First came the fire. It cascaded out of the building like a wall, but then evaporated just as quickly as it surfaced. The sound came after. To say that it was loud would be an understatement. Last, the force. It was invisible, but terrifyingly strong. All of the officers were blown away from the barn and Morgan, Reid and Emily, who had gotten considerably closer since they had started running, were also propelled backwards.

Reid hit the ground hard and blacked out for a few seconds at the most before blinking awake and hearing the chillingly familiar ringing in his ears. The first thing that came to his mind was JJ. She had been inside that building, the one that had blown up and now only had two of the four original walls still standing. There was debris everywhere and he could only see a few of the officers who had been standing outside the door actually getting up.

He was on his feet in seconds and flying towards the barn. He heard Morgan's tired voice calling him back, but he didn't listen. There was no way anything was going to stop him from at least trying to find JJ.

The debris was crazy, it was piled up in awkward, extremely difficult ways so it was taking him a lot longer to run through it than he would have planned, but he wasn't about to give up. He kept going and soon enough he heard the sound of clattering wood behind him which meant that Morgan and Emily were following.

As they got closer to where the blast actually went off the soot started to get really bad, just from crawling through debris it was all over Reid's arms and legs. But at least now he knew that he was in the place where the original barn had been standing only minutes earlier.

He scanned over the area, but didn't spot anyone. "Start looking!" He ordered desperately, starting to sort through the debris.

He was digging through a very large pile in particular when a smaller pile a few feet away from him began to shift. He peered underneath it and found exactly what he had been looking for: JJ. She was struggling to get out from underneath the rubble.

"Over here!" He yelled, pulling on the wood that was on top of her. It wasn't exactly heavy so he was sure that she shouldn't be too hurt from that falling on top of her, but there were thin slabs of wood wedged underneath other pieces that made it hard to get off. Once he had Morgan and Emily helping him, it was easier. Within a minute or two, JJ was completely uncovered.

The first thing that Reid noticed was how dirty she was. Her skin was almost covered in soot, it hadn't stuck very well to her clothes or in her hair, but it had settled on her skin making her appear extremely dirty. He could also see that her head was bleeding in two places, a small cut in the front on her forehead and a larger one on the back. He was worried that she might have sustained another concussion, he would be surprised if she hadn't.

Before any of them had a chance to ask her if she was okay, she pushed herself up with her shaking arms and got her feet. Without even thanking them or acknowledging them in any way, she ran off through the debris.

"JJ!" Reid exclaimed, climbing after her.

He could hear her mumbling something to herself, but was too far away to make out what it was. And surprisingly she was easily making it through the debris by just climbing up and over the piles rather than trying to move all of the stuff out of her way. After a few minutes of following her, she started crawling on all fours looking through one pile of debris specifically.

As he got closer, he could finally hear what she was saying. It was something like, "No. Not him, not this time. Please, please don't take him. No, no, please. It's too early, please let him be alive, please let him be alive."

Finally when he was standing right behind her he saw why she was digging there. Underneath a couple slabs of wood was Michael, eyes closed, unmoving.

JJ ran her hand along his face, "I'll get you out. I'll get you out of here Michael, you're gonna be fine. I promise that you're gonna be fine, okay? You are not going to die. Not today, not here." She spoke with more determination, more fierceness.

Reid helped her pull off the pieces of wood until his body was fully uncovered. He could already tell that Michael was gone, he had probably been standing too close to the bomb, but he still tested his pulse anyway when he felt JJ's eyes on him.

"JJ…" He started, "I'm sorry…"

JJ closed her eyes, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. She gripped Michael's shirt tightly in her fists. She looked up at Reid, tears in her eyes.

Reid gulped. He knew that he had to say it. She wouldn't accept it unless he said it out loud, "Michael is dead."

She shook her head, "No you're wrong. You're wrong! He's not dead. Not him! No. This isn't right! This shouldn't have happened! No! Bad things don't happen to good people! NO!" She shook the body, "Wake up! Please, wake up! Get up, Michael! Get up!"

Reid closed his eyes, "Stop it."

But JJ didn't stop. She kept trying to wake him up, kept pleading for him to get up or to open his eyes. She was screaming down at a body that was forever stilled.

Reid tugged on her arm, trying to get her to stop. "Jayje, c'mon. Stop." He commanded softly, gently.

She yanked her arm out of his grasp, "He's not dead! He can't be!"

"He's dead, Jayje!" He said, knowing it was harsh, but she had to hear it. "You have to stop! Nothing will bring him back, okay? He's gone for good." He grabbed her around the waist and started to pull her up off of the ground.

"No! NO! Let go of me! Let me go!" She yelled, struggling fiercely to get back to the body…and when that didn't work she turned around and started to fight Reid head on, punching his chest. She struggled and struggled in his arms, punching his chest over and over again until all of her energy was gone and she just melted into his arms, crying harder than he'd ever heard her cry.

"I watched him die." She whispered, eyes haunted by the image. "I watched him blow up, I saw…the whole thing." She gulped.

Reid rubbed her back, soothingly.

