Hi guys! I'm all moved into my dorm room and I thought before I go get breakfast I'd give you guys a treat! I have officially finished writing this story and I will post chapter every other day or so. Maybe everyday. Anyways, enjoy.
Shoutouts: To my awesome roomie/bestie
Warnings: Fluffiness and fangirling
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any other fandoms mentioned.
My day with Rebecca is awesome. We spend most of it talking about books and movies. It turns out we have a lot in common. She may become the Clint to my Natasha or the Bucky to my Steve. Everyone needs a best friend, after all. And it would be kinda awesome to have a best friend with powers. I've already made Bucky watch the Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and Divergent movies, but he's also been slowly reading my favorite books. We don't have a lot of downtime with Toby and all the other stuff that has been going on.
"They need to stop making the characters that we're supposed to hate attractive," I rant, "I mean, how am I supposed to hate a guy with perfect abs? Even if I do have a boyfriend that's hotter than any of them will ever be." I add that because Bucky is in the next room and I know he'll be a little embarrassed by the comment.
"I get what you mean," she says, "But I'd rather look at a villian with a pretty face then one that looks like - well, President Snow for example."
"He's supposed to be an old man, Rebecca. Look at Valentine Morganstern. Yeah, he's evil, but he does not have a pretty face."
"Who?" she asks me.
"Do the world a favor and read The Mortal Instruments. You'll love it. It's pretty awesome," I say, "Right, hun?"
"Which one was that? The one where all the people have British accents even though the movie is set in New York City?"
"That's the one," I smile.
Our talks about movies and characters went on and on until she left the next day. We exchanged numbers and decided we needed to get back together. Plus, now I had another movie going buddy that fully understood the storyline. Bucky was good company, but he asked a lot of questions after those sort of movies. I had Harry Potter questions for days after I made him watch all the movies.
"So, are you going to tell me now?" She says as we head down in the elevator.
"Tell you? Oh your father. Right," I say, "Your father is Bruce Banner."
"WHAT?" she exclaims, "Are you kidding me? My father is an Avenger? One that turns into a big, green monster?
"That's the one," I say, "When he gets back from their mission you need to talk to him."
"Yeah, no kidding. I wonder if he knew," Rebecca ponders.
"He doesn't. Your mother, Dr. Elizabeth Ross, never told him. They had already broken up when she found out about you," I say, "Oh, I looked into it. She died a few years ago in a car crash. I'm sorry."
"It's alright. It would have been nice to meet her, but I guess it doesn't matter," she sighs, "Thank you so much, Jessica."
"Yeah, no problem. You can always find where she's buried and visit her grave. That's what I always did with Bucky while I was pregnant and thought he was dead."
"Thanks. I might just do that," she smiles as the elevator reaches the lobby. I see her to the car before I head back up to the apartment.
"I'm glad you made a friend," Bucky says, "But did you really name our son after a book character?"
"Yep, and if we have any other kids, that's not going to change. Sorry, honey," I smile at him. He walks up behind me and wraps his arms around me. His real arm is tighter than the fake one.
"Do you do that on purpose?" I ask him.
"Do what?" he asks, his voice clearly confused. I really need to ask more specific questions.
"Your left arm is around me tighter than your right."
"You mean my fake arm. I guess I'm just a little bit cautious with the fake one. I don't want to hurt you. It's a little bit stronger than the real one."
"I know, but Bucky, you act afraid of it. You hardly touch me with it. I love all of you, Bucky. Even the metal part. Now you need to embrace the fact that it is part of you."
"I guess I still think of it as the Hydra part of me. Like it'll always be a reminder of who I was," he says.
"All that it is a reminder of is that you would have given your life to protect Steve and your country," I say, "And if it wasn't for Hydra, you would have died. Then what? I'd be alone and Toby wouldn't have a father. Yes, Hydra made you do awful things, but you shouldn't associate your arm with that. If you want I'm sure Stark could make you a new and improved one. But I like this Bucky."
"I'll stick with this one. I don't think what's left of my real left arm would appreciate it very much."
"Wait, it's not all gone?" I ask. I'd never thought about it.
"When they rescued me my arm was cut off above the elbow. I've seen the pictures and my file. Infection made them take more of it off. But yes, there is a little bit left. Not much though."
"Oh," I say, "I'm sorry I keep asking questions like this. I've always been curious about things. I guess that's why I wanted to be a scientist."
"You never told me that," he says, "I knew you were in college, but I had no idea what for."
"Biology," I say, "I wanted to be a biologist. At least until my writing career took off. Writing was my real dream."
