14. Past and Present
Rod looked at his watch as he entered the school cafeteria on Thursday. He was late. And the place was crowded. Apparently the entire law school had decided to eat-in today. Fortunately his height allowed him to easily survey the room. It took him a minute before he finally spotted Mac sitting at a corner table already eating with Cooper and Carl.
As he approached the table he saw that the three were engaged in a rather animated discussion. This wasn't unusual. One thing he had already learned about law school was that it turned argument into a game–or rather a mental exercise. The expression of differing opinions, he was learning, need not become personal in nature or a point of actual contention between participants. Mac had been right, legal advocacy really wasn't about right and wrong answers. It was about positioning, persuasion, analysis and application... and these three, Rod knew, were already very good at it. He hoped some of their abilities and insight would rub off on him.
"Hey, sorry I'm late."
The three looked up and greeted him, surprised at his sudden appearance. Taking a seat next to Mackenzie, Rod reached out to lightly squeeze her shoulder and momentarily make eye contact with her. Then looking at their plates, he realized he was starved.
"Don't let me interrupt your discussion. I'm going to grab my lunch. Does anybody want anything else?"
"Not me," answered Cooper.
"I'm fine," added Carl, as Rod's gaze shifted to him.
Rod saved the best for last. "How about you, kiddo? Piece of cheesecake?"
As he intended, his allusion to cheesecake resulted in a knowing look from her. "Maybe later..." she responded with just a hint of teasing in her eyes.
As she intended, her response resulted in a very cocky grin from him.
Carl and Cooper watched the exchange with amused satisfaction. They both adored Mac and believed that Rod was good for her–that they were good for each other.
"I'll be back in a few," Rod told the group as he stood up. Before he left, however, he leaned down from behind Mackenzie, and placing a hand on each shoulder, softly whispered to her, "Have I told you yet today how beautiful you are?" He felt her body sigh and saw a hint of a blush appear as she turned slightly towards him. He lingered a minute, enjoying the physical sensation he always experienced when they were so close. Standing up straight again, Rod allowed his right hand to lightly trace a path from her shoulder blade up along her neck before he finished with a little tug on her ear.
Mac felt like her skin was on fire. Somehow he always managed to catch her off-guard with even the simplest display of public intimacy. Though she pretended otherwise, she still wasn't comfortable with it and was almost embarrassed by it. She recognized, however, that the real source of the embarrassment was internal. Deep down, she was afraid to believe that a guy like Rod could genuinely find her attractive and desirable... and she was worried that others would share her belief.
"Is Rod limping?" Cooper asked Mac.
His question brought her out of her reverie. She turned around and couldn't help but chuckle a little. Rod was definitely favoring the leg he had hit with the oar. Yesterday he had, she realized, yet again surprised her. It hadn't bothered him at all that she could do something better than him. Her expertise and knowledge posed no threat to him. Rather he had been both playful and self-deprecating. In accepting her direction, he had manifested a determination to succeed that was unaccompanied by any need or inclination to either show her up or put her down.
"Yeah... he's limping alright."
The whimsy in Mac's expression piqued Carl's curiosity. "So... are you going to tell us about it?"
Mac knew she shouldn't tell them. Rod may have been a good sport about it with her... but he would probably hate being embarrassed in front of the guys–especially Cooper, who never forgot anybody else's tales of humiliation. Rod would hear about this for years to come.
Nonetheless, she just couldn't help herself. It was a comedy of errors that had to be told. "Rod went rowing with me early yesterday morning. It was a totally new experience for him. He thought it would be simple... no problem for a super jock. I told him it's not as easy as it looks, but you know Rod."
Both boys began to chuckle. Mac had tried in vain during their first-year to get them to row with her. She almost had them talked into it on one occasion. However, they were smart enough to go down to the boathouse beforehand and investigate what it actually would entail. They took one look at how long, skinny, and flimsy the boats were and immediately determined that there was not a chance in hell they would ever accompany her on the river. Cooper had decided that he'd stick to sports that either involved a ball... or at least a vessel that was sea-worthy. Carl's ideas about sports, on the other hand, centered mostly on chess; and he'd discovered nothing about rowing that would have caused him to change his mind.
