Chapter 14: Proverbial Bitches
Fucking hell, Lucia was fast. Sebastian was being made fully aware how out of shape he was, as a result of trying to chase her down. One foul step on a poorly placed crack in the ground, and he went sprawling out across the cobble of the Pelican town streets in what could only be described as a land-based belly flop.
Groaning, he pulled himself up, and as soon as his feet were under him, he was back at it again. However, by the time Sebastian reached the entrance to Seabird Farm, his nerves and rationality had caught up with him. He subconsciously rubbed his cheek as he remembered her words about how she'd personally acquaint him with the back of her hand if he got near her again.
Maybe this wasn't the right way to do things. But that left a single question. What was the right way? That was the magic wellspring of knowledge that eluded him as he turned on heel and moved for the long path back home. He needed to proceed with caution. Think this through. There had to be a way to repair the wrongs he'd done. He knew there had been something growing between them, during their week in Zuzu. Had Sebastian really completely destroyed that?
Sighing, he resigned himself to the fact that if there was a solution, it didn't involve him stepping foot on the farm right now.
No, instead, the moody musician turned and made his way back to his home, the long way.
Sebastian was feeling pretty horrendously lost right now. He couldn't talk to his best friend, because honestly, he wasn't sure if they still were. He couldn't talk to Lucia, because he'd hurt her more than enough. Abi had never been good to talk with. He could feel himself sinking into a pit of his own making as he trudged on.
On arrival to his home, he looked at the door. Robin would pick up on his mood the moment she looked at him, if he went in. She had these weird mom-powers that seemed to always tip her off when something was up.
Pacing the yard for a bit, Sebastian thought. And he pondered. And he mused. Then he contemplated a bit. Considered, then pondered still a bit more. Nothing. He groaned as he crouched against the exterior wall of the house, just adjacent the door.
He wasn't alone much longer before finally Robin wondered out. The look on her face was the very one he'd expected. Concern.
The mother of two was no stranger to the moods of her eldest, and his melancholy was no exception. Though it had been notably absent in the last month, there was no mistaking it now. "Sebby…" Robin said tenderly as she clasped her hands behind her back and leaned against the wall alongside him.
"What's got you so down, love?" She asked, venturing a glance of the morose young man. "You were doing so well for so long. What's happened."
Sebastian wanted to be testy. He wanted to be standoffish. But Robin's gentle way of concern made him unable, so he just sighed. God, he wanted a smoke. But that was something he didn't do around his mom. "I just… Mom, I messed thing up. Really, really bad. I did something stupid, and I really hurt someone." He uttered a touch despondently.
Letting out a frustrated groan, he scrubbed his hands through his hair. "Lucia. I hurt Lucia… And now she hates me."
Robin winced, as she wasn't oblivious to her son's growing fondness of the redheaded farmer that lived down the way. "Why do you think she hates you, Sebastian?" She asked.
Sebastian glanced off into the distance. "Well… Mostly because she literally said the words 'I hate you'." He muttered, rubbing his palm over his face.
The ginger mother cringed. "Okay, so that is a bit of a stumbling block… But maybe things aren't damaged beyond repair. What did you even do?"
He pushed himself standing. "I…" He looked contemplative as to how much he should say, but ultimately, he decided that other than the pregnancy, he'd hide nothing. He needed to get this off of his chest and try to process it. "I lied to her mom… Well, more, I hid something."
Robin scratched her head. "Son, a lie by omission is still a lie. Secrets hurt."
Sebastian nodded. "I get that now. I was trying to protect her from something. And it all back fired."
He wasn't looking directly at her, but Robin could she the anxious tension squared away in his shoulders as he said what came next.
"I need you to keep this to yourself… Just, please?" Robin nodded and continued to listen.
"Lucia and Sam started dating. Like a month ago. The night of that show in Zuzu we all went to." His fists clenched and his knuckles went white as the next part of the story crossed his mind and left his lips. "But- but he slept with Abigail that night. They both got really drunk, but we didn't. So, we helped them to get cleaned up and down for the night. Then we left for food. They went at it while we were gone." He looked so angry.
Robin groaned. "How long did you keep it a secret? The whole month?"
Sebastian put his hands up. "No! I didn't know for sure until that day that me and Lucia took off for the city. That's- That's why I took her away from here. I wanted to protect her from it. Give her something good to balance all the bad I knew was coming."
Sighing, he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I told Sam he had till the end of the day to do it himself. To tell her the truth. But it came out a different way. And she is actually just as angry with me for not telling her sooner."
Robin tenderly placed a hand on his shoulder. "Son, you betrayed her trust in a big way. She's hurting right now, because, well, she feels like she can't trust Sam or you. She's still so new here, and she doesn't have family like your Sam do." She looked a bit sad. Sad for her son. And sad for Lucia too.
Sebastian seemed to be in turmoil about what came next. "I never wanted her to feel that way. I-" He closed his eyes for a moment, working to dig up the right words when it felt like they were all clumsy and clunky in his head on his tongue. "I wanted her to smile. So much, I wanted to make her happy, because I think… Fuck. I think I love her, or something."
