Captain? Even in your current state? Some things never change, including you. I suppose I would be disappointed if you had. It certainly would eliminate our interesting conversations."

"I am now a major, with a promotion to Oberstleutnant in process," I replied, irritated. "Didn't you receive the memo up above? If anyone should know, it should have been you. You are assigned to me as my guardian angel."

"True. I did receive notice of your promotions. I can assure you there was no insult intended. I am right proud of how things turned out for you. But to me, you will always be known as 'Captain'. It's like your given name."

I already knew the answer to my next question, but still, I felt compelled to ask. "You have informed me about Hahn's condition. And myself?"

"Also dying," he responded without hesitation.

"Don't tell me it will be when the sun sets. Surely, you can be more original? As least allow me to witness one final dusk," I said, trying to make light of the situation.

"The dusk I can grant you, but it will be unpleasant while you wait for it."

Perkins' eyes were piercing. "You asked about your men before inquiring about yourself. Again, I commend you for putting your men first, Captain."

I shuddered as a spasm of intense pain sliced through me. I closed my eyes tightly until it lessened. After a few minutes, it became tolerable.

"You in pain?" Perkins asked, gravely.

"Yes." I steadied myself against it. "As one would expect given my wounds. You be the judge to what I am experiencing." I could hear Hahn moaning, in and out of consciousness. "And Hahn's pain, Lyon?"

For the first time Lyon spoke. "He's also in severe pain."

Guilt filled me. "Hahn would have escaped if he hadn't returned for me."

"Yes, he would have," Perkins agreed. He paused before continuing. "Captain, we have the ability to assist just one of you regarding the pain. . ."

I answered without hesitation. "Take Hahn's pain away. His death is of my doing. Let him die in peace."

"As you wish, Captain."

Perkins gave a nod to Lyon. Lyon reached down and gently touched Hahn's cheek with his smudged fingers. Hahn visibly relaxed. For a brief second, I feared he was gone. But instead, he was deeply sleeping, his chest regularly rising and falling, his face relaxed and free of the all-consuming agony.

There were several bolts of lighting, briefly brightening the growing darkness. The accompanying thunder was loud, preventing us from speaking.

When it had quieted, I spoke. "My wounds are the same as Lyon's when I came across him at Jufra. It is as you predicted in the desert, Perkins."

"Yes, they mirror his. I have not been wrong yet, Captain, not about any of my predictions."

"Have you been told how you possess a certain smugness, Perkins, regarding being right?"

"You would not be the first to have told me," he admitted with a wide grin. "Adrian's been complaining about losing pints to me."

I turned my attention to the other man. "Lyon?"

He moved to kneel beside me.

"Yes, Captain?"

"I was willing to perform a mercy killing on you. I am requesting for you to return the courtesy. My pain is overwhelming. Allow me to die as a man and as a soldier."

Lyon glanced at Perkins.

Perkins shook his head slightly.

"Captain, I'm unable to authorize such an act. We're not here for such reasons."

"Heroin? A simple overdose? Provide me the materials and I will prepare the drug myself. I would like to feel its delicious pleasure one last time. I enjoyed it so much during the brief time I experienced it. At least give me a pleasurable death, such as the one Guest promised me. Surely you can match him?"

Lyon again looked at Perkins who shook his head for the second time. "No heroin overdose, Captain. Not then, not now."

I laughed at the bitterness of the situation. "Then it will be a long afternoon, gentlemen. Are you allowed to at least share a fag with me, Lyon?"

"Of course," Lyon said with a strained smile. "That I'm able to offer you."

"Hopefully, you have matches. I held on to your lighter until this morning, when an Allied souvenir hunter took it. I apologize for its loss, Lyon. Now, for a second time."

"No worries, I have matches to go along with the fags."

He pulled a pack of American Lucky Strike cigarettes and matches from his pocket. He shook out two cigarettes and lit one for both of us. He placed it between my lips since I had not the strength to hold it.

"The lighter has had an interesting history the short time you possessed it, hasn't it?" Lyon commented while he smoked. He appeared unconcerned about its loss. "You took very good care of it while it was in your possession. I and my father thank you for your efforts. I dare say, though, you will forever be its only master. I don't believe it ever actually belonged to me. It seemed like it was always waiting for you to own it. Ah, well! Things in life have a way of coming full circle."

God, the cigarette tasted so good. I drew the smoke deep into my lungs, holding it for a few seconds before allowing it to escape. The nicotine calmed me and gave me strength. Occasionally, Lyon would shake the ash from it until I was finished. He then took the butt from my lips and pushed it into the ground.

"Perkins?"

"Captain?"

"See to my family. I have no idea where they are, or if they're even alive."

