46. Okay, I behaved. I killed a guy. BUT I STILL BEHAVED. I. want. To go. To the carnival! They said they're giving me one more week to redeem myself, but I wanna go TODAY! I've been a good little flower all week. Why can't I go!?

47. Frisk isn't going today, either. He said he wouldn't go if I can't go. At least that's an improvement. If I can't go, NOBODY goes.

48. Frisk wanted to play with me, but I wasn't in the mood. I spent the whole day drawing and eating his gummy worms. I mistook one with a crayon. That was dumb. I nearly choked myself!

49. I miss Chara. I miss having arms and legs. One time we were playing nearby Waterfall. In a remote part where not many monsters go by. It was Chara's idea to come there. I was reluctant, but adventurous and decided to join her.

It started out as any one of our games. We were playing pirates, looking for buried treasure. Only we had no shovels. And the particular plants surrounding us had very sharp thorns. Some of them even pierced into our pants. Chara didn't seem to care. She'd scrape through the dirt like it was nobody's business.

As for me, I wasn't so lucky. My hands and feet were covered in thorns. Eventually it hurt to move them. I cried out like a baby that it was too painful and that I couldn't take anymore, but Chara merely smiled and said, "One day, you'll wish for this pain to come back." I knew Chara had a rough life on the surface, yet I thought she had just lost it from all the blood trickling down her fingers. But now I know. I know EXACTLY what she was talking about.

Eventually Gerson spotted us. He took us all the way back to the king. Dad was horrified while Mom was outraged. After dad bandaged up Chara's hands, she started plucking the thorns off my feet and massaging them. She massaged them with her battered hands. The bandages made my feet tingle in a way that no one else could have or ever could. After that, I begged her constantly to massage my feet again until the day she died.

I have no feet now. But my roots feel so numb that they could ache. I don't think my SOUL was in my chest anymore. It was in my feet.

50. I drew a picture of Chara and I together. With the thorns and we're wearing our friendship lockets. It's LONG past bedtime. Frisk had fallen asleep hours ago. I'm trying to keep my eyes open.

I hide all my my drawings in an old book from the Ruins. I don't think Toriel likes the book I chose and that's just perfect. I don't lmg anyone to looking at my drawings. I don't want anyone looking in these journals. At least this has a password. These drawings don't.

Also, Frisk has a rope under his bed. Don't ask me why that's there. I don't care. I can't feel anything at all. Why do you thin I hate it here so much.

Anyway, I'm going to bed. I just can't seem to type tonight. Or stay awake.