Well it's been over four months since I last updated this, things have been busy and I pretty much lost interest for a while. I haven't abandoned this story though, so don't worry. I still plan on finishing but updates won't be as regular as they were.

Thank you to everyone who has been reading during my absence, especially those of you who left a review there were quite a few really nice ones which probably pushed me to get this updated! So thanks guys you still rock!

Also eight more reviews and I'm at 100! Yay!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters associated with it.

Vodka and Nicotine

Chapter Fourteen

Backwards: adjective - from a better to a worse state.

I woke slowly, bit-by-bit, still drowsy from sleep. I felt soft fingers tracing circles on my bare back, tiny little things slowly getting bigger and bigger. I smiled as I realised who it was. Slowly I turned to face him, he had the cutest little smile on his face, his hair all sexy and dishevelled from where it had lain on my pillow.

"You stayed." I mumbled sleepily.

"Of course I did, you asked me to." He told me, leaning forward to capture my mouth with his.

"Mmm, I like this." I whispered into his lips, pulling myself closer to him, our naked bodies pressing up against one another.

"I like it too." He murmured back, his hands sliding further down my back to cup my ass.

I giggled when he gave it a firm squeeze before pulling back to look at him.

"I'm glad you're still here." I told him excitedly as I jumped from the bed to find a tank top and some shorts.

"Why's that then?" Edward asked, watching me curiously from his spot on the bed.

"It means I get to make you breakfast."

Edward chuckled softly before rising from the bed to fully expose his hot naked butt. I couldn't help but stare at how firm it was. It made me want to go over there and lick him but somehow I managed to restrain myself.

Edward turned to see me staring, which of course only made me stare more, I mean he was giving me a full frontal view of his penis and oh my god I think I was blushing. He chuckled again, this time at the crimson staining my cheeks, then pulled on his jeans from last night, sans boxers. Hot.

We made our way into the kitchen, Edward still shirtless, which was ever so slightly distracting but I'd get over it, eventually.

"What are you going to make me, chef?" Edward grinned, plopping himself onto a stool at the kitchen counter.

"It's a surprise." I replied tapping my forehead lightly.

We ended up with bacon bagels and very strong black coffee, just the way I liked it, another thing I had picked up from my dad. He used to drink it every morning before work, making the whole kitchen smell of the strong aroma. No sugar, no milk and definitely not instant!

"Mmm you're a good cook." Edward commented when his plate was empty and he had licked the grease off his fingers.

"That was easy," I told him. "I'll make you something a little more complicated next time."

"Well that was good enough."

"Thank you," I said with a smile. "But you haven't had the best bit yet."

"There's more?" He cocked his eyebrow.

"Mhmm."

I quickly left the room, returning shortly with a carton of Marlboros.

"Nicotine." I told him, holding the box out for him.

He took one gratefully and we sat in silence for a while, drinking coffee and smoking peacefully. Pure bliss.

"What do you want to do today?" He asked me after a while.

"I thought we could go to the movies. Throw popcorn at people in the front row, you know?"

"Sounds like a plan." He agreed.

I drove us there. The mercedes was probably a bit too fancy to take to the movies.

The theatre was crowded, what with it being a Saturday and all, so we had to cue for the box office.

"What would you like to see?" Edward asked me.

"Are there any good horrors showing?" I asked.

I was a sucker for a good horror movie. Jaz and I used to rent the really old ones and watch them in the dark. We hadn't done it in awhile though, I missed it.

"There are two, hush or the closet." He told me, reading from the screen ahead of us.

"The closet sound like some boogieman rip off, so I'm gonna go for hush."

"Good choice."

Edward paid, much to my disapproval. I tried to shove a twenty at the clerk but Edward was having none of it, he swatted my hand away, giving the girl behind the counter a grin. She took his money.

"But you paid for dinner!" I protested.

"This is a date isn't it?" He asked me.

I nodded.

"Then I get to pay."

I made up for it by paying for the popcorn and soda. They were both gigantic. My reasoning behind it was that we needed at least half a tub of popcorn to throw and the rest could be eaten, as for the soda… it was always better to match.

The movie was terrifying. I screamed several times and ended up burying my head in Edwards shoulder half the time. It was rare for me to find a movie that really scared the shit out of me so I was happy with today's outcome despite the nightmares that were sure to occur tonight.

"What now?" I asked when we were both back in my car.

"Sorry, I promised my mom I'd help her with something's today."

"That's okay." I smiled; secretly I was kind of disappointed.

It had been nice to spend time with Edward like this, normally. Dinner and a movie, that's what normal relationships were like, right?

I drove back to my place so that Edward could take the mercedes home. There was a sinking feeling in my stomach when we got out of the Impala. I stood nervously on the sidewalk, learning up against the car door, not really sure what to do.

Edward smiled, taking my face between his hands before kissing me softly on the lips. It was feather soft, just barley a brushing of skin on skin but it still managed to take my breath away and leave me feeling dizzy.

"I had a good time today; I'd love to do it again." Edward said before pulling away and making his way over to his car.

"Will you call me?" I asked, it sounded a little desperate but maybe I was.

"I promise."

I called Alice as soon as I got upstairs retelling everything that had happened since yesterday minus the sex. I was pretty sure she didn't want to hear about her brother's awesome penis.

It turned out she was too busy to hang out today but told me to call Jasper.

"Are you not with him?" I asked in surprise.

Of course they didn't have to do everything together but it was weird for her to be busy without him.

"No, I have a family thing but you should definitely call him."

"Okay, I will. Talk to you later Ali."

I dialled Jasper straight away, he answered on the very first ring, which was rather unusual for him.

"S'up Swan?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Not much, just wondering if you wanted to hang tonight. We could play some rockband then hit a club?"

