Dang I love you all so much :) in a none creepy fashion…*coughawkwardcough*

Anyways, thanks so much for the reviews, I really love them so much! Please review this one too.

And it seems I have a new fan to! Thank you so much chakira16! Lol. And thanks to all my other diligent fans who put up with me and my idea of fun ;)

Oh, and someone asked if Gaara had cut his arm. No, he never did cut his arm. It just hurt. Spooky hu? *hint hint*

Do NOT own Naruto

Song: Tourniquet

By: Evanescence

~Signing in Skye~

Ch. 14

Pain of Three

I tried to kill the pain

but only brought more

so much more

I lay dying

and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal

I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming

am I to lost to be saved

am I to lost?

My God my tourniquet

return to me salvation

my God my tourniquet

return to me salvation

*Kiba*

"Hinata?" I opened the door, but as I figured, no one was there to answer. Hanabi did say she would probably be asleep. Still, I was worried about her, she wasn't the same, and Gaara was a jerk and wouldn't visit here. But I was as much to blame for never noticing. I reached down to pet Akamaru only to find her wasn't there. Dugh! I left him at home today.

Then I heard the cry of pain. No, it was more than pain, it was an emotional release of everything wrong. Rushing towards the sound, I followed it to the bathroom. "Hinata?" I heard the inaudible lock before I came up here.

Still, I could hear her loud anguished cries from behind the door. "Hey, Hinata, open the door! You okay?" I knocked.

"G-o 'way K-Kiba!" She sobbed. I heard a slick like sound. She gave a small moan of pain.

"Hinata I'm coming in!" I started to push against the door. 'Please be okay!' It bulged slightly with each push and she whimpered. I hated to think of my friend imagining her father behind the door. Her nightmares had been so horrible that even though I couldn't see them they frightened me.

I pushed harder against the door and was racked with guilt. This girl was like a sister to me! Why did she have to hurt? As much as I wanted to pound the living day lights out of Gaara, I wanted to hurt myself just as bad. She whimpered again and something fell on the tile. The door bulged and started to open.

I'll do anything for you my beautiful crying princess. To see you smile and hear your laugh once more.

The door opened and I fell to my knees landing roughly on the hard floor. Hinata no longer made a sound. I glanced at the floor shocked to find it coved in drops of blood. That's when I was truly afraid to look up. What if she was gone this time? Yeah, the fever-induced dreams were something to be scared of, but that could be blamed on her fever and trauma. This, what if she decided to leave us all?

I glanced up anyways. Hinata sat there against the tub, hair lying limp and eyes glazed over. Her legs were splayed out in front of her and her hands rested limply on them. Her dark pj's were wet, as her blood soaked through. The forgotten knife on the floor. In all honesty it was one of those 'false alert' cuts. There were tons of them on her wrist making it seem more bloody and they were deep, but not life threatening. Wouldn't even need stitches, it was just a lot of blood.

It still got me by her side in a flash. The instant I reached for her now bloody armed she flinched away. But like it was a reflex, no actual emotion behind it. Her eyes looked to me lost, confused and she lifted her hand slowly into mine so I could examine it.

"Hinata…"I whispered in awe, sad she would do this, "why? What?" I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

"C-can't feel a-anything." She leaned the hand into my hand some more. "I'm n-numb. J-just wanted t-o feel. W-wanted t-o cause m-y own p-ain for once." She gave a weak smile and held up her bruised hand. "Couldn't gr-abe t-he knife w-with that band-age." I felt like crying.

I stood, grabbed a few towels from the cabinets and wet them. Then reached into the medical cabinet grabbed some peroxide and bandages. All the while Hinata mumbled on about her "numbness."

"I s-should feel t-things, but their," she paused to think of the word, "d-diluted. I s-should fear y-your touch. And f-feel sad t-that Gaara left." I bent back down to see her looking again at the knife. "I can f-feel all of t-that when i-t h-hurts." In other words, when you cause your own pain. I moved the knife out of her sight and on the counter.

"K-KIba?"

