Chapter 14

Michaela felt relieved. First she had told her father everything what she had remembered from her dreams and then what had happened outside of the hospital. To her surprise, he had shown interest in everything what she had said and never in one single moment had tried to convince her that it was just her imagination playing tricks on her. But then, it was her father. Who would never say something he wouldn't believe. Especially when it came to her. His favorite daughter. They had a special bond no one could explain and they always knew when something was wrong with the other. They had no secrets and had shared almost every moment together since she can remember. She just would be lost without him.

And then he had told her, she was well enough now to return home the next morning. Finally, she had thought. She was tired of seeing just empty, white walls around her, nurses running in and out, asking if she would need anything, if everything was to her likening. But most of all, she was looking forward to sleeping in her own bed, having her favorite breakfast again, her dresses, just her own room again.

Yes, at this moment, she felt happy. Having finally talked to her father and going home tomorrow.

Her thoughts were interrupted with a light knock on the door. It was already late in the evening and her parents had gone home as William had done as well. Curious, she called out, "Come in."

To her surprise, she saw her mothers head poking in. "Michaela, I see you are still awake. I hope I am not disturbing you."

"Mother? I thought you already went home with father. Is everything alright?" Michaela asked.

Elizabeth closed the door behind her and walked over to her daughter. "Yes, yes, everything is fine," she stuttered. She was standing at the end of the bed and was holding onto the bed frame with both hands.

"Mother?" Michaela was sitting straighter in bed now, curious why her mother had come back and why she seemed real nervous.

Sighing, Elizabeth took a deep breath, "my youngest daughter is getting married. Your father told me you two already talked about it but he seemed unhappy. I need to know what is going on, Michaela. I know you always consult your father but I am your mother and I deserve to know the truth." Elizabeth hadn't intent to sound so demanding but she was afraid that there was something in her daughters mind that she didn't know about.

Swallowing, Michaela asked, "what exactly did father tell you, mother?"

Moving alongside the bed, she sat down at the edge, close to her daughter. "He told me that you are confused about your feelings towards William. Why, Michaela? He is a good man for you and very respected as well. You liked him so much since the first time you met him. For a time, he was the only one you talked about."

Dropping her head, Michaela fought against her bubbling emotions again. She just didn't want to cry in front of her mother. She used to be such a strong, confident and determined woman and doctor. But now it seemed they had been replaced with self-doubts, weakness and uneasiness. She simply seemed effectively lost.

Seeing her daughter struggle, Elizabeth let down her guard, put her disappointment aside and took Michaela into a loving embrace. "Oh Michaela, I wish you would tell me what's on your mind." As if she had read her mind, she added, "you were such a strong and happy person. You were always so determined to get what you wanted. What happened Michaela?"

Leaning back, Michaela let out a sigh. "I wish I knew mother. Everything seems so different. I don't know where I belong anymore. I feel like I am missing something but I can't figure out what it is. I somehow feel so empty."

"Oh Michaela, you had a terrible accident and you need time to heal, to get your strengths back," Elizabeth answered.

"That's just it mother, it is not because of what happened. Something changed in here," and Michaela touched her chest. "There is something I feel but I don't know if I can trust that. I know I like William but I don't know if that is enough anymore. I want to be as happy as you are with father. I just don't know if William could make me that happy."

"Listen to me Michaela. When I married your father, I barely knew him. Yes, we had seen each other a few times and I was very fond of your father at that time already. Even if I would have hated him, and lord knows that will never happen, I had to marry him anyway. It was an arranged marriage and we couldn't have done anything to prevent it. We didn't want to do that with our children and so far it proved us right. All my daughters are happily married to respectable men."

"But I see them, mother. They are not as happy as you and father are. I can see it every time I look at you both. Father has always a sparkle in his eyes when he looks at you. I don't see that in Williams eyes. He says he cares for me but he never says that he loves me."

"Love, Michaela? Love has nothing to do with marriage at the beginning. You will learn to love and trust your husband but it takes time. It is more important to find a suitable match but I can see you might have the wrong idea about marriage. Maybe we should have talked about it a long time ago."

-------

Michaela was shocked. She had never expected to be so far away from the truth as she had been with the marriage of her parents. Everything she had believed in was a lie. Love had never been the reason why their parents had married.

