Warning: Character Death

Kevin Debreno knew he had gotten older in the last thirty odd years. He felt it when Jack Mannion died. He felt it when his knees popped first thing in the morning. He saw it when the Grecian formula didn't cover all the grey. He saw it when he looked at the scale that tipped a little higher than ever. However, he had never felt as old as he did this week.

Sitting down next to his old friend on a couch he remembered helping them bring home, he gently pried the remote of Phil's grasp. He shut off the television, which was playing a loop of news stories about the bombing at Metro Police Headquaters.

"They keep mispronouncing her name," Phil's voice was monotone and lifeless.

Kevin's eyes squinted in confusion, "How? Nancy Brander is possibly the world's easiest name."

"No, Parras. They keep calling her Nancy Paris Brander. There's a difference."

"I know, Phil, I know," Kevin's hand rested lightly on Phil's knee. "You don't need to listen to them. You need to get some things organized. I talked to some girl with the FBI and they're going to release Nancy's body tomorrow."

"Emily."

Again Kevin blinked at his friend, "What?"

Phil turned to look at Kevin for the first time since he'd let himself in the front door, "The girl who identified Nancy is Emily Gibbs. She was Jack's first love and the girl that Nancy always wanted him to end up with. And now she had to indentify Na…" Phil just trailed off, unable to continue.

"Shit," Kevin whispered, thinking about the implication for both Phil and the young woman.

The two men sat in silence, side by side, thinking and composing themselves for several minutes. Finally, Phil was able speak again, "I don't know what to do, Kev. Part of me always knew that I could lose her to the job or to the Huntington's, but then she went into the clerical position and the treatments seemed to really be working and I thought… I thought I'd go first and I was selfish enough to want that."

"No one ever wants to be the one left behind, but someone always is. Phil, for your kids' sakes you need to be strong."

"I just don't know what to do."

"I know, but I can help with that." Kevin picked up the portfolio that he had brought in with him and laid it on the coffee table. "Remember the week before your wedding?"

Phil smiled fondly, "Vaguely."

"Well, remember when Nancy had dinner for me and the Chief at her place and you keep asking her what that was about and she kept telling you it was a surprise?"

Phil nodded, "You were planning our honeymoon trip, right?"

"No," Kevin sighed. "Nance asked us to tell you that, but honestly she asked us over to give us this."

Phil stared at the papers in his hands. Flipping slowly through them he came to the realization that what he held were Nancy's final wishes; her desires for her funeral and burial down to the clothes (her uniform of course) and her epitaph (changed to now read 'Beloved mother, wife and friend. Her love was thicker than blood'). Everything was clearly and carefully explained so that all he would have to do was hand the papers over to the funeral director. It made him sick.

"Why do you have this," Phil shook as he returned the papers to the portfolio.

"Because your wife loved and adored you." Kevin turned and sat on the coffee table so that he was eye to eye with Phil, "Nancy always believed that she would go first. She believed that her disease would eat away at her like it did her father until she wasn't the woman you married, she wasn't your… our Nancy. And she never, ever wanted to burden you with decisions when the time came. She asked the Chief and me to safe guard sections of this for her. When the Chief died last year, she revived it and gave it to me."

"But… But… But why didn't she give them to me," Phil's eyes were clouded with tears when he looked up at the man that had been so close to his wife.

Kevin rested his hands on Phil's shoulders, "Because she didn't want it lingering in this house, in your relationship. She wanted to live and love each day without worrying or making you worry about the future."

"In our wedding vows, she… she wrote that every day we had together was a gift and that she promised not to worry about the time when that gift would not be given, but to receive it each day with joy. She must have spent every day of her life wondering if it was her last."

"No, she spent every day of her life loving you and Jack and Ella."

A tear rolled down Phil's cheek, "I don't know what I'm going to do without her."

"Go on. Go on loving her and Jack and Ella. Go on to honor her and the family you created with her," Kevin pulled the larger man into an awkward hug as he began sobbing.

Together they mourned for the woman that bound them together.