What's this? Two chapters in two days? Whoa!

So what's going with Camille huh? Did she really jump? Oh dear, we're getting dramatic aren't we? Some more drama in this chapter... and I'm debating whether to do visiting day as the next chapter or the one after... hmm, choices. I guess you'll just have to wait and see! Although you can be sure of one thing – this is where the real pain begins.

We're on 99 favourites. Let's make that a lovely whole number, yes? Also, thank you guys so much for 166 follows! We're only fourteen chapters in and I didn't expect to be doing so well! Thank you all!

ANNA

I turn and run, flinging my arms out on front of me as I push past all the people in my way. I can hear Adam calling out my name, and light footsteps as he runs after me but after a while they stop and I know he's given up.

Tears escape my eyes and fly down my cheeks as I force my feet one after the other along the dark Dauntless corridors. My fists, curled into balls swing by my sides, not sure whether to punch something or to tear my own hair out.

I feel so betrayed – and what I hate most is that I don't know why. I shouldn't be feeling this way, I knew something bad was coming when I saw the file on Eric's desk. I guess my brain was just trying to deny that he would do something like this, after I'm trying so hard to trust him. This knocked this back so far and how can I trust someone that I suspect killed someone?

Camille can't have just jumped. I've heard people talk, I know that it happens rarely and if it does it's usually older people who do it, instead of facing life as factionless. And I know that divergence is dangerous – that it could get me killed. It seems like too much of a coincidence that there should be a file sent to Jeanine Matthews, someone who is a known threat to divergents, and that the person who the file was for should die only a week or so later. The file was on Eric's desk. He knew the threat, he did it anyway.

A little thought worms its way into my mind and when I realise how true it is I feel sick. Eric wouldn't care about me at all, would hate me probably if he knew I was divergent. We're getting to know each other, there's something growing between us and I know it would be killed if he were to find out. Or, there's always the possibility that the only reason that something is developing between us is because he already suspects my divergence, and is using my hormones against me. It seems like something an Erudite would do.

I can see it now – how stupid I was to think that anything could be happening. I'm not even sure what I was thinking. Maybe I was hoping for friendship... maybe something more. The mere thought of it makes everything so much worse.

Amidst my pain, I vaguely recognise a figure on front of me that I'll run into if I don't stop. I drag my feet along the ground to stop myself from propelling any further forward and I stumble the last few steps until I have stopped right on front of them. I hate for anyone to see me this way – any Dauntless member could just assume that I'm some stupid initiate who lost their fight and laugh about me to their friends, make a mockery of the silly little Amity girl who wanted a place in the big, bad world.

But when I do look up into the steely grey orbs that search my own eyes for answers I lose the ability to speak.

I can imagine what I must look like – dark, usually messy anyway hair all over the place and tangled from running, one of my eyes already black from my fight and tears covering my cheeks. I feel frantic, and I guess I look that way from the concerned look in his eyes.

Why do I keep letting him get to me?

It's my own stupid fault for getting so caught up with him. I've strung myself into a web of hurt, lies and fear so tightly that I can't escape. I can't get away from Eric because I can't stay away from him. I don't want to. And it will be the end of me, if I don't stop it.

I don't think I can,

"Anna?" He asks, and I detest how worried he sounds. It's as if he cares about me, but I know that if he knew my secret he'd be speaking my name with contempt, not concern.

In a flurry of motions I manage to push past him, ignoring his shout of surprise and the feeling of his eyes staring into the back of my head. He wouldn't realise, that I know what I know. He'd suspect nothing. Of course.

Sometimes I wish he knew that I found out about what he did. So that he could give me excuses, lie to me in such a way that I would believe him – believe that everything's okay. Not that he would – he obviously doesn't care about me in that way that he'd feel the need to comfort me like that. Not like I care about him.

And I do – I realise it now when I feel the most pain, how much I care about him. It's too much for someone I haven't known for that long and it scares me, but I know nothing can come of it because he's Eric, the ice-cold, tough-talking Dauntless leader. He hates people like me. I have no chance, even without him knowing my little secret that would make him hate me more.

I don't want to have to deal with this.

I came to Dauntless to get away from pain, didn't I?

…

A few days pass as Dauntless holds a funeral for Camille. An Erudite girl is there, one who looks a little older than I am but looks shockingly like Camille. I can only guess she's her sister.

I can't shake the feeling that there's something weird going on – not because of what happened with Eric and Camille, I already know roughly, or can guess, what happened there. But Camille's sister... there's something different about her. The exchange that went on with us during the funeral is too weird to be forgotten about.

I sit at the side of the cafeteria, away from all the noise where the Dauntless get drunk together to celebrate the life of Camille. The Erudite girl sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle of it, refusing any drink offered to her, her eyes puffy and red from where she's been crying.

