a/n: Quick thank you for all the follows, fav and reviews. Special thanks to my Beta, RavenclawPianist!

Lives Affected

"Eloise Joanna Jones"

It feels like just yesterday he was dropping her off the first time. He remembers the way she had whimpered and whined, saying 'No' and "I want you, please.' When he let the teacher take her from his arms. And even the soothing sound of Miss Nova's voice couldn't stop him from crying in the car before leaving the parking lot.

They've been through a lot, and now she's walking across the make-shift stage in a miniature, navy cap and gown that brings out the brilliant blue of her eyes.

Some days he thinks she's five going on fifteen, other days he looks at her and sees the small child who had trouble making it through the day without crying in his arms.

Of course he's crying again now, but for a completely different reason.

-/-

"Eloise Joanna Jones." The voice of her preschool director sounds off through the video they're showing Anna over skype.

"And that's me walking across the stage in my hat and uhm, and robe." Ellie tells her very proudly "And I get to hold that paper that says my name and that I know my ABC's and colors and numbers. We have pictures of the treats at the party after too."

"I'm so proud of you Ellie Jo!" Anna praises. "You're so smart and you look so beautiful."

"Thank you. My Emma did my hair. Oh, and uhm we're gonna tell you something else when Emma comes back from the bathroom." Ellie whispers super 'secretively' and Killian battles against his own excitement.

"Oh I can't wait." Anna goes along with the excitement. A few seconds pass before the bathroom door opens and Emma comes out a little flustered looking.

"Are you alright, Love?" he calls from behind Ellie. She nods quickly, taking measured steps to the computer and sitting in the chair he arranged for her.

"Hi." She breathes "It's nice to see you again." The first time was hardly a first time, she stayed long enough to say the same line without the 'again' before she suddenly had the urge to vomit. It seems as if she gets nauseas every time they mention her skyping with Anna.

"Hi! Are you alright?"

"Great, how are you?" She replies with such a shaky tone, he's sure Anna will think it's a bad connection, not a bad case of nerves.

"Can't complain, just got to watch my Ellie Jo graduate from pre-school!" And Ellie nods, still so proud of her own accomplishment. He's thankful she carries this confidence, will do anything to protect it because it's absolute gold for a little girl to have. "Ellie says there's something secret to tell me?"

"Oh…" Emma glances to Killian with fear just resonating off of her in bounds. "Uhm…why don't you…"

"Love?"

"I…" she's swallowing air by the 'pound' so to speak. He's never seen her panic quite like this and he's afraid if she's sharing oxygen with the baby, she's not getting very much herself.

"We're having a baby sister!" Ellie blurts out. "Well, I am, they're having a uhm…daughter? It's a girl."

"What's a girl?" Anna's eyes glow brightly through the screen. She doesn't look like her enthusiastic self. "I thought you were getting a dog not a… Oh my…"

"You're not escited?" Ellie questions a little harshly. "Why not?"

"Ellie, do you…I…I'd really like to talk to Uncle Kilo without you hearing, do you think you could make that happen for a second or two?" Ellie turns to him with blatant disgust showing on her face.

"Why is she not escited?" Maybe he looks a little disgusted himself, baffled at the very least because Anna gets excited over peculiar shaped clouds. He tugs his eyes from the monitor just in time for Emma's voice to stop him from speaking.

"Ya know what, Bug, we have to get you to ballet, so why don't you say bye to your Aunnie Anna, and we get you in your leotard?" Emma suggests, rising from the chair rather quickly and moving out of Killian's grasp when he reaches for her.

"Okay." Ellie grumbles before turning back to the monitor." Bye Aunnie Anna." She says with little devotion as she's sliding from his lap and marching after Emma to her bedroom.

"Darling, I'll be right there, just a moment." He calls out but Ellie is barreling after Emma's fleeting figure and he finds himself speaking to no one. So he turns his attentions back to the screen. "Speak quickly." He warns the woman he can't seem to recognize the longer he goes without seeing her in person.

"Killian, she's pregnant? And you're referring to the baby as Ellie's sister?"

"You mean the same way I refer to you as my sister?" Somehow he never thought Anna would be the naysayer in all of this. Somehow he thought he knew her better. "You sound awfully condescending for someone who gave up their right to form opinions about my life."

"I didn't give up anything, and I'm the least condescending person you know, what are you saying?"

"What are you saying? And say it quickly Anna!"

"I don't want Ellie to be confused."

"Oh, horse shit. If you'd like to know what's confusing her, it starts with the reality that her aunt hasn't seen her in over a year and a half. If it weren't for these skype dates, she wouldn't know what you look like."

"You're just the same, always turning any criticism around on the opposing party. Grow up and listen to what I'm saying. You're having a child with a new girlfriend, fine, apparently protection isn't a concept you're familiar with since your last girlfriend had already been through menopause but—"

"I'm hanging up."

