A/N: Thank you to everyone who's still reading this, and a million and one thanks to those who have reviewed!

This chapter's a little dark, sorry about that :/

Roderich dragged himself downstairs at ten o'clock in the morning. He still felt pretty exhausted from his concert the night before, but he knew staying in bed all day would do him no good. And besides, he needed caffeine.

He walked into the kitchen and turned the kettle on to make himself some coffee. He was wondering what to do with his day – bake a cake, perhaps? – when he heard loud yawning behind him. Elisaveta would have already left for work, so it wouldn't be her, so who on Earth was it?

He spun around. Oh. "Gilbert, what are you still doing here?"

Gilbert yawned again and stretched, "Mornin' to you too," he said before pulling himself up so that he was sitting on the kitchen counter.

Roderich gasped, "Get down from there, you fool!"

Gilbert ignored him and leaned over to the sink to pour himself a glass of water. Roderich glared at him, noticing for the first time how dreadful he looked. His skin was sallow, the clothes he wore seemed to hang off him and the mischievous gleam in his eyes from his childhood had long since faded. Roderich frowned, "Last night," he started, "You were screaming…what was that about?"

Gilbert shrugged and put his glass down, "Probably just a nightmare."

Roderich rolled his eyes, "I got that, what about?"

"Nothing."

Roderich scowled, "Why do you keep saying that? Is everything just 'nothing' to you? Because by the looks of things, I certainly was; you just abandoned me as soon as a more attractive guy came along, I bet it was that guy from the café, wasn't it? Or was he 'nothing' to you too? I bet you abandoned him as soon as - Ah!"

His cheek felt sore where Gilbert had just hit him. Gilbert, who was now fuming, "Shut up!" He yelled, "Just shut up! You have no idea what you're talking about!"

They stood staring at each other for a second, then Roderich slowly lifted his hand to his face, "You hit me." He stated bluntly, slightly shocked. Gilbert's face suddenly paled and his eyes went wide. He stumbled backwards, "Oh God, I'm sorry," he banged into the corner of the kitchen, "I'm sorry," he repeated, falling down onto the floor and clutching his head with both hands, "I'm turning into him," he whimpered, "I'm turning into a monster."

Roderich was still in shock, and his hand hadn't moved from the side of his face. Gilbert looked up at him and started trying to scramble off the floor, "I should leave," he muttered as he headed towards the door.

Roderich, who had finally gotten over his slight shock, reached out and grabbed Gilbert's arm, "Wait!"

Gilbert screamed and pulled his arm away; he stared at Roderich, terrified.

Roderich felt a small pain tugging at his chest as looked at Gilbert, who was so scared, so vulnerable. He sighed and asked quietly, "Who are you turning into, Gilbert?"

"Ivan," he muttered, and immediately looked like he wished he hadn't.

Roderich thought for a second, he was sure he recognised the name from somewhere…then it hit him. "The man from the café?" He asked.

Gilbert looked, if possible, even more terrified, but he said nothing. In all honesty, though, his silence was as good as a confession.

Roderich sighed and walked back over to the kettle; he still hadn't had his morning coffee. "Who is he?" He asked Gilbert, who was glancing at the door as if he was wondering whether to leave or not.

After a couple of seconds, he seemed to regain his composure slightly and snarled, "Why the hell should I tell you?"

Roderich sighed again, becoming rather frustrated, "Because, Gilbert, you left me – and by the looks of things a lot of other people – for eight years without an explanation, I think I deserve to know who you left me for at least."

A look of anger crossed Gilbert's face, "Fine, you want to know why I left? You really want to fucking know?"

Roderich was a little wary that Gilbert was becoming angry; he didn't exactly want to be hit again. He simply nodded.

Gilbert closed his eyes and muttered something; Roderich thought he might be counting, trying to calm himself down. He pulled himself back onto the counter, but less cockily this time and Roderich didn't have the heart to shout at him again.

There was silence. Then, "Do you remember when we were fourteen, and I only got a pass on my violin exam, and you got all miffed because you expected me to get a distinction?"

Roderich gave him an incredulous look, "Is this relevant?"

