When We're Older

Disclaimer: I'm not RIB, so I don't own Glee or any of the characters. If I did, I'd be rich and probably not writing fanfiction! Also, the Reddin gene I mention in this story is based on the Reddin character from the 1994 movie Junior. You should really watch it if you like mpreg. It's a good movie, I promise (I also don't have any rights to it either!) I also don't really own anything, especially not songs or anything else for that matter.

"Sweetheart, are you alright?"

Barbara placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder, her worried gaze falling onto his pale face and the way his lips were pursed ever so slighty as he leaned up against the counter. It had been almost a week since the fight between him and Kurt and ever since then, Blaine had been on edge, tired and upset, and somehow he seemed to have caught a cold that he just couldn't shake. Kurt, on the other hand, seemed fine, going to work on time and coming home late like it was nothing. Neither man had spoken to the other since their blowout and every time they passed without a word in the hallway, Blaine's heart broke a little more at their lack of communication.

"Blaine, did you hear me?"

Snapping out of his thoughts, Blaine looked up at his boss and smiled. Barb stared at him skeptically, especially since the look he just tried to pass off on her was much more like a grimace than an actual smile; carefully, she took him by the shoulder and led him to an empty table, guiding him down into a chair with ease.

"I believe you should take a break, hun."

"No, no. I'm fine, Barb. Really, I just- that last guy just finished a cigarette before he came in and it just got to me, I guess."

Barbara raised an eyebrow, but then nodded understandingly. "Oh, I feel ya. I was like that with my first pregnancy too. My husband had the nicest cologne, but when I was pregnant with Elliot, I just couldn't stomach that smell whatsoever. I don't think I've ever seen Walter so scared in his life that night I got sick on him. We were going out to dinner and he sprayed his cologne and-" The older woman launched into a tale about her husband and Blaine closed his eyes, feeling that ever present wave of nausea overcome him as he sat there. To be honest, it didn't seem like the cigarette smoke was the only thing getting to him, but he wasn't going to say anything. It was just a simple cold; he could get through it.

But first he just had to get through the rest of the day.

::::::::::

Kurt dogeared the pages of an old issue of Vogue and looked back up at the computer, his eyes narrowing when he stared at the front page display of the website. The magazine was celebrating the comeback of the styles of the 1960's and he was in charge of changing around the site to match the upcoming issue, but nothing he did seemed to work right. Then again, he could blame his lack of inspiration on the fact that his mind was somewhere else - on Blaine actually and what his husband was doing at the moment.

There wasn't anything worse in the world than hearing Blaine cry, in Kurt's opinion, but every single night that week, it was all he heard. However, despite the ache he felt in his heart, he couldn't bring himself to stand up and just check on his husband, to just apologize. He just sat there and listened... and a few times, he cried as well. Even that very morning, he could hear Blaine gasping for air in the bathroom as he was sick over the toilet and even though he was standing right outside of the closed bathroom door, Kurt couldn't muster the courage to open it and step inside. He just listened... and hated himself a little bit more with each sob.

Why are you doing this, Kurt? Why are you still hurting him? What is wrong with you?

Sighing, he shut his laptop and stood up from his seat, stretching his arms up into the air as he walked away from the desk and stepped out into the fray of frantic interns, all of them rushing different piles of photos and fabric swatches to their respective bosses. As he watched, Kurt flashed back to the days when he was a lowly intern, bringing coffees to Isabelle and answering phones all while he juggled his classes at NYADA and lived in a spacious apartment with Rachel and Santana. His first year in New York was a crazy one and the next year was just as wacky, with Blaine joining the chaos by moving into the flat with Kurt and the girls. At the time, Kurt had been ecstatic to be living with his on-again boyfriend and at night, when he curled up next to Blaine in their shared bed, he dreamed of their future together: of their home, their jobs, and their lives.

But it was rare that he dreamed of children. A few times, a baby or two popped up in his dreams, only to disappear in later imagined futures, but that was about it. Kids hadn't really been on his mind, not even after his close friends began having their own. The idea of having kids had sort of been a option back then, when he was younger and vibrant, newly married and ready to take on the world with his husband. But as time sped by, he found himself seeing a different future - one where he and Blaine traveled the world or where Blaine finally got that desired breakout role he deserved on Broadway, one where the two of them had more money than they could ever imagine, living in a penthouse suite in the Upper West Side. Occasionally he and Blaine would discuss these dreams and somehow the idea of a child would creep in and Kurt would imagine the two of them walking through Central Park holding hands with a little pigtailed girl, but that was as far as it went... even though he knew Blaine was thinking of something much more concrete.