Indeed marriage had nothing to do with love. At least not when it comes to chose the husband. Love might come later in marriage but only with luck. No one from her sisters had ever mentioned they loved their husbands, nor did she ever heard the men saying anything sweet to her sisters. No, there was nothing at all and only now Michaela had realized that she was trying to live a dream. A dream that only existed in her fantasy, believing that she would find her true love. A dream where she could live a life full of happiness, joy and care. A dream, where she had found a man who wanted to convince her that in her heart, she would know that they were meant only for each other, that she was loved, wanted and needed. That if she would follow her heart, she will find the answers she was looking for. But that dream was falling apart the more she thought about her mother's words. Nothing like this could ever exists. Her mother was right. She was afraid to finally take the last step. Marriage. She would spend the rest of her live with William and this was for the best. They were fond of each other and everything else would come with time. She just needed to trust.

Turning around towards the window, Michaela wanted nothing else as to sleep right now. In the morning, William would take her home and then she would tell him how happy she was to finally become his wife. She wanted to apologize and make everything right between them again. Telling him, she would be honored to go to Colorado Springs with him, practicing side by side in their own clinic.

Closing her eyes, Michaela tried to relax. It had been an emotional day. But from this day forward, she promised herself to not fall back in to the weakness again. No, she was strong and she had made the right decision. That she was sure of. No silly dreams about a man she didn't even know, nor the pounding of her heart, when she looked him in his blue eyes, would stop her now. She would marry William Burke at the end of this week.

-----------

But Michaela hadn't realized that with today, she had allowed her heart to open. In one single moment a bond had been formed between them that would go beyond everything she knew.

She would discover, that only with him, she would ever feel complete.

-----------

On the way to the reservation, Sully had been a nervous wreck. He couldn't think straight. The imagine of Michaela, waiting for him, wouldn't go away. The closer they were getting, the more Sully's heart was pounding. It couldn't go fast enough for him and at one point, he took over the reins from Charlotte, looking over at her with an apologizing gaze and gave the horses another push.

Brian had still been sitting in the back and enjoyed the ride immensely, feeling the strong wind hissing across his face. Sometimes, when both grownups weren't paying attention, he would lean outside the wagon, trying to touch the flowers, shining colorful from the sunlight. But he would be caught every time again from his mother, giving him a stern look, pulling him back in.

Sully hadn't witnessed any of this. He was concentrating on the road in front of him and as soon as the reservation came into view his eyes roamed over the village, trying to find the only person that mattered the most to him. Michaela.

He spotted Cloud Dancing and immediately steered the wagon in his direction. The horses didn't even come to a full stop when Sully jumped down the buckboard.

"Is she here? Cloud Dancing, where is Michaela?" But Sully didn't wait for an answer. He passed Cloud Dancing and looked desperately around the village, trying to get a glimpse of Michaela. She had to be somewhere. "Michaela!" Sully yelled turning around and around. But no one was paying attention. No one answered.

"There she is Sully. Over there." Brian was standing in the back of the wagon, yelling to Sully and pointing towards the woman he remembered as the one he had seen earlier.

"Sully!" Brian tried again and this time Sully turned around towards Brian and immediately followed his gaze.

There she was. Standing with her back to him, Sully could only see her long, silky hair falling down her back. "Michaela!" Sully yelled. Nothing else existed anymore. He just saw Michaela right there in front of him. Almost running, Sully wanted nothing more then to take her in his waiting warms, feeling her body close to his, kissing her without reservation.

Suddenly, feeling that something was pulling him back, he stopped. It was Cloud Dancing's hand on his shoulder and his words that made him come back to reality. "Sully, don't. Look at her." Sully looked at her again and then his world came crashing down on him. Not believing his eyes, Sully blinked a few times but she was still there. How could he have been so blind?

"Catherine," he whispered. Sully had never been more disappointed in his entire life when he saw who was standing in front of him. Quickly, his excitement turned in to anger, building up more and more inside of him, ready to explode.

Sully took a deep breath, trying to calm his still raising heart. "What is she doing here?"

"I do not now, my brother. She only said she wanted to talk to you."

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Sully said, "Well, I don't. You know that I don't care for her." Just as Sully was about to leave, Catherine turned around and saw the two men staring at her. Putting on her best smile she slowly walked over to them. But Sully didn't want to have anything to do with Catherine anymore. "I ain't gonna talk to her."

