Chapter 14: Adjusting

EPOV

I softly hummed her to sleep, ignoring the painful ache in my pants. How could she possibly think she's anything but beautiful. My dad had warned me that Bella might react negatively as we were able to start our sex life again. Some women jumped right back into it, and others feel insecure.

But I didn't see major changes in Bella's physique. Sure her stomach wasn't as flat as it was before the pregnancy, but I still loved it. I loved every inch of her, and nothing was ever going to change that. She was still the sexy Bella I fell in love with.

I wracked my brain trying to figure out how to show her how beautiful she still was. I wanted to take her out just the two of us. The weekend seemed like the perfect time, and I would have to talk to my mom or Alice to stay with him.

I wouldn't push her to do anything she wasn't ready for. We would take things slow, but I wanted her to be fully aware of how beautiful she was. She was the most beautiful person on the face of the planet, and she was mine.

Anthony's cries entered the room through the small monitor that Bella had placed on the nightstand. I slowly slipped out of bed walking to the nursery where Anthony was crying. "Hi big boy." I said picking him up as he curled into me his cries turning into whimpers.

I placed him on the changing table and his cries immediately set off again. "What's wrong?" I asked him picking him up again. It was obvious that Anthony enjoyed being held, and didn't like to be left alone.

"You're going to wake up mommy if you keep crying." I cooed making my way downstairs to get him a bottle. Bella tended to still breast feed, but I took over one or two times. Anthony needed to learn to drink from the bottle, because Bella would soon be heading back to school.

The house was still empty and I settled with Anthony on the couch. It took him a while to accept the bottle, and I had to remind myself to be patient. Anthony began to suck on the bottle, and I knew it was due to the skin to skin contact. The manual had advised that it was best for dads to feed their babies without their shirts. The warmth of skin reminded them of their moms.

I softly hummed as he drank. I loved the fact that I was able to help, and that Anthony was so comfortable with me. I felt like I could spend hours just holding and observing him.

BPOV

I woke up alone in my bed, and I couldn't help but feel that Edward had ran away. Not that I would blame him. I felt like my emotions were everywhere. I wanted us to be intimate again, and I had honestly felt like I was ready for it. I had even felt a bit confident.

Yet, I didn't know what had gotten over me. Everything had been perfect, until we had gotten to bed. My emotions just took over leaving me confused and scared. But I had an understanding husband. Edward was great. I had left him high and dry, and he didn't once complain. I was terrible wife and lover.

I grabbed a fluffy white robe just in case Esme and Carlisle had returned. Edward would probably be feeding Anthony. I checked the nursery before heading downstairs where I found my two boys on the couch.

Edward had finished feeding Anthony, since there was an empty Tigger bottle on the center table. Edward was on his back with Anthony lying on his bare chest. They were the perfect picture, and just seeing them made em teary eyed.

Edward turned to me when he heard my steps. He smiled and I felt my heart melt, he was way too good for me. "Why aren't you sleeping?" He asked as I shrugged sitting across from him on the armchair.

"The bed was cold without you." I answered with a weak smile. "I'm really sorry, Edward."

"There's nothing to be sorry for, my love." He assured me sitting up carefully. We didn't want to wake Anthony.

"I just feel so bad." I admitted staring down at my lap.

"Bella, it's normal for you to feel the way you do. I love you with all my being, and I still think you're as gorgeous as the first day I saw you." He added leaning over to kiss my cheek. "Why don't we go away for one night?"

I though about Edward's request. Going away for the night meant no interruptions, and a chance for me to work through all my insecurities. But it also meant leaving Anthony. I had left him in Esme's care for a two hours at most, but I had never been apart for him for any substantial amount of time. The thought terrified me.

"We don't have to, but it'd be easier for when school starts again." Edward reminded me as I nodded.

School started in three weeks, and I would have to leave Anthony to go to class. It was only one night, and I trusted Esme and Carlisle. They would look after my son as if he was their own.

"I think it's a good idea." I answered forcing a smile. "I just need to get used to the idea of leaving him for a little bit."

I hadn't realized that my voice was a bit louder, and that caused Anthony to begin to squirm. He was an overall calm infant, but he preferred being held by me. He would cry when others would hold him if I was in the room. The exception was Edward, but he still preferred for his mother to hold him.

I joined Edward on the couch taking Anthony in my arms. Anthony immediately cooed in satisfaction snuggling into me. I smiled at his actions as my fingers gently stroked his cheek. The love that surged within me for my son was incredible, and I knew it was different than everything I had ever expected.

EPOV

I had carried Anthony and Bella upstairs after they had both fallen asleep in my arms. Anthony slept the majority of nights in our room in an extra crib we had assembled. Neither Bella nor I felt comfortable leaving him on his own, even if the nursery was across the hall.

