Chapter 14: Iago
A/N: Jasper's POV in the next chapter. This one's in Bella's POV. The chapter title is an Othello reference. Song for the chapter: "Uninvited" by Alanis Morissette.
By now, I was used to waking up in Jasper's protective embrace. I even spent one painful and awkward night in Irina's arms... Somehow, I just wasn't ready to wake up and find Alice sitting next to me.
"Alice! What…? What's going on? Where's Jasper?"
"He's out hunting, I think. I'm not exactly sure."
"You aren't sure? Alice, can't you see him?"
"I'm focusing on something else, right now, Bella. I'm not watching Jasper. Whatever he's doing, he'll be fine, and I'm sure he'll be back, soon."
Alice had yet to look at me. She was just sitting statue-still beside me, staring off into space. I knew that look, though.
"What are you watching? You're so focused…?" Alice blinked and finally met my eyes with hers: Pitch black. She was clearly thirsty, but just as clearly preoccupied with something else…
"It's Edward," She said softly. For a moment, I forgot how to breathe. Alice waited patiently, her eyes never leaving my face. When my heart rate steadied, she continued: "I don't want you to panic, Bella, but you need to know this: He's coming here. He should be here within the next ten days or so. I can't see why he's coming, though. That's what I'm looking for. Edward knows my blind spots. He knows what I can and can't see. I can tell he wants to speak with you. I keep seeing you two together in the woods, but it gets fuzzy beyond that."
"W-why would he want to talk to me?" I gasped, despite the knot in my chest. "He doesn't want... I mean, he didn't want… Why?"
"I don't know, Bella," Alice repeated. "That's why Jasper stepped out for a minute. Needless to say, he's not happy… Something wrong, Bella? Other than what I just told you?" The spike in my heart rate must have given me away.
"Um… Sorry, Alice. It's just… We haven't really talked about that, since you've been back. Me and Jasper, I mean..."
"Oh, Bella, don't even start!" Alice interrupted, rolling her eyes slightly. "All those horror stories about girlfriends and ex-girlfriends don't apply, here. I'm the one who had the vision. I saw all this coming, and it's really okay. I'll meet my new mate, soon, too."
"You know who it is?!" I gasped, shocked.
"Not exactly," Alice amended. "I had a new vision, yesterday. For the first time, I got a clear look at his face, and I know his name is Irwin. For now, that's all I have to go on, but that's how I first saw Jasper, so…"
"Soon, though? Do you know when exactly…?"
"No. Sometime within the next couple months, I think. The details aren't set in stone, yet. All that aside, though Bella… Jasper was an important phase of my life. I'll always love him, of course, but he found a better match in you, and I'll find a better match in Irwin. I was what Jasper needed for a while, and he was what I needed, but now our needs have changed. I need… Whatever Irwin has to offer… And Jasper needs you, now."
"And I need him." I whispered, on the verge of tears.
"I know you do," Alice said to me, smiling softly. She pulled me closer to her with one hand and kissed my cheek lightly. "Be good to him, sis," she said. "You both mean a lot to me." After that, Alice stared off into space, again. I buried my face in my pillow with a heavy sigh. Edward left me, and I chose Jasper. How could I face Edward, now…?
When Jasper wasn't back, three hours later, Alice told me to go meet Charlie at the diner for lunch. "Rare steak," she reminded me. "Don't let yourself get too thirsty." She said that while bounding out my window and diving into the shadows, avoiding the unusual amount of sunlight outside. That piqued my curiosity. If my thirst was growing steadily worse, and my gifts were growing stronger… I walked over to my window and held my scarred wrist in the direct sunlight.
"Carlisle will probably want to see this," I murmured to myself when my scarred skin glistened like snow in the sunlight. It wasn't full-on vampire sparkle, but the effect was definitely too conspicuous for other humans to see. I would have to cover up all my scars.
Despite the sun, it was now early February Forks, so I didn't look too conspicuous when I walked into the diner wearing a lightweight turtleneck sweater and gloves. Charlie was already waiting at our usual table. I started toward him, and that's when the trouble began: Walking by a couple full tables along the wall, I caught a whiff of something that made my throat burn. It was a very pleasant smell, but I couldn't put a name to it. I just knew I wanted to taste it. I looked down at the tables, wondering what food the people there were eating… But they were still reading their menus…
"Steak, please," I said to the waitress standing conveniently close to Charlie's table. "Rare… And a side salad, please," I added, to give some illusion of normalcy. I sat down across from Charlie, deliberately putting as much distance between us as possible, while still sharing the same table. I fleetingly thought back to those first weeks with Edward and realized how difficult those days in the cafeteria really must have been for him… For all the Cullens, really… Here, I wasn't even a true vampire, yet, and I was already dodging humans due to my thirst. And Jasper… Suddenly, I had a whole new appreciation for his struggle, and I loved him even more for it.
