"Pass the pizza box will ya?" Olivia asked him as they sat on the floor both staring at the envelope Cragen had given them.
"You gonna open it?" He asked as he handed her the pizza box.
"I don't want to be responsible for your careers El" She replied somberly
"Fine" Elliot said reaching for the envelope. "Then I'll open it." He slid his pocketknife under the sealed flap and cut it open. Olivia froze.
"There ya go, responsibility is mine…Liv?…What's wrong?" Elliot had the pocket knife in his right hand along with the paper he pulled form the envelop. The blade was still out and he was unintentionally waving it too close to Liv who was as stiff as a board. He realized her eyes were tracing the movement of the knife. He quickly retracted the blade and pocketed it. Wishing he didn't pull it out in the first place.
" I am sorry Liv, I had my head up my a-" She cut him off.
"Its okay, its fine, you were just so close, I am sorry, I froze." She stood up and retreated to the couch pulling her legs into her chest. She rested her elbow on the arm of the couch and her head on the palm of her hand. Elliot stood retreieveing the blanket form the back of the couch and draped it over them both as he sat next to her.
"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for Liv. Want to talk about it? He asked gently
"I thought he was going to kill me El, I thought I was going to die." She blurted
"But you didn't die, you're here with me, today Liv." Elliot shifted his body so that Olivia could lay her head in his lap. She was comfortable thinking in this position. They brainstormed cases time and again as she lay there rested on a pillow in his lap his arms protecting her from the world.
"I was coming home from my last class at the academy. I had some range work to do the next week and then I would graduate." Her voice was solid, not quivering, she was trying to distance herself from the emotion. "I felt a wave of sickness come over me when I was openig up my door. I know now God was trying to warn me not to go in." She paused for awhile.
"Iam right here Liv, you don't have to be afraid anymore. Let it out." He reassured her as he stroked her hair lightly. She continued " I was hit from behind, he brought me to with smelling salts." She took a breath and shifted her head on the pillow. The pillow smelled like Elliot she thought. "He raped me 'El' it seemed like a long time but I don't think it was. He made me call him daddy." Her body stiffened and she began to tremble. She was on her left side laying across his lap facing away from him, but he knew the agony that must have been on her face.
"I guess it makes since now, why he made me do that. He had been following me. He mentioned things that I had done the night before, but now that I know it wasn't a random act, I am certain he has been following me all my life." She took a deep breath. "I thought it was over when he got off of me, but then he picked up the knife again." Olivia cried and buried her head into the pillow. When she resurfaced to finish her story Elliot kissed her on her head. "You don't have to talk anymore if you don't want Liv." he whispered
"No, El its time. Its been 11 years. Its time." Exughsted she took another breath. "He told me he wanted to give me something to remember me by. He called me love bug. Like a father would call to his child."
As the night went on Olivia continued her story. "He started cutting into my stomach. I didn't know what he was cutting, but it hurt so bad I kept moving. He started to slash me all over my chest. When he was done with his 'master piece' he put his cigarette out on my stomach. I had passed out and woke up in the hospital. The neighbor heard my muffled crys and called the ambulance. Because I was done with the classroom stages and only had to take my shooting test they let me graduate with the next classfrom the academy. Thats why it took me two months longer" She paused " I am ugly El" she began to sob quietly and Elliot did something he knew was either going to make or break their relationship. He shifted his hand from hair and followed her body down to her waist and abdomen.
"Olivia, your not ugly, you're the most beautiful person, I know. Your heart is as big as one can get. There is nothing ugly about you Liv." He placed his hand under her white shirt.
"No please Elliot" She said holding his hand at bay. She turned her body to look at him.
"Elliot, I am damaged, used, sunk in the ocean." She still held his hand.
"The biggest treasures are at the bottom of the sea." He told her. Her grasp loosened slightly but still did not allow permission for him to explore her hurt.
"Olivia…I love you." Elliot told her softly but sternly. She removed her hand from his giving him permission to touch her. He did not look at the scars but held direct eye contact with her. He traced the scars with his fingers under her shirt. Her body was a battle ground, a 'no man's land'. He explored her body softly. He could feel the rise and fall of her body, she was breathing hard, paniced. She turned her gaze from him has his hand brushed against the burns.
"Look at me Liv." He told her, still touching her. She hesitantly looked into his eyes "I will never hurt you. I will never leave you, and you will never be used goods to me."
He withdrew his hand from her shirt and kissed her cheek. Her tears pooled around his lips, he moved down her neck gently, not wanting to capitalize on her emotions, he just wanted to let her know that he loved every corner of her body, no matter what she thought of it.