JJ wiped away her tears, but more kept flowing. "I could have saved him…I tried to, but I wasn't fast enough. It should have been me, I should be the one lying dead in that pile." She cried.

Reid shook his head, "Don't say that…everything happens for a reason, right?"

"I used to believe that." She breathed, "But I don't think I do anymore."

And after that, she didn't say anything, only cried. It seemed like the tears would never stop and he wondered why she was so emotional. He knew that Michael and JJ had been friends, but they'd all lost friends…he couldn't quite wrap his brain around why she was so sad about him in particular, but Reid still vowed to be there for her.

Morgan and Emily joined them later, neither of them saying anything as they approached.

They all just took a moment to honor that policeman and try desperately to ignore the sound of the strongest woman they knew crying her eyes out.

They all sat there until her tears stopped which felt like hours later. After that, she just looked tired and extremely depressed.

"Should we go to the hospital?" Morgan suggested, breaking the silence that had been held for at least an hour on end.

Emily nodded and so did Reid.

"Hey, Jayje. We need to take you to the hospital to get checked out, okay?" Reid asked her as gently as he could, but he wasn't even sure if she was listening.

A couple seconds passed before he saw her give the slightest shake of the head, she didn't want to leave and he didn't blame her, but she needed to get checked out.

"We have to make sure you aren't hurt." Reid moved her hair out of her face, "They'll be moving him there too."

JJ looked over her shoulder at Michael's body before staring down at the ground for a few more seconds and then nodding ever so slightly to tell him yes.

Reid nodded and gave Emily and Morgan a nod of confirmation. They both started walking away and Reid picked JJ up, carrying her carefully while she clung to him, arms around his neck.

The walk to the car seemed shorter on the way back, but there was a minor set-back when they passed Michael's car. It made the tears start to flow from JJ's eyes again, but they still managed to get her in the SUV.

Morgan and Emily sat in the front while Reid sat in the back with JJ leaned up against him, still crying. He had his arm around her, pulling her close. He used his other hand to gently move her hair out of her face whenever it fell.

Her eyes were puffy and swollen already from all the crying. She also had clear tear stains on her cheeks.

No one said anything on the ride down to the hospital. The drive dragged on and on for what felt like hours.

But finally, the hospital came into view and Morgan let out a sigh of relief. They all got out of the car, Reid carrying JJ, and walked into the hospital together. When they walked in, the waiting room was crowded with people…probably family members of the officers that were hurt. After started to walk through and getting sympathetic looks from most of the people, a doctor walked up to them with a stretcher.

"Is she one of the bomb victims?" He asked quickly.

Reid nodded, "She's also had previous concussions and head problems."

"Do you know how close she was to the blast?"

Reid didn't know why this was relevant, but he answered anyway. "She was pretty close. I would say 200 feet away at least." He answered, "Can I ask why?"

The doctor looked up, "We were informed by bomb technicians that the explosion was caused by gasoline and we have a lot of pure oxygen in tanks, even the smallest spark could cause a fire and then fire coming into contact with pure oxygen…I think you know how bad that would be, you look like a smart guy. So we have to wash her off before taking her to the main floor."

Reid blinked a few times. A gasoline explosion? How could he have missed that? He didn't smell any gas while they were there or in the car, but after the doctor had mentioned something, he noticed just how present the smell was. It was all over JJ and his arms, he would have to remember to wash his arms later.

He looked up when they started to wheel JJ away. She was lying still on the stretcher with a glazed look in her eyes. He turned back towards Morgan and Emily, letting out a long sigh.

"You okay, man?" Morgan asked.

Reid gave him a dismissive nod, walking towards one of the open seats. But the moment that he sat down, a woman walked up to him. He thought she looked a little bit familiar, but wasn't completely sure.

"Excuse me." She started, "That woman that you just carried in. Was that Jennifer Jareau?"

He nodded, confused. "Yes, why?"

She shook her head and sat down in the seat next to him, "I'm Lindsay Trusdale, Michael's mother. He used to best friends with her and he told me that she was here on a case, but then this happened. No one is telling me anything. I haven't seen Michael yet, but is Jennifer okay?"

Reid closed his eyes for a moment. He had to tell her, someone had to. "She'll be okay." He bit his lip, "Umm…Miss Trusdale. I-well, Agent Jareau and Officer Trusdale-"

"Michael." She had a friendly smile on her face.

Reid didn't want to do it. He didn't want to be the person that tore her apart, but…someone had to. And he would rather it be him than the Coroner. "Agent Jareau and…Michael were together…when it happened. There was a gunshot and she screamed, but before we could get in there the barn exploded. Agent Jareau had been far enough away from it to survive, but as for Michael…" He paused, "We believe that he had been standing too close to the bomb and was blown into a wall or some debris. They found his body on the scene."

Her smile dropped into a frown and her eyebrows creased, "What are you saying?"

"Miss Trusdale, your son is dead." Reid spoke slowly to let it sink in for her.

She gulped and shook her head, "N-no. Please God, no."

He watched as the tears poured out of her eyes, much like they did JJ's. He also noticed that she didn't have a husband with her…she didn't have anyone so he grabbed her and squeezed it as she cried.