Then he would tell himself to give it some time, he'd warm up to having kids later on in life. But later on he'd get stuck in a room with one of Puck's kids and he'd get a headache from all their jabbering. Or like with what happened with Anastacia - he could envision all of his clothing being ruined by dirty little hands and all the hard work he put in over the years to be able to purchase such extravagance would go right down the drain.

However, sometimes he'd think about what his dad said: about how having a baby is a wonderful thing and how being a dad isn't too bad after all. Sure, the things that Chase said contradicted Burt's praises like crazy, but when it came down to it, Kurt respected his father's opinions far more than he respected a guy who he had only known for ten or so years.

So then why are you doing this?

Kurt ran a hand through his hair, his mind still racing, and walked into Isabelle's office, shooting her a pathetic half-smile when she waved him in and went back to her phone conversation. As he sat down in the chair opposite of her, he let his mind travel to his childhood and the wonderful days he was able to spend with his mother before she got sick. He remembered all the fun they had together, the way she would let him dress her up and do her makeup, and how much he loved hearing her sing. He remembered the day she died and how his dad finally stepped up after months of grieving, taking over the role of both dad and mom and how Burt dealt with Kurt's silly childhood tea parties and movie nights.

He loved his dad... and his dad loved him, unconditionally. His dad always supported him, always stood by him even though Kurt sometimes knew he tested his dad's limits, but despite the fact that Kurt knew his dad loved him, sometimes he wondered why? Burt always told him that he loved him the moment he found out he was coming into the world and Kurt couldn't figure out how that was possible, how his dad could love the mere thought of a child. A child created from the love of two people, Burt had said. But Kurt still didn't understand.

Because he mostly felt like he didn't love the child growing in his husband's stomach. Over the last few weeks, during the rekindling of his marriage with Blaine, Kurt thought he was excited for what was happening, but then those same old thoughts of doubt would creep up on him like a thief in the night and he was once again shadowed in fear. Fear that he would never love the child, fear that he would resent the kid for everything he represented: a possible end to all things Kurt once dreamed of. Kurt was still scared of what was going to happen and he was scared of what was happening now, how he and Blaine were drifting apart again.

Your fault, his brain supplied and Kurt closed his eyes, mentally trying to squash the creepy feelings that washed over him. Not creepy, Kurt. Guilty. Very, very guilty.

He sat there, lost in his thoughts, until Isabelle snapped her fingers in front of his face and smiled sadly at him. He stared up at her, his blue eyes swirling with a million different emotions until he blinked them away and plastered the same old mask he had been using since that night he screamed at Blaine and made him cry.

Everything was okay. Everything wasn't okay and it felt like it was only going to get worse.

::::::::::

Blaine yawned as he clocked out of work and untied his tight smock. The next shift people began buzzing around him, making coffees for the afternoon rush and as they went to working, Blaine squeezed between them and left the back of the shop, shrugging into his winter coat as he walked. Outside, the sky was a brilliant white with fresh falling snow and a few dozen people came mulling into the shop complaining of the slippery sidewalks and limited visibility.

"Is it really that bad out?" Blaine asked one of his regulars as he leaned against the front window and watched a few passersby shuffle through the slush.

"Eh, it's just bothersome mostly. The snow's really icy and it's windy so when that stuff gets blown in your face, it's kinda like getting smacked in the face by glass."

Or a slushie, Blaine mentally added, flashing back to a particular painful moment in his life. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and went to stuff his hands into his gloves. "Well, I've gotta get home somehow. Guess I'll grin and bear it."

"You'll be careful out there, sweetheart. You've got a baby to think about too."

"Oh, don't I know it." Blaine said with a sad smile, making his way over to the door to leave. He was almost halfway out when someone yelled his name.

"Blaine! Hey Blaine!"

Shielding his eyes from the snow, Blaine looked up and furrowed his brows when he spotted Rachel standing there next to a waiting taxi, all bundled up in her signature red coat. "Rachel?"

"C'mon silly. No need to walk to my place when you can take a cab with me!"

Walk to your place? Blaine thought, carefully maneuvering his way through the crowds of people to climb inside the cab after his sister-in-law. "We're going back to your house?" He asked as he settled himself down in the seat and waited for the cab driver to head out.

"Umm, yeah? I invited you and Kurt over for dinner, remember?"

Kurt didn't say anything about that. "Oh, oh yeah. I forgot. Sorry... baby brain, you know?"

