EPISODE 14: HELL-O
"I finally feel like we're on top as the Glee Club." Mike spoke.
"Finally, the Glee Club is cool." Kurt smiled.
"No more talking to burn-outs and desperate wannabes. AV Jocks all the way." Puck said ruffling Kurt's hair.
"Don't mess up the hair." Kurt commanded. As he did a cold sensation hit his face. The cold blue slushie slid down his face as he breathed shakily. Then he watched as Puck and Mike winced. He watched Mike's plain white boxer-briefs and Puck's 'The Incredible's' briefs were brought upwards. Then he felt the stinging sensation as his boxer-briefs were pulled skywards, it only lasted a second, but that's all it took for the slushie to drip down them.
"We liked your little boy tighty whities, saw them on youtube. Turns out someone posted a video of Finn giving you a wedgie. Like, even queer here wears cooler undies than you." Azimio teased.
"See ya freaks." Karofsky tittered.
-GLEE-
Will Schuester stormed heavily into the office of Figgins where Figgins greeted him with a smile. "Did you let Sue back in?!" He exclaimed.
"Yes, She was suspended. Suspention does end with Re-instatement." Figgins explained.
"She has something on you doesn't she?" Will asked.
"No." Figgins lied. He eyed the picture in his top drawer as he closed it. A picture of him wearing Frilly Lace Panties.
-GLEE-
The crowd was loud and fierce at McKinley High's first home basketball game of the season. Just like in football, they sucked. They were down 20 points, but he didn't care. He received the throw in from Puck and began to slowly dribble up the court.
As he was dribbling, he looked around at the stands. Mr. Schue, Kurt, and Rachel were all sitting together. He noticed she was wearing a blue t-shirt that read 'Go Finn!"
He didn't know what to think of her. He liked her, but she was a little nuts. He wished he could be more like Coach Tenaka. He lost his fiancé but noone cared.
Suddenly, Finn was snapped out of his own thoughts as he heard a large gasp in the gym. He looked around to see that gameplay had stopped. The opposite team team seemed to be snickering at something and most of the crowd had their mouths gaped open.
"Dude, pull up your shorts," Puck whispered intensely.
Finn's eyes opened wide as he realized his shorts were at his ankles, revealing his white jockstrap. All at once, the crowd burst into outrageous laughter.
Finn bent over and grabbed the waistband of his shorts. The crowd grew louder as he showed everyone on the right side his bubble butt. Will couldn't even hold back his laughter as he chuckled slightly.
"That's my boyfriend!" Rachel proudly yelled.
"You lucky bitch," Kurt thought as he continued to stare at Finn's backside.
Finn yanked up his shorts quickly. He was completely red.
Puck walked over to him.
"Yeah... Karma really is a bitch," Puck laughed.
-GLEE-
So, I don't know what to do." Finn thought as he took a test in History. He had no clue what he was doing, he just daydreamed about his life. "Rachel thinks we're a couple, and I really don't know what to do. I mean are we a couple? Oh well. I can't fail this test!"
-GLEE-
"Hello," Will smiled.
"Hello," Will said louder clearly looking for a response.
A murmur of bored 'hellos' surfaced from the kids.
"What do you say when you answer the phone?" Will asked.
"Who dis be?" Artie reenacted.
"No, she's dead. This is her son," Kurt said, blandly.
"Well, a little history lesson for you. It was Edison who decided 'hello' would be an appropriate greeting when answering the phone," Schue explained.
They all nodded their heads.
"Listen guys, I'm really proud of what you guys did at Sectionals, but it clearly hasn't affected your daily lives here at school," Will brought up.
"Tell me about it. I have a slushie stained pair of briefs to prove it," Puck agreed.
"If we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals, then we need to be better. Your songs this week must have the word hello in the song title. We need a new hello," Will finished.
-GLEE-
"This is weird, isn't it?" Will asked, sitting across from Emma in her office.
Emma nodded.
"We've sat in these seats a hundred times before... Only this time, I can kiss you if I want to and I want to," Will said, leaning in.
Emma backed away. "Let me just go freshen up."
"Emma, I don't care. Here, let's do this right. My place. 8 o'clock. I'll cook," he said.
-GLEE-
Finn and Schue were cleaning up after Glee Club when Will said," So about Hello, how are you re-inventing yourself Finn?"
"I don't know. I want to be cooler." Finn replied.
"Yeah, I would too after that pantsing." Will smiled.
"Everyone's calling me Finn Butt-son." Finn said quietly. "I wish that we didn't wear jockstraps for sports... I wish we had a different underwear."
"Well, I hope the whole butt thing blows over soon." Will smiled as he left the Choir Room. Finn thought for a minute about what he had just said. Different underwear! That's what he needed a different kind of underwear. He could just wear Boxer-briefs! No more tighty whitie hassle!