Soon enough, after she had finished crying and sat in a stony silence, an officer walked into the waiting room. He made his way up to Miss Trusdale and held out an American flag with Michael's badge lying on top of it.

She reached out and took it in her own hands, sobbing into it.

And after that, an amazing thing happened. Much like a family members, two of the officers that had either been in the house or had been unharmed by the bomb, came over put their arms around her and started comforting her.

Reid stood up and moved out of his seat so that the officers could sit down on either side of her. He gave her one last nod before walking over to where Morgan and Emily were sitting on the other side of the room.

Morgan was on the phone, but Emily's eyes were behind Reid, on Miss Trusdale. She had a gloomy expression on her face. As Reid approached, she lifted her eyes to look up at him.

Without disturbing Morgan's phone call she spoke, "I saw what you did over there. You did the right thing, she needed to know." She took a pause, "Are you okay?"

At first, Reid didn't say anything. He couldn't get one question out of his mind. It was starting to bother him, but he wasn't sure why. "Why do you think she cried so hard about him?"

Emily's head snapped over to him, "Are you really asking that?" Her eyes narrowed, "She watched him die, Reid. I mean, sure, we've all seen people die, but this guy was one of her closest friends from college or something. It would be like me watching you die. It would be some of the worst moments of my life and these were probably the worst moments of hers. And you need to be there for her now instead of asking stupid questions."

Reid's head dropped, staring at the ground. He felt like a kid being scolded by an angry parent, but he knew that she was right. He was being shallow and jealous when he should be more concerned and supportive.

"I'm right, aren't I?" She wasn't even looking at him anymore, she had a magazine in her hands.

He nodded slowly, "Yes."

And in the moment, Morgan also finished his call on the phone. He muttered something about the rest of the team being on their way soon. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, resting his head against the wall behind them.

After that, for the next 20 minutes or so, none of them said a word. They were all engulfed in the thoughts and worries for their friend and her condition, not even so much physical condition, more like mental.

But eventually it was interrupted by the arrival of Rossi and Hotch whose expressions looked just as worried as they all felt.

"Have you heard anything?" Was the first thing that Hotch asked.

Morgan shook his head, "There are too many victims I guess. She didn't look too bad though, probably just some minor injuries." He muttered.

Hotch nodded and then he and Rossi both took a seat in the available seats next to Reid. Out of the corner of his eye, Reid saw Rossi's hands folded in his lap and noticed that his eyes were closed. And then it occurred to Reid that he might very well be praying, not only for JJ, but for all of the victims of the bomb.

Reid tried to forget about the fact that he wasn't much of a religious guy and that praying now would be like using religion only when he really needed it, instead of being completely committed, because he wanted to pray.

Because it somehow comforted him to think that someone was listening, even if there was no proof or science involved.

He prayed for JJ to be okay.

He prayed for all of the officers that had been hurt in the bombing and their families.

He prayed for Miss Trusdale, that maybe someday she would be able to come to terms with the death of her son.

And lastly, he prayed for Michael. That he'd had a good, prolonged life and a quick, painless death.

Amen.

He finished just in time. The moment that he opened his eyes, he noticed a doctor approaching them. "Agent Jareau?"

Reid recognized that doctor from earlier. It was the one that had explained the gasoline situation to them. He stood up so that he was face to face with him, "Yes."

He noticed the rest of the team get to their feet after him.

The doctor backed up a little bit so that he could see all of them, "Agent Jareau wasn't hurt too bad. She had two wounds to her head and also a large gash on her leg, which we had to clean out because it was covered in soot and dirt. And she also sustained another concussion, which put a lot of pressure on her brain. That adding to the pressure of the trauma and state that she was already in when she got here, caused her to become hysterical. She wouldn't let us touch her or help her in any way so I'm afraid we had to strap her to the bed. We would have used sedation, but we can't afford to use the drugs on patients that aren't critical."

Reid was shocked, "You…strapped her down?"

The doctor looked embarrassed, "I'm sorry that we had to do that. She was completely reckless; screaming, crying and hitting the doctors that were trying to help her. We might have to check her into the psychiatric ward if she doesn't calm down soon." He admitted.

"So you can strap her into a strait jacket and lock her into a cushioned room?" Reid muttered sarcastically, he was not okay with what was going on.

The doctor didn't laugh or even crack a smile, "Hospitals don't practice that type of treatment anymore, Dr. Reid. And frankly, you don't know her case. If we agree psychiatrics are what she needs, then that's where she'll go."

Hotch sent Reid a sideways glance, "Can we see her?"

The doctor considered this, "Yes. You can visit her, but I'm warning you. You'll want to prepare yourselves before you go in because she's in a hysterical, panic-stricken state that you won't recognize. She's not thinking straight and may not even talk at all, just be careful. Setting her off might be the worst thing you could do right now."

Most of the team nodded, except Reid. He was barely paying attention. He understood that JJ was vulnerable and acting crazy, but that wouldn't stop him from seeing her.

He knew that he had to see her and make sure that she was, in fact, okay. But he also wasn't completely sure what he was going to see behind that ominous, wooden door.