"Yes Hinata?" I grabbed her arm and dully but carefully cleaned it off.

"W-what's wrong wi-th me?"

I paused in my work and glanced at her arms. Then shook my head. "Shock I guess. First everything with your dad," I leaned over and picked up the peroxide, "then the hospital and you did seem close with Gaara to, then the whole new house thing, your dad coming back, Gaara going ballistic. It's an overload Hinata." I shrugged like it was the simplest thing in the world. "You're hurting and you don't want to feel it anymore."

"T-then why…"

"I don't know, to prove your here?" I didn't want to talk about her cutting herself.

"A-and why w-wont you lo-ok at me? K-Kiba?" I hated hearing you're voice so devoid of emotion. You sounded lost. Maybe that's why?

Her bandaged hand went to my cheek as I finished wrapping her up and cleaning the floor with some cloths. The bandages on her hand rubbed my cheek and she lifted my head up. My brown eye met her pale ones.

"Kiba!" Right then she came back to me. My sunshine princess with worried eyes. "You're crying!" I was in her arms then as she pat my back softly.

I held her back until she stiffened with memories coursing though her, I was about to pull away when she forced herself to calm down and to keep hold of me.

"Sorry, s-orry, s-sorry," She mumbled like a mantra before I faked a small laugh. I pulled her away and placed my hands on her shoulders. She wasn't crying but her eyes spoke her pain right them, as if tears would fall. "S-orry."

"Listen." Before she decided not to feel again. "Don't do that again okay?"

She nodded mutely, but when she looked back up her eyes were lost once more. "T-then how w-will I f-feel again Kiba?" I sighed. "I don't w-want to h-hurt any-one. A-and I'm ok-ay w-with not feeling, it's just I d-don't f-eel real."

I nodded then decided to answer her, opening my mouth to speak to the girl who was a sister to me. Who was a princess in my eyes.

*Hinata*

He was crying and it was my fault! For a minute I forced myself out of the mental reprieve of my mind, I woke out of my dream state. I hugged him, but when his hand touched my back before I began to tense up and I felt myself slipping away so as to not feel it.

Then I remembered what Gaara had said. Do I ever want a normal relationship with my friends again? He said it was okay to heal and take time, but Kiba, Kiba this boy who was like my brother needed my comfort, my assurance that I would not cut myself again.

"I'll help you feel again. Just ask me and I'll do whatever it takes, just do NOT," he laced the word 'not' with fear and worry. "Do not cut yourself."

I was gone again now. I knew his word were important so I listened. I listened but did not feel. My dream walking had returned and with it clouding my feelings.

"Come on," He helped me up. Putting an arm around my waist, he steadied my swaying body. Kiba was a good boy, but at his hands, my body flinched before relaxing into oblivion. It wasn't the first time he's grabbed me there, I'm know too faint and he's always helped me. Also he's a very hands on person with his friends. Therefore, hugs and high fives and tackles weren't so unnatural from him. To be scared of that? My mental state must be far-gone. Then again, what mental state was I in right now if I had none?

The world got dizzy for a second. He cooed softly to calm me no doubt knowing that it wouldn't have much effect on my "dream walker state." That's what I'm going to call this. The moment when there is no feeling, just breathing. Just an extra space of person.

"Get dressed, I'll get you're medicines and cook you a snack, put on a movie or something?" I shrugged but turned to give him a fake smile.

Even with diluted feelings in my mind, way in the back was that forever girl who wished the best of her friends. "O-okay."

He turned around with one last weary glance my way before heading off to cook some snack. I pulled off my pants sticky with blood and began to wonder why Gaara's psycho side liked it so much. Did it make him feel like I did back there? Alive. Allowed to feel the pain that had been hidden, a reason to cry out.

Addicting.

I could hear the microwave and the pop, pop of popcorn. Figures, Kiba wasn't really a cook. I quickly pulled on some red sweat pants, well, quick as I could and walked calmly-I think- into the living room.