"So why did you give it up?" he asked me.
"I can think of one reason," I say, "He's in his room asleep."
"Do you really think Tobias would want you to be the only thing standing in th way of your dream?"
"I guess not, but I have no idea what I'd even write about. I guess that's why I wasn't focused on that path."
"Write about our story. A single mother who lost her husband in the war and then a new love literally drops into her life and she falls in love slowly with him."
"That's a great idea," I smile, "I guess you get to be my muse, Bucky. You can keep me on track with everything. But Tobias still comes first."
"I know, honey. I wouldn't ask anything else of you," he kisses the top of my head and I turn around in his arms and press my lips to his. He kisses me back and I don't want him to stop I put my hand on the back of his neck to keep him from breaking away. We only part to breathe, then we're pressed back together. I part my lips and we're exploring each other's mouths. He maneuvers us to the couch without breaking apart. I settle on his lap and suddenly we're like two high school students making out in the basement of someone's house. It takes a little while for me to finally bring myself to pull away.
"Did I do something wrong?" he blinks.
"No, I just don't want to push things any further. Not yet," I say, "I'm waiting for the right time. And possibly a time when our son isn't sleeping upstairs."
"Right," he says. I move off of him, but I press close to his side and my head is on his shoulder. I know very well what side of him I'm on.
"Uh, Jess, you're umm…" he stammers.
"I know," I lace my fingers through the spaces between his metal ones, "I told you. I don't mind the fake arm. This is me embracing it." He didn't say anything. He just turned on Netflix and turned on Supernatural, which was the latest thing that I go him into. I refused to answer any questions about the show, though. I told him to wait and find out. The episode that started was one of my favorites by far. It was the one where Sam and Dean get thrust into different shows by the 'trickster.' Bucky was very confused and I realized he probably hasn't seen most of the shows they were joking about.
A few days later I had my first therapy session. I left Gabi had gotten back the night before with the other Avengers, so I left Toby in their capable hands for a little while.
The therapist was one Agent Hill had pointed me towards. I called her and told her that I thought it would be good for both Bucky and I and she agreed and had given me the number of one that knew of SHIELD and that several agents have gone too. I wasn't sure how much I wanted to tell her. For now I'd just stick with the kidnapping thing.
We are in the waiting room when my name is called and then follow the therapist back into the room. I take a seat on the couch and Bucky sits down beside me.
"Hello Miss Arnold," she smiles at me, "Who is your companion?"
"Call me Jessica, please," I say, "And this is my boyfriend, Bucky. He's just here for moral support. I hope that's okay."
"That's fine. He can participate if he likes, but there is no pressure," she tells me, "My name is Amelia. Would you like to tell me about yourself and why you're here."
"Well, I just have a lot going on and I'm pretty stressed out," I tell her, "A few weeks ago I was kidnapped by a scientific organization that messed around with my genetics. I was terrified they wouldn't let me go. That they could use me for something. I was afraid I'd never see my friend and family again. Our son Toby turns one tomorrow and he is my life. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost him."
"How much time do you spend with your son?" she asks me.
"Most of it," I say, "I don't have a job. After an incident with SHIELD, they are giving me a lot of money."
"That's right. You and your friend were the time travel girls, weren't you. You've only been back about a year now."
"Yeah," I say, surprised she knew about that.
"What did you want to do before you had your adventure and your son?" she asks me.
"I wanted to be a writer," I say, "Bucky says that I still should be one. I just don't want to neglect my family."
"Honey, it wouldn't be neglecting," Bucky says, "I want you to be happy. I understand completely. You need to follow your dreams."
"I know, but what about you? What about your dreams? You've given them up too," I say, "You never told me what you want."
"I already have what I want. I served my country and now I have a beautiful girlfriend and an amazing son. That's all I could ever want." I blush at his comment.
"You have no idea how happy I am when you say things like that," I tell him.
"I'm just glad I can make you happy," he smiles at me.
"Of course you can. We're supposed to be together," I say, "I just know it."
"Well, it's clear you guys don't have any relationship problems," Amelia says, "So let's focus on the real problems. Now, what happened after you were rescued from the scientific organization?"
"I wasn't rescued. They let me go. They were done with me. I was dumped in a hospital by them. Then SHIELD took me in and checked me over thoroughly. It was like I was with the people who kidnapped me again. Except SHIELD kept me awake."
"That must have been stressful," she comments, "How did you feel?"
"A little violated. Angry at the people who had kidnapped me and worried about and missing my family."