I made my way downstairs with an awake Anthony to get myself some breakfast. Bella had fallen asleep again after she had fed him, and I wanted to give her time to rest. She was constantly looking after our son.

"Morning" I greeted smiling at my parents who were having breakfast.

"Good morning, Edward." My mom said getting up to take her grandson.

"I've been replaced." I joked as my father laughed looking at my mom who was entranced by her grandson.

"You haven't been replaced." My mom corrected looking up to me. "Anthony just allows me to hold him, and I miss having Alice and you this small."

"I'm kidding, mom." I said giving her a kiss on the head before going to get coffee. "Are you two doing anything this weekend?"

"What do you mean?" My dad asked as I sighed.

"I wanted to take Bella out somewhere for the night. She's not exactly confident." I admitted and I knew both my parents understood.

"I'd love to stay with Anthony." My mom immediately answered.

"It'll be no problem, you two need your time together." My father replied taking his grandson from my mom.

Bella awoke at around lunchtime. "Why did you let me sleep so long?" She asked walking into the living room where I was seated with Anthony in his bouncy seat.

"You needed your rest, love." I said kissing her temple as she sat on top of me. "I spoke to mom and dad. They'll watch Anthony this weekend."

I felt her stiffen in my arms before relaxing. It was hard for me to leave him to, but I had done it for longer periods of time than he had. "We don't have to." I reminded her as she turned to me and kissed me.

"I want to." She answered confidently.

"Pizza's here!" Emmett yelled as he walked in causing Anthony to cry.

"Emmett!" Rose seethed as he covered his mouth.

"Sorry," He mumbled as Bella picked up Anthony.

"He should be hungry." I said to Bella who nodded. It had been just over two hours since I had bottle fed him.

"I'll go feed him." Bella said as Alice walked in with an arm full of bags from Gap Kids. She had obviously gone Christmas shopping.

"Anthony is getting much more action than you are, Edward." Emmett commented grabbing a slice as I glared at him.

"He needs to feed." I answered as Bella shot daggers at him, but went upstairs closely followed by Alice and Rose.

"You're not getting fed," Emmett added as I punched his arm.

"Since when do you care about your sister's sex life." I pointed out as he shuddered.

"Don't speak about things you'd rather not know." Jasper pointed out with a laugh as he grabbed his own slice.

BPOV

I settled on my rocking chair beginning to feed Anthony. I knew that the girls weren't that far off, and Rose had probably stopped to help Alice put her purchases in her room. "So, how was last night?" Rose asked coming in closely followed by Alice.

"What makes you think anything happened?" I asked in an incredulous tone. Alice and Rose were my best friends, but they seemed to know more about me than I knew myself.

"Spill it, Bella." Alice ordered leaning against the changing table.

"You had your six week check-up and that the all clear one, so spill." Rosalie added as I sighed.

"Well, I bought a black, silk night gown and had everything set up. Anthony was sleeping and I was all seductive, and Edward was more than ready." I started before biting my lip. How could I talk about this in front of my son?

"Come on, Bella. He's not even two months old. Believe me, he does not understand." Alice interjected, and I knew she was right.

"Fine." I said taking a deep breath. "I freaked, I started crying."

"What? Why?" Rose said kneeling by my side.

"I couldn't help it. I mean look at me, I'm a fat cow." I said gesturing to my body before switching Anthony to my other breast.

"Listen to me, Bella." Rose began. "I would kill to have your body after I have kids."

"Plus you're still loosing weight, and you're still a little swollen from the C-section. You'll be back to normal in no time." Alice stated coming to my side as well.

"I know, I just feel insecure. I don't want to let him down." I admitted a tear falling down my cheek.

"Have you seen the way he looks at you?" Rose asked as I shook my head. I hadn't really noticed.

"My brother loves you, Bella. And you should see his face everytime you feed Anthony." Alice added with a wink.

"I think he's jealous." Rose continued as I rolled my eyes a smile appearing on my face.

"He wants to take me out this weekend, just the two of us." I replied as they both smiled.

"Perfect, are mom and dad staying with Anthony?" Alice asked as I nodded gently burping Anthony.

"Can I?" Rose asked as I gave her Anthony. She tended to be very cautious, and I was surprised that she had taken him.

"Just support the head." I instructed as she slowly walked around the room holding him.

"I'll take care of him anytime, Bells." She added as I smiled. I was glad to have such wonderful and attentive friends.

A/N: Bella doesn't see herself clearly, but we all expected that.

I want to thank you all for the stories of your kids/siblings/cousins. They really make me laugh. I do have a couple of more ideas, and I hope you guys will keep sending them my way.

Next Chapter: Does Bella get over her insecurities?

Muggleinlove