"Yeah that sounds good. How'd the date go?"

"I'll tell you all about it when I see you; I'll be over in half an hour, yeah?"

"Alrighty then, see you soon sugar." He replied before clicking off.

Thirty minutes later and I was rocking it out on a plastic guitar while Jaz sang him way through "Carry on my wayward son".

It hadn't taken me long to throw on a pair of skinnies, converses and an old NIN band shirt. I wasn't trying to impress anyone tonight so only minimal effort was required on my part.

We headed to the club at about nine, deciding to go for Le Nouveau Noir, a fairly new place situated downtown.

Although the bouncer studied my fake ID carefully, a quick smile and tug on my hair seemed to persuade him I was old enough to get in.

The music was more varied than Cellar Door, not all of it was to my taste but the atmosphere made up for that. The last time I'd been here was July, when Jacob and I were still together. We entered and headed directly to the bar. It was pretty packed already; Saturday's always were, even this early.

We did shot's to begin with, Jaz and I both had tequila then ordered our drinks. Jaz went with gin. I went with vodka.

"So tell me how dinner went, Alice said you didn't call last night." Jasper said, leaning up against the bar, his eyes lazily scanned the dance floor as he talked.

"I called her today. Dinner was great. It was nice, doing something normal, you know? He's really sweet, Jasper. I didn't expect it to be like that." I smiled to myself, remembering the way he had kissed me this afternoon.

Jasper grinned at me before taking a large gulp of his drink.

"I'm happy for you, Bella but just be careful, okay? I don't want you getting hurt."

He really was like an older brother to me sometimes and although I rolled my eyes, I was truly grateful he cared enough to try and protect me like that.

"Dance with me?" I asked, grabbing his hand.

We made our way to the dance floor, our drinks clutched in one hand, our fingers interlaced in the other.

He moved in close, holding my hip firmly as we grinded to the music. I went down low, slowly dragging my body down his before rising again. I smiled at the look he gave me when we were level to one another.

"Don't let Alice catch you doing that." He whispered in my ear before pressing up against me.

I could feel his hard on through my jeans, which only made me grin wider.

Sure Jaz and I were just friends. We didn't look at each other in a sexual way at all but he was only human and a guy at that, my dance moves usually had this effect on the opposite sex and he knew that.

"Can you handle it?" I whispered back before turning my back to him and grinding my ass against his erection. I heard him let out a low growl at the initial contact before he was moving his hips along with mine, never breaking contact.

"Bella…" Jasper said as the song was drawing to an end, he pushed me away slightly, I turned in confusion wondering what was wrong.

"What is it?"

"Edward…" Was his reply.

I gave him a questioning look but he just pointed towards the bar. Sure enough there was Edward standing with the big guy from his party, what was his name? Em something?

"I thought he had a family thing?" I asked Jasper, my gaze never left the bar.

"He probably finished whatever it was he was doing and got bored." I felt Jasper's hand on my arm. I could tell he was trying to reassure me.

Just then Edward looked my way, his eyes meeting mine briefly before quickly looking away. There was something in them that made me feel uneasy…

"He just saw me, should I go over?" I finally turned to look at Jaz who was wearing an expression of pity. Was it for me?

"Sure Bee, just remember what I said."

I nodded before pushing my way through the crowd to the bar. The big guy was gone now, it was just Edward.

"Hi." I said softly when I reached him.

At first he didn't turn. Just stared straight ahead before downing his drink. Finally he turned to look at me, his pupils blow wide, red rimmed and dazed. He was high.

"Bella… what are you doing here?" He asked leaning in close.

He smelt like whiskey, his cool breath fanned over my face, engulfing me in the scent. His hair was all over the place, his lips looked dry and chapped. He looked nothing like the boy I'd said goodbye to earlier today.

"I came with Jasper," I choked out, waving my hand somewhere behind me. "What are you doing here?"

"Emmett wanted to hang, that a crime?" His voice was harsh, his eyes hard.

"What? No… I… Sorry…" I stuttered pathetically. I honestly didn't know how to respond.

"Whatever, Bella, I'm out with a friend, can I call you tomorrow?" He was already turning back to the bar before he'd finished his sentence.

I felt a stab of pain in my chest, the familiar sting of tears in my eyes. I couldn't even speak, didn't want to. We were back to square one. My god he was so fucking bipolar it made me want to scream. Whatever.

I pushed my way back to Jasper, one look was all it took for him to lead me outside.

"What did that mother fucker do?" He spat once we were on the sidewalk next to the club.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and told myself to chill out. Don't blow this out of proportion and do not let it get to me. Jasper was trying to protect me, I got that but this really wasn't such a big deal was it? I thought we had moved past the whole hot and cold stage but apparently not. However it was becoming more and more clear that Edward's drug use was the sole reason for his mood swings.

"It's fine. He was with his friend. Can we go now? I'm tired, just wanna head to bed." It was a poor performance, I knew it, Jasper knew it… but he let it slide.

"Sure… will you be okay?" He took my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Super." I grinned.

"Okay then, let me get you home girl."

We shared a taxi, I shoved a ten in his hand before getting out, then gave him a quick peck on the cheek before heading upstairs. The apartment was empty, not that I really cared, I was heading straight for bed anyway.

My bed was still crumpled from this morning, the sheets thrown back, the pillows askew. I sighed before changing into a tank top and shorts. I closed the curtains over, blocking out the lights from the street bellow, then climbed into bed, pulling the duvet right up to my chin.

Laying in the dark I could smell him on the sheets, the pain in my chest came back and all I wished for at that exact moment in time was his arms around me, protecting me from the pain he had caused. Just when I though we were getting somewhere it seemed we were merely going backwards.