So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
'Cause oh that gave me such a fright
But I will hold on as long as you like
Just promise me that we'll be alright
Ghosts That We Knew by Mumford and Sons
Al had found a little hole in the wall place not to far from the hospital, Adam had made it clear he didn't want to be far from Sebastian. They secured a table towards the back, Al watched as he stared at the menu, his shoulders were slumped and his face was weary, it was clear Adam had been through the wringer. The man hadn't breathed a word of it to anyone, he came to work and did what was expected of him.
"Just get a burger, they can't fuck that up." Al snickered, "A burger and a beer, sounds like our safest bet."
Adam sighed, "I dunno..."
"Fuck Adam. You need to eat." Al scolded him, "You aren't any good to anyone if you aren't taking care of yourself."
"How 'bout you stop treating me like I'm a kid..." Adam snapped.
Al wasn't backing off, "Don't be an asshole. We are here, just order something or don't. I'm starving. You can watch me eat I don't give a fuck. We aren't leaving." Al leaned back in the chair, "We need to talk."
Adam relented, "Whatever."
Kim approached Sebastian's crib, she held her hands in front of her face almost as if she was praying, she just may have been. She feared being rejected, she wasn't sure she was strong enough to handle being rejected.
She wanted to soak him in, very lightly she placed her hand on the crown of his head. It was still as soft as she remembered, she was suddenly overcome with emotion. She had never realized just how beautiful he was, he was her perfect little boy.
"Oh..baby.." she spoke softly as to not wake him, she glanced over shoulder, "I feel like I'm seeing him for the first time. Really seeing him." She quickly turned her gaze back on Sebastian.
"He's beautiful, isn't he?" Geraldine ran her hand over Kim's back, "Why don't you pick him up. I know he'd love to cuddle with you."
Kim sighed, "I don't know. He's sleeping."
"Go on, Kim. Pick him up." Bob encouraged her, one way or another she was going to hold Sebastian. He'd see to it, he'd put Sebastian in her arms if need be.
Kim was careful in her movements, she tenderly lifted him up. She was careful not to disturb his IV and the other lines attached to him, she sobbed as she held him close, "Mommy is sorry Sebastian, so very sorry."
Gerri reached out for Bob's hand and gave it a squeeze, she was choked up and she knew Bob was as well, she wouldn't look him in the eye as she knew if she did she'd be in tears.
Sebastian instinctively rooted against her breast, it broke her heart just a little bit more. Just when didn't think she could hurt anymore she was proved wrong. She had continued pumping even after leaving Adam. The fridge in her hotel room was filled with baggies of breast milk, she wasn't sure why she continued to do so, she had no plans of getting the milk to Adam. She was thankful she had done so, Sebastian clearly wanted to nurse.
"Can I nurse him?" Kim asked.
"I don't see why not, but I'll double check." Bob jumped up from his seat and left the room, "I'll go find his nurse."
Al sighed heavily, "That was good." He tilted back in his chair, the burger had been one of the best he'd ever eaten, "We've eaten. It's time to talk."
Adam had inhaled his burger, "Come on Al..." he flipped his cell phone over.
"Ignore the phone for just a minute. Sebastian is fine." Al explained, he pushed his plate aside and he rested his arms on the table, "Kid, I know you're angry with Kim. Now before you jump down my throat I want you to know I understand your angry. I don't know nor do I need to know all the details. It's none of my business."
"Good to know." Adam had a fair idea where this was headed.
"Sebastian? He's my business. That little boy is the closest I will ever come to having a grandchild. I lost my Lexi. That's a pain you never get over, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."
Adam felt the air leave his lungs, he couldn't even imagine how hard it must be for Al, he didn't think he'd be able to go on if he ever lost Sebastian.
"This shit that's going on between you and Kim? That's where it needs to stay. You both need to work it out, let the chips fall where they may. I hope to hell it ends in you two getting back together, but if it doesn't? That's fine." Al hadn't been the greatest of husbands and he had made more than his fair share of mistake, "Sebastian needs you both. Do you hear me?"