"Don't hang up." Anna groans. "Listen, if Elsa were here—"

"Elsa is just as present as you are. Let's be clear. You don't get to throw stones from across the pond. You're not that great a shot, dear."

"God, will you give it a break, I get it, I'm far. You're mad. Okay, I'm sorry I'm not in Boston, I'm coming and when I get there, we'll talk about it. Until then, I'll just pretend it's the best news I ever heard."

"I really couldn't give a shit. I gather them up to tell you this and you use it as another opportunity to take a piss at me about Milah and upset my current girlfriend. You're a class act, you know that?" Killian answers honestly, his blood boiling. "If you're so upset with me, don't come." He hangs up then and suddenly he's fifteen waiting for Liam to tear into him for making Anna cry. Only Liam never shows up.

That's the coldest of realities, because Liam never ever shows up anymore and nothing is the way it was when they were here. Liam isn't going to come to Anna's rescue and Elsa isn't going to make them sit on the couch and hold hands until they have something nice to say about each other. There's no one to moderate or mediate and everything that used to be between them died the day they buried Liam and Elsa.

-/-

She hasn't taken Ellie to ballet for a few months, honestly and she only saw one of the mother's at Ellie's Pre-K graduation last week so she's just waiting for the shit storm.

She's used to being an outcast. She was the orphan in middle school, orphan turned outcast. Freak-turned-slut in high school and of course she never had to worry about cliques at a collegian level because she never went. She did get ignored and treated as damaged goods in prison though. After that she stopped involving herself in groups altogether.

This group was the worst she's ever encountered, because they smiled as they spewed their hateful, back-handed comments, and she had someone needing her to stick it out and stay civil.

Ellie kissed the belly before scampering inside. To be honest, she might as well had drawn an arrow on the belly and added some flashy light show because everyone was just too intrigued the minute class began.

"How far along are you?" One mother asks, the kinder one, the youngest one with a daughter a little younger than Ellie and a baby boy in her lap.

"Eighteen weeks tomorrow." She keeps her focus on the window that allows the mother's to peer in on the class.

"How exciting! Do you know what you're having?" Another mom asks, the oldest one, decorated in furs and jewelry. The one she hates the most.

"Yeah." She keeps it short, not exactly hiding the gender from anyone but who the hell are these people to need to know that?

"You're not very articulate with answers now are you?" She chuckles, turning to get her gang of gaggling geese to do the same. The younger mother doesn't but the rest join in. "You don't seem excited at all…"

She knows the wretched hag is just trying to get a rise out of her. God help her she wants to give her the backlash she's begging for but she's here for Ellie and it's better she just fit the fucking role Killian would like her to.

"I'm sorry, just tired. We're having another girl." She answers softly, the smile forming is the most exhausting thing of the whole experience.

"Another?" It's that third mother, the one with dragon-lady finger nails and a snarky little smirk. "Oh, you're not claiming Eloise as yours are you?" And maybe it's remembering the look on Anna's face only an hour ago, but it breaks her.

"Excuse me?" She turns too quickly, anger rattling against her vocal chords.

"Seems a bit…mal-mannered, no?"

"Oh god." Emma laughs to herself to keep from crying. "Do you do anything worthwhile, or all of your entertainment comes from burying yourself in someone else's business?"

"We care about Killian and Eloise, is all." The older bitch expresses with a fake fucking hand falling against her chest like it's coming from her heart. Everyone knows she's hollow as hell.

"Did I hear my name?" Of course Killian appears when she's two seconds from firing off at these women, of course he comes in and she looks like the one who can't play nice. He's holding a huge pink box and smiling widely.

It's a sudden cluster of 'Oh Killian's and 'Hi, how are you' and even a 'You look so handsome in that navy!' She feels more nauseas than she's been her whole pregnancy.

"Hi ladies. Lovely to see you all." He sets the pink box on an empty chair and angles it toward the risers. "Emma and I bought pink cupcakes to announce our blissful addition."

And he is perfect and of course these awful women love him, but he doesn't realize he's only solidifying how much they know she's not worthy of him. She's tempted to run out and cry in her car but sucks it up long enough for him to sit beside her, his arm wrapping around her shoulder as the women move to pick out cupcakes.

"Are these glutton-free?" one of the quieter ones asks. He nods and winks before turning his face to Emma's to reveal the truth. He dramatically rolls his eyes where only she can see, and she fakes a laughing grin.

"Sorry I was late, my love." He pecks her lips softly, brushing his hand through her hair as he does. "I take it you already shared the news?"

"We more so had to drag it out of her. That lady of yours, she's a steel trap." They all have the nerve to laugh again.

"Ah, that's part of the reason my love runs so deep." He laughs back in their direction, more pompous than she's ever witnessed. "My Swan isn't the gossiping type."

And now he really is a knight, now she catches on. He's the 'kill-em with kindness type' and it registers.

