A/N: I treasure each and every review I get (I keep them in a pretty little box and take them out to admire them when I'm feeling low) even if I don't respond to every one. But I want to shout out to Claudia who left me an anonymous review after the last chapter - Claudia's was one of those reviews that fic writers dream about getting and it filled me with all sorts of warm fuzzies. It's really nice to know that people are enjoying this story. Thank you all for your kind words, they fill me with ridiculous levels of happiness.
Questions
Kagome couldn't sleep.
Something – a dream that slipped away on waking – had jerked her from slumber so fully that she was now unable to relax. What a pain. Once she was awake her brain started processing and her head was so full of confusing thoughts and emotions that she couldn't fall back asleep. It seemed like Sesshoumaru was…singling her out, as it were, but she had to be paranoid. Right?
Adding to her discomfort, the only memories she had of getting back to her bed were vague impressions of hushed voices and sleepily pressing her nose into someone's neck that smelled of male and ancient wild things - the feeling of elegant fingers patiently untangling her hands from cool silver tendrils of silk – the softest touch tracing the contour of her cheek and brushing her hair back from her face and then coiling in the thick locks – a frustrated sigh that belied the gentle touch – but she had been so close to sleep that it might have been part of that dream.
Flipping absently through her book in the dim glow of the little lamp she'd positioned at the head of her futon, Kagome's hand came up to trace the path over her cheek; as if that touch should have left some sort of tangible mark to let her know whether or not it had been real.
"Kagome-san?"
Kagome jerked in alarm and turned towards her door. Izayoi had pulled the shoji open just enough to squeeze through and was rubbing her eyes sleepily, her white hair practically glowing in the room's low light.
Kagome was surprised, but not unpleasantly so. The twins were rambunctious and brash and had warmed up to her almost immediately, but Izayoi was still reserved and careful of her. In character she wasn't at all like Rin or Inuyasha, but much like the uncle she obviously adored.
Maybe this was a turning point. It was certainly the first time that Izayoi had approached her of her own volition. Kagome's heart warmed, she wanted Inuyasha's kids to like her and she would love a chance to be included in their lives.
"Hey sweetie, is everything all right? My light didn't wake you up did it?"
Izayoi scuffed her foot on the floor, "I can't sleep. Can I come in with you?"
"Of course. Did you have a nightmare?"
Iza shook her head as she shuffled across the tatami and climbed into Kagome's lap. Touching the center of her chest gingerly she explained in a childishly petulant tone, "It hurts."
When Kagome spread her palm over the little girl's chest she could feel the struggle of the girl's youkai blood against her mortal, human blood. Poor thing. It must be awful to have such a harsh physical reminder of being torn between two worlds. It had almost driven Inuyasha mad at times after all.
Trying to keep her voice soothing but matter-of-fact she put her arms around the girl in a loose embrace, "I'm sorry sweetie. I know it must hurt. It's because your youkai blood is such strong stuff."
Izayoi nodded absentmindedly as she started playing with the curling ends of Kagome's hair, "Tou-san said that you knew him and ka-san before they were mated."
"That's right. I knew your mamma when she was still a little girl."
Izayoi paused for a long moment, "Did you know Sesshou-oji san too?"
The girl sniffed one of the dark locks she was inspecting and Kagome bit back a mild admonishment, deciding that this was not the proper time for a lecture regarding human personal boundaries, "Iza-chan, if you want a story you should ask for one. You don't have to trick me into telling you."
"I wasn't tricking." Izayoi muttered a little sullenly.
"Oh really? I know that your dad has told you lots of stories of our adventures. So you must know that I met your uncle in the past. Unless you're trying to trick me into something you should just ask for what you want."
Frowning prettily, Izayoi nodded in acquiescence before her face melted into a shy smile, "Okay, oji-sama says that honest is best."
Sometimes he could stand to take his own advice, Kagome thought a little acidly, "He's right. So what did you want to know about?"
"Papa said that you battled Sesshou-oji sama at the beginning, before papa got tessaiga."
"Well... I think it might be a little bit of a stretch to say that I 'battled' your uncle. I mostly just stood to the side and tried to avoid getting killed. But that is how I know how strong your youkai blood is. I've seen it in action." Kagome smiled to herself in remembrance, "You know that was one of the first times I met your oji-san - in the tomb of your grandfather. He was so scary."