"I do." Adam replied, "Kim left though. She left him."
"It was a shit move." Al replied, "She's sick Adam. She wasn't in her right mind. She's here now and like it or not, Sebastian needs her. "
"So I'm supposed to just pretend nothing happened? Ignore the things she said before she left, I don't know O." Adam could feel the anger bubbling up in his gut, "She said she dreamed of killing him.."
Al was taken aback, "Adam...I don't know what to say."
"You see my dilemma, do you think I want to keep her away? Fuck no. She's his mother. Despite all of this I still love her. I adore her, but she broke my heart that night she left. She gave up on us. So excuse me if I don't pull out the welcome wagon.." Adam finished off what was left of his beer.
"I don't expect you to. I do expect you to allow her to be with her son, she gets to help you make the decisions regarding his medical needs." Al continued, "Meredith never kept me away from Lexi, lord knows I gave her plenty of reasons to do so." He bit the inside of his cheek, "I'm so thankful for that, we didn't have Lexi for long enough. She was taken way too soon. Adam, getting to be a parent is the most precious gift in the world, don't take that away from Kim. Sebastian needs both his parents, I know you're angry and you've got every right to be but don't let your anger stand in the way of Kim being a mother to Sebastian."
"I'm terrified to let her in. What if she walks out again? What if she hurts him?"
"Do whatever you need to do, if it means you take precautions so be it. Just make it work Adam." Al shrugged, "Just don't keep Kim from that baby."
"I don't know if I can do that..." he didn't want to be a dick but he had to look out for his kid, "I won't have her in and out of Sebastian's life.
"I'm not asking you to, I'm asking you not to keep Kim away from him. That's all. I don't want you to be the reason Sebastian doesn't have his mother in his life. You can't keep Kim away. If Kim fucks up alomg the way, you'll be there for the kid. No matter what happens Sebastian will always know you didn't keep his mother away from him." Al folded his arms across his chest, "I hope to hell you two can find your way back to each other but it's okay if it doesn't work out. Sebastian needs both of you but he doesn't need for his parents to be together."
"You done?" Adam balled his napkin up and tossed it on the table, "I need to get back to my son."
Al was done, he had said his piece and there was no point in prolonging their stay. Al knew needed to let his words percolate a bit, "We can go." Al pulled his wallet out and tossed a few bills on the table, leaving enough to cover the bill and a generous tip to make up for Adam's shit mood.
Kim was a bit disappointed to learn that she couldn't nurse Sebastian, she understood their desire to maintain the status quo where feeding was concerned. They were carefully monitoring every feed and there were would be no way to tell how much he had eaten if she nursed him.
So she settled for sitting in the glider with him, she marveled at how much he had changed in just a week's time. She hadn't been gone long but it felt like forever, he was changing everyday and knowing she'd never get that time back killed her.
She appreciated how silent and unobtrusive Bob and Geraldine had been, it was as if they weren't even in the room. It was as if it was just her and her baby boy, she cuddled him close and relished the feeling of his soft skin as she ran her fingers over every inch of exposed skin. She noticed that he had lost some weight, he was pretty sleepy which she knew was to be expected but she was anxious for him to be a bit more alert. The few times he managed to open his eyes had been wonderful, his eyes were so much like Adam's. Her heart swelled with love each time he smiled at her, it only happened a few times but she cried like a baby with each smile.
When he curled his fingers around her thumb she dipped her head to kiss his fingers, "I'm going to fight to be the mommy you deserve. I love you so much Sebastian James."
"I'm glad you're home, Kim." Gerri stood beside her, "I hate that It took Sebastian getting sick to bring you home..but I'm grateful."
Kim reached out with her free hand to hold Gerri's hand, "Me too...I never should've left. I know that now. I was just so lost...I thought it was what I had to do. I was wrong."
"You're here now sweetie, that's all that matters" Bob chimed in, "I feel like a broken record but it's the truth."