"There's nothing Killian hates more than a girl who doesn't know how to mind her business." Emma plays along, grinning obnoxiously wide and batting her lashes like they're playing roles in a sitcom. "But of course, we all know most men do."

"Too right lass." Killian continue, crossing an elegant leg over his knee. "In fact, I believe I had a board meeting with almost everyone's husband here, and after, we were discussing just that. He takes a moment to look around the room. "Oh, Mrs. Stefan, your husband was completely obliterated by the idea of a grown, established woman being caught up in the lives of someone half their age. Of course we weren't discussing you…just women in general. He knows you're much too civilized. Much like you, Mrs. De Villa. In fact, I couldn't imagine a room of such wonderful women being that way."

The looks on each individual face were priceless and so satisfying, the thought of tears were only induced by laughter now. One by one they shut their mouths or stuffed them with whatever remaining cupcake they had in their hands.

"Anyhow, if you had any other questions about my relationship with Emma, or our children, I'd be happy to answer. I quite enjoy bragging about the amazing state our family is in."

"Congratulations, again." The youngest one replies with a humble smile.

"Thank you, Rory. I've already asked Philip a few questions about labor."

"Well, that's brilliant, he passed out halfway through. He has the most impeccable timing, he is always injured, ill, or unconscious during important moments in our life."

They share a laugh that Emma finally feels good about joining in on, the other women completely silent the rest of the practice.

And when practice gets out, Ellie comes barreling toward them, noticing the cupcakes after she's settled in Killian's lap. "Are those 'cause my baby sister?"

"How'd you guess?" Emma asks, wondering if Killian actually planned on bringing these the whole time.

"Me and Uncle Kilo talked about it." Ellie confirms.

"Killian Jones!" Ella makes her way across the mother's room as the rest of them shuffle out with their kids. "Get over here!" And he obliges as soon as Ellie shifts to Emma's lap, gently running her hand over the belly.

"Ella" Killian hugs her before motioning to the cupcakes.

"As if I needed a box of bright pink cupcakes to let me know it was a girl, Ellie's been blabbering between every plié and piqué."

"Nuh uh, Miss Ella, I only said it once."

"Once a minute." Ella winks back at Eloise before focusing back on Killian. "Anyhow, now my whole class is excited for the baby and we could barely get through a position without someone asking more questions. Are you two holding a press conference for these girls? You're practically Prince William in their eyes so you better come up with something great."

"Actually, I'm glad you asked, are you still handy with a camera?"

"The handiest. Oh, oh please tell me we're having a photo shoot?"

"I want to do it before it gets cold."

"A what?" Emma asks from the forgotten corner of the room.

"A pregnancy photo shoot." Ella answers from around Killian's form. He turns slowly as if he already knew he should have ran the idea past her. "Oh wow, I already have a million ideas. This is going to be the best. You have to let me put them on my website."

"Wait what?" Emma doesn't want to come across as the downer in this little exchange, but he maybe could have mentioned it. The last picture she remembers posing for that wasn't her and Ellie sending him 'selfies' was more than likely her mug shot. She hates photos.

"Oh, and I know exactly how to incorporate Ellie into them." Ella continues "Send me an email, we'll coordinate times and dates. I'm probably more excited than you."

"Yeah, you could say that." Emma responds, glaring at her boyfriend, still staring at her shamefully.

Ella picks up a cupcake and walks out into the reception, leaving the three of them there in the silence.

"Miss Ella takes good pictures." Ellie assures Emma. "She took my birthday pictures." And yes, they came out gorgeously, but that doesn't mean Emma will look as well with a huge belly and all.

"I didn't realize you guys were bff's." Emma comments, not even from a jealous place, just a surprised one. "I mean, I knew you were more than a client of her studio, but you two are really good friends."

"She was Elsa's best friend." Killian closes the pink box and lifts a hand for Ellie to hold. She doesn't hesitate to climb off Emma's lap and over to his side. "I've known her since I was eleven or twelve?"

"She doesn't seem that much older than you."

"Yeah, well." He nods toward the door but she hasn't even bothered rising from where she's seated. "C'mon, Swan. Ellie's hungry and can't have a cupcake until dinner."

"Ugh. How do you always know what I'm thinking?" Ellie raises her chin up at him, swinging their arms faster.

"I can read minds. You know that, Love Bug." Killian turns his gaze back to Emma, squinting comically. "Like Emma is afraid her belly is too big to be beautiful in these photos."

"What?" Ellie turns her head quickly, shocked at Emma. "You are always beautiful and the bigger your belly gets only is my sister getting bigger too. That's good! You're both really pretty!"

"Thanks Kid. But actually, I was thinking about how Uncle Kilo doesn't know how to talk to his girlfriend first before signing us up for things." And she finally gets herself up from the risers, almost skipping to grab Ellie's other hand and squeeze lovingly. "But you are gorgeous and I know you're going to be beautiful in every shot we take."

"So we can do it?" He glances over at her shyly, and she almost hates how cute he is when he's trying to get on her good side.