"Same, but make mine medium," Charlie said to the waitress. When she was out of earshot, Charlie raised an inquisitive eyebrow at me. "Since when are you much of a steak-eater, Bells?" He asked. "Much less rare steaks… Medium is as red as I'll go." Thankfully, I already knew how to answer that one:
"Last night, I told Carlisle about how tired I've been lately, and he said to increase my protein and iron intake. Rare steaks are supposedly a better source for both, as opposed to overcooked versions. Don't know if it's true…" I tried to add that last part on casually and noncommittally. I was getting better at lying, but I was still learning the real art of it. Emmett made sure to give me one key pointer: Always water down a lie with something true or neutral. At any rate, Charlie seemed to buy it:
"I guess I should have thought of that," he laughed. "You still won't catch me eating a steak that's still kicking, but I guess it makes sense. I won't judge."
"Sure you won't, Dad," I said, rolling my eyes as a way of avoiding eye contact. "That's not your job, anyway."
"Hey, don't you start on my job, Bells!" Charlie laughed, again. "I've been working hard, lately, and you know it. That bear is still causing trouble, after all…" Charlie continued on with his update, but he lost me at the word 'bear'. Poor, oblivious human. If only he knew…
Unkindness may do much, and his unkindness may defeat my life, but never taint my love.
I opened to a random page of Othello, just for something to do while I waited for Jasper to come. It was almost twilight outside, and I had yet to see him. I found Desdemona's monologue and that line jumped out at me.
"Please don't tell me you're lingering over the death scene, again, darling Desdemon," Jasper said softly as he leapt in through my window. I forced a smile at his little joke and dropped the book letting it fall shut on the bed beside me. Jasper walked forward and held out his hand for me to take, pulling me gently to my feet when I did so. "I'm sorry if my behavior upset you, Bella," he said in earnest. "I'm just worried… And angry, though not with you. When Alice told me… All I could think of was how he hurt you, and how much I wanted to prevent such a thing from happening, again. I don't know what Alice may or may not have told you, but I went looking for Edward, trying to intercept him before he could get here. After a few hours of running, though… I decided I had no right to keep you and Edward apart. It needs to be your choice. Though I may not like it, I won't interfere with that…"
That was a lot to process. So, to buy myself time, I took a step forward and buried my face in Jasper's stone chest. He wrapped his arms around me automatically, and I just let him feel everything I was feeling, knowing words would fail me. Still, after a moment, I felt the need to try:
"I can't say I'm surprised, Jasper. I'm not angry, either. I understand it… But I am glad you stopped. I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I know I need to…" I was aware of Jasper's grip on me growing slowly tighter, and I knew why, even without him telling me. The problem was that I didn't know what the right thing to say to him was. So, I settled for letting him feel all my love for him. Words might betray me, but my feelings can't lie, as he knows all too well.
"I know you do," was all he whispered to me, after a moment. Apparently, even he was at a loss for what to say…
Eight days later, I was sitting in the Cullen living room, feeling unbearably out-of-place. All the vampires around me were walking on eggshells. They all seemed to think I would shatter into a million pieces if they so much as breathed on me. Not much was being said aloud, but I didn't really need Jasper's help to figure out what everyone was feeling. Esme's face hid nothing. She was watching me with open concern and pain in her eyes. Emmett kept clenching and unclenching his massive fists, seemingly subconsciously, and he was clearly agitated. Tanya was sitting alone by the back windows, staring off into space. And Alice… Had a headache, by now. I didn't think such a thing was possible for vampires, but that's the conclusion anyone looking at her would draw: She was massaging her temples with her fingers, her brow was furrowed in concentration, and she seemed uncharacteristically fatigued. Honestly, her behavior was the most unnerving of all…
"Alice, please just stop trying," I said softly, after a few minutes. "You're clearly getting nowhere. For all we know, you're having so much trouble seeing Edward because one of the wolves is following him… He's due to be here any minute. We'll just have to go into this one blind."
