Eilidh POV:
I leaned my head against the wall and tried to think about how to do this. How was I going to just walk in and say hello to the family that hadn't even noticed I was missing. I could feel tears pricking my vision and a lump forming in my throat. It had been so long I could barely remember their faces. My memory was a long one but time dulled even the strongest of memories.
There were so many things that had changed. I had kids now - a lot of them. Even though I was unable to create lasting connections with anyone since Veo, I still fooled around from time to time. And sometimes babies had resulted from the flings. I loved my kids more than words could say but sometimes I wondered what my life would have been like if Veo were alive. Would I have had children with him? What would they have looked like?
They were waiting for me downstairs. The plan had somehow turned into 'tell the truth and hope for the best', and my kids were waiting to meet their aunts and their grandparents. I was trying to think through how I would do this in a way that wouldn't totally terrify and overwhelm them.
There was probably no way to do that.
I got up from where I was sitting on the ground in my room at the top of my tower. I was fine. This was fine and good. I was excited.
I descended the circular staircase and entered my room of art. Musical instruments were around the room and in the center was a circular couch that surrounded the spiral staircase and looked out at my property. There were floor to ceiling windows in this circular room and it was one of my favourite places to be.
I kept going, descending into the two story library underneath. I could hear my children talking together, the hum of their voices blending into a hum. They were sitting in my personal kitchen, that took up a third of the bottom floor of the library. It was a weird thing to have in the middle of a library, but when I was lost in my books... there was no place I wanted to go.
The library smelled old. I had books the world hadn't even heard about in here. I was certain that this was the most extensive collection that existed.
"Matera!" Dike jumped up and ran over. Her hair was light brown and her eyes were the light blue of her father. She was just barely taller than my 5'7'' and looked much more like her father than she did me. Her twin sisters Eunomia and Eirene were right behind her.
The three were identical. If Eunomia didn't have pink streaks in her hair and Eirene didn't have her hair cropped to her chin even I would have a hard time telling the difference between them.
"Do you think Matisera and Grandad will care what we wear?" Dike twirled in a light blue sundress.
Dios rolled his eyes from the couch. The man who inspired the story of Jesus (the Source had sent him down to try and save the humans from themselves, and to try and keep me in check) he had dark olive skin. His hair went down to lightly brush his shoulders and was a mix of copper and dark brown. His eyes were just like mine in my Paralia persona - gold and swirling.
"No, they won't care what you wear." I gave them each a hug and a light kiss and went over to where the rest of my kids were sitting. Astrid was perched on the arm of the couch with some of her own kids in her arms. Her husband was glowering beside her and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him. He made her happy. That was what was important.
"It'll be fine mom." Astrid gave me an encouraging smile. "You can do this."
I really hope that I could.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x
I stood outside my house - their house. The house I had grown up in. I could hear them talking inside as if nothing had even happened. At this point old me had only been gone an hour or so.
My kids were waiting at home for me to call them. If things went poorly then I was going to flash back and we would postpone the meeting.
"Okay..." I breathed out heavily and resisted the urge to knock. People don't knock before entering their own home.
"Hey!" My sister called out to me from the family room down the hall.
I felt tears forming and I breathed in deeply, trying to calm them. I needed to relax if this was going to go well.
I walked over and thanked the Source that everyone was in the family room. All three sisters, my brother and both my parents. It would make things much easier for me.
"I need to talk to you."
The talk went better than I was expecting. I mean, they hadn't run screaming. As it was, they were pretty silent. My dad's face was in his hands, and my mother didn't even look like she was breathing, let alone that she was processing everything that I had told her. I had left out the bad bits - the torture, the pain. I just said that I was sent back far into the past.
"I have kids." I murmured, so quiet I wasn't sure that they had heard me.
"We're grandparents." My mother breathed. Her hair was sprinkled with grey and there were dark bruises under her eyes from too many night shifts.
"Technically, you're grandparents. Astrid has some kids of her own."
She nodded, then started to laugh. I looked between my sisters and my brother who really looked like they wanted to believe me. But I could tell they didn't.