"Yeah."

"And we'll send them to Aunnie Anna and tell her to stop being bad and be escited."

-/-

Killian makes them stuffed bell peppers for dinner and she's shocked at how much Ellie eats on nights she has ballet. She actually devours her serving and Killian splits a second one with her. He asks if she's sure she really wants a cupcake now. Of course she wants a cupcake. It's late and he's afraid she'll have trouble falling asleep, but she's down by 9:15 like always.

They spend some extra time on the couch, him apologizing for not mentioning a few things, her thanking him for putting those moms in their place.

He's got his head in her lap and she runs her fingers through his silky locks when the idea of baby names finally surfaces after finding out the sex.

"Ryan?"

"No, not Ryan. No 'R's."

"What do you mean 'no 'R's' what kind of permission did anyone give you to just rule out a whole letter?"

"I hate R's. Robin will think we're copying him. He's weird like that." She doesn't have the heart to tell him that he's the weird one. "I like K's. Kenna, Kylie, Katherine."

"Kenna is short for McKenna."

"Not if we don't want it to be."

"You're so narcissistic. Are we really going to pretend you like K's for any other reason than your name starting with a K?" She laughs when he pretends to be insulted.

"It's a real crisp sound. Like biting into an apple."

"I like how E's sound then. Like a gentle sigh." And she's joking, but his eyes brighten as they connect with hers from below.

"I love E's. Emma and Eloise. They're my favorite."

"Okay. E names that we don't already experience every day. No Emily, too close."

"Evelyn?"

"I don't know… keep it in the maybe. How about Eva?"

"Too close to 'Evil' and I'm not interested in naming our child something villainous." He turns his head, nuzzling his nose into her belly. "You're not a villain right darling, you're daddy's angel, aren't you?" And he hasn't ever actually referred to himself as 'daddy' before so forgive her when she starts to sniffle and spill out soft tears.

"Evangeline. It's from The Princess and the Frog." Emma suggests. "Ellie would freak out if we did, she loves Evangeline."

"It's a star Swan, not an actual person."

"Eliza?" She asks instead. "Erica?"

"Eliza can go in our 'maybe' list." He presses a quick kiss to her tummy before lifting himself from her lap and turning to rest on his knees. His hair is a mess but his eyes are the cleanest, clearest blue they've ever been. "Can I just express to you, I've never felt happier than in this moment."

She was sort of already crying, but now she feels herself melting into mush and emotions. Her eyes are burning yet being hit with this coolness that echoes throughout her body, her teeth ache, her throat suddenly dry and her lungs icy.

She knows he loves her, and hearing him say it so often, so surely, is and has always been an experience, but sometimes we love people who make us miserable, and God knows she's done her damage to this beautiful, perfect man. She's never known how happy he's been to be with her. It's as if her very soul is trying to jump for joy, right out of her body because nothing is working, not her mouth, not her hands, not her brain.

"Love?"

"Yes." She nods eagerly, sniffling and swiping away at tears. "Yes, that's it, love. I am so…" and she probably looks like an over-excited five-year-old when she breaks in the middle of her declaration to just breathe. "I am so, so in love with you." And now it's his turn to look too young when he breaks into this toothy grin, dipping his head to hide it as best he can. But she sees it. She falls even more in love because he's too bashful when she's telling him how she feels, he's almost too innocent and she wants that for him. She wants him to feel like he's never been broken. If they can heal each other with what they've got going on, she will never stop loving him for as long as it makes them better.

She tugs him back to her, and he has to brace himself on the arm of the couch, combing his fingers through her hair with his free hand. He halts them just before their lips touch and it only brightens the light blooming in her chest when he meets her shaky breaths, every rise and fall perfectly in time, every little bit of this feeling like their first kiss again. She meets him part of the way, arms around his neck, heart pounding out of her chest. Their lips touch and it's fireworks sounding from states away, yet at the same time her soul is settling back into place after going just nuts the last few minutes. He's comfort and combustion and everything in between. He's just everything. Point-blank.

-/-

His fight with Anna was weeks ago, and it's Ellie's first day of Kindergarten. He can't decide if he should send a picture, if she even deserves to see her all grown up and ready for her first day.

She's wearing a turquoise and yellow sundress with a white cardigan, the Summer slipping from them like the sand of the beach falling through his fingers. He's holding onto his two blonde rays of light to keep from feeling anxious about what Fall will bring.

To be honest, if Anna doesn't visit he's certain he'll lose the will to continue their relationship. He snaps a picture for himself, unwilling to let the day go unnoted, but he'll decide later at the office if she gets to see it. She should be badgering him for one, if the roles were reversed, if Ellie were tens of thousands of miles away, he'd be begging for a photo weekly. He'd be calculating her growth because she's their last connection to Liam and Elsa and how dare Anna not want to soak in every little bit of who Ellie is.

She doesn't get a picture.

