Downton 1913

Sam

He has been pacing the house aimlessly for a while now because he doesn't know what to do. He has no idea what to put in his best-man's-speech. Matthew asked him to be the best man at his wedding before he had even proposed to Mary, but then Matthew had been sure that Mary would say yes and Matthew had wanted to show the ring to someone. He had of course given Matthew the "don't hurt my sister or I'll have you torn apart by wild dogs" speech then, but more out of a sense of obligation to his older sister than out of real fear that Matthew would ever hurt Mary. Because that is something that Matthew would never do. He is rather proud of Matthew and Mary getting married because he had been the first one to suggest it, although he wouldn't have done that if at that time he hadn't already been convinced that Matthew was the right man for Mary. He had known that after having spent less than a day with Matthew in London, because Matthew likes to argue and so does Mary. In addition to that, it had become clear very early on that Matthew was a very good man and that was all that had mattered to him when it came to his sister's choice of husband. That Matthew had turned into his best friend within the first two weeks he spent at Downton despite of the age difference between them had only added to his conviction that Matthew and Mary were perfect for each other.

When he walks around the gallery for the fifth time, lost in his thoughts he literally walks into Mary whom he didn't see because he never notices where he walks when he is thinking. Mary had clearly not seen him either because she had been reading a letter.

"Sorry Mary," he says. "I did not see you."

"Like brother like sister," she says to him and they both laugh. It is a running joke between them; it has been for more than ten years. Whenever they do something similar they say it and it happens rather often. Their mother always laughs about it and shakes her head at them but their father becomes quite sentimental at it.

"What has got you so preoccupied, little brother?"

"Your future husband. I've been thinking about the speech he is making me give and I have no idea what to say. Or rather I have no idea how to say what I want to say."

"You'll come up with something, you always do."

"Let's hope so. What's in the letter?"

"You can read it," she says and hands it to him. It is a rather short letter but he understands why it has Mary preoccupied because it is a letter from her mother who is asking to be allowed to come to the wedding, citing the fact that Mary is her only child as the reason.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"I thought you hated that woman."

"With all my heart. But she is my mother and I am her only child."

"But that is not your fault. You don't owe that woman anything."

"No, I don't. But I still wonder if I should really exclude her from the wedding."

"You haven't seen her since 1905."

"No. But she writes to me occasionally and I reply. Never immediately, only weeks later and I keep mentioning Mama in my letters but it doesn't stop my mother from writing."

"If you want her to stop, you have to tell her."

"I don't want her to stop." This takes him by surprise.

"Why not?"

"Because she is my mother. Don't get me wrong, I do not love her, but she is still part of my life. I wouldn't be here without her."

"I suppose that is true."

"Don't you ever wonder about your father? And I do mean your father, not Papa."

"No, I don't. Mama once offered to show me a few pictures and to tell me a little about him, but I didn't want to hear it and I didn't want to see the pictures. I feel nothing for that man. He might be responsible for me being in this world and it is his fault that I am the Duke of Suffolk when I'd much rather be Viscount Downton, but while I am aware of the influence he has had, in a way still has, on my life, it is something I don't think about. But maybe it is different for me because I never met the man. And I can't remember a time when Papa was not in my life. Or you for that matter."

"I think that's the difference. You don't remember but I do. And I envy you that. I wish I couldn't remember my mother, I wish Mama had always been in my life because then I wouldn't be so conflicted and I wouldn't be so afraid of being like my mother."

"You aren't. Mary, just like me, you are quite like Papa."

"That is what Mama says, but I don't know if it is true."

"I am telling you that it is true. You have some of Mama's character traits too, you tend to laugh openly and despite your sharp tongue you usually are rather accepting of others. And you are very kind to people below you. Papa is that too, of course, but there is a difference between his kindness and Mama's. And you are like Mama in that way. And you sometimes speak with a slight American accent."

"I don't."

"Yes you do. Ask Matthew if you don't believe me."

"I am afraid of hurting Mama if I let that woman come to my wedding."

"But you want her to come."

"I don't know. I think I want to see her again."

"Then talk to Mama about it. And you could meet 'that woman' before the wedding. Or after. You wanting to meet her doesn't mean that she has to be here on the day of your wedding."

"Where would I meet her? I'd feel really uncomfortable having her here. That's one of the reasons why I am so unsure about her coming for the wedding. But not the main reason."

"If you want to meet her on any other day, use my house in London. I'll come with you if you like, but I don't insist."

"It would show a lot of loyalty to Mama if I met my mother in that house."

"Yes. But please talk to Mama before you let that woman know anything."

"I will, don't worry."

Cora

She knows that something is on her daughter's mind the moment Mary enters her bedroom shortly after 10 pm. She hardly ever does this and it is rarely a good sign if she does. When Mary tells her about the letter, she understands why the girl came to her so late in the day.

"Mary, it is your decision. If you want her to come to your wedding, then so be it."

"What about you and Papa?"

"That doesn't matter. It is your wedding, she is your mother."

It does matter to her. She doesn't want that woman to come to Downton, especially not for Mary's wedding because Mary is her daughter and no one else's and because she knows that it would make Robert extremely uncomfortable to have his first wife back at Downton, even if it was only for a day. But she won't tell Mary to not invite her mother to her wedding, she doesn't have the right to.

"Mama, the thing is, I think I would like to meet her again. I don't like her, I think I hate her, but she is part of my life. I wouldn't be here without her. I wish it was different, I wish you were the only mother I ever had but that is not the way it is. Even if that woman was a horrible mother, she still was my mother. And she still is, even if I don't really think of her as that."

"Mary, that is your decision too. If you want to meet her, I won't stop you. Although if it was only about meeting her, I'd advise against doing it on the day of your wedding."

"That's what Sam says. He said I should meet her before or after. He said I could meet her at his house. I think that's what I want to do. Before the wedding. Then I can tell her in person that I don't want her there, because I really don't. I'm afraid she'd want to be acknowledged as 'mother of the bride' and I can't have her trying to take your place."

"Thank you for saying that."

"Mama, would you come with me? When I meet her?"

"If that is what you want, yes."

"Thank you."

She sees how the worry leaves Mary's face and it makes her worry less too. Mary is the child she has always been worried about the most, because she is the one who's life has been the most complicated. She agrees with her in wishing that Mary couldn't remember anything from the first three and a half years of her life, but she does remember. Not many specific things, but she has vague memories of what her life was like and she definitely remembers her mother. When Mary in a rush of teenage rebellion had met her mother eight years ago, the girl had been hurt worse than ever before.

"Mary, you know you might be hurt again."

"Yes, I know. That is why I want you to come. Because she can