-GLEE-
"Hey Finn. You look... Different," Will smiled as he saw the young man confidently walk in.
"Yeah, Mr. Schue, I feel fantastic! I took your advice. I've changed myself ,and I couldn't be happier," Finn greeted.
"That's great, Finn," Will replied.
"Yeah, want to know my secret?" Finn asked.
Will answered with a nod.
"Boxer-briefs," Finn stated as he showed off his black waistband. "They feel great and best of all, I don't have to worry anymore. No more stress about anyone finding out about my tighty whities. You should try em'." Finn suggested.
"Ha, no thanks, Finn. I think I've experimented enough with underwear for one semester," Will replied.
Later that day, Santana and Brittany were flirting with Finn. Rachel noticed and decided to speak with him.
"What was that all about?" Rachel questioned.
"Listen Rachel... I don't think I want to be your boyfriend. I'm just now starting to find my inner rockstar," Finn whispered.
"Ok, Finn. Have it your way, but if you'd take a second look at me then you'd realize, I know you," Rachel cried.
Finn didn't really understand what that meant, but he did understand that they were broken up.
-GLEE-
Rachel sat in Glee Club, she felt down and like she couldn't win. Finn talked to Santana and Brittany, his new girlfriends. She overheard him saying," Well Boxer-Briefs are better because they're cool like boxers, but have the tight sexiness of briefs." Rachel figured he had switched. She was peaved. So when Glee Club finished she went straight to the library.
She looked through books when she saw someone approach her,"Jesse St. James?!" She exclaimed. He was in their competition, Vocal Adrenaline. He was one of the best Glee Club members in the nation!
"Rachel Berry. I saw you at Sectionals, you have the voice you just lack the Barbara Streisand factor." He said.
"That's the one factor everyone says I have!" Rachel defended. "I'm the most Barbara Jewish Girl you will ever meet!"
"Kidding, you just lack the talent of me. Oh wait, everyone does." Jesse bragged.
After a bit of singing nonsense in the library they vowed to see eachother again.
-GLEE-
"I love this song. It's just so perfect for us," Will mentioned as he danced with Emma.
They then began to make out on the couch. Will removed his belt and undid his jeans. Suddenly, Emma moved away.
"Too much too fast. Too much too fast!" She said trying to catch her breath.
Will sighed as he too began to catch his breath.
"I'm sorry, Will. It's just been a really long time since I've been intimate with someone," Emma started.
"How long?" Will wondered.
"Ever," Emma replied.
"Oh... It's cool, we can pop in a movie," Will stated, trying hard to his gloom.
-GLEE-
"Mr. Schue, we have a problem," Finn stated as he walked into his office.
"What is it?" Will asked.
"Rachel's going out with some guy named Jessie St. James and he's in Vocal Adrenaline," Finn warned.
Will understood completely. He called the director of Vocal Adrenaline, Shelby Corkryn, and invited her to come to his apartment to talk about this matter.
"I'm not very comfortable about this whole fraternizing with the enemy kind of thing," Will explained.
"The heart wants what the heart wants. Sometimes there's just that spark," Shelby replied, seductively.
In a matter of minutes, Will and Shelby were rapidly making out. She ripped his shirt off him and kissed him as she pulled his pants down to his knees, showing off his tight Calvin Klein briefs.
Shelby curled her fingers around his underwear ready to pull those down but suddenly, Will pulled away.
"I can't do this," Will panted.
"Are you gay?" She questioned.
"Huh?" Will replied.
"Because most of the show choir directors that wear tighty whities and that I make out with are gay," She admitted.
"No, I'm just having a lot of problems right now. I'm kind of a mess," he replied.
"Well, you are about the cutest thing I've ever seen those tighty whities but I think you'd look even better with a little bit of color," she advised.
"Well thanks. I'll take it into consideration," He responded.
"Oh and here's my card," she stated as she tucked into Will's white waistband. "Call me once you get things figured out."
-GLEE-
Feeling guilty, Will went to confess to Emma.
"Emma, I have to tell you something," Will announced.
"Me first," Emma replied. "Terri came to talk to me... She told me about the song and how it was your prom song," Emma began.
Will remembered. "Emma, I'm so sorry."
"Maybe it's best if we wait until your divorce is settled," Emma decided.
Will nodded, agreeing with her.
-GLEE-
Finn saw Rachel by her locker and he smiled. He walked up to her happily, he was about to make her happy again. As his shoes tapped against the hallway he coolly slid to Rachel's side. "Hey, Babe. Wanna try to maybe go... out again?" Finn asked.
"Hmm." Rachel said sounding a bit devilish.
"What does 'Hmm' Mean?" Finn asked sounding desperate.
"No. I have Jesse St. James now." She said walking away theatrically. Finn looked embarrassed, he was just rejected by Rachel Berry. The girl who followed him like a groupie! He realized he had competition besides Glee from Jesse St. James.