He changes his mind three more times before dropping Emma off at home.

"How was drop-off?" Robin and Ruby are standing in front of his office, bothering Smee.

"Good, no tears." From Ellie that is, he and Emma cried walking back to the car. "She is really excited and promised me she wouldn't even be cranky over missing nap."

"What a gem." Ruby beams, pick-pocketing his phone and picking the locked screen. "Oh, this picture is so cute!"

"Let us all see, Ruby." Robin admonishes, reaching across the counter for his phone.

"No, this one is better, look how cute the three of you are." She speaks his own thoughts. He's never been more proud of the way they resemble a happy little family.

And God, are they happy. He's sure he's the happiest one, just overjoyed that they've found such a great routine, and everyone is content with how things are. They close next week on the house and nothing in the world could trip them up now.

Not even a fight with his sister.

"D'you send one to Anna, mate?" He glares at his business partner. That's something Liam would do, badger him to include Anna.

"She doesn't want one." He answers after averting his eyes to a better view than the oncoming condescending gaze.

"Yeah, who says?"

"It's more so, 'who doesn't say?' which is Anna, ever. She never says she wants one, and the belly is in that shot, so she'll just be displeased anyhow."

"You haven't hashed it out?" Ruby smacks the phone on the raised desk. "Killian, what's your issue?"

And of course Ruby takes Anna's side. They practically grew up together, but Anna never takes Ruby's side in return because Anna doesn't know how to be there for anyone. It's not her place, see, her place is to be the protected, the reminded, the one who receives suggestions, instructions, the one who gets invited. She never takes the first step so if she wants to stay true to form, they won't talk.

He's not coming to her first this time. He's the only reason they talk now, he sought her out, he begged her for months to make her way back to their lives. He suggested skype, he scheduled Fridays and he's the one who gets upset when she forgets to mention she's out of service or a full day ahead because she's in Australia that week.

"When was the last time your best friend called you?" Killian picks up his phone, dropping it back in his breast pocket. "Oh that's right, never. She never calls anyone so don't start defending her now. If she is only inclined to remember her niece started Kindergarten today, she'll stop there. Don't expect her to be longing for a photo. You'll only let yourself down."

For the first time in ages, he locks the door after walking into his office.

Within five minutes his phone rings, lit up with a photo of Ellie and Emma at the beach.

"Hello?"

"Baby, what's going on?" She sounds so worried, so sweet and considerate and who gives a bloody fuck if no one else in this world cares about him. He's got the best lass caring about him.

"Which one of the traitors was it?"

"Not that it particularly matters, but the one with an emoji problem. She sent the poop one after a couple of hot faced ones." She cuts her laugh short and he wishes she wouldn't have, wishes he could just listen to her soft chuckles for hours and find his 'zen' again. "No really, babe, call your sister."

"No." He hates to be short with her, she's done nothing wrong. "I just…I shouldn't have to be the one who forgives and forgets."

"Well, you're older and you do. That's what we're gonna teach Ellie, isn't it? Being older means being the one who jumps first, every time. Call your sister."

"I really don't want to." He repeats, feeling the pain plummet deep down as he finalizes his decision. He's done. She's not going to get him to jump again, and if she never jumps her damn self, she lost him. "Love, I just got into the office, I have things to worry about and Anna isn't one of them. I love you, tremendously. I'll see you later?"

"Okay." She sighs, a bit disappointed in him, he knows, but she's never had siblings to break her heart like Anna has him. "I love you too, have a good day."

She hangs up first, and he waits for the screen to turn back to the picture of Ellie kissing the belly. He unlocks it and curses Ruby through emojis, happy the new update includes the middle finger. HR be damned.

-/-

She feels the same ol' nausea that surfaces every time she looks at the skype icon on the computer. This is for the best. If he's not going to fix his family, she will.

"Hello?" And maybe it takes a second for the image of her alone in their living room to materialize, because she doesn't seem shocked at all at first. "Emma?"

"Hi." Emma suddenly regrets everything. Why the hell did she think she was the 'fix-it' type? That was definitely Mary Margaret talking and look were it landed her. "Anna, hi." She repeats again and Anna does this weird smile, her teeth apart like if her top and bottom row don't touch it won't feel as fake.

"Where's… ya know…everyone?"

"Killian's at work and Ellie started Kindergarten, today." Maybe it's biting or maybe Anna has a mean sense of guilt all her own, because her face falls almost immediately.

"Oh god, am I going to get chewed out? I knew I was forgetting something." She starts flipping through a calendar, rambling about the time she forgot his birthday. "He gets so bent out of shape because he's the anal one and I'm just the mess. Sorry, I try you know, but eventually I come to terms with who I am, you think he would too! Did she cry? Was she excited? Did you take pictures?"

"Anna, please call him on his cell phone. He's so upset."

"Why? He's used to it…" She looks pensively at the calendar. "When's your birthday?" It catches her off guard and she fumbles at first, probably looking like an idiot.