"So, popcorn soup coming up!" Kiba's cheery voice was a little forced but he gave me fanged smile before handing me the streaming popcorn with the buttery smell. I wondered if I could taste this like the cake.

"What movie?"

"D-doesn't matter."

"Come on, please Hinata?" He was begging me to pick a movie, but probably for his comfort that I still had some mind in me. What did I look like to him?

"Po-nyo?" I remember the day Kurenai came in with an unusually happiness over that movie. Scared everyone half to death. She loved it so much I'm sure she bought it.

"Dude! You're kidding me, she really does have it!" Kiba suddenly laughed and I glanced at him. Today he was wearing a black coat and black pants, nothing new really. Just this sad look on his face. A look I caused. For a minute I tried to force my emotions out but something held me back from doing so, saying it would be dangerous.

Scary. Painful. All the thing I didn't want to feel but all the things I needed to.

He plopped in the movie and sat down next to me and I could feel his natural body warmth. I snuggled up to him so his warmth could ease my cold body. I didn't even realize I had done it till he reached over for some popcorn.

"You're freezing man!" He said and ate some popcorn. I shrugged. "How come you're not scare-" He shut up and put some more popcorn in his mouth.

'Because Kiba, I can't feel. Didn't you know? Numb. Could have left me with the knife, I'd be a bundle of painful feeling then.' The thought came and went as I ate popcorn. The world was fuzzy and out of focus and I realized Kiba forgot my meds. That's okay. Maybe I can wake up properly without them. Let the world come into focus. It wasn't healthy to be so numb was it?

*Gaara*

After my heart to heart with music, I went to the bathroom to find the problem with my arm. I glanced down. It stung now, no longer burning like fire. But there was nothing there! I growled at my own arm and peered at it seeing a criss-cross of faint red lines. They made me feel incredibly sad but when I ran it under water the lines were gone.

I looked up at my reflection in the mirror. Red bed tossed hair, insomnia circles, sea green eyes and my ever-imprinting tattoo. The only thing out of order, my tear stained face. I was still crying but now without the shoulder shaking sobs. Tears poured down my face like silent ninjas.

My phone started to ring loud and shrilly. Not to mention annoyingly. I wiped my face free of tears and walked patiently to answer. They can wait.

"Hn?" I answer when I grabbed the phone.

"Gaara?" Kiba whispered. The idiot with the dog.

"What, and why are you whispering?"

"Well, Hinata fell asleep," my heart jumped up, "and I was wondering if you could visit." My heart fell.

"Hn."

"I was wondering if you could visit. See, she isn't herself and I know she misses you so maybe a visit from you would make her feel better." He growled out.

'Kudos for the growl!'

I ignored my inner psycho.

"She'll get over it, stop babying her." I felt my heart crack this time. I fell to my knees. Hinata, don't be sad, please. But I knew it was my fault.

"I thought you would-" He sounded angry, and scared. "No what! Forget it." He hissed out. "You take responsibility for whatever else she decided to do!" He hung up and I dropped the phone on the floor with a thump.

What did you do Hinata? What is he talking about?

I shook my head roughly. No! I gave her up to protect her, whatever happens is none of my business. I felt a pain in my arm again and glanced down to see that I had grabbed it in a vice like grip with my other hand. My heart thumped. I loved Hinata. How or why, don't know. I squeezed my arm harder. I just did.

I had to get my mind off of this. So standing up I walked past my radio without a second glance. No more music today. Instead, I grabbed my sketchbook and proceeded to draw absentmindedly in silence.

All that could be heard was the skitch, skitch sound of my charcoal pencils. But I was gone. I locked down and went into my mind to think, to wonder.

Hinata. Her image flashed up flushed with happiness, shyly standing before me, nervous in my cloths, fever red and true happiness on her face. Hinata. I left you to protect you. I could still fill my fist in her stomach. But what did I pay for this? What did we pay?

I glanced down at my hand, amused by it. It seemed to have a mind of its own. But when I looked at my drawing it took all my will not to throw up.