Rachel grinned and then turned to look at his belly, which was hidden beneath his peacoat. "I understand fully. Okay, well maybe not fully since I've never been pregnant, but I get it. So how are you? I haven't been able to talk to Kurt lately and last I heard from Carole and Burt, you were working again, so I didn't know if I should bother you either and-"

"I'm fine," Blaine lied, letting his hands fall against his belly. "Just tired mostly. Work's, well, work and that's about it." He failed to mention how upset he had been getting lately: with his co-workers and Kurt and just humanity in general. Rachel just nodded and took his answer without question, going on to ramble about her busy days on Broadway and how much she adored everything. As she spoke, Blaine couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy creep up his spine at how easy everything seemed for her. She had a beautiful apartment (with a properly working lock), a job on Broadway, and a supportive husband. She had a lot of what Blaine wanted and just somehow didn't seem to get and it kind of hurt a little bit. Rubbing his stomach, Blaine leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes, letting Rachel's storytelling lull him to sleep as the cab slowly made its way through the heavy snowfall to the Hudson's apartment.

::::::::::

"Hey bro," Finn greeted when Rachel and Blaine opened the door and stepped inside the warm, bright entryway. It took Blaine several moments to figure out where he was and how he got there, but when he saw Finn coming in to give him a hug, he realized that sometime between falling asleep in the cab and now, he must have made his way through the building with Rachel. Sighing, he greeted Finn back and hugged his brother-in-law tightly before he took off his coat and allowed his relatives to ooh and aah at his growing stomach. Hands quickly latched on, hoping to feel anything, but Blaine just shook his head.

"I haven't really felt anything yet, so I doubt you'll be able to. Sorry guys."

"You haven't been feeling kicks yet?" Rachel asked, staring down at where her hands lay on his belly. Blaine hummed and she frowned. "Aren't you, like, almost twenty weeks?"

"My doctor said I might not feel anything up until twenty-two weeks actually. She said I could start to feel the baby moving anytime between sixteen and twenty-two, so I'm not too worried. I do hope I get to feel him soon though. I think that's the part I'm most excited about - other than having him, really."

Rachel smiled and took his hand, leading him to the living room to sit him down on their large couch. "Finn and I are going to start on dinner, but you can sit in here and rest if you'd like, since you spent all day working. I'm gonna try to call Kurt and see if he's on his way and then we can eat. But, if you are feeling hungry or anything, just call for me and you can have whatever you want, okay?"

Blaine nodded and offered Rachel a smile, waiting until she got up and left to settle himself down properly onto the thick cushions. He didn't bother to tell her how strange he had been feeling, since he didn't want to worry her, but honestly, at that moment, he felt a little too hot and a bit nauseous. Waiting, he listened for the sounds of Finn and Rachel to start cooking and when he heard them singing to each other as they chopped vegetables, he laid back onto the couch and fell asleep.

::::::::::

Finn poked his head into the living room, eyes focusing on his sleeping brother-in-law as the younger man laid all curled up on the couch. From his position in the doorway, he could see how gaunt Blaine looked, how his face looked pale and sweaty, and how exhausted he seemed. Blaine didn't look healthy, that was for sure, and just seeing him that way worried Finn to no end.

"Hey Rach?"

"Hmm?" Rachel asked as she came up to stand next to her husband. She slid her arms around his waist and peeked her face around his bicep, looking into the living room. "What's wrong?"

"Does Blaine look sick to you?" Finn whispered, careful to not talk too loud just in case he accidentally woke his friend up. Next to him, Rachel sucked in a deep breath.

"You think so too?"

"So you noticed it too?"

"I wasn't going to say anything, but Blaine doesn't look as well as he did a few weeks ago. Remember when they came over for dinner and how good he looked? He just looks... sick right now."

Finn swallowed thickly, rubbing his hand over Rachel's, "I know. I think something's wrong."

"He's probably working too hard. The last time I spoke to Burt, he said Kurt told him that Blaine had taken on both of his old jobs, so he's probably overworking himself. I wish he wouldn't though. He's putting himself and the baby in jeopardy." Shaking her head, Rachel pulled away from her husband and stepped back into the kitchen. "I'm gonna go try to call Kurt again. He didn't answer my last two calls."

"I bet he's in a meeting. He'll be here," Finn added as he shot one last look to his brother-in-law and then followed Rachel. While his wife dialed his brother's phone number, Finn went back to chopping the peppers and onions for their dinner, his mind still plagued with the sight of how ill Blaine looked.

::::::::::

"Blaine? Hey, Blaine?"

A hand shook his shoulder gently and Blaine blinked his bleary eyes open, staring up at the sight of Rachel smiling down at him. He opened his mouth to say something, but felt his throat tighten up before he even had the chance.

"You okay?" Rachel asked, her voice soft and genuine. She brushed a bit of his sweaty hair back and studied the way he blinked at her.