"I appreciate your kindness, I don't really deserve it." Kim returned Sebastian to his crib, "I should get going." She really didn't want to leave but she didn't want to be there when Adam returned.
"Where are you going?" Gerri asked.
"I'm going to see my sister, she doesn't know I'm back yet." Kim hadn't talked to Nicole since the morning before she left, they spoke briefly and it ended in an ugly argument. Kim had her work cut out for her, but she was determined to make amends. "I'm hoping she will let me stay with her."
"You can stay with us." Bob offered, "You can have the guest room. We'd love to have you."
Kim appreciated the offer, "I can't stay with you. You're Adam's family, it wouldn't be right."
"We're your family as well." Geraldine told her, "I do understand though, just promise us you won't leave again."
"I won't." Kim hugged her, "Thank you for everything, for taking care of Sebastian and Adam. For loving me, even when I don't deserve it."
"We love you. We just want you to get better." Bob hugged her tightly, "You're going to get better, Sebastian will be okay. In a year from now this will just be an unfortunate blip on the radar."
Kim wasn't so sure, "From your lips. I will back first thing tomorrow morning. Before Sebastian's procedure. Will you let Adam know?"
"Of course." Kim returned to Sebastian's crib, she pulled the railing down so she could give him one last kiss and hug before leaving, "I promise I will be back tomorrow, be a sweet boy."
Adam wasn't shocked that Kim was gone when he got back, "She's gone? Not surprised."
Bob bit his tongue, "Did you eat?" He could feel the tension coming off Adam in waves, "The fresh air must've been nice."
"Sure. How's Sebastian?" Adam lifted him up, "Hey man.." he kissed his head and was instantly surrounded by aroma of Kim's perfume, he nuzzled his nose against Sebastian's soft hair.
"The same. He snuggled with Kim for most of the time she was her, I think he really liked it." Geraldine explained, "It was nice."
Adam grabbed a folder off the table, "What's this?"
"Information about the procedure tomorrow. One of the nurses dropped it off earlier." Bob explained.
"Did Kim agree to the procedure?" Adam asked.
Bob knew Adam was pissed, "She did. You stormed out of the room. Sebastian needs the procedure."
Adam nodded his head, "Got it. We are good here."
"You know Son..."
Geraldine placed her hand on Bob's arm, "Bob...don't." She knew he was over Adam's attitude, "Let's go home, it's been a long day for everyone."
"We will go home. I just need to say this first. You're angry I know and you're allowed to be, but Kim is trying..."
"Fuck..well, thanks for that Pop. I'm glad I've got your permission to be angry." Adam put Sebastian back in his crib, Sebastian started to whine as soon as he was put down, "Yes, I'm angry." Adam huffed, "She left and now she's making medical decisions..."
"He needs the procedure. You would've signed off on it if you had bothered to stick around." Bob cut him off, "Adam, son. I love you. I am so proud of you and the father that you've become but the way you're dealing with this is wrong. Kim is getting help. She didn't just run off..she left because she has postpartum depression."
"So I've heard. Seems everyone is quick to make excuses for her, and I'm the one who gets shit on."
Geraldine was desperate to get Bob out of the room before things escalated even further, "Bob, honey. That's enough."
"Okay..okay." Bob threw his hands up, "I'm done. Adam, I'm sorry. We will see you in the morning. Please try and get some rest."
"Yep." Adam replied.
Kim wasn't looking forward to this, the only thing harder then this was seeing Adam. She knew Nicole was going to be furious with her, she was a bit surprised that she hadn't been at the hospital to see Sebastian at all.
She knew Nicole worked crazy hours and was constantly on the go, wether it be work or schlepping Zoe from place to place, her sister was the epitome of busy.
Not that Kim had the right to judge her.
She could feel herself falling into the black hole that was self loathing, it was a dangerous place to be and it would get her nowhere. Cheryl had drilled into her to not dwell on the past, on the things she couldn't change, there was no good to be had in reliving her mistakes. She was to remember them, to learn from them as to not repeat them and she was to lace them in the past.