"Uhm…October 22nd...He snapped at Ruby and Robin."

"Snapping at Ruby and Robin is his favorite pastime, you know, besides organizing his underwear drawer and pre-washing dishes. That makes you a Libra…hmm, you're a bit of a mess then? That's okay, I'm a Pisces, huge mess!"

"Yeah…Listen, he's really hurt by more than just you forgetting a date."

"When's the due date?" She is blatantly ignoring the idea of talking to him and it's almost infuriating. "Better mark that down before I get reprimanded."

"Yeah, speaking of due dates, do you not want him to have this child with me?" The pages stop flipping all together, the calendar just shaking in her hands. She prepares herself and then looks back up at Emma through the screen.

"Of course I do, I love babies, and you seem very nice." It looks like it hurts her to be nice or something. She clenches her jaw like him before releasing whatever charade this was. "I just wanted to know sooner. He thinks I never call but he never talks about himself when I do. It's all Ellie, all the time. I love Ellie, but I'm grinding my gears here trying to get my brother to talk about his girlfriend and he starts off by telling me you're pregnant. That's not the best situation is all." She really does talk a lot, and quickly and it doesn't seem to make much sense when thrown together the way she does, but whatever. Emma just wants to get them on speaking terms.

"And Ellie having a 'sister?'"

"I haven't met you in real life, which, let Killian tell it, is a crime against humanity but I just know that Killian becoming my brother had me feeling like Liam was my dad and if we're changing titles around, I think I should meet you, you know?" And now her eyes are as wide as Ellie's whenever they're breaking bad news to her. They glisten through the pixels and leave Emma feeling indifferent about the whole thing.

"In ten years, Ellie won't remember what my sister was like. I doubt she remembers her much now, because I'm fighting to remember the sound of her voice…" She gently wipes away tears and tosses her calendar on the table with a loud thump. "All I'm saying is, I'd like to know who Elsa's replacement is."

"I'm…not…" but she is. She is replacing Elsa in Ellie's life no matter how they try to make it so Ellie knows about her parents.

"Look, I should go." She shrugs, still sniffling and still incredibly sad. "I'll call him. Bye Emma."

"Bye."

It's times like these she wonders how much good she ever really does. Every chance she takes to make things better ends up way worse.

-/-

"Hello?" the number isn't familiar but he answers anyhow. The line is silent short of a few sniffles and a slow exhale. "Hello?"

"Kilo…"

"Why are you crying, is everything okay?"

"You didn't send me pictures of Ellie."

"You didn't ask."

"I didn't remember but that never stopped you before. Are you still mad at me?"

"Yes, I'm still bloody mad at you, Anna." She sniffles some more, this hiccupping breath like she's just suffered a fit hits his eardrums and shatters him. "Anna…"

"You know me, why are you acting funny now? I'm sorry, I'm never going to be like you."

"Just be present. Just care. I'm only asking you to care, to be happy for me and to give a damn."

"I give two damns on our worst days and you know it. You…you sprung that baby on me without any indication prior to that day. I think that was a little messed up."

"Did Ruby call you?"

"No, Emma did. She's a Libra, and you're an Aquarius, do you know what time of day she was born?"

"She doesn't know what time of day she was born. She's an orphan."

"See! You never told me anything about her! Shame on you."

"Shame on you!" He fires back and she lets out another trembling sigh.

"Don't be rude. You're running around making me out to be a villain. You know me."

She keeps saying that. 'you know how I am,' or 'you know me' but they suffered two tragic deaths and they've been living world's apart. His life is a million ways different than it was when they 'knew' each other.

"No, I don't." he sighs, because anger is fine, but this is deeper than a temper and a tantrum, this is facing the fact that he grew up with her, only to lose her with his brother and Elsa. "Things have changed a lot since the day you left. The man you know wouldn't recognize me these days. I feel as if the girl I knew has no clue who you are either."

"Okay, so you knock up your girlfriend and take over a company and now you're a different man? No, Killian. Circumstances change but people are true to form. I know you and if you say different you're wrong."

"I'm at work. I can't go round and round with you. Are you coming in November or not?"

"Yeah, I'll be there." She sighs. "and I'll prove you wrong. I love you to the moon."

Instead of proving him wrong, some proof that she actually means it would be nice.

"To the moon."

"Send the picture."

"I will. Bye Anna."

"Congratulations on my second niece."

-/-

"You're home!" Ellie darts from the couch to his arms in a matter of seconds, and he finds himself on bended knee to catch her. "I love Kindergarten and I'm not even tired, Uncle Kilo, I'm not even cranky or nothing!"

"Wow!" He replies animatedly, picking her up with him as he stands. He notices Emma in the kitchen, tossing items she probably thinks they won't need into boxes without wrapping them up. "Are you helping Emma pack?"