"Fine. I'm fine," he croaked out, bringing his hands up to rub at his eyes. "Dinner ready?"

"Yeah, Finn's putting the finishing touches on everything. He just wanted me to come in here and wake you. He wants to know if you want chicken on your quesadilla or if you want to go with just veggies like me?"

"Mmm, chicken's fine," Blaine whispered, fighting the urge to curl up as a strange sensation fell over him. His stomach felt awful, a slow cramping-like pain blistered over the lower part of his abdomen and he struggled to not clutch at his belly at the feeling. "Do you mind if I use your bathroom?"

Rachel shook her head and patted his knee, rising from her spot on the couch. "You know where it is, Blaine. I'm gonna go back and tell Finn that you want chicken as well."

"Okay," Blaine said. He waited until Rachel was completely out of the room before he hunched forward with a quiet gasp and rubbed at his stomach. Nothing felt right; his body felt heavy, his head felt like it was filling with air and the pressure was going to pop his eyeballs out, and the worst feeling was within his stomach. He felt like he was going to throw up or faint and in that instant, he realized something was terribly wrong.

Swaying, he stood up and stumbled towards the kitchen, one hand cradling the bottom of his stomach and the other pressed tight against the wall as he dragged himself towards help. "Finn? R-Rachel?" He whimpered, his voice so quiet that it was hard for him to even hear in his own ears. Shivering, Blaine pulled his aching body into the doorway of the kitchen, blinking rapidly against the bright lights and the loud sounds coming from the radio and Finn and Rachel's joined voices. "Guys? Ungh, I-"

A low groan sounded from his throat and Finn turned around at the noise, his eyes widening when he saw Blaine standing there. "Blaine?!"

His face was the last thing Blaine saw before he collapsed forward and hit the floor.

::::::::::

"Kurt? Is that your phone?"

Isabelle pointed at the bright light filling up Kurt's messenger bag and Kurt flushed, muttering a few apologies as he hopped out of his seat in the creative director's chair and ran over to shut off his ringing phone. Hissing some curses under his breath, Kurt completely shut his phone off, anger spiking within his veins when he noticed that it was once again Rachel calling about that damn dinner date he wasn't going to attend. He told her days before that he didn't think he'd be able to make it and he never told Blaine, so it wasn't like Finn or Rachel were going to be expecting them. When he was sure that the blasted thing had been shut down completely, he went back to his seat next to Isabelle and flipped through the shots of several different models that were having their photos taken.

Beside him, a photographer was putting a couple of girls into different poses and Isabelle was adding her two cents in over how she thought the girls should be posed. "What do you think, Kurt? Would that look better as the cover for the site? Or should they both be slouched a little more?"

Kurt regarded both girls, staring at their outfits and the ways they were standing. "Probably slouched a little more. The blonde should cradle her chin also; it looks more couture."

"Great. You read my mind," Isabelle laughed, calling out more ideas to the cameraman. While she was preoccupied, Kurt went back to studying the test shots of the models and wondered how they would look against the new scheme he was planning for the website. It wasn't long before a half an hour sped by just like that and as Kurt flicked over the photos and took the shots out that he liked the most, he barely noticed his new intern, Shelly, come running into the warehouse, her form covered in snow and her nose bright red from the cold.

"Mr. Anderson-Hummel! Mr. Anderson-Hummel?!"

Kurt looked up, as did the rest of the crew working around him. Isabelle shot him a confused look and Kurt stood up, two seconds away from berating his intern for being so unprofessional in such an important setting. He was feet away from her when he noticed the look in her eyes (fear) and immediately his heart stopped. Oh God, something was wrong with his dad and he had his phone off. Oh God.

"Mr. Anderson-Hummel, please don't be mad. I came as soon as I could and I tried calling your phone, but you didn't answer!"

"What is it?" Kurt asked quietly, his hand falling to cover his heart. The sounds around him muted and all he could hear was his beating heart as he watched his teary eyed intern stare up at him in fear. "What is it, Shelly?"

"Sir, it's your husband. Something's happened."

A/N: Some of you lovely reviewers had this pegged since the last two chapters, so kudos to you guys. I loved reading your feelings on the last chapter and I agree that what's going on with Kurt has been a crazy, crazy ride, but it can happen. I know it seems ridiculous and that someone Kurt's age should be more mature about something like this, but sometimes people can react in the oddest ways over things and Kurt just to happens to be having a hard time with the idea of fatherhood. I bet you're wondering what's going to happen now, yeah? Any ideas? Please leave a review and thank you all for reviewing the last chapter. I love reading what you thought!