As she climbed the porch steps she felt her stomach roll, as her hand hovered over the door to knock it suddenly flew open.
"Where the hell have you been?" Nicole had heard the car door and was up in a flash, she yanked her sister inside and immediately engulfed her in a the tightest hug she could manage. She needed to hug the life out of her before she chewed her out for falling off the face of the earth.
The Burgess sisters were tight over the last few years, Nicole's attack had been the catalyst for their new found relationship. When Nicole was afraid to leave her house, it was Kim who helped her. Most of them Nicole didn't need to ask Kim, somehow she just knew that her sister needed her.
Nicole felt awful for not being able to return the favor, she had a fair suspicion that Kim was having issues but she never questioned her on it. On the off chance she did confront Kim about it, Kim blew her off and she backed off, she would never forgive herself for letting Kim down.
"Sit down and start talking." Nicole demanded.
"I'm sorry." Kim followed her into the living room, "I'm sorry for worrying you."
"As you should be, I assume you know Sebastian is in the hospital, yes? That's why you're home. Have you seen him yet?"
"I have. I just spent the last hour or so with him, he's a tough little boy. He's hanging in." Kim missed him, "He's absolutely beautiful."
"Yes he is. He's perfect. What did Adam say?"
Kim shrugged, "It wasn't pretty. He's tolerating me. Barely. I'm going back first thing in the morning, Sebastian has to have another procedure."
"That poor baby. He's been through so much..." the rest of her sentence died on her lips, "I'm sorry..."
"No, it's okay." Kim told her, "he has been through a lot, because of me. Nicole, I have postpartum depression, I'm getting help."
Nicole pulled her into her arms once more, "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. I let you down."
Adam stroked Sebastian's cheek as he slept, "Be patient with me man, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, your mom is back and it's knocked me on my ass." He rattled on, "I know she loves you...I know that beyond a shadow of doubt but I'm scared for you. My mom wasn't much of a mom..." he smiled as Sebastian's face scrunched up a bit as he squirmed, "see you get it..my mom she was never around for me. It sucked. She let me down all the time, and Pops let her, man I'd cry myself to sleep. I don't want you to feel that pain kiddo, I don't want you to ever think you're not worth it. That you aren't loved. That's how my mom made me feel..for a long time." He felt like he was spinning out, "the thing is I love her. I love her so much, I don't know if I can do this life without her. What if she comes home and she leaves us again? I'm not sure I can go through that again." He flicked away the tears as they slid down his cheek.
Kim put the last of the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, Nicole had cooked enough food to feed a third world country. Most of it had been put in the fridge and would be eaten over the next few days, dinner had been quiet for the most part and Kim was thankful for that. Zoe had come home shortly after Kim had shown up. Zoe was thrilled to see her, her presence had kept Nicole from asking the tough questions.
It was an all too brief reprieve, as soon as Zoe had gone to her room for the night, the floodgates had opened and Nicole didn't hold back.
Kim had expected her to come at her with both barrels firing, it was best to face it head on and get it over with. She was exhausted and just wanted to take a hot shower and go to bed.
"Sit." Nicole ordered when Kim finally emerged from the kitchen, "I appreciate you cleaning up the mess from dinner, I realize why you were quick to volunteer. I've got questions. A lot of them."
"I know you do. I will do my best to answer them. I want you to understand that I may not be able to answer them all, there are somethings I need to discuss with Adam before I discuss them with anyone else. I hope you can respect that." Truthfully Kim didn't care if she did or not, it wasn't up for discussion.
"Understood." Nicole replied, "Where have you been?"
"A hotel a few hours away." Kim told her, "I've been there for the last week. I just got in the car and drove, I didn't have a destination in mind."
"You just up and left. No phone call.."
