from skybluescramble:

...and another chapter.

Thanks to my proofreader, Irrevocable Truth for everything. And to you who like my fic, voted it as your favorite and left reviews: Seirin, Innocent's Sorrow (long time no seeeee :D i'm really happy that you left me THAT many reviews! *bearhug*), winterkaguya, cupid17, cheng, xiLynnx, Jensniffer, your fan, prilly55, Sailordeedlit, B.A.K11, tomoyo-amethyst, SnowCharms, cainat06, Pooroxification, Shanaa12, chiharu-tanaka, krazypig91, tarepanda, LadyMidnightGuardian, violintantei-sama, hikarihayashi-chan, Liska, Fuyumi-chan and Krissy (you left me double reviews :D)

Really, thank you.

Enjoy the fic !

Reviews = LOVE.

Cause your reviews make my determination to finish this piece grows stronger :)

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DISCLAIMER:

Noooooot miiiiiiiine ~ okay?

(really, writing this 'disclaimer' thingy is getting annoying day by day)

::The Proposal::

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SUMMARY:

Tomoyo knew what he was suffering: fear.

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CHAPTER #14: No More Pain

THE KINOMOTOS and Li Syaoran arrived in Japan by the next day, at 04:00am. The one who informed them about this misfortune was Akizuki Nakuru. She decided to volunteer herself in calling Sakura because Eriol was so busy taking care of everything that related to hospital bill and she thought it would be too painful for Tomoyo to tell her best friend that God had just taken her pretty little angel.

"This can be a very rare phenomenon," Spinel said when it saw Nakuru waiting impatiently for Sakura pick up the call. "I am really impressed. Perhaps you're not that stupid, Ruby Moon."

"Oh, just shut up." She snapped.

Precisely like a Kinomoto Sakura would do, the Card Mistress was panicked head over heels about Tomoyo. She instantly dragged Syaoran and all of her family back home, never ceasing to voice out her apologies to Syaoran's family until his mother told her that the Li clan was really okay with her sudden decision. "Emergency is an emergency," Syaoran's mother said in understanding. "We can work on the marriage at a different time."

The airplane landed safely at dawn, and they rushed to the hospital, not wanting to waste time.

TOMOYO watched as Eriol talked to Kirishima—his attorney—who came to tell them how sorry he was about their loss. She was only three meters away, but somehow she had no interest to eavesdrop their conversation.

"I'll contact you later, Sir." Eriol stood up, ready to shake hands.

"Never mind," Kirishima replied. "It's not that strict, Mr. Hiiragizawa. As long as we don't take this matter... well, too seriously."

Were they talking about the agreement? Tomoyo wondered.

It could be... couldn't it?

But Tomoyo must admit that she hated it when her thoughts remembered the contract—or deal, whatever—they made several months ago.

Will Eriol leave Japan again, along with Nakuru and Spinel?

Do they have to be separated after this is over?

Do I find myself perfectly fine with it?

Those questions floated inside Tomoyo's mind, mixed up with her deep sorrow of losing a daughter. She felt her head was going to explode. If she was a computer, her CPU had just received too much input to be processed together, and she would display an error at any time. Yup, perhaps it was the best illustration of what she suffered now.

But then things happened so fast and unexpected: Tomoyo heard several footsteps coming closer, then a squeaky scream, before her sight was completely blocked by fluffy brown hair. Someone dashed to her and hugged her so tight it was almost hard to breathe.

"Tomoyo! Tomoyo! Gosh... I'm glad you're okay!"

"S-Sakura?" Gasping, Tomoyo struggled to free herself from her best friend's hug... no, she was strangling her instead of hugging.

"Oh Tomoyo-chan... I'm so sorry to hear the news..." Sakura finally loosened her grip on Tomoyo's neck, giving her a chance to look around and see Sakura's dad, Touya, Syaoran, and Yukito. Fujitaka looked as though he had already guessed this was going to happen—just like Touya; even though he had lost his power completely, Tomoyo could tell that his sense for 'things' was still sharp. Yukito just smiled politely when their eyes met, and Syaoran...

Syaoran.

He looked so tense. His jaw was tightly closed, and he held his fists beside his body with so much force until his arm muscles were perfectly seen. Tomoyo went alert. This wasn't going to be a peaceful meeting.