"I can assure you your family is safe and will remain so in Coburg. Coburg will surrender soon, but will be in the American zone of occupation. They will have a difficult time for the first year after the war, but will emerge stronger afterwards. And I might add, much wealthier." Perkins gave a short laugh as he shook his head. "Your family will make a fortune importing tobacco from an eccentric American family living in a God awful place called Virginia."

"Why am I not surprised?" I joked. "Tobacco will be more valuable than gold after the war. My father was never one to miss an opportunity. He really should have dedicated himself to business instead of the military."

A wave of pain rose within me. It took me a few moments to ride it out.

"My sister. Will she also have peace?"

"Yes, Ellery was a fine man, but she will marry one his equal. Will have three children, I might add," he added, smiling.

"And Ellery?"

"He has been at peace for quite some time. After his second visit to you in the desert, he was finally able to rest. He always wanted Liesl to find happiness when he was denied her."

My next words were difficult. "The woman I was to marry? It was not Agathe, was she?"

A look of sadness crossed Perkins' face before he shook his head. "It was not of your doing, Captain. Agathe's fate was already pre-destined, as was the other woman's and yours."

"I searched for Agathe, Perkins, on my final furlough. I did not want to accept when our life together should just be beginning, it was already over."

"I'm truly sorry, Captain. But if you had married Agathe, it would have been a serious mistake. It would have been difficult to correct given your religious beliefs. Your love would have grown into resentment, and she would have eventually been unfaithful to you."

"I don't believe you. Agathe never would have betrayed me." I spat the words at him.

"Her betrayal would have been with a subordinate officer reporting to you," he confirmed. "Your engagement was for the wrong reasons, Captain. It was due to the war and to the loneliness the two of you were experiencing. For you, it was also due to your assault by Guest and your self-doubts regarding your masculinity."

I said nothing, refusing to admit what I had feared all along.

"You both knew the real reasons deep down inside," Perkins said. "It's why Agathe wanted the engagement kept secret."

I turned away from him. The anger within me fought with denial. "Leave me, Perkins. Allow me peace in my final moments away from your poison. I would rather die alone."

Stubbornly, he remained beside me. "I have only shared with you shadows of the future, Captain, of what could have been. Time has been corrected and these shadows are no longer relevant."

My denial was consuming me.

"What of my child which Agathe was carrying?"

Perkins remained quiet, giving me my answer.

"An innocent child? Please, not the child also! For once have mercy on me. At least allow the child to survive," I begged.

Perkins face was unbelievably soft and gentle in a way I had never seen it before.

"This son was not meant to be yours, either."

"A son?"

"Yes, a boy."

I smiled at the knowledge of having a son even though he was now safe in Heaven. An unbelievable sense of loss and sadness overwhelmed me. I had hoped the child would live in a better world than mine. But, like so much else, it wasn't to be.

I now understood the loss other men and their families had experienced during the war. While losing my men in combat was something I would never forget, I had not experienced a personal loss.

Now I had.

I had been blessed and fortunate and had never realized it. I had lost everything of any value. The war, my men, my family, Agathe, my child. I was close to losing my sanity with all the killing.

I had nothing left to offer the God of War.

Except for my own life.

"One wish, Perkins. The woman, the red-haired American doctor, the one you said I was to marry."

"You've never forgotten her, have you?" He sat back on his heels, a broad smile creasing his face.

"She was too intriguing to forget. She kept weaving in and out of my life at a distance, someone I could never grasp, but always there."

Another spasm of pain raced through me, and I couldn't stop myself from grasping his hand, hoping to steady myself against it. I held unto him so tightly I thought I would break his hand. My body arched, my head thrown back in a silent scream to the gray sky.

Perkins waited patiently for my throes of misery to subside.

"What is your wish regarding the woman?" he requested.

"Don't have her remain a spinster. Deliver her to someone special, someone who will truly love and honor her. Grant her a happy and fulfilling life."

"Some things never change. Still thinking of others?" he chided me. "Even a woman you have never met?"

"After all these years, I feel like I have met her, frequently, in my dreams."

Perkins gave me a slight smile. "Alright, I'm not really supposed to grant final wishes, against the rules, you see. But I don't think the higher ups will find out. They're a bit tied up with the war still going on. I should be able to slip this one by their post-mortem audit of your case. I believe, given the circumstances, it will be all right if it will provide you some closure."

He glanced around as if to ensure a heavenly official wasn't about to appear and chastise him for breaking the rules. He reached out and took my hand between his rough and calloused ones, and placed it on his cheek.

"I promise you the woman will marry an extraordinary, honorable man. A man who is worthy of her, one who will love her as deeply as she loves him. The two of them will truly have a wonderful and lengthy life together."

"Thank you, Perkins. Your reassurance means quite a bit to me." I paused for a moment. "And her name? You never told me."

He smiled. "Maureen."

"Maureen," I said, enjoying the feel of her name on my tongue. "Beautiful. I now understand," I said with a knowing smile. "It rhymes with 'Irene'."