"It was wrong I know." Kim sighed, "I was so lost...nothing I did made sense. I felt so out of control. I couldn't focus on anything, or anyone. The sound of Sebastian crying made my skin crawl.." she shuddered at the memories, "I was in a very dark place and I felt like I had to leave. That Adam and Sebastian would be better off without me."
"That's ridiculous." Nicole was astonished, she pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them tightly, "Clearly you were suffering from a touch of the baby blues. I had them after I had Zoe. Your hormones are all messed up, you've got this tiny little person depending on you to keep them alive..."
Kim cut her off, "No. I didn't have a touch of the baby blues. I had..I have postpartum depression."
"Alright, my mistake. I still don't understand why you left. From what I understand Adam doesn't either." She hadn't seem much of Adam lately but had exchanged a few text messages when Sebastian had been admitted into the hospital.
"I was having these fantasies.." Kim hated sharing this part of her story but she knew her sister needed to have all the facts, "Daydreams. Nightmares. It doesn't matter what you call them they're horrific. I had these images flash through my head...of killing Sebastian." She wanted to vomit as she spoke the words, she could see Nicole was about to say something, she stopped her with her hand. "Don't say it. Please don't say I would never hurt my baby. I came this close to doing it..." she held her index finger and thumb closely together leaving the tiniest sliver of space between them, "Sebastian was crying...he had been crying most of the day and I had tried everything. None of it worked, he just kept crying. I had put him down on the floor and walked away, I could feel myself losing control. I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't comfort him. I went back to him and picked him up, I wanted to try again. To see if couldn't get him to settle..." she had hoped that stepping away for a few moments would help some of the stress she was feeling to alleviate, "I held him up so he was at my eye level, I had my hands under his arms, but he wouldn't stop crying. I begged him to stop crying but he didn't. I was so frustrated, he was miserable. I almost did the unthinkable, I wanted to shake him, and I nearly did."
"No..." Nicole gasped, she reached across to take Kim's hand in hers.
"Yes." Kim pulled the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth, she used her free hand to wipe her eyes, "I nearly shook my precious baby. I knew I needed to get away from him. I couldn't risk hurting him, I couldn't hurt my son. I couldn't hurt Adam..."
Nicole lurched forward to catch Kim as she broke down in gut wrenching sobs, her body trembling as she cried.
Nicole had heard those cries before, they had come from deep within her and it had been Kim who held her through it.
"I love you Kim..." Nicole whispered as she rubbed her back, "You will be okay. Sebastian will be okay." She whispered it over and over again as Kim continued to sob.
Adam woke with a start, the rising sun had bathed the room in warm light he was a bit shocked to have slept so soundly and for so long. The last thing he could remember was watching a documentary about shark attacks off the coast of Australia. He wasn't really watching it, it was mere background noise something to fill the silence.
"Sorry, " the nurse smiled, "I didn't mean to wake you, I tried to be quiet." She made a few notations on Sebastian's chart, "little man had a good night. He will be going downstairs shortly, the radiologist has already checked in and is speaking with the doctors."
"Good to hear." Adam was a bundle of nerves, "This procedure, its safe?"
"Yes." The nurse smiled, she sorted through some of the paperwork on the desk, "Here." She grabbed the pamphlet, "this explains it in detail."
"Thanks." Adam looked it over quickly.
"Try and relax, Mr. Ruzek. We've got this. Sebastian is in good hands. Answers are coming, I feel it in my gut. This little guy will be heading home soon."
"I sure hope so." Adam smiled, "I don't know how much more of this I can take." He couldn't imagine how anyone did it, he was lucky Sebastian wasn't critically injured or sick. He wasn't suffering from anything life threatening, it didn't mean he wasn't scared as hell because he was but it had given him some perspective.
Kim was already up and showered, she was ready to get back to the hospital, she was shocked to find Nicole already up and standing in front of the coffee maker two travel mugs in her hands, "All set?" Nicole asked.
"For?" Kim asked.