Gilbert swallowed and nodded, "Just bear with me."

"Fine, yes I remember. You told me you were just having a bad day."

Gilbert nodded, "Yeah, well that was partly true." He looked down at his lap and picked at an imaginary piece of dirt on his trousers, "The day before the exam, something happened," his face twisted slightly, "Francis and Antonio wanted to go down the park to play football after school, and I was planning to join them, but I'd left my kit in the changing rooms. I went back into the school to get it, I picked it up, about to leave, when I heard the changing room door open," his lip trembled slightly, "I didn't really think anything of it, I thought maybe it was just another student who had forgotten their kit or something, but I turned around and he was there. Ivan."

Roderich was slightly confused, "Why was he at your school?"

Gilbert looked up, a small look of surprise on his face; it looked like he had almost forgotten Roderich was there. "He…he'd been following me for a while," he grimaced, "It was my own damn fault I guess, ever since a football match earlier in the year."

Roderich was starting to feel uncomfortable; this wasn't quite what he had been expecting, but he didn't say anything, he needed to know what else Gilbert had to say, whether he liked it or not.

Gilbert looked out the window and his voice dropped in volume considerably, "I didn't know what to do," he said shakily, "I know I should have run, but he has this control over me, I can't explain it, but I just," his voice shook more, "I couldn't move. He was talking to me, I can't remember what he said now, I try to block it out, but then he came closer and I…I didn't…I couldn't…" He was stumbling over his words, seemingly unsure of exactly what to say, Roderich was staring, transfixed, clutching the mug of coffee in his hands.

Gilbert breathed deeply, and finally looked straight at Roderich, "He raped me," he managed to choke out.

Roderich heard his coffee mug smash on the floor, and saw Gilbert wince slightly. He felt a feeling of guilt grow inside of him, had he seriously accused Gilbert of abandoning him for this man? He stared in horror at Gilbert, "Why didn't you say anything at the time?"

Gilbert shook his head, "I was too scared, I thought he might hear me… I thought he might do it again," he shuddered and drew his arms across his chest, hugging himself.

There was a long silence, broken only by Gilbert's occasional sobs, which he seemed to be trying to hold back. Roderich walked cautiously closer to him, "Gilbert," he said slowly, feeling his own voice shaking slightly, "Is Ivan," he spat his name in disgust, "The reason you've been gone for eight years?"

Gilbert looked terrified, and Roderich didn't think he was going to say anything. He sighed and leaned down to floor to start picking up the remnants of his mug when he heard a very faint, "Yes."

He stood up straight and looked at Gilbert, who had started talking again, "I've been living with him, I never left his fucking house, not once, I was just trapped there," his speech was speeding up and he looked slightly hysterical, he wasn't holding back his sobs anymore either, "You couldn't understand what it was like, you and your perfect fucking little life," Roderich felt a small stab in his chest, "I spent every fucking day living , in fact screw that, existing as Ivan's toy," his face twisted again, "As his plaything. When he was angry, he would hit me, when he had had a bad day, he would hit me, when he was sad, he would hit me," Gilbert was breathing very heavily by this point, "And when he was in any other mood, he would touch me."

Roderich felt sick, he didn't want to hear anymore, but Gilbert carried on talking, "Do you know what that's like?" He asked desperately, but he didn't wait for an answer, "I can't get rid of him," he sobbed, "Everywhere on my body, I can feel where he touched me; I can feel him inside of me. And I hate it, I want to get rid of it, but no matter how hard I fucking try, I still feel him, I still feel unclean."

Roderich was pretty sure he was about to throw up, he really wanted Gilbert to stop, but at the same time, it looked like Gilbert had been bottling all of this up, he needed to get it out, so he simply asked, "Why didn't you run away sooner?" He was surprised at how choked his voice sounded, "Why did you wait eight years to get away?"

Gilbert glanced out the window again, "I couldn't. Ivan wouldn't let me leave, he said if I left, or if I tried to kill myself…he said he would hurt Ludwig," he went silent for a moment, "Or he would hurt you."