I'm surprised that the Dauntless actually allow the Erudite girl to join the funeral, after all the factions are so independent these days that they refrain from mixing as much as possible. But I guess that seeing as the leaders are getting into something with Jeanine about divergents that some special allowances have been made.

As I watch what's happening, I catch the eye of the Erudite girl.

She's too pretty. So well kept as well, dark ginger hair swept back into an elegant ponytail, not a stray hair in sight. Her face is pointed a little but more on the rounded side, her body hinting at curves that show her easy and less energetic life over in Erudite. Her make up is on point, her skin flawless and dark eyes drawing the attention of most Dauntless males. She seems like she fits in almost too well. It seems off.

She catches me staring, and suddenly her eyes are wide and she's staring back. But even from a distance, I can see the recognition on her face. I haven't ever seen her before, I would remember, so I wonder where she knows me from.

Without taking her eyes off me she slips away from the crowd that are now too drunk to notice her departure and starts walking towards me. Frowning, I follow her movements until she reaches me.

"You're Anna, aren't you?" She says. Her voice is smooth like honey and with no accent that I've heard from an Erudite before. "Listen, I-"

She's cut off by a Dauntless man shouting "Oi! Nose!" And lumbering over to us. She shoots me a look of regret and I'm hit with a wave of confusion. I make a grab for her wrist to pull her back and demand that she explains how she knows who I am, but she's already turned away toward the drunk man.

I purse my lips and watch, wondering exactly what she had to say to me and why she knew my name.

There's no doubt she knew who I was – and the idea that she's an Erudite who knows about me personally scares the hell out of me. It makes me think that they already know, that they already suspect that I'm divergent. And if that's the case, then I'm so screwed.

But it's not just that. The Erudite girl seemed different – like she fit in too well, was doing exactly the right thing at exactly the right time, without hesitation or mistakes. It's suspicious, to say the least. She doesn't suit her Erudite blue either, not like most Erudite, who wear their blue clothes with a pride that's almost insufferable. No, she seems like she doesn't belong in them, not like she should for someone who is an Erudite.

Or maybe I'm over thinking it. Maybe she's just a normal Erudite girl, attending the funeral of her sister, who just happened to hear about the first jumper. Maybe she knows me because I'm the Amity girl who transferred to Dauntless – there's endless possibilities as to how she knows who I am.

But for some reason, none of them seem to fit with my suspicions.

…

I can't focus.

There's so much going on right now, with Erudite and divergents and Eric, and I just can't think. I need to be on my game right now, this is my last and most difficult fight and I need to win it. I need to prove myself, again and again until I'm certain that I am worthy of my place in Dauntless. Until there is no doubt as to what is going on in the world around me. I feel that if I win this fight it will all be fixed – although right now it's probably the least of my troubles.

There's so much going around my mind and it's clouding my concentration, not allowing me to do what I need to. I'm trying my best to stay on guard, but as Cain and I circle each other on the mat I can feel the confidence leak out of me into the cool Dauntless air. The hairs on the back of my neck are standing up and I can feel the goosebumps littering my arms under the long sleeved shirt I wear. It's too cold to be wearing a t-shirt, although I doubt Cain cares about that. It looks like he wants to show off his newly-built muscles, so he's wearing a sleeveless tank. Even if it weren't cold I know I wouldn't be able to wear something like that, the scars that wrap their ways around my arms would cause too many questions.

Because of everything that's going on in Dauntless right now I'm beginning to forget about everything that happened to me in Amity. I haven't thought about it for a while now, and the nightmares that used to plague me nightly have diminished. Dauntless is good for me – it's providing a necessary distraction from the pain of my past life.

But is distracting pain with more pain a good thing? My life in Amity was physically torturous, but with what's going on here right now my mind is constantly occupied with unwelcome thoughts, fears, and worries.

Cain jumps forward and I startle back, surprised at his sudden movements. But all he does is grin, then step back to where he was before. He's taunting me, he knows my head isn't in the game and he's using it against me. His leering smile is infuriating.

The next time he tries to tease me I'm prepared, and I dart to the side quickly and kick him in the side before he realises. If he's going to be cocky, it's going to hurt him. He thinks he's so invincible – and he doesn't expect he'll be hurt.

We're the best two in this class. Neither of us have lost a fight yet and whoever wins this fight will probably dictate who leads in the rankings. He is positive it's going to be him.

He's probably right.

I'm so out of it right now, my mind consumed with thoughts about everything even when I do get a moment of clarity and make an advance, my advantage is thrown by how quickly my thoughts return to bug me. If I keep going like this I'm going to lose quickly.