"The hospital. You didn't think I'd let you go alone did you?" Nicole smiled, "I haven't seen my nephew in a long time. I need some Sebastian snuggles."
"You and me both." Kim smiled before hugging her, "Thank you."
Adam had been in constant contact with his Pops, he was glad both him and Geraldine would be at the hospital shortly, his nerves were frayed and he needed to get in a quick run. The hospital grounds provided him with a the space to get in a run.
He had a fair idea that Kim would be in soon and he wasn't ready to be in her presence, he was feeling pretty fucking weak at the moment and didn't trust himself. He had figured out why he had slept so soundly, he slept well because he had seen Kim. He knew she was safe and sound and it was one less thing he had to worry about, he was a living breathing contradiction. He loved Kim and yet he hated her at that same time, he wasn't sure it was hate he was feeling, hurt was probably a better term.
Just as he expected his father arrived, "Hi Son." Bob held his arms open, "We good?" He knew he had pushed Adam a bit too much the previous night and he felt like shit because of it.
"Yeah. Of course Pop." Adam welcomed the hug, "Sebastian had a good night. He was awake for a little bit, I actually think he's getting better." Sebastian had smiled quite a few times already, "Smiling and trying to talk. I think he may have even been flirting with the nurse."
"Sounds like a true Ruzek." Gerri laughed, "May I?" She looked at Adam awaiting his permission.
"Of course. You don't have to ask Gerri, you're family. He loves his GiGi." He grabbed his running shoes from his overnight bag, "You guy's mind if I go outside for a bit, go for a run? I've got a ton of energy I need to burn."
"Go on. We will be fine won't we little man?" Bob tugged lightly on his grandson's foot, "you'll stick close, Yeah?"
"Absolutely. Just around the grounds. It's good for at least three or four miles." The campus was large and had a pretty decent terrain, it varied in slope and conditions. "I just need to zone out and get out of my head for a little while." He neglected to add how he didn't want to be around when Kim showed up, nor did he want to admit that he was a little afraid that she wouldn't show up.
"Well, then off you go." Bob waved him out of the room, "we've got this under control. Just take your phone with you."
"Thanks Pop." Adam replied.
Kim was a nervous wreck as she waited for the elevator to arrive on Sebastian's floor, she felt like it'd never get there, as soon as the doors slid open she practically ran out.
Nicole tugged on her arm, "Slow down Kim. I know you're anxious to see him but you're going to knock someone down if you're not careful"
"I want my baby." Kim longed for him, she felt whole when she was with him. It was an odd feeling after she had felt so disconnected from him to suddenly feel so incomplete without him was hard to wrap her head around how fast everything had changed for her.
"I know."
Slowly Kim pushed the door open, she felt the wind leave her sails just a bit when Adam was nowhere to be found, "Can I come in?" Kim asked as she stood behind the door just a bit, "My sister Nicole is here with me."
"Of course you can come in. Don't be silly." Gerri waved her in, "I was just cuddling with little man, but I'm sure he'd rather hang with his mommy."
"How was his night?" Kim asked as Gerri transferred him into her arms, "He is still stable, yes?"
"Adam said he had an uneventful night. Which is a good thing. He's been pretty alert this morning, even smiling and trying to talk. Adam thinks he's getting better, and while he's not wrong, it's more that he's no longer dehydrated and that's done wonders for him. They're still cautious when it comes to his feeds, seems he still not tolerating them all that well."
"Come on little one, it's time to get it together." Kim cooed, "When will they do his procedure?"
"Soon. The nurse was in just a little while ago, they're going to begin prepping him soon." Gerri nudged Bob, "Perhaps you should call Adam."
"Soon. I told him I'd text him when the nurses said it was time."
"Where is he?" Kim asked them.
"He went for a run." Bob told her, "He needed some air. He's been pretty wound up as of late."
Nicole could see Bob's comment had stung Kim a bit, "Sebastian sure is handsome, huh?" She wanted to veer the conversation in a different direction. She knew Bob hadn't intended to hurt Kim, but he had done just that.