"Oh. Hi, Sakura-chan. Good morning, Mr. Fujitaka..." Eriol got to his feet, approaching them. "You too, Syaoran-kun..."

But before he could take the next step, Syaoran marched forward.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, SON OF A BTCH!"

DHUUUAAAAK!

"Hoeeeeeee!"

"Eriol! Syaoran!"

Again, so many things happened in the blink of an eye. Syaoran hit Eriol full in the face until the Sorcerer fell against the table, making a loud cracking noise as it broke into two. Not satisfied, Syaoran grabbed the collar of Eriol's shirt, his eyes burning with rage.

"Explain!" he shouted, pulling Eriol up. "How dare you... how dare you!"

Eriol didn't fight back. He let Syaoran explode; punching, yelling, beating him. Soon it turned out to be an uproar. Sakura was screaming hysterically to stop Syaoran; nurses and paramedics came from everywhere; Tomoyo stunned in her spot.

"Sir, please stop!" one of the doctors finally made her way towards the two men.

"BACK OFF!" Syaoran roared, then focused himself on Eriol again. He completely ignored all the people watching them with fear, curiosity and excitement, as if they were now watching a drama show. "Leave her, Hiiragizawa. I won't let you lay a finger on her again. You hear me? Touch her and you're dead."

"Sir, this is a hospital! Your behavior disturb other patients..."

"Syaoran, stop it!"

"Answer me, Hiiragizawa! ANSWER ME!"

And for the first time, Eriol responded. "I refuse."

"What?"

Not only Syaoran was surprised. Everyone seemed to stop moving, and their surroundings became so quiet.

"I refuse," said Eriol, this time more clearly. He yanked away Syaoran's grip and faced him properly. "I have my responsibility towards Tomoyo. I refuse to leave her as if nothing happened."

"What responsibility, huh?" Syaoran grunted between gritted teeth. He was ready to punch Eriol's face again. "You didn't even marry her! Stop being a hypocrite, Hiiragizawa!"

"Sir..." the doctor hadn't given up. "If you may take your leave... we're in a hospital.."

Unfortunately, no one there seemed to pay any attention to what the female doctor had told them.

"I'm not just being nice!" Eriol shouted back to Clow Reed's descendant. He'd lost his calm manner. His emotions went up, filling his blood vessels and burning his soul, ripping his heart apart as he accepted the truth. "I crushed her life into pieces and I want to fix it! I have to settle things right! I LOVE HER!"

Sakura gasped.

Tomoyo's heart skipped a beat.

Touya, Yukito, Fujitaka, and the majority of people who were watching the fuss stared at Eriol in awe. Syaoran looked like he was just slapped.

"I'm not done with you. Not yet." He finally said before walking off.

"I AM really sorry for making such a scene," Tomoyo apologized to the hospital staffs as she and Sakura went to take care of the bill. But then they were told that Eriol had already paid everything. Tomoyo sighed; she still felt slightly uncomfortable because of what happened an hour ago.

"It's alright," one of the nurses, who seemed just several years older than Tomoyo smiled. "We should be the one to apologize for being unable to save your daughter. We're terribly sorry."

Tomoyo smiled. "You've worked hard."

Then she left with Sakura, back to the main entrance where everyone gathered. "Where's Syaoran?" Sakura asked, realizing that his figure was nowhere to be seen. "Is he still inside?"

"He's already left," Touya replied. "That brat said he had something to do at his apartment."

"Syaoran is not a brat!" protested Sakura, stepping on her brother's foot, causing Touya to groan.

Tomoyo smiled watching them. Some things never change, huh?

"We must prepare a funeral," Fujitaka said.

"Yes." Tomoyo nodded. "But I want it to be peaceful... only us is enough. No need to tell other people."

Sakura looked concerned. "Really?"

Another nod.

"Alright, if it's your choice." Fujitaka took a long breath. "I will help."

"Me too!" Sakura held Tomoyo's hand. "And I'm sure you will as well, right? Brother?"

Touya smiled. "Of course."

"You can depend on us, Tomoyo-chan," said Yukito wholeheartedly.

Tomoyo was about to cry. "Thank you... all of you."

From a distance, Hiiragizawa Eriol stood up against the wall, his arms folded. Both of his dark pupils were fixed at the young Daidouji, in his handsome face sculpted an unreadable expression.