"Mac," Cooper complained, "you know you can't leave us hanging... Come on, tell your brothers everything."
Mac momentarily winced with indecision. She really shouldn't do this to him, but... "Well, when we walked into the boathouse he was all cocky... until he saw the boats. I swear he took one look at 'em and about had a heart attack. He just stopped dead in his tracks and stared. I can only imagine what he was thinking. Then once we got outside... he lost his balance trying to sit down in the boat. He almost tipped over, dropped both oars and came within inches of smacking his head on the dock."
"You're making this up." Cooper could hardly contain himself, thinking this was just too good to be true.
"I'm not... I swear. I almost wet my pants I was laughing so hard." Just describing the incident brought back a host of emotions for Mac and she started laughing again. Her reaction, of course, inevitably caused Carl and Cooper to join in.
When Mac was finally able to catch her breath and wipe the tears from her eyes, she went on, "But that's not all. Once, we finally got out on the water... in trying to drive backwards with his legs, he almost tipped over again and smacked his knee with an oar while trying to regain his balance. And that, I'm sure, is why he's limping. He must have a bruise the size of a tennis ball. I managed not to laugh then but he just looked so..." Mac couldn't control herself any longer and lost it again.
Rod returned to the table to see all three of them dissolved in laughter. Cooper looked at him with a wicked smirk. "Hey champ... heard you almost drowned yesterday?"
Rod saw Mackenzie turn slightly towards him and briefly he caught her expression. She looked suspiciously like the proverbial cat that had swallowed the canary. However, she very quickly turned away and began to focus exclusively on the contents of her lunch.
He shook his head with a knowing grin. "Yeah... twice. Anybody want to see? The bruise is about the same color as my car." He put down his tray, placed his injured leg on his chair, and pretended to reach for his pant leg.
Cooper leaned back in his chair and raised his arms in a mock stop sign. "Hold on champ... we don't want to lose our appetite from being forced to look at your lily white skin."
"Ah Coop... can I help it if I lack your's and Carl's physical prowess and innate sex appeal?"
Cooper laughed with derision. "Oh please... Mac, did I ever tell you the reputation Rod had in high school and college?"
"Now Cooper, you know that Mac and Carl would be totally bored by my experiences as an Altar Boy..." Rod's tone was light but he gave Cooper a pleading look.
Of course, this was entirely the wrong thing to do as Cooper preferred his victims be as uncomfortable as possible. "Right... Altar Boy. No, I'm talking about the rich stud who used to cruise the streets of Greenwich in a souped-up 1965 black Mustang Convertible."
Rod shook his head as Cooper continued, "Whatever happened to that car, anyway?"
"It's at home in the garage." Rod still loved that car. He and his dad had restored it themselves. It took them two years starting when he was fourteen. Rod sensed Cooper was far from being done with him. Maybe, he thought, if I just play along for a few minutes, he'll get bored. It was, after all, just a game to Coop who really didn't believe half of what he said.
"Oh right," Cooper opined, "it's just not as sophisticated as the Porsche."
"No... just more sentimental." Rod had great memories of the time he spent with his father on that car. "So does anybody need a refill?" He had changed his mind about playing along and began to stand, glass in hand, hoping he could make a timely exit.
"No way," Carl said, "we want to hear more." He saw this as the perfect opportunity for some payback from the torture he had suffered at his birthday party. Besides he had never seen Rod look anything but totally comfortable.
Rod didn't know whether to stay or leave. But he quickly decided he'd better stay. He sat back down and drained the remainder of his Coke. He knew what was coming next. He was very aware of the general perception: That he was a spoiled, playboy who had everything handed to him and who had never worked for anything. In truth, he wasn't that guy–he never had been. It had just been easier to live with those perceptions than it would have been to try and convince people otherwise. Besides, so far as reputations went, it was a pretty useful one for a young guy to have. It made him popular and took a lot of pressure off him... so he had gone along with it during high school and college. However, his biggest fear now was that Mackenzie would see him that way. He knew what Cooper was going to claim and he could only imagine the similar things Stanton had been saying to her for weeks.