"I can prove it, if you want." I said quietly.
They all nodded. Proof. They wanted proof.
I closed my eyes and switched through each persona until I got back to the one I was currently wearing - my original form. They were all pale. I knew it was hard. They were Christians. They didn't believe in gods and goddesses - they believed in God. I believed in Him too, although after everything I was fairly certain He and the Source were the same thing.
"So."
"So." I responded and my heart sank. They didn't want me anymore.
"Well I think it's cool." My youngest sister said. Nina was only fourteen but she seemed so much younger in this moment. The world hadn't touched her yet, hadn't ruined her. Her brown hair was in a bun on the top of her head and her face was smattered with freckles. I had forgotten how many freckles she had.
I smiled weakly at her and then my brother was by my side. Technically older than me by a year, he looked so young now. He was still taller, but he was wiry and his sandy hair was too long from skipping too many haircuts.
"Do you want to meet my kids?" I asked hesitantly. "There are eight of them."
"Of course we do." My mum said gently and I felt a tear escape from my eye and slide down my cheek.
x.x.x.x.
The meeting between my family and my children was brief. Meeting so many people had to be overwhelming for my parents and my siblings, so I had done my best to let it be quick and painless. My family was going to come to Haven in a week to visit. I had rooms already made specifically for them.
I was walking up the stairs to my room when my daughters came running, tears in their eyes. Chloie, Atty and Lacy held hands and I knew something was wrong. They had seen something.
"You're going to get kidnapped by Noir!" A sob broke from Chloie's throat and they fell on top of me, clutching at me for dear life.
"Don't tell me any more." I whispered quietly. If that was my fate there was no way I could change it. Or if I tried to fight it, I could make things much, much worse.
"But-"
"You know I can't change anything without risking ruining the timeline." I said gently, my stomach dropping. I was going to be kidnapped. I would be stuck with Noir again.
"Matera-" Lacy stuttered.
"Go get some sleep." I said gently and squeezed each of them tightly. "And don't tell your siblings about this."
They nodded and left, clutching at each other even as tears slipped down their cheeks. I sighed. They didn't deserve this. Living a life with a mother who always gets taken from them. They deserved better.
x.x.x.x.x.
The next few days I spent readying for my eventual departure. I made sure that my staff could keep going without me. I didn't want to leave them with nothing. I forced Ryn to promise me that she would keep things running while I was gone. She had more than enough power to enforce the rules.
I wandered the boihabitats at the back of my property. They were attached at the back of the house, and were there so that weres could experience the climat native to their animal part. My favourite was the rain forest. I hated the cold.
I crossed over into the Savanna. I hear a roar beside me and rolled my eyes at Silas. He was in the form of a lion. As a Katagaria Litarian, he spent most of his time in hi animal form, only really coming out in human form at night to work in the club.
He changed and flashed clothes on, grinning at me. "Hey boss," He was an attractive man, with tall wide shoulders, gold hair to his chin and amber eyes. He looked about twenty five, but I knew he was closer to seventy. The shirt he currently wore clung to his muscles and left very little to the imagination.
"Everything ok?" he asked when I didn't respond. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his weight a little to one side.
"I need you to take care of the club when I'm gone."
"Where are you going?"
I didn't respond. Instead I went over and hugged I'm quickly. "Don't forget to feed Tara and Kamilia while I'm gone. THey won't do it themselves."
"I will." He said solemnly and I nodded, satisfied.
x.x.x.x.x.
I left Haven. Today was the day I was supposed to get dinner with my family. And I had a feeling I wouldn't make it to that dinner.
The air was damp and the sky was grey. Haven was only a few blocks from the British Museum and the very center of London.
I felt the ripple in the world as a man appeared in front of me. I had never seen him and yet I knew that he was the one who was supposed to take me to Noir.
"Why does he want me now?" My voice was barely a whisper. Memories of a dark room with cold floors plagued me.
"I'll let him tell you." He grabbed me and we flashed down into Asmodea.
Part of me wondered if that was the last time I would ever see the sun.