"Yeah, I'm putting all my artwork in binders. She gave me a hole punch and I'm being very careful not to punch my fingers." She points to the coffee table, completely littered with painting she's been collecting all summer and a few drawing Emma took down from the fridge and the closet near the computer desk. "She says we'll put them in the office and label them with the year and season."

"Sounds like a brilliant idea." He presses a kiss to her temple before walking them over to the sofa. She sets on his lap, picking at the flesh of her lips. "What is it, Love Bug?"

"I uhm… I wanna tell you about school."

"Oh of course. Spare no detail. I'm all ears." She releases the grin he's been waiting for all day. The reason his bones never ache and his feet never fail to walk, his life source is her smile.

"I love school! I had so much fun and I am like the only kid who can write my first and last name. Also, I made friends with a boy named Jakey, so I'm glad we didn't have a boy 'cause I'd have two jakeys in my life! Also, Felipe is my friend too, but sometimes he picks his nose and eats it so I tell him he has to wash his hands before he can touch my crayons. His mommy calls him Pepe and he wants us to call him Pepe too, but I really like saying Felipe! Oh, and I love Mrs. Nolan even more! She sings the Clean-up song just like Miss Nova. Oh, oh oh, and I also got to be line-leader on our tour of the school! I'm the 3rd tallest in my class, and everyone says I color really pretty and I made friends with a girl named Gabby who has dark, dark hair and eyes like my mommy…Emma."

"Wow! Good call on telling that Pepe to wash his hands." He winks, before continuing to prove he listened to her every word. "And you are getting so tall, Love Bug, and so smart and you are one of the most amazing artists I know. You said Gabby has Emma's eyes?"

"They are blue and green and yellow."

"Yellow?" Emma finally comments from the kitchen.

"Gold." He replies, because he knows exactly what Ellie's referring to. It's when she's happiest, when she's laughing and looking at them with so much love he loses himself in her eyes. They glow green, with a blue shadow and little specks of gold that make him think her eyes are only mirroring the very reflection of her gold hair in his own eyes.

"Yeah, gold." Ellie nods. "And Gabby is nice and she has a baby brother who is starting to walk. Oh and Mrs. Nolan asked us to tell everybody three things about us and I said 'I dance ballet' and I said 'I have a baby sister coming' and I said that uhm, I said about the doggy we're getting."

"Oh did you indeed?"

"Yeah, everybody knows now, and I can't be a liar, that's not good."

"Bug, do me a favor, please?" Emma calls from the kitchen, she's standing on a stool and making Killian nervous, so story time needs to finish up right about now anyhow.

"Yes?"

"Go take a box and put your dolls and your stuffed animals in it. Don't forget their shoes and clothes."

"But not Sven, right?"

"Right, only Sven can stay, everybody else in the box, Bueno?"

"Bueno!" Ellie hops off Killian's lap and rushes over to grab one of the twenty boxes in the kitchen. "Oh, and we're learning Spanish. I counted to one today."

"Is that so?"

"Mmhmm. Look, look." And she holds her hand up like she's about to conduct her vocal chords to make a symphony of sounds. "Uno. See, I learned that in one day. uno is one. I learned that in uno day."

"Brilliant! You're already more qualified than myself to run a company." She beams at him before flipping the box over her head like a helmet and blindly navigating her way to her room.

He rises from the couch immediately after, hustling to the kitchen to meet his Swan as she steps down from the stool.

"S'there a reason we needed to be alone at this exact minute?" He whispers huskily into her ear as he wraps his arms around her. "D'you miss me that much?"

"Baby…" She huffs, dropping the casserole dish on the counter and turning in his arms. She's not nearly as excited. "We need to talk about a few things, and I don't think any of them are very good."

"Alright." He swallows, afraid their happiness is always too damn short-lived. "What's troubling you?"

"I skyped Anna." She confesses

"I know, she called me. It's alright, Love. I appreciate you wanting to help us."

"Did you two make up?"

"We…well, no. Anna is stubborn and pulled the 'you're mean' card and deflected, but it's fine, she congratulated us on the baby. That's enough, I suppose." He isn't mollified by any standards, but staying mad at Anna is a losing battle.

"Okay, I guess…" She flattens her hands against his chest, staring at her nail beds instead of his eyes. "Ellie…Ellie says she wants to tell her friends I'm her mom. She wants to call me 'mommy' now."

"And that's not good?"

"Not before Anna actually meets me, no. She voiced that she's not okay with me…replacing Elsa and I do not want to…I don't feel right but if I tell Ellie 'no' then what if she never wants to again?"

"Well I recommend pleasing Ellie instead of Anna." He answers, feeling almost betrayed that Emma even consider Anna over Ellie and even more so that Anna would tell Emma this to begin with. "Her opinion means rubbish to us and our family now."

"She is your family, and she's Ellie's."

"She needs to bloody well prove that." He argues, his flesh heating in the worst way over it. "And I don't want to refer to this as replacement, you know that."