Roderich was pretty sure his stomach had just sunk about a mile. One thought plagued his mind, "This is my fault." He said.

Gilbert's head snapped back to him, "Don't say shit like that, it wasn't your fault, nor was it Ludwig's, it was mine own stupid fault." He sounded slightly angry now, but tears were still falling down his face.

Roderich frowned, "You're right, it's not my fault, but it's not yours either, it's Ivan's, it's that sick man's fault you're like this." He knew he sounded bitter, angry, but he didn't care. If Ivan was there right now, he was pretty sure he would smash his head into his piano.

He walked tentatively closer to Gilbert until he was right in front of him, slowly lifting his arm, "Do you mind if I touch you?"

Gilbert's face paled slightly, but he shook his head sharply. Roderich reached his hand forward and wiped the tears from Gilberts face before resting his hand on his cheek. Gilbert sat rigidly for a second, but then leant into his touch.

Roderich smiled slightly at him, "I won't hurt you, I promise."

Gilbert nodded, but he didn't really look like he believed him. How could he, after years of being treated like he wasn't even human?

Roderich sighed softly and tugged slightly on Gilbert's hand, signalling for him to get down of the kitchen counter. He slid down so that was standing and Roderich couldn't help noticing that without his attitude, he didn't seem quite as tall. Gilbert had always been the older one; the one Roderich looked up to when they were younger, despite there being an age difference of just a few months. But now, it seemed the tables had turned, Gilbert didn't really seem any older than when Roderich had last seen him as an eighteen year old boy, so young and vulnerable. But at the same time, he seemed to have aged a hundred years, no longer innocent and mischievous as he had once been.

He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a hug, Gilbert started to freak out but Roderich whispered "I promised I wouldn't hurt you, remember?"

Gilbert didn't pull away, but he was extremely tense, so Roderich let go of him and looked at the floor, "I should clean that up," he sighed, "Go sit in the lounge…I'll make you a drink, and you can tell me more if you need to…but if you don't want to that's fine too." He was trying to sound calm, composed, he had to keep his head on so that he could be the shoulder that Gilbert so obviously needed, but as soon as Gilbert had walked out the room, he leant down to pick up the pieces of the shattered mug again, and burst into tears.

Gilbert fell down on the sofa and pulled his knees to his chest, staring blankly forward in shock. He had seriously just told someone about Ivan, and although it made him sick to his stomach to even think about him, getting all of that off his chest, letting someone else carry that burden with him. That felt good.

Now that he had started telling him about it, he wanted to tell him everything, every little detail about his time at Ivan's, but Roderich had looked stricken at what he had heard, he doubted he could deal with much more.

After a short wait, Roderich walked in with two steaming mugs. He handed one to Gilbert and silently sat down next to him. Gilbert sipped the drink; damn he loved coffee. He felt Roderich looking at him and squirmed slightly, "What?"

Roderich shook his head, closed his eyes momentarily, then said, "Sorry."

"I said it's not your fault, you don't need to be sorry."

He shook his head again, "No, I'm sorry for assuming you left me for him of your own volition, for getting mad at you."

Gilbert nodded and carried on drinking.

Roderich ran his finger around the rim of his mug before asking, "So, that screaming last night…that was about him?"

Gilbert simply nodded again; he didn't really know what else to say about it.

Roderich frowned, "When you woke up…you were alright for a second, but then you freaked out again."

Gilbert sighed; he had hoped Roderich hadn't noticed that, "It's your eyes," he admitted, "They're the same colour as Ivan's."

Roderich winced. There was silence again for a small while, before Roderich said, sounding slightly hurt, "You don't like to talk about this do you?"

Gilbert felt a little lost, "I don't know," he admitted, "It's good to finally tell someone I guess, it means I have someone to talk to… but it makes it more real too," he closed his eyes, "Too real."

Roderich nodded, "But you can't just keep it from people forever."

"Says who?" Gilbert retorted, but he didn't sound particularly angry.

Roderich sighed, "Your friends don't want to hurt you, you fool, they just want to help."

"I don't need their help." Gilbert said, but he knew he was lying; he wanted them to understand, he wanted help, but he was scared that they would think he was weak, and he was terrified that they would take advantage of that.