Sully left Cloud dancing's side just in time before she had reached them. Seeing him leaving, she called out his name. "Sully!" But he didn't turn around and climbed back on the wagon, positioning himself next to Charlotte again. "We can go," Sully said quietly, looking back over to Catherine, giving her a last steely glance before they were out of sight.

She wanted to follow him, but Cloud Dancing hold her by the arm. "Catherine, do not do this. I made a mistake in telling his friends you wanted to talk to him. Let him go. He does not belong to you and you don't belong to this village anymore. Your lies had brought damage to us. Leave and go back to your people."

Catherine stood with wide open eyes in front of Cloud Dancing and felt her tears slowly falling down her cheeks. She had wanted a last chance, showing she had changed but as soon as she had seen Sully, she couldn't control herself. It was as if someone else had taken control over her and she forgot everything around her. Staring in his eyes, she knew what he was trying to tell her. Sully doesn't want you, as well as the tribe. But she didn't listen. She was still living in the past, thinking she could have Sully back. Although there had never been anything between them, she had pictured them together every time.

Sighing, she said, "I am sorry Cloud Dancing but I think you are wrong. He just had a bad day today. He…."

Raising his hand in front of her, Cloud Dancing interrupted her with an angry look. "Here, you will not find what you are looking for."

Catherine followed Cloud Dancing with sad eyes as he went over to greet his wife with a soft kiss. The only thing she ever wanted was to have someone in her life who would care for her, wanted her and loved her. Cloud Dancing wanted her to realize that there would be no hope. But she knew better. Here she will find what she was looking for. "He was not himself today. He will see that I have changed. I just have to be patient," Catherine whispered.

---------

Sully had been sitting quietly next to Charlotte. Only just once in a while he gave her directions where he wanted her to go.

He was still angry with himself to have almost lost control again when he saw Catherine. He had known her for a very brief time only. Shortly after Abigail had died, she had come to the village looking for comfort and help. Dog soldiers had killed her entire family. Since both of them were still grieving over losing their loved ones, she had believed she would find comfort in Sully's arms. He had never done anything to give her hope having anything more then friendship. Only one time had they fallen asleep in his tipi after they had talked almost the entire night and had laid closely next to each other on the buffalo fur. There had been nothing else. But she had come up with different stories and lies to keep Sully with her. Even though nothing had helped and no one had believed her, it had created a rift among the people for different reasons.

Sighing, Sully just wanted to forget her. He hoped, that Cloud Dancing had made it clear to Catherine that she was not welcomed any more and that she should never come back to the Cheyenne people or him.

Charlotte had been quiet as well. She had known Sully for a long time now but never had she seen him quite like this before. Today, his eyes had a fire in them that she hadn't seen for a long time. As a matter of fact, she had never noticed them shining and sparkling whenever he had looked at Abigail. It had been more of a sweet smile that young couples would show to each other after they had become husband and wife. But today, they had been full of passion, excitement and most of all they had shown pure love.

Looking over at Sully, she noticed him staring in to the distance, looking at nothing in particular. His chest was still raising and falling a little to fast but she saw he was trying to control his breathing.

Finally, she couldn't hide her curiosity anymore and approached the subject. Smiling, she asked, "who is Michaela?"

Immediately she noticed his breathing quickened again, his lips forming a little smile, his eyes having that same fire in them as before. "She is the woman I want to spent the rest of my life with," seeing that they have finally reached the spot, he added, "we're here. This is the place."

A few moments later, all three of them were sitting on the blanket, with Brian on Sully's lap, leaning against his chest and Charlotte beside him.

Sully was the first one to break the silence again and whispered, "this is where I want to build a house."

"It's a beautiful place, Sully. So peaceful," Charlotte answered while her eyes took in the beauty of her surroundings. "Michaela is a lucky woman, you know?" Glancing back at Sully, she detected a sadness in his eyes. "Won't you finally tell me what's going through you mind? Something is bothering you. I've never seen you like this Sully."

Sighing, Sully thought about a way of explaining what had made him so different. "I am waiting for my dreams turn in to something real, something I can believe in. At first I didn't understand. I couldn't see it until I finally did let go of the past, gave in to love again and suddenly all my bitterness burned in that instant. I can't explain it Charlotte."