"Tou-san told us a little about it, but I think he tries not to talk about him and Sesshou-oji not getting along."
That was kind of cute actually, Inuyasha toning down his own exploits in order to be a better father. Kagome didn't want to step on any toes, but surely she could relate the story and have both Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru come out looking like decent brothers. They'd settled their differences in the end anyway.
"Well, your tou-san was scary too, when I first met him. But by the time we met Sesshoumaru-sama I kind of knew he would protect me, and he was so strong that I thought I was safe from anything. But then we met your uncle and I realized just how powerful some youkai could be. Your dad and Sesshoumaru-sama were arguing over who should get your grandfather's sword and I was shocked when I realized that the entire battle was taking place inside what used to be your grandpa's belly."
"He was that big?" Izayoi craned her head back to look Kagome in the face.
"He was. At first I could hardly believe it because before that time I'd never seen a daiyoukai, only lesser youkai. But at the end of the battle was also the first time I saw your uncle in his Inu form, so if I had any doubts that youkai could be that big, seeing Sesshoumaru-sama transform erased them. Have you seen your uncle's Inu form?"
Iza nodded emphatically, "He shows us sometimes, for special occasions. He's so big!" she gestured emphatically with both arms, nearly falling out of Kagome's lap, "Isn't that also the fight where oji-sama lost his arm?"
"It was – after he transformed he came at us to try and get tessaiga away from Inuyasha - I was more scared than I had ever been in my entire life. But afterwards even though your uncle was trying to hurt us I felt a little bad, and I think your dad did too, even if he would never admit it."
"Why?"
"Because your uncle is a great warrior, and it's always sad when a great warrior is badly injured. But in the end it was a good lesson for me too, because the next time I saw him he was just as strong as ever, even with only one arm."
"And it's also because of that that he met mamma." Izayoi chirped.
Kagome smiled indulgently, "That's right. So in a way, if your dad hadn't cut off your uncle's arm, then your parents would never have met, and you wouldn't exist. Fate works in funny ways doesn't it?"
"I guess so," her brow furrowed a moment as if she was searching Kagome's statement for hidden meaning, "Was dad or oji-sama a better fighter?"
"Well…" Kagome considered how best to answer, "It depends on how you judge it. They were both amazing warriors, but they fought very differently. Sesshoumaru always kept a cool head in battle, and he would assess and analyze a situation before acting. But your tou-san always fought from the heart."
Izayoi fidgeted before asking in a quiet voice, "Kagome-san, do you like oji-sama?"
"Of course I do."
"Yeah, but do you like like him," Izayoi met her gaze in the room's low light.
"Oh…Iza–chan," Kagome took a deep breath and broke eye contact to stare into the shadows, "Your uncle and I are just – " just what? Friends? Aquaintances? What?
"Because oji-sama likes you." Izayoi looked quite serious, regarding Kagome with steady assurance.
A nervous giggle escaped before she could stop it, "Of course Sesshoumaru likes me. We're… er…well I guess we're friends."
"No, no." Izayoi rolled her eyes, clearly exasperated at the apparent obtuseness of the 'grown-up', "Oji-sama likes likes you."
"Why would you think that Sesshoumaru likes me more than he likes anyone?" For some reason Kagome's voice didn't come out as teasing and lighthearted as she had intended.
"He let you sleep with him didn't he?"
Face flaming; Kagome reminded herself that Izayoi probably had no concept of the meaning of the euphemism she'd just voiced. But another look at the little girl had Kagome feeling like maybe it was she herself who didn't understand the meaning behind the gesture Izayoi was referencing.
Youkai were much closer to their instincts than humans. Sesshoumaru had let her sleep at his side. No, not 'let', invited.
The gesture implied an intimate level of trust.
Kagome swallowed heavily, the desire to push away the implications, as she had for the past week, crowding to the forefront of her heart and mind. She'd been telling herself that she was 'reading too much into things' a little too often for comfort lately. What if...what if she wasn't reading too much into things? What if what seemed to be going on, actually was?
Suddenly, it occurred to Kagome that she'd been spending a lot of time and energy worrying about what he wanted from her. Maybe, just maybe, the question she needed to be asking herself was what she wanted from him.
-TBC-
*Next time: Answers
*peace y'all*