THE GRAVEYARD couldn't be more quiet than this: that was Eriol's thought as he accompanied Tomoyo, who still didn't want to leave a particular grave stone with 'Hiiragizawa Mika' written on it. The funeral had ended an hour ago, only attended by Sakura's family, Kero (now since everyone knows the story, Kero didn't have to imitate a doll in front of Fujitaka and Touya), Yukito, Syaoran, Spinel and Nakuru. Syaoran was so silent, he didn't speak at all and his stare to Eriol was still unpleasant. But Tomoyo didn't really pay attention, she alone sunk in her own world of mixed emotions. As though the chill of winter was nothing, Tomoyo remained there like a statue. Her long hair danced in the air as the cold wind blew. Taking a deep breath, Tomoyo moved closer to Mika's grave before squatting beside it.

She caressed the stone affectionately while holding back the urge to burst into tears again. Tomoyo knew Eriol was standing behind her back. She also understood the reason why he didn't leave. She knew, he too, had had the feeling of losing someone important to him. Perhaps this was a different case compared with what he suffered, but... losing is losing, after all.

Somehow Tomoyo felt a pang of guilt.

She had said to him so many accusations, she didn't even care about his feelings. She didn't even want to care. Eriol lost Mizuki Kaho, the woman he loved so dearly for years. He also lost his normal life, for being an Incarnation of Clow Reed, the most powerful wizard in the world. Perhaps, actually no one could ever understand the feeling of losing more than him.

Yeah, she should have realized it sooner...

Tomoyo stood up, turning her back so she faced the Londoner. Their eyes met, and she could tell those dark pupils had the same sorrow as hers.

"Let's go home," Eriol said.

She obediently nodded. "Okay."

Eriol rode their way back without saying anything. Both of them were enveloped in a comfortable silence. He hesitated for awhile in a fork; if he turned right it would be the direction to her rented house, yet if he took left, they would head to his manor. After a quick debate with himself, Eriol decide to take the left road.

To his surprise, Tomoyo didn't protest.

They arrived at Hiiragizawa manor only to find out that Nakuru and Spinel weren't home. Eriol found a piece of note taped to the fridge.

"Nakuru and Spinel went for groceries," he told her.

"Oh," was all Tomoyo said in reply.

"Why don't you stay for dinner? They'd love to."

"Okay."

Eriol knitted his eyebrows. He was starting to worry about her. Tomoyo's face was so pale and looked exhausted, the glow in her amethyst orbs were gone. She must be so heartbroken, he said mentally. But I cannot stand watching her like this...

"You wait here. I'll be right back." He walked away in order to find some clothes for Tomoyo. Eriol didn't want her to be down all day long by letting her wear the same outfit she wore at the funeral. He tried to open Nakuru's room, lucky she didn't lock it up. Well... even though he could always do whatever he wanted by magic, Eriol hated it when he had to use his power for trivial stuffs.

Meanwhile, Tomoyo, who was previously in the living room, started to roam around the manor. She peered through the slighly open door of the library, and stepped in. She watched the high bookshelves in awe, and soon her fingertips ran along the back of some thick books as she read their title.

Then her eyes caught the sight of the Throne of Evil. It was placed in the middle of the room, and arranged so that someone who sat there would be welcomed by the scenery of the garden which was perfectly exposed by a huge window. She walked closer, pulling the curtain to take a look outside. The garden was beautiful. Eriol really knew how to put decorative plants, Tomoyo said inwardly, chuckling.

But suddenly she saw something. A bundle of paper on the nearest table. As curiosity hit her, Tomoyo picked it up—and her heart sank immediately.

It was their contract. The agreement she made with Eriol months ago, under Mr. Kirishima's nose. She was so sure back then, but now she questioned why she was feeling a slight regret. She read the lines written on the first page of it, and her chest tightened uncomfortably. I should stop, Tomoyo told herself. I cannot bear reading this...

But why?

Why was her chest clenching?

Why did it hurt seeing the document they made together months ago?

With Mika gone, will I have to lose another person in my life again?

Why am I always the one left behind?

"Tomoyo!"

Her ears caught a voice.

"Tomoyo, where are you?" It was Eriol's.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the door creaked open, revealing Hiiragizawa Eriol carrying some clothes in his hand. "Ah. There you are."

"Ng." She nodded in a affirming way.

"Change into this," he commanded, putting Nakuru's clothes on the table. "I'll wash your clothes."