Roderich sighed again, "Do your family even know?"

Gilbert looked down at his coffee and shook his head, "I couldn't tell my dad," he choked, "I'd upset him too much, for once in my life, I wanna not disappoint him."

"What about your brother?"

Gilbert shook his head, "He doesn't need to know." In all honesty, he didn't want to tell his little brother because he was afraid that Ludwig would see him as weak too, he was pretty confident he wouldn't try to hurt him, but he sort of wanted Ludwig to look up to him. After the episode in his house a little while ago though, he doubted that was the case. Besides, he was still so used to Ludwig being his kid brother, telling him that he was raped seemed a seriously inappropriate thing to tell a child.

He sipped his coffee again, but now he just felt sick. He put it down and looked at Roderich, "Please don't tell anyone what I've told you…shit, I shouldn't even have told you." He ran his hands through his hair, trying to block all thoughts of Ivan from his mind, but it was failing miserably. "I don't know what to do," he admitted.

Roderich looked cluelessly at him, "About what?"

Gilbert sobbed slightly, "Everything. I don't know how to forget what happened, I don't know how to trust people anymore, I don't even know how to fucking sleep without thinking about Ivan."

Roderich smiled sadly at him, "Sorry, Gilbert," he said, "I don't really know what you can do either."

Gilbert pulled his legs closer to him and squirmed slightly. Sitting next to Roderich seemed weird now, now that he knew everything, he felt to open, but then he remembered something, "There is one other person who knows." He said.

Roderich looked at him curiously, "Who?"

"Elisaveta's friend, Toris."

Roderich looked surprised and slightly offended, "Why on Earth does he know?"

Gilbert smiled bitterly, "Because he was my doctor whilst I was at Ivan's…but come to think of it, I haven't actually seen him recently…"

They sat in silence again for a short while before Gilbert couldn't bear it anymore, "I let him do it," he said quietly.

Roderich looked at him quizzically, "Pardon?"

"Every time he hurt me, I just let him do it; I never fought back…why did I never fucking fight back?"

Roderich's face fell slightly and Gilbert immediately felt guilty for saying that. He knew why he never fought back; it was so that Ludwig and Roderich would be safe, and Roderich must have guessed that. "Sorry," Gilbert quickly muttered, "I didn't mean that."

They fell into silence again, and Gilbert wished he could say something, but all he honestly wanted to do was cry, and hope all the pain would go away, but he had made himself look pitiful enough in front of Roderich. He stood up.

Roderich looked up, surprised, "Where are you going?" He asked.

"Bathroom," Gilbert said quickly as he hurried out of the room.

Roderich looked at the place where Gilbert had just been sitting, then at the half-empty coffee mug sitting next to the sofa. He picked it up, his hand shaking slightly and put it into the kitchen. He waited a few minutes for Gilbert to come back downstairs, but when he didn't, he cautiously ascended the stairs.

He walked over to the bathroom and cautiously knocked, "Gilbert, are you okay?" He knew it was a bit of a stupid question considering the circumstances, so he wasn't surprised when there was no answer.

He could hear running water and when he nudged the door slightly, he was surprised to find it open. He stepped inside and saw Gilbert immediately, curled up, naked under the shower, he looked like he was crying.

Roderich walked warily over to him and sunk down on the floor next to him, not caring if he got soaked. Gilbert looked up, a mortified look on his face. "I won't hurt you," Roderich repeated, hoping Gilbert would believe him.

Gilbert simply stared at him for a few seconds, then buried his face into his shoulder and continued crying.

Roderich was pretty sure at that moment that there was nothing he wouldn't do to get Gilbert back to how he was before Ivan came into his life.

Elisaveta frowned as she walked up the driveway of the school she taught at, she wasn't supposed to be on bus duty today, but the geography teacher was off ill and she had been asked to cover.

She stood just outside the gates and surveyed the students getting onto their buses or into their parent's or older sibling's cars. Occasionally, she would have to tell a student off for harassing the younger students or throwing stuff around, but mostly it was rather uneventful.