"I do, but it doesn't change that it is."

"It's not."

"Killian…it is. No matter how many talks we have about them, which to be honest, aren't very many, I'm still taking her place."

"No, we're creating a new place for us. Ellie's heart is big enough that we all get our own damn place Emma." He drops his arms from around her, stepping away to breathe. He doesn't expect his blood to rise like this, but the collar around his neck feels like a choke chain the more they speak about it.

"Okay, Baby. We all get our own place."

"If you don't want this anymore, that's fine. We'll tell her you changed your mind again, but—"

"Whoa." She stops him with her hand tugging at his wrist. "I never said that. I have never changed my mind about that little girl. I want this forever. I want to be her mother."

"Don't place Anna into this like she's sleeping in our home and existing in our world. She doesn't get an opinion Emma."

"Killian, Elsa is her sister."

"And she's supposed to be mine." He grits through his teeth, snatching his hand from hers and stomping away to the bedroom.

Of course it's covered in boxes. Emma apparently has been on a packing spree all morning which is much more organizing than he's seen her do their entire relationship. She packed the items on the dresser, Elsa's jewelry box sitting in one of the cardboard boxes on their bed.

Anna was supposed to take it with her, it was for her. It's decorated with a snowflake and the engraving 'Qui Vivra Verra' in script. Their mother bought it before their fateful trip. It's the last thing he should be toting around. They aren't even his fucking memories, but Anna left with nothing, she left everything and everyone behind. He wonders if Emma already found the few boxes still packed from Anna's room in their house. He wonders if she went through the memories only to find that Anna shed her skin before starting her new life.

Anna doesn't give a damn about the way her absence has affected them, so why should he care if they move on, to be happy, how does a family she abandoned affect her now?

"Is that hers? Elsa's?" Sometimes it hits him that she's saying her name and has never actually met her. He knows they'd get on just fine. Elsa's always liked the calmer company. She says she has enough 'bubble' in her life with Anna in it. Emma's personality is perfect, and they'd companion quite well.

He turns, holding the silver box out for her.

"It's a pretty song, what is it?"

"Für Elise" He answers as she opens it and lets the tune out. "Ellie thinks it's 'for Eloise' so please don't tell her otherwise. It's what makes her want to be a ballerina." She breaks into a laugh, watching the tiny figurine dance as the sound chips away at his heart.

"I'm sorry, Killian. I don't want you to be upset, especially not with me. And I would just—"

"I'm the one who should be sorry, and I am. I just, I guess I try not to deal with the abandonment issues I've always had, and remembering how Anna left before their bodies were even cold, it brings it all to the surface. I shouldn't have behaved that way. Please forgive me."

"Of course." She implores him to remember she loves him with a simple 'of course' and then she's shutting the jewelry box and setting it back on the dresser before rushing to him. Her arms around his waist feel grounding, like he's not alone and he's never going to have to be alone again. It's like he won't wake up cold and hungry again, and he won't wake up disoriented and afraid of what the future holds.

He runs his hands through her hair, pressing their foreheads together and trying to find his center of gravity within her embrace.

"Did you have a third problem, or did I imagine that?"

"Yes, I did." She presses her lips to his once, twice, three times before continuing and each time it builds a bit of his armor back up, protecting the lost boy he once was from getting broken again. "I am going crazy packing and being a stay-at-home mom." She pulls back to meet his eyes.

"You're not a 'stay-at-home-mom'" he reminds her. "You're not required to pack anymore; I can do it in the evenings."

"You work all day, I just take Ellie to school and pick her up, preparing nutritious snacks I've found in this month's issue of Martha Steward Living. It's practically my job to be a homemaker."

"Will you stop?"

"Do you want a housewife or not?"

"I want you. Just you. I want to come home everyday to you. I could care less what you do all day." She rolls her eyes despite how sincere he was attempting to come off as just now. "Do you want a job? I'll hire you at Jolly Roger."

She pretends to contemplate it for a moment "I think I'll interview at that other boat place in Boston. The one with the hot, American CEO."

"Did you just say boat?" He makes a show of releasing her from his arms.

"Oh, is that not what they're called?" She's batting her long lashes and smiling coyly as he moves across the room to take off his jacket and tie from work. "Whatever do you call them?"

"Shouldn't you be making our dinner, dear?" He challenges with a raised brow as he begins to sensually unbutton his dress shirt. He slides his tongue over his teeth as she watches him strip. "Or uh, bringing my martini?"

"Oh, honey you're going to have to unbutton more than your shirt to get me to make you one of those." She saunters out of the room and he finds himself falling more and more in love with her everyday. She's everything, from comedic relief to a beacon of hope to a solid rock to lean on. "I love you!" He shouts after her. It's quiet for a brief moment, her feet no longer moving across the hardwood. Suddenly her voice erupts with a loud 'I love you too!' And his heart loses it's ability to hurt over anything for the rest of the night. She's everything. Point-blank.