Pain again consumed me. This time, I could not prevent myself from screaming, the sound echoing among the trees. The agony lasted for several minutes until my remaining strength evaporated. I collapsed back to the ground.

"I apologize for my weakness," I managed to say when it subsided. I know what my father would think of me for not being stoic.

"You have been anything but weak. There is no one else to hear or judge you. Only Lyon and myself. And, as for your father, he would believe you to be incredibly brave and stoic," Perkins responded, as if I had spoken the words out loud.

I doubted Perkins. "Would he?"

"Your father would be weeping at the agony you are enduring. You have been nothing less than an extraordinary, honorable soldier, a man more than worthy to be his son."

"I did not fulfill my oath to Irene to ask for his forgiveness," I admitted with difficulty. "I had several opportunities over the years to do so."

"No, you didn't keep your oath," Perkins agreed.

"The timing was never right, the situation off." The lie sounded feeble even to me.

"Was it perhaps your apology would not have been truly sincere at those moments?" Perkins asked innocently.

"You know me too well, Perkins," I said, irritably.

"It's one of the perks of my position."

"I failed, Perkins. As an officer to Germany and to my men, a son to my father, and as a man with honor to myself. Not having self-honor is truly my only regret in life."

"You have been a noble, strong yet sinful man, Captain."

"The sin of the homosexual sex I allowed to happen with Guest?"

"There was no sin on your part. You were raped by Guest. A pleasurable rape, but rape all the same. You should hold no shame for ultimately enjoying what was done to you against your will."

Pain overwhelmed me. I began to convulse until it subsided. This time, I had no strength to scream out my agony.

"My, God! Shoot me," I begged to the two men. "Allow me to die with dignity. I'm unable to stand the pain anymore."

Lyon fell to his knees beside me. "You have nothing but dignity, Captain. More so than you can possibly imagine. You have more than proved it today and throughout the war. If only more soldiers possessed a fraction of it, the conflict would not have been so horrific."

The pain overtook me again, blinding in its intensity. Returning more and more frequently, and remaining longer, each bout was sharper than the last.

It was impossible for me to continue enduring it.

"Perkins, are you able to hear my confession and perform the Last Rites on me?" I gasped in short breaths. "I suggest you not to tarry. I have little time remaining, no matter what you say about my time of death."

"We're angels, not priests, Captain. You will be fine without confessing and without the Last Rites being administered to you. Rest assured, you won't need them."

I could see the storm clouds part for the briefest moment. I caught a final glimpse of the sun in its brilliance as it began dipping behind the trees.

Ah, finally the sunset Perkins foretold.

It would not be long now.

I began to pray out loud, still desperately clutching unto Perkins' hand.

"Almighty God, I give you thanks for surrounding me, as daylight fades, with the brightness of your light. I implore you of your great mercy, as you enfold me with the radiance of this light, so you would shine into my heart the brightness of your Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ our Lord."

I found myself now strangely at peace. It was the first time I had ever experienced such complete peace. I felt myself relaxing, settling deep into the snow, my eyes becoming heavy until I had no strength remaining with which to keep them open.

Desperately, I wanted to live, but I accepted the inevitability of dying.

The pain had melted away. I could no longer feel anything. The anxiety and anguish which had been my constant companion throughout my life were absent. It was a delicious feeling, better than heroin. Yet this was a natural feeling, without the numbness and stupor the drug brought with it.

So this is what it was like to die. It was so beautiful!

Highlights of my life flashed before me in an instant. . .

Fishing with my grandfather, having sex the first time, knowing Irene, graduating from the Academy, encountering the fortune teller, purchasing my first O'Keefe painting, reporting to Rommel, overcoming hopeless odds at Jufra, succeeding the few times against the Rat Patrol, embracing heroin, knowing I was to become a father, witnessing the Rommels' final dance, having hope at the intoxicating combat at Unternehmen Wacht am Rhein, delivering Frege to safety, and finally, savoring the simple pleasure of a chocolate bar yesterday with my men.

Ah! So much in such a short time!

"I had a wonderful life, Perkins."

"Yes, you did, Captain. Few men have lived a life such as yours."

"Good-bye, Perkins and Lyon," I said with the last of my remaining strength.

My breaths were now shallow, my chest barely rising.

"Good-bye. It was an honor to serve you, Sir," Lyon responded in his crisp voice.

"Good night, Captain," Perkins replied, squeezing my hand to provide courage. "We will cross paths again." I could feel him lean down and lightly kiss me on the forehead.

My eyes remained closed. "Has night already fallen to end my suffering?"

"No, Captain," I heard him as if he was fading away far off into the distance, his final words faint. "Not yet. But it will shortly. You don't have much longer to wait. I promise."

I felt relief. It was finally over.

Then, I slipped away and there was nothing.