When he mentally rejoined the conversation he heard Cooper saying, "the only person to ever be elected Student Body President twice, winner of 5-6 State Championships, and there wasn't a girl in the school regardless of grade that wasn't totally in love with this guy. It was a 'babe of the week' contest with him. And college, was exactly the same–always a ton of women fighting to do his laundry, cook his meals, write his term papers. This guy never had to do anything for himself..."
Rod was afraid to look over at Mackenzie. She'd been unusually quiet. He could only imagine what she must be thinking and none of it was good. Instead he chose to laugh, hoping to derail Cooper from any further humiliation. "Cooper... that is absolutely ridiculous. Everyone at this table knows that it is you who is the real babe magnet. The rest of us could never hope to live up to your reputation."
Mac smiled slightly and Carl laughed, telling Cooper, "He's got you there, Young."
Cooper grinned. "I hold my own..." He pointed his head towards Rod. "But I was never in this guy's league."
Mac knew there had to be truth in Cooper's claims. Mike had repeatedly told her the same story. She'd had an unspoken crush on Cooper during their first-year. But she knew that he–like the other cute and athletic guys in high school and college–would never see her like that, would never be attracted to her or ever look at her as anything but a smart, fun girl who made a great friend. And if Cooper saw her like that... how could Rod really see her any different–especially long term. Particularly when there were always so many eager, cute girls hanging around him at school and in his study groups.
Rod decided he'd had enough. In an attempt to change the subject, he said wryly, "Coop, you are so full of crap... But we did have a lot of fun. Do you remember the time we took all of the tires off the cheerleaders' cars and blamed it on the football team?"
Cooper chuckled. "Yeah... as I recall, we planted the tires in the football locker room, and the coaches made the entire team run extra 100-yard ladders in addition to putting all of the tires back on."
Carl could only shake his head at their antics while Mac just looked at them, trying to decide if they were telling the truth and if so, how they ever got away with it.
Cooper and Rod were now completely ensconced in the past. "What about the time you pounded 20 hotdogs in about 5 minutes during that lunch contest?"
Rod groaned. "Don't remind me. I haven't looked at a hotdog since... Hey, how about the alteration we made to Mrs. Anderson's classroom?"
"I'd forgotten about that... that's a good one." Cooper turned to Mac and Carl. "Mrs. Anderson was this totally uptight English teacher who loved to pile on the homework during Christmas vacation. I mean she would make us read complete novels like Moby Dick or A Tale of Two Cities and then answer hundreds of study questions. Everybody hated her. Anyway, her classroom was centrally located so we used to hold voting for school elections in her room during lunch. One day Rod and I were running elections for homecoming queen–who ended up being Rod's date by the way. So we're sitting there during the latter part of second lunch and suddenly we both notice what she had written in big cut-out letters on a bulletin board across the front of the room: I write to find out what I am thinking about. Well, we looked at each other and decided it was just too good to pass up. We quickly grabbed a couple of chairs and changed it to read: What the hell am I writing about."
Rod picked up telling the rest of the story. "She didn't see it until halfway through the next period, which was a freshman class. She totally exploded and wanted us suspended. Luckily, the principal intervened. But the two of us never got out of the doghouse with her. Only Cooper was a senior so he didn't care. I, on the other hand, had to kill myself the entire next year just to get a semi-decent grade from her."
"Yeah," Cooper realized, "I guess you did end up with the worst of it on that one... But enough from Greenwich, I think it's time we heard from the Hartford delegation. Come on Carl, we want to hear about Mac."
Mac, Carl observed, had turned inward. He knew his friend. She did not like attention turned on her... and she hated to be embarrassed. He shrugged. "There really isn't much to tell–nothing anyways that could compete with your shenanigans. We're much more sober and sophisticated in Hartford."
Mac felt immediate relief. She could always count on Carl.
Cooper grunted. "Now who's full of crap?"
Carl looked at his watch, "Besides, Coop, we're late for that practice round." There was a big moot court competition next week, and they were supposed to help prepare the team members who would be representing the school.
Cooper looked at his own watch. "You're right, we'd better take off."