Robin would have been amused at how awkward he was, if it wasn't so clear that he was in such turmoil. She moved to stand before him, smiling that same nurturing smile she always had. "My son, you've grown up in a lot of ways. You're smart. Quiet. Prone to getting lost. But you have such a light in you, even if it isn't always obvious to yourself." She pressed a hand to his cheek, and for a moment, the grown man felt every bit a child.
"Hope isn't gone just yet. But I don't have an answer for how to fix this, because it needs to come from you. No one else in the world can show her how you feel. So, give her some time. Write out your thoughts. Send them or don't. But in time, you'll figure out a way to show her through actions, not just words, what she means. From there, it is down to her."
Sebastian sighed, his head down. He felt vulnerable, and he hated it. Even around his mom, he hated not having control over things, especially within himself.
Robin stepped back. "Just, come in when you're ready. No rush. Demetrius and I will be heading to town soon, so it's leftovers for dinner." She turned to leave, but paused in the door. "I have every faith in you, Sebastian. You'll get through this somehow." And with that, the door closed, and Sebastian was left in the quiet of the dusk.
Eventually he did make his way down to his room. He tried the things that Robin suggested. He thought some more. Wrote a letter. Then promptly folded it up, and stowed it away in his nightstand desk. It was to the source of his aching conscious, but he'd resolved that he'd probably never show it to her. If nothing else, it had been cathartic.
He thought and he thought. Actions over words. What could he do to show her he cared that she was okay? Sebastian tried hard to come up with something. By now it was 8 pm, and becoming increasingly hard to think as his stomach began a growling protest of hunger. He hadn't eaten since lunch. Thank goodness there was always food in the fridge.
In his current mood of contemplation, he found that he couldn't imagine what it would be like not to know where his next meal was coming from. How did anyone live like that?
And then, it hit him. Midway through the making of a peanut butter sandwich, he dropped the knife and blinked. He couldn't imagine the pangs of hunger that came from an empty fridge. But Lucia knew that feeling only too well. That was something he could change. A way he could show her what her wellbeing meant to him.
Hastily Sebastian tossed the half-made sandwich on a plate, then bustled down the stairs to his room. Perching at his desk, he switched on his tower, checked his bank account, then frowned. Broke. He just barely had two pennies to rub together. But quickly enough the next idea came. He'd been away from his computer for a week. Checking his email, he was pleased to see three gigs that needed done, and make quick work of responding to them all.
It took almost no time to get responses, and when he did, he even had one willing to give him 75% up front if he had their website live by the start of business the next morning. It wasn't a small job, and he wasn't sure he'd ever faced a time crunch quite like this, and yet, he was confident in his skills. The pay was substantial. More than enough for his game plans.
Thus, began a marathon work session then likes of which he'd never experienced before. For two days he coded like a man possessed by the gods of tech. Code, test, code some more. He smashed the deadline for the first gig by a whole hour and a half. And frankly, it was some of his best work, if Sebastian did say so himself. The client had even kicked him in a bonus and a promise of more work to come. Though he wasn't sure if he ever wanted to do that much in one sitting again.
Then came the other two jobs, taken with frantic, manic energy and made his proverbial bitches.
Two days went in this way, with little sleep, and even no smoke breaks. His fingers screamed as they flew across, clattering down like thunder across the keys. Everything ached. Every joint and muscle. Sebastian was sure his eyes were ready to mutiny if they had to look at the harsh glow of the screen any longer.
The third day was spent in a deep, aggressive sleep that worried his family. But by the fourth day, in the earliest hours, he was up, and after a much-needed shower, his plan was set into motion.
Before even the first lights of dawn had peered sleepily over the mountain, Sebastian was on the mountain path heading down to the far. Clutched in his hand was a clumsily scrawled note.
Immediately he set to work, doing every chore he could manage before she would wake. In the past he'd worked for the old man that owned the Seabird Farms before Lucia, as a way to get pocket change for spending. So, he was able to do most things with no instruction.
And boy, was it a task. Whilst the animals seemed to have still been fed and tended, little else had been done, it was clear.
In the three hours from the time Sebastian arrived from the farm to 6 am, when she'd told him she usually woken, he was able to do everything all of the milking, collecting, and feeding, placing the produce of the morning in bins on the porch. But time was out, and he quickly pinned up a note on the door that said just this.
"The following things have been done:
-Animals all fed. X
-Eggs and produce collected X
-Goats and Cows Milked X"
Then as quickly as he came, Sebastian headed back to town, waiting for Pierre's to open. Never once had he seen Lucia do her shopping at Joja, and so he wouldn't do that either.
When 9 am rolled around, he was the first in the door of the general store, and he proceeded to buy anything and everything he thought a proper grocery trip might call for. By the end, he'd spent a ton, and bought so much food that he also had to buy an upgraded pack.
The number on the till made Pierre's eyes bulge, but he said nothing as Sebastian paid up.
He bid Pierre a reserved goodbye before taking off once again. It was a hell of a trek with so much on his back, and yet, he had no doubt that it was necessary.
On arriving at Lucia's home, he took a few restorative breaths, in equal parts to catch his breath, and to ready himself for what came next.
Finally, the time came that either he'd fix this, or he'd fail, and he stepped long into that abyss with a single series of knocks to the door.
Well, here went nothing.