"Sounds pretty serious to me. How did you meet her?" Charlotte asked, not prepared for what would come next.

Smiling again, Sully answered. "In my dreams. I actually have never met her face to face. I know she is out there and tries to figure out if she can trust something that is not real, something that only exists in our hearts and minds. Somehow we have a strong connection to each other no one can explain."

Charlotte didn't know what to say. She knew she should believe Sully but it was difficult. "So, and you believe all this? I am sorry Sully. I just can't imagine something like that could ever exist."

"Believe me Charlotte." Looking down at Brian, Sully saw that the little boy had fallen asleep in his arms. Whispering, he continued. "I was dead Charlotte. Loren had found me in a very bad shape. I had lost the connection to her. I was devastated. I gave up on living. But Cloud Dancing and Michaela helped me to come back to life. I know that this is real and I'll do what ever it takes to make her see that we belong together."

"How Sully? How is this possible?"

"I don't know Charlotte. One night I just had a dream about her and then somehow we ended up having that strong connection to each other and then all of a sudden I had lost it. I had felt so empty inside of me. I was even more lost now then when Abigail had died. I've never felt anything like this Charlotte. It is like having finally found the other half of your soul. I know without her I will never find peace again, never be complete." Sighing, Sully added, "I just hope she feels the same way. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost the connection again. But something feels different inside. Cloud Dancing said that something stands between us. I hope I can make her see what she means to me, Charlotte. Every night I pray that she won't leave me again."

Brian was moving in Sully's arms and a moment later his eyes flew open. Stretching, he asked, "what are you talking about?"

Letting Brian get up from his lap, Sully answered, "dreams, Brian."

Excitedly, Brian answered, "oh I just had a dream standing in Mr. Brays store in front of all the candy I like and I couldn't decide which one I wanted," Brian giggled. "There were so many, some I didn't even see before."

"You are always thinking about candy, don't you young man? And I think it's time for us to go back to town. We have been gone long enough now."

"Oh Ma, really? Can't we stay a little longer? Please?" Sighing, he added, "I was sleeping the whole time."

Charlotte rose and ruffled her sons hair. "That is why you shouldn't eat too many candies. Having a stomachache makes you miserable, you can't go to sleep at night and then you sleep during the day. You can see Sully another time. He needs to be alone right now," looking at Sully whilst speaking the last words.

"Thank you Charlotte for listening."

"Anytime Sully. I have a feeling you won't dream that long anymore. Before you know it, you'll we be living in that house you want to build. You never know Sully, this young man's dream is coming to life sooner then he expected, because I need to do grocery shopping." Charlotte chuckled. Squeezing his shoulder slightly she whispered, "don't give up Sully."

"I won't." Tickling Brian, Sully said, "listen more to your Ma, Brian. She is a very wise lady. I promise to come to town soon and then we can go fishing again, ok?"

Brian, still trying to breathe, laughed. "I try, Sully. But she makes me mad sometimes cause I can't have all the candy I…" but before he could continue, Charlotte had covered his mouth with her hand and pulled him towards her chest. "He is going to turn in to a candy if I don't stop him," Charlotte chuckled. "See you Sully," with that she turned around and pulled Brian with her.

Brian, still laughing, tried to pull her hand away. "Ma, I can't say good bye to Sully when you have your hand over my mouth." Turning, Brian yelled back at Sully, waving with his free arm. "Bye Sully."

"Bye Brian."

Sully watched them disappear and thanked the spirits to have such great friends in his life.

-----------

Laying under the sunset sky, with his arms crossed behind his head, Sully thought about Charlotte's question again. How was this possible? He had found her and she had found him in their darkest times. His soul had easily reached for hers. Deep down in his heart he knew they had formed a bond that would last a lifetime. The spirits had giving him a second chance in finding his true love. Why he deserved this, Sully had no idea. He only knew that he will never jeopardize her love again.

Breathing peacefully, Sully closed his eyes, wishing for the dreams to come again. Only then, he had the chance to be with her, to smell her sweet scent, to feel her soft skin under his touch trembling from desire and to see her eyes sparkling with love back at him, warming his heart all over again…

---------------

"Why did you even come here."

"Why did I come?

"Yes, why?

"Because…"

"Because…?"

"Because I love you!".............

Yes I know.....it's still a mess...*sigh*....But thanks for reading anyway...*grins*