After the two of them left, Rod went and sat across from Mackenzie. He was worried because she seemed a little distant. "Well, that was totally embarrassing. I hope you know Cooper was totally exaggerating most of that stuff."
"Yeah... Cooper does that."
She didn't look or sound convinced. In fact, she appeared to be someplace else entirely. "What's going on?"
He got no response. He reached out, took one of her hands, and lightly caressed it. He leaned forward slightly and with concern in his eyes said again, "Mac... what's going on?"
"Huh..." Then seeing his look she told him, "Nothing is going on... I'm just distracted by all I've got to do."
He didn't completely buy her explanation but he played along. "Okay. I won't keep you. But what do you want to do this weekend?"
This weekend... Mac had forgotten about Mike. She still hadn't told Rod about Saturday and she dreaded doing it now. She wasn't sure how he was going to react to that news. Frankly, she wasn't sure how she wanted him to react. Part of her hoped he would pitch a small fit because it would prove he really was jealous and didn't want her spending time with another guy–even if they were just friends. "I told Mike that we'd spend all day Saturday catching up on journal work. We're way behind in part because I've been spending so much time with you. And I promised I'd go to a movie and have dinner with him afterwards."
"I see." Rod's tone was flat. In an effort to mask his frustration and maintain a firm grip on his emotions, he reached for his lunch tray. "Well, what about tomorrow night or Sunday?"
"Are you mad?"
He let go of the tray and leaned back. "Would it matter?"
Mac was confused. "What do you mean?"
"What I mean, Mackenzie, is that if I had a problem with you hanging around with Stanton, would you reconsider it?"
"We work together... and I promised him I would."
"Exactly." Though he wanted desperately to tell her to keep her distance from Mike, he couldn't. He didn't know why, but Mackenzie still did not fully trust him. Because of that he had decided that it was critical that he demonstrate his unequivocal trust in her. Moreover, she'd been friends with Stanton for over two years, and he'd been around for a little more than a month. He didn't think Mac would appreciate it if he tried to dictate the terms and conditions of her friendships.
"We're just friends." Mac's tone was sedate.
"I know." He shrugged, his tone lightening which gave him the appearance of being completely at ease with the situation. "Don't worry about it."
"You could come with us..." Mike, she knew, would hate it. But she was more concerned about Rod's feelings.
"Thanks, but I'll pass." There was no way he was going to voluntarily spend another evening with Stanton–even if it meant more time with Mackenzie. He saw enough of him on the basketball court, where even there nothing had changed between them.
Mac wasn't surprised by his refusal. She knew there was a lot of tension between he and Mike. She just didn't know why. She wanted to ask him about it.
Rod, however, didn't give her the chance. "Besides there are some people I've been neglecting that I probably should check in with, too." He smiled weakly. "What about tomorrow night?"
Mac sighed. "I don't know, Rod... I'm not just behind in my journal work, but class, too. I've got a ton of reading to catch up on."
"Hey... I understand. You're not the only one in law school, you know."
She realized how smug she'd sounded. "You're right."
"Is there any reason we can't read together?"
"Only that we never get much school work done when we're together... You're very distracting."
"Thank goodness," he exclaimed. "I was beginning to think you were completely immune to my obvious charms."
Rod tried to read her reaction to his tease but couldn't. This was unusual. He generally innately understood what she was thinking. He knew her grades were important to her–even as a 3L. He knew that her journal work was exhausting. He didn't want to pressure her. He was afraid that would only backfire. And he was worried that Cooper's comments–combined with Mike's antagonism–were affecting how she felt about him. "I tell you what... I'll clean up here. You go work on whatever it is you need to work on. And if you feel like getting together tomorrow night, call me."
Mac didn't know how to take his suggestion. Why did he back off? Did he really not want to spend time with her? She was afraid to ask him about it... afraid to find out she was right. "Okay." She stood up to leave.
Rod stood, too. Intercepting her as she left the table, he leaned into her and kissed her softly on the lips. "Have a good afternoon."
"You, too."
After she left, Rod sat back down. Damn, he thought, women are complicated–especially that one.