Drawn in harsh dark lines was Hinata. But she was dead, sprawled out on the floor covered in blood. Her arm looked broken and her eyes were wide like in pain. Her mouth open as if screaming and her head tilted back a little.

For the second time that day, I was brought to tears.

'Hinata, this is why I cannot go to you.'

I stood and threw the picture in the trash, being sure to rip it into shreds.

*Kiba*

I hated my talk with Gaara. If it could be called that. It just made me angrier. I could tell instantly that Hinata liked him and he did this to her? What a jerk! Then again, she was the one to fall in love so fast. If you thought about it, it had been ridiculously fast. But like it was a first look kind of love. Instant. And for a while, I had been sure Garra felt it to.

She woke as if she was never asleep. "W-when did s-she s-start living with t-them?" She motioned to the movie and I turned my attention back to the film.

"Uh, you kinda feel asleep." I chuckled and she sat up straighter leaning a little away from me.

"Oh."

The silence was long and awkward only broken by the sounds from the film.

"Kiba?"

"Yeah?" I wish Akamaru was here, he was my courage sometimes, and I admit I needed the support.

"You s-said…" She paused and looked at her hands and I glanced down to see her fiddling with them like always. I mentally cheered a little.

"What I say?"

"T-that y-you'd do a-a-anything." I nodded my head.

"And?" What was she getting at? She looked at me again and her eyes were once again clear, but pained. "Hinata?"

"I w-want to f-feel." She mumbled shoulders shaking. I sat up straight, ready to listen. "B-but I don't w-want t-o do it a-alone. I don't w-want to be a-ll al-one. I w-ant t-he pa-in to go away!" She said stiffly as if keeping tears at bay.

I placed my hand on her good one slowly watching for any signs of panic attacks in case I should need to run and get her inhaler. I was surprised she didn't have an asthma attack earlier.

"I will. Whatever I can to see you smile Hinata." I said truthfully.

Before I could do anything, she had lifted up her head and brought her lips to mine in a chaste kiss. I sat there stiff with shock. What? My mental alarms were ringing in full blast and it took awhile to concentrate when she pulled back.

"Hinata?"

"W-will y-you take it aw-way? T-the pain?" He shoulders shook and she stared me in the eyes and her voice sounded like she was crying without the tears. "T-take it away." She begged me. Her eyes boring into mine.

She was in pain. Physically from her dad. Mentally from years of abuse and from Gaara skipping out on her. I couldn't leave her to could I? What do I do?

"K-Kiba. Do-don't leave m-me t-o!" She buried her head in my chest before she lifted her head back up and brought her mouth closer to mine. I pushed her away then.

"K-Kib-" She looked a little hurt.

"Are you sure?" I said quickly cutting her off.

"Any-thing to m-make it g-o away. Any-thing to f-feel again. T-truly f-eel." I glanced at her arm. Never that way. Then I looked back to her eyes. They were so lost and hurt.

"Then," I paused. What was I going to do? I loved this girl, yes, but could I do that? Could I do this? Love her like that? Then I gave up my battle. Hinata was a beauty to me, a friend, a sister, my mind was made up. "I'll do anything for you princess."

She leaned in again but this time I complied. Lifting her chin gently with my own hand I brought her lips to mine and kissed her back. Pulling her into my body like a puzzle. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her in more with my hand behind her head. A chaste kiss that swelled up my heart. I did love her. I truly loved her. I held her closer to me.

She kissed me back, and this was the part that almost made me cry. Like a kiss to the ice queen herself, her lips though they kissed me back with full force lacked passion, lacked…everything. Like kissing the dead.

#####

Yeah, I'm sure ya'll want to go out and destroy me. Ehehehe….this made me sad writing it. Doesn't help that right at the end of this a song played on my playlist, a sad song about two people who loved each other were torn apart by war. Both died. Sad song made this even sadder! (Anyone heard the song Paper Plane? sung by: Rin and Len Kagamine, that song)

I'm not saying anyone will die! Lol. I hate character deaths.

Please review :) thank you for reading.

~Signing off Slye~