"Strange, isn't it?" said Tomoyo, looking out the window. The sun was getting down to the horizon, creating beautiful shades of colors in the sky. "Mika.. she isn't here anymore," her free hand crept towards her stomach, "but we were unable to bring her home with us, either."

Eriol cleared his throat uneasily.

"Tomoyo..."

"I wonder how it would be if we were back here with Mika," Tomoyo said dreamily, her eyes glistening. "We had a deal, right? I'll give the baby to you, and since you're busy.. you'll perhaps give her to another family. Those who aren't blessed with children. It's written here." She looked down to the bundle of paper in her right hand, sighing. "I thought I didn't want her. I cared only for my own life, jobs and such. But now I think... if Mika was present with us, I would do anything to keep her. I wouldn't give her to someone for whatever reason."

He was speechless.

"If that happened... I would've been causing you a lot of trouble, ne, Eriol?" She turned her head to his direction, flashing a bitter smile. "But God loves her more than me. He took her away... knowing that I would only get rid of her from my sight."

No, Eriol felt as if he was stabbed right through the heart.

I would like to keep her too...

I would like both of you to stay...

"But you didn't have to lie," she added, and Eriol's brows automatically twitched.

"What lie?"

"The one that you said at the hospital."

He froze for a moment.

"You almost gave Sakura a heart attack, you know? And Syaoran's facial expression... You didn't have to tell them such a lie." Tomoyo went on. "It would be impossible for you to love me."

Eriol took a step forward.

"...I didn't."

"Eh...?"

"I didn't lie."

Another inch closer.

"E-Eriol... you are too close..." Tomoyo shifted uncomfortably, but her back nudged the trellis. Cursing her stupidity under her breath, she felt so cornered. Lifting her face up so that she could see his face, Tomoyo found her breath catch in her throat as she recognized desperation and misery written there.

"...and I can get rid of the deal anytime."

"W-what—"

Too late.

For the second time, in an unexpected timing, Eriol took her lips. It wasn't full of passion, neither desire, yet she could feel his need and urgency. The moment their lips met, Tomoyo knew what he was suffering: fear.

He was afraid of being lonely.

She could tell.

Because she felt the exact same thing. Within that kiss, he shared his despair with her. His wrenched heart of losing a daughter, his pain, his weaknesses. He was dominating her and it caused her a breathing problem, but right now Tomoyo didn't really care. Tears flowed down her cheeks—she couldn't control it anymore. Vaguely, Tomoyo felt his large hand gripping the other side of the contract she was holding, and the next thing she heard was a ripping sound.

SAKURA stared at Syaoran, who purposely didn't stop walking here and there, putting this and that stuffs as though he was doing the cleaning. Just like the day before, Syaoran was quickly lost from sight after funeral. So, on the way home with her family and Yukito, Sakura pleaded her father to drop her by Syaoran's apartment. They needed to talk.

"So you're mad." She pointed out.

"What? No."

"Yes, you are."

"NO." Syaoran emphasized the word.

"Don't be silly."

"I'm not mad at you."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Maybe not at me, but absolutely at Eriol-kun."

Syaoran went rigid. He rolled his fists until his knuckles turned white to suppress anger that seemed to rise up, only because Sakura mentioned the name of that Clow Reed's incarnation brat. His way of speaking became harsh all of a sudden.

"What do you want to say?"

The Card Mistress let out a heavy breath for the umpteenth time. "I understand your feeling, Syaoran-kun. I know Tomoyo-chan is like a sister for you, but please don't be mad at Eriol-kun... He's a good man! He will never do something bad to Tomoyo-chan..."

Syaoran snorted. "Then what was the fck with that pregnancy?"

"It was—" Sakura tried to explain but once again he cut her off.

"Wait a minute. Don't tell me you knew about this crap all along?" his voice rose up, shaking his head in disbelief.

"It's not like that. I-I-I just..."

"I can't believe you were hiding something from me, Sakura."

With that, Syaoran turned his back as he headed to his room.

"Wait! Syaoran, please!" In panic she called him. "I-It was my fault that Tomoyo got involved in such a situation... and Eriol is only helping her..! He is only doing his responsibility... please don't hate him! It was my fault!"

Dumbstruck, Syaoran chose to listen to the truth.

"I'll give you thirty minutes. Speak," he commanded.

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to be continued.