"I can't do that, Bella," Alice half-growled, half-grumbled. "Yes, Edward is due here any minute, and we still have no idea why. That is not okay…"
Just then, an idea came to mind. A part of me felt awful for thinking so deceptively… After all, this was Edward, not Victoria… But my gut was telling me to be prepared, so I had to follow through: "Alice, can I borrow your cellphone?" That got everyone's attention.
"What do you need it for, Bella?" She asked me even as she darted across the room to retrieve her phone. Even as she handed it to me, she prodded me further: "What are you thinking?"
"Don't ask, Alice," I responded quickly, tucking the phone into my jacket pocket. "Don't try to see it, either. I don't want Edward to know what I'm doing, and I haven't practiced with my shield enough to block all of you from him consistently and reliably. You just need to trust me, okay?"
"Bella," Jasper started to argue, but I held up a silencing hand.
"Please, Jasper," I pleaded. "Don't fight me on this. I know what I'm doing. Trust me."
"It's not a matter of trust, Bella," Jasper began, again. "Of course I trust you, but Edward…"
"Is here," Alice murmured and the whole room fell silent. "He's a mile off. He'll be within earshot in a second…" I jumped to my feet and ran over to Jasper, kissing his cheek and giving his cool hand a light squeeze.
"Trust me," I whispered once more. Less than thirty seconds later, there was a tentative knock on the door. Low warning growls filled the room, but Carlisle gave everyone a staying glance and went to open the door.
"Edward, it's good to see you, again," Carlisle said conventionally as he let Edward in. "It's been a while. Esme and I were starting to worry." A small part of my mind noted the fact that Carlisle only said 'Esme and I', but such little details were lost on me when Edward came into full view.
"Hello everyone," He said to the room, though his bright gold eyes looked only at me. "Hello, Bella," he said gently. For a moment, I stared speechlessly back at him: He looked just as I remembered him. Barely a hair out of place. Somehow, that observation caused me pain. The nearly healed hole in my chest tingled and throbbed. Was I really so inconsequential to him that he could appear so entirely unaffected?
"Hello, Edward," I murmured despondently, suddenly not so confident in myself. How was I going to do this? For some reason, Edward smiled faintly.
"Bella, are you unintentionally shielding everyone, or should I be worried?" He said casually. I blinked and, for a moment, my mind went completely blank.
"You knew?" Jasper suddenly growled, jumping to his feet while his dark gold eyes went completely black with cold fury. "You knew she could project it?"
"I've known for quite some time, Jasper," Edward said flatly. "That's exactly why I'm here. I know Bella is a Saturno, and I know I need to explain why I left her so suddenly, despite that knowledge. If it's all the same to you, though, I think Bella deserves to hear the truth, first? Bella," he said, his eyes still on me, "I know how you must be feeling right now, but please come walk with me for a minute? I know I hurt you, but please trust me enough to let me explain?" Jasper growled lowly and took a step toward Edward, but I ran three steps forward, to put myself between the two vampires.
"Don't, Jasper!" I choked out, my throat inconveniently tight with emotion. "Please, just let me speak to him!" I placed a staying hand on Jasper's chest and he gradually relaxed under my touch. He looked down at me and, for a moment, I was lost in his passion-filed gaze… And then it was gone. Jasper seemed to shut down right before my eyes. His expression went blank and he stepped back from my hand, detaching himself both physically and emotionally. It would have been less painful if he'd punched me in the stomach. I drew a shaky breath and fought back the tears in my eyes that threatened to brim over, and I turned to face Edward.
"Okay," I whispered, taking a tentative step toward him. "Let's go… Talk, I mean." Edward held out his hand for me to take, but I shook my head once, refusing the offer. Instead, I took a few more steps past him and led the way back outside. Edward followed me silently, and no one tried to stop us. For a minute or so, we walked in silence, and I used the time to clear my head as much as possible. The chilly February weather helped, though I had to watch out for ice. I casually tucked both of my hands in my pockets as we walked, and my right hand brushed against Alice's cellphone.
"Are you looking for a specific place, Bella?" Edward softly inquired, after another minute or so. "I just wanted to speak to you out of earshot of the others. There's no need to tire yourself with a long hike, unless that's just your preference."
"No, here is fine," I said, trying to sound calm and collected, though I knew Edward could hear my heart pounding. He didn't mention it, so I assumed he was writing it all off as understandable apprehension, luckily for me. Trying to keep my movement minimal, I blindly felt the keypad on Alice's phone with my thumb. When I found what I hoped was the send button, I held it down for a couple seconds and prayed that the last number Alice called wasn't a currently vacant house in Alaska.