Once all the school buses had left, only a couple of students remained behind and her eye was caught by one in particular. He was a quiet young boy, she couldn't even remember what his name was, but he always wore a fez to school and didn't interact much with the other students. He looked a little worried, and she was about to go up to him and ask him if he was alright when his face lit up and he called, "Sadiq!"

Elisaveta felt her mouth run dry and her head snapped to the car that had just pulled up. Sadiq was sitting at the wheel, smiling at his little brother as he ran over to the car. Next to him was someone she recognised, but couldn't quite place a name to…it began with G or something.

Without really knowing what she was doing, she walked over to the car. Sadiq saw her out of the corner of his eye and looked over, his expression froze as he realised who it was.

She smiled slightly at him, getting ready to leg it if she needed to. Sadiq gave her a blank stare back and finally said, "Hungary, dude…girl, even, didn't expect to see you here."

She was surprised he hadn't tried to attack her or anything; she supposed it was a good start though, "Likewise," she said, "How's life?"

He shrugged, "Pretty good I suppose, I cut off all ties to the gang a couple of years ago, to look after my little brother." He indicated to the boy who was now talking to the man in the passenger seat. The man occasionally smiled and nodded at the things he said, but he didn't really say anything.

She grinned, "He's cute, and he's a good student." She glanced again at the man in the passenger seat, "You haven't cut off all ties to the gang by the looks of things."

Sadiq blushed slightly and the man looked at her, "The Ottomans is completely dead," he said, "I just live with Sadiq."

"Gupta," the boy in the back of the car moaned, "Were you listening to a thing I said?"

Gupta! That was his name. She smiled slyly, and looked at Sadiq, "You're gay?"

He frowned, "What of it?"

Her smile widened, "Nothing, but you and Gupta make a sweet couple."

Sadiq raised his eyebrows at her, or she thought he did, the mask made it hard to tell. "I thought you'd hate me," he admitted.

She shrugged, "I did, but there's no point holding a grudge forever," she glanced at her watch, "I'd better be getting home anyway," she smiled, waggling her left hand at him, "I'm engaged now, and I think my fiancé'll be wondering where I am. But see you around, yeah?"

He nodded, "Sure, and keep an eye out for Mo at school."

She nodded too, "See you!" She stepped away from the car and waved at her old friend as he drove away.

She got into her car in high spirits; that was two old friends she had bumped into within the last month or so, she certainly hadn't been expecting that.

She drove home and wasn't surprised to see Roderich's car still parked outside the drive. He always said he had loads to do when he had free days, but ended up just making cakes and playing music all day long. She giggled slightly as she imagined his face, insisting that he had done lots of important work.

When she opened the front door, Elisaveta was surprised at how quiet it was, but when she listened a little more closely, she thought she heard running water. She headed upstairs, "Roderich!" She called, "Are you in the shower?"

There was no reply. By the time she got upstairs, she could hear the water clearly, but the door was wide open. Frowning, she walked towards it and headed inside.

Gilbert was still here, she hadn't expected that. Nor had she expected him to be crying into Roderich's shoulder. She walked over. "You idiots," she said softly, turning off the water, which for some reason was freezing cold, "You'll catch a cold if you sit here for too long."

Roderich looked up at her, he hadn't even taken his glasses off and he looked rather lost. She knelt down next to him and kissed him softly on the forehead, "What's wrong?" She asked quietly.

Roderich's eyes flickered to Gilbert. She looked at him and felt her blood run cold. He was covered in scars and bruises on his legs and torso, they looked old, so she was confident nothing had happened whilst she had been out. She looked at Roderich and mouthed 'What happened?'

Roderich shook his head, seemingly unable to speak. The only sound in the room was Gilbert sobbing against Roderich's shoulder. Elisaveta sighed and stood up, "Come on, I'll make us some food," she said before running from the room, not daring to let her mind think about how Gilbert had acquired those wounds.

'Mo' is TRNC by the way~ I love TRNC X3

Anyway, sorry if that was kind of awful, but I found it really hard to write. Please do review though! Reviews motivate me to write more~