After the hour of therapy, I feel better. We make the next appointment and go pick up Toby from Gabi.
"He really is a sweetheart," Gabi tells me, "I hope when I have kids they turn out that way."
"With Steve as a father, how could they not?" I smile.
"I don't know. You might have little Punks running around," Bucky jokes and he lifts a half asleep Tobias into his arms.
"Thank you for watching him," I say, "When are you leaving again?"
"Well, we found the guy we were looking for. I think we're fine now. Tony's having a party Friday night."
"Be careful. Don't do too much drinking. Although I bet you can't get drunk either," I say, "Given your serum."
"Yep. I'm part of that club," she said, "Along with my husband and your boyfriend. Well, I better go. I have training and whatnot. Bye." It's a little odd that she rushes us out so quickly. I wonder what's going on. It's probably not my business. We go back to the car and Bucky drives us home.
"I wonder what's up with Gabi," Bucky says, "She doesn't usually act like that. I should know. I practically raised her."
"If she wants to tell us, she can," I say, "If not, it's not our business. She's allowed to have her own private life."
"True," I say. We get home but I tell Bucy I have an errand to run and tell him to take Toby to bed. I leave and head out to do something that will make Bucky very happy, or at least I hope so.
The next day is Toby's birthday. The three of us celebrate it as a family rather than throwing another party. I make a point of wearing the dog tags outside of my shirt rather than under it like I usually have them. Bucky notices, but he doesn't say anything. I'm sure he just thought it was because today is a special day.
After I'm showered and dressed, I get Toby up and get him his usual breakfast - applesauce. Then I take him upstairs and give him a bath. Toby loves bathtime for some reason. I smile and playfully spike his blonde hair up into a mohawk with shampoo.
"Happy birthday, my little soldier," I tell him. I'm sure he doesn't understand, but that day back in 1946 changed my life for the better. I love my son so much and I'm glad that I found his daddy again when he was still a baby. I finish his bath and dress him up in a cute new outfit I got for his birthday and attach a ribbon to it that says 'I'm 1!'
"You're such a little cutie," I smile, "Today is going to be so much fun. Except you'll need another bath later, I'm sure. You'll probably get frosting in your hair."
"Being dirty builds character," Bucky smiles as he walks up to me as I exit the bathroom with Toby.
"Then what does being covered in frosting do?" I ask him.
"Makes you really sweet?" he suggests and we both laugh.
"Come on, let's head downstairs," I say, "We have a big day today. Hopefully no one kidnaps me from the zoo this time, though. Did you put his stroller in the cr last night like I told you to?"
"Of course I did," he says, "I always listen to you. Are we going to have lunch at the zoo?"
"Probably," I say, "I didn't pack a lunch this time. Come on, let's head out."
We take Toby to see the lions first, which gave him his third word.
"Kitty!" he exclaims when he sees the lions.
"Yes, Toby, those are really big kitties. They're called lions. Can you say lions?"
"Kitty!" he repeats and I just smile. He's too cute to not smile.
"Those are Daddy's favorite kind of kitties," Bucky smiles, "They're so big."
Toby end up loving the polar bears. They are the last animal we look at in the zoo and when we try to leave, Toby starts to cry.
"Toby, we can visit the polar bears another time, okay? We need to go home," I say, "We'll come back. I promise." I make a mental note to find a stuffed polar bear somewhere to give to Toby. I'm sure he would love that. However, I do let Toby watch the polar bears for another five minutes. He falls asleep before the time is up. Since he's asleep, Bucky and I go into the gift shop and get him a stuffed polar bear before we go home.
When he wakes up from his nap, I bring him downstairs so we can give him a few birthday gifts. We had decided a week before that we would only give him a few because he was still really little. We give him the polar bear first, which is a bit of a mistake. It's almost as big as he is. He wraps his little arms around it and won't let go.
"Don't you want your other presents, buddy?" Bucky asks, but he seems content with his polar bear.
"I guess we can give him the others later," I say, "Except for this." I pick up a small rectangular box and open it up, pulling out a little necklace with a dog tag on it. Bucky looks at it and frowns.
"If that's mine from the war, then how do you still have yours?" he asks me.
"Because I got a second one made," I say, taking my necklace off and putting it in his hand. It was exactly the same as the others, except for one thing. Steve's name was replaced with mine.
"See, I knew that if you go your tags after you met me, you would have used me as your next of kin. So I had a new one made so I could give one to Toby too. Toby has one of each too." The next two words out of his mouth are two that I will have trouble believing for quite a long time.
"Marry me."