Chapter Thirteen

Time and time again Bobby and I tried, and every time I kept losing the baby. By the time I lost the fourth child, I was just done. Each time I lost a baby, the further I distanced myself from Bobby. Finally, two years after we married, we separated. Lorraine and Frankie were still together, Nicky and the wife were having some problems, and Tommy... Well... I wasn't sure about him. Every other week he always had a new girl.

During our separation, Bobby met this girl and they began going together. Not that I minded, we were divorcing anyway. But there was one thing I didn't understand.

Why did I feel a little guilty?

I walked into the house that we shared from time to time (I usually stayed there; Bobby lived with his girlfriend) and heard him trying to figure out a song in the other room. I walked in where he was standing over the dining table, the pencil in one hand and the paper on the table. I smiled softly.

"You know, if you want it to be for Frankie you gotta make that a little higher, it's too low for him." I leaned on the doorway. He looked back at me, and smiled politely. He seemed to be growing a goatee.

"Well," he stood up straight. "It really your part I was trying to figure out."

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah." He nodded. I walked over to him and looked at the song.

"Oh, I like this." I smiled.

"I figured."

"Working My Way Back to You..." I nodded. "Nice."

"Did you cut your hair?"

I looked up at him. "Oh, yeah." I nodded. "I cut it yesterday."

"It's short." He raised his eyebrows. I nodded.

"I love it. It's easy to take care of." My hair was about chin length now and permed to make it just a bit shorter. The natural red tint was shining to make it even more red.

"It looks good."

"Thank you." I smiled and lightly messed with his new facial hair. "This makes you look more like a man, not like a child. It looks good on you. You look so sophisticated."

He laughed quietly. "Thanks."

"So what're you doing here?"

"I stopped by to get my piano, and decided that maybe I should work on the song a little bit."

"Looks like you left the piano."

"I put it in my car."

"Oh, okay." I nodded. "I should've brought it over to you, but I've been busy writing a few songs of my own."

"It's fine. We can go over your songs later if you want."

"Sounds good."

We stood there for a few seconds before I smiled again and started for the fridge to get me something to drink but something caught my arm. I turned and Bobby's hand was on my arm, gently, and he was looking at me. There was some kind of look on his face, I couldn't make it out. The next thing I knew, his lips were on mine. I kissed him back, my arms going around him. My hand rested on his cheek and I lightly stroked his cheekbone. The facial hair tickled me a little, and I smiled into the kiss. I deepened it a little, holding him close.

!

Afterwards, I sat up in the bed. Bobby was busy getting dressed and fixing his hair.

"It looks fine." I smiled softly. He looked over at me. "Really."

"I just don't want to—"

"I know. You don't want her to know. Technically, it's cheating in a way I guess you could say."

"Yeah." He cleared his throat.

"Belt's unbuckled."

He quickly fixed his belt. I put on my discarded underwear and crossed my arms, putting the rest of my clothes back on.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Bobby looked at me. I fixed my hair the best I could before looking at him.

"Well..." I started. "It's better than being in a marriage where we don't really... Get along anymore."

"We do this, it'll most likely be forever."

"I know."

"And it all takes place tomorrow morning."

"I know..." My voice was a little more quiet.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Are you?" He sighed quietly. "I mean, don't you think it'd be for the best? And besides, we don't have any kids, so who's really suffering?" I crossed my arms.

"Good point." He sighed again. "I'll see you tomorrow in court?"

"Yeah." I nodded. He did the same.

"Okay."

I smiled softly and with that, he left.

!

That night, I took my wedding ring off of my finger and looked it over a few times before setting it down. It had to be my fault why the marriage didn't work—he wanted to comfort me, but I pushed him away. I pushed his love away and I drove him away from me.

"Why do I always do this shit...?" I muttered to myself and turned off my light. I set it down on the nightstand and turned on my side, falling asleep.

!

"And the assets?" the judge looked at us.

"She can have the house and the car. I already have another home." Bobby spoke up. I looked over at him and he smiled softly at me.

"Is that all?"

"Yes sir." He nodded.

The judge banged his gavel. "Alright. Mrs. Gaudio gets the house and the car and half of the money that Mr. Gaudio earns with the songwriting and the Four Seasons."

Not too long after, we signed the necessary papers and left the courthouse, walking down the steps. Bobby had his blazer draped over his right arm as his girlfriend pulled up in her car. I looked at my hands for a moment before looking up at Bobby.

"The house will be empty..." I said quietly.

"It's okay. I'll visit from time to time."

"I'm sorry we couldn't work this out..." I looked down. "It was my fault, after all."

"Don't feel like that. Everything happens for a reason. It was fun while it lasted, though." He smiled.

"Yeah..." I nodded. "Still friends?"

"Of course."

I grinned. "Good. I'll see you tomorrow at the studio, then."

"Sounds good." He nodded and got into the car with his girlfriend, and I waved at them as they drove off. Bobby gave a soft wave before they were out of sight.

!

"Just be glad your divorce ended with you two being civil. Frank and I can't stand sight of each other." Mary flicked the ashes off her cigarette. We sat in a restaurant, waiting for our food.

"And that's not good for the girls. I mean, you have to at least try to be civil for them." I said, taking a drink of my Coke.

"You some kind of relationship expert?"

"I'm just saying..."

"Well don't talk about nothin' you don't know anything about."

"Okay..." I looked down. "But have you seen how Francine is acting lately? You need to have a close eye on that girl."

"Well, if she had a father maybe she wouldn't be acting out as much."

"I didn't have either of my parents, and look at me. I'm a very successful person. Sometimes I think... Kids need someone to look up to, and... Mary... With all due respect... All this drinking and shit you're doing, it ain't anything to really look up to."

"Look, Tyler." Mary snapped. "I do what the fuck I want, and I'm busting my ass to raise my girls."

"I'm not saying you're not—"

"And while Mr. Hot Shit On A Stick is out there having fun, I'm raising his kids. Now is that fair?"

"It's not all fun and games... I'm there. It's hard work."

"Pfft. Okay." Mary rolled her eyes. I sighed, not saying anything else. I should just let it drop.

But Francine was going down a bad road, and I was getting worried about her. She was hanging out with the wrong crowd and doing all the wrong things.

We needed to have a serious talk.