Cain is no longer playful. Now that he's taken a hit, he's about to take this fight head-on, give it all he's got. I can see it in his eyes, the fury that builds us because I managed to get on kick in when he wasn't expecting it. I made a fool of him, and now I'm going to pay for it.

He makes a proper move this time, barrelling forward and knocking me to the ground. It's usually my move, be on top of my opponent, then take them out. What's so brilliant about it is that it's incredibly difficult to get out of and I usually use that to my advantage in a fight – but this time it's him on top, grinning maliciously from ear to ear and bring his fists down to my face. I try my best to dodge the blows, but they keep coming and suddenly I'm panicking. This is Cain, and I have no idea what lengths he's willing to go to to secure his place here.

I manage to knee him the groin quickly from where he hovers above me, and as he's taken to surprise and rolls off me I get up again, kicking him in the stomach and dropping to my knees to that I can punch him. But this time, he grabs my hair and yanks me down to the ground and I let out a cry as I go down.

He holds onto my hair in his fist, not letting me move my head to the side every time I try to avoid his hits. With a sickening crack I feel my nose break and I can feel blood streaming out of it. I let out another cry, but it only seems to egg him on. I struggle as much as I can to get out of his hold but it's no use – he's not stopping. Right now all I want to do is give in, go unconscious, forget about everything that's happening. To just succumb to the darkness, have a moments peace from my thoughts and the world around me seems so welcoming right now. But my pain endurance is high, thanks to Alexander, and I'm still holding out.

He pulls my head to the side again, to that I'm looking at him. But if I look past him, I can see Eric. He's watching intently, anger written all over his features. Except his eyes – his eyes are soft when they meet mine. He knows this is his fault – he made the the rule of no conceding mandatory. This could have been avoided. He knows it. He must do.

I tear my gaze away from him and look back to Cain, not letting my fear show. He's standing now and holding me in a kneeling position, my hair still wrapped in his fist. I'm being held in the most submissive position ever and I hate every minute of it.

With one last grin, he brings his fist down to my face and everything is suddenly black.

…

I drift in and out of consciousness and I can hear a steady beeping echoing through the room. I can guess I'm in the infirmary – the state of my injuries after my fight with Cain probably being severe enough. I remember my nose breaking, so I try to scrunch it. Immediately pain shoots through my entire face and I groan. This is exactly like what happened after every beating with Alexander – every movement hurt, and I eventually became so fed up with it that I just let it happen.

My eyes flutter open, although I can feel that they are swollen already. Through my small gap of vision I can see Eric's figure slumped over in the chair next to my bed. I smile slightly. Does he actually care? Would he be here if he didn't?

I try to sit up a bit, but let out a yelp at the pain that races through my muscles. Eric stirs, opening his eyes and locking his gaze with mine.

"I was trying to sit up," I say, sheepish for no reason.

Nodding, he stretches out, his muscles flexing with every motion.

"Do you need help?" He asks. His voice is low and rough from sleep, his usually well-kept hair messed up. I'm struck with how much younger he looks right now. I remember how he is only one year older than I am, and while he looks land acts like an adult already I need to remind myself that he's only seventeen. Except, when I imagine a seventeen year old, I think of a tall, lanky boy. But that's not Eric – Eric has a muscular build, and he looks twenty, not seventeen. He looks so much more mature than the seventeen year olds I knew at Amity.

I try to shake my head, determined to do this by myself and not let him see how weak I am right now. I try to move again, slower this time but barely manage to hide a grimace at the pain I feel.

He's by my side in an instant.

"You need help," He states. "Let me help you."

I nod this time, trying to brace myself for the pain that comes – but there's nothing that could prepare me for the feeling of his hands on me. I expected him to be rough, to help me sit up and then to go back to where he sat, or leave, even. But he's so much more gentle than I expected, one of his hands placed on my back and guiding me up. His other is on my arm, his one hand large enough to wrap around it completely. I miss the contact when he lets go.

He clears his throat. "The rankings were posted."

My eyes shoot wide open.

"Where did I place?" I ask hurriedly. My thoughts, that were so consumed by Eric and Erudite and Divergents didn't being to wonder what losing that fight could have done to my ranking.

"You came second. After Cain." He spits the name. I'm reminded of the Eric that I met when I first came here, the brutish man that was the feared Dauntless leader. To me, he isn't. But to everyone else, he still is. He's still the most feared man in Dauntless, and his mere presence in a room is enough to make it go quiet. He could easily scare anyone away by saying their name like he just said Cain's.

"Oh," I say. "Good."

"It's visiting day tomorrow," He says. "Are you expecting family?"

Of course. Visiting day, how could I forget. There won't be anyone here for me, I know it. But I don't care – it's better that way anyway.

"No," I say, "No I'm not."

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