I had avoided Alyn the rest of that day as well as many to follow. I knew my words hurt him and I couldn't find it in myself to face him. I still hadn't found out what exactly happened here but the fact his parents did not reside here gave me enough explanation.
I still couldn't figure out why he chose to come here to such a tender and sensitive place. He was still having a hard time overcoming whatever happened in the past and being here was difficult. I was such an ass for treating him like I did, knowing now how much he had to put aside to come to this damned place.
Feeling like I should punish myself with the freezing air outside, I put on a coat and entered the snowy courtyard. My cheeks flushed as the cold bit against them and I instantly regretted my means of discipline. I deserve this. I should suffer for the pain I caused Alyn to suffer. Although his is more emotional than physical. Still, I hated the damn cold.
I trudge my feet through the crisp snow and realize I haven't thought this through. I'd die of hypothermia out here. I realize my idea is stupid and decide to return inside. That's when I hear the sound of water splashing. Was someone else out here? Curious, I decide to check it out.
I follow the source of the sound and round the side of the mansion to find a figure at the end of a small dock sticking out into a large pond. Dark, auburn hair brushes against the fur lining of his brown coat and I debate on approaching Alyn or retreating back inside. I couldn't keep beating myself up over this. I had to properly apologize to him. The worst he'd do is deny it. And possibly shun me. He avoided me just as much as I did him.
I shake my nerves away and give myself a small pep talk. I had to make amends. What was the point of hiding when my protector hated me and refused to even look at me?
My feet creak against the old wooden boards and Alyn turns around. I wait for him to push me away but he doesn't. He faces the pond and lifts his hand and tosses something along the surface. I watch as a rock skips across the twinkling water.
"Mind if I join you?" I say in hopes of breaking the awkwardness between us.
"Finally decided to leave your room today?" He said with a side glance. He reaches into his pocking and pulls out another small rock and skips it along the water.
"I didn't want to miss out on this exciting moment," I say hoping the rough humor will keep the mood light. I see a small smile tease at his lips and I take it as a good sign. He remains quiet as he skips another rock. My chest tightens and I let out what needs to be said.
"I'm sorry about the other day. I shouldn't have been looking through things that aren't mine. I don't know what happened to you but I know you're hurting. I know we're not exactly friends, so why would you bring someone like me to such a special place?"
Alyn stares out at the water for a long moment before speaking. "My father was a good friend of the king's and he'd supply some of the best swords and shields for his military. I told him I wanted to become a knight someday and he always told me to follow my dreams. When I was twelve, my brother and I were sent to live at the castle where Giles tutored us.I would watch the men practice swordplay and taught myself. I wanted to show my father how far I had come in such a short amount of time. I was in the middle of a lesson when we heard our family had been attacked by a man who had been jealous of my father's wealth. The king himself pulled my brother and I aside and told us our father had been killed in his study. It turned out, he was writing a will and a goodbye letter to us that night. He knew he was going to die."
That explained the paper I found and why it was stained. It was stained with his father's blood. "Alyn," I whisper. I wanted to say I was sorry for the words I had spoken and the pain I had caused. His fist clenched and I knew he hated the sound of pity in my voice as I said his name.
"He knew he was going to die and yet he didn't bother trying to escape. My brother and I were a days ride away. I should have been here. I blamed myself every day after that. Telling myself if I didn't want to be a knight so badly I'd have been there to protect him or at least died beside him trying."
"But your father wanted you to live," I murmured. "If he saw you now, he'd be proud of you."
"Maybe," he muttered while skipping another rock.
I reached for his hand and enveloped my frozen fingers around it. He looks at me, his eyes sad. I could only smile up at him. "I'm proud of you," I say.
His hand slides out and I wonder if I said the wrong thing. Instead, his hand cups the side of my face and I feel warmth as his lips collide with mine. The heat of his kiss coursed through me. I closed my eyes and let myself melt into it.
He pulled away and my body craved for that heat once more. My heart was racing and breaths came out in quick puffs of steam. My face burned.
His eyes gazed down into mine. I could see no trace of sadness lingering there any longer.
I couldn't get my mind to form any words. All I could think about was those lips and how they'd feel against mine once more. I step closer to him and let him embrace me, pulling me in and lifting my chin to allow him access.
He pulls away first and steps back. I gaze at him in longing, not wanting him to stop. To feel that warmth flow through me.
"I shouldn't have done that," he murmurs and covers his mouth with the back of his hand.
"Why?" I asked, my chest growing tight.
"I'm sorry," he said and suddenly walked away towards the manor. My chest gasped for air and I felt my arms begin to shake. I watched his back as he stepped around the edge of the large estate and I couldn't decide if I was angry or hurt. Or both.
Why did he kiss me and why did he react like that? Was he just caught up in the moment or did he just want to mess with me? To get back at me for hurting him the other day?
So many things ran through my mind and I couldn't handle it. I grab a large stone from the ground and chuck it into the pond with a loud scream of frustration.