"He's the cutest baby in the world. I know I'm a bit biased." Bob chuckled, "He takes after his grandfather." He grinned from ear to ear, he absolutely adored his grandson.
Nicole felt her phone buzz in her back pocket, she was alerted to a missed call, "That was Zoe. I'm going head outside to call her back. I will be back shortly."
Adam yanked the headphones out, he tugged on his shirt and used it to wipe the sweat from his face. He slumped over a bit, his hands resting on his knees as he waited for his heart rate to slow and his breathing to return to normal.
The run had done little to clear his mind, it was a tall task and he wasn't all that shocked that it hadn't come to fruition. He knew everything would remain in a holding pattern until they discovered what was going on with Sebastian.
Once that happened he would be able to focus on his marriage and figure out where things stood and what would come next.
Nicole had a brief conversation with Zoe and promised to call her as soon as Sebastian's procedure was over, Zoe adored her baby cousin and was just beside herself with worry.
As she turned to go back inside she spotted Adam sitting on a bench with his head in his hands.
"Hi, Adam." She touched his back, "How are you?"
Adam looked up at her, "I'm okay. Hanging in." He told her, he discreetly reached a hand up to wipe his tears away, "You?"
"About as well a could be expected. I'm ready for our boy to be better." She folded her arms across her chest, "I want you to know I appreciate you letting Kim to sit with Sebastian for a little bit. She's upstairs with him, I assume that's why you went for a run. It really means a lot to Kim. I know everything is so messed up right now, but she loves her son Adam."
Adam's head bobbed up and down as he spoke, "I needed to run. It's helps clear my head..though it didn't really get the job done today. I am not a complete dick. I don't want to keep Sebastian from her...it's just complicated. I know she was..." he paused, "is dealing with a lot. I'm thrilled she's getting help but..." he turned to look her in the eye, "Things aren't magically okay because she's back and getting help. She walked out on us."
"She regrets leaving you. She was in such a dark place, she thought it was the only option" Nicole explained.
"Why didn't she come to me? Why didn't she trust me with this? I could've..I would've helped her." Adam had gone over it twelve ways from Sunday and still couldn't wrap his head around it, "Thank you for calling her, for convincing her to come home. I was going to try and find her I swear. Once Sebastian was admitted I knew I had to find her."
"I didn't." Nicole told him, "She showed up last night. Just knocked on the door, I was shocked as hell to see her. I just assumed you had gotten in touch with her."
"No." Adam stood up straight, "What the hell? How did she know?"
Nicole was puzzled, "I don't know. I guess it doesn't really matter how she found out though does it? I'm just happy she knows and she's home."
Adam wasn't so sure he agreed with her, he did want to know how she had found out about Sebastian being sick.
"You didn't call her?" Adam questioned her again, "Didn't send her a text? Nothing?" He asked her.
"Well, I sent multiple texts and left voicemails but I never once mentioned Sebastian being sick. She never replied Adam, I can't even be sure the texts were delivered to her phone." Nicole had tried numerous times to get ahold of her. It was frustrating as hell and it had driven her to tears more than once, "Does it really matter though?"
"Yeah, it kinda does. I would like..." Adam paused to answer his phone. "I'll be right up." It was a short call barely lasting a minute, "That was my father, they're ready for Sebastian's procedure. I need to get upstairs."
Kim had said her goodbyes to Sebastian and made her way downstairs to the waiting room, she wanted to give Adam the space he had given her. She was thankful for those precious moments with Sebastian, moments she wasn't sure she deserved. She got hold her baby, kiss his face and whisper words of encouragement in his ear.
It wasn't long before she was joined by Nicole and then shortly after that Bob and Gerri had joined them.
While the test was simple and wouldn't take long in had them all on edge, so much was riding on the outcome of this procedure.
In the blink of an eye it was over, they heard from nurse that Sebastian was back in his room and that they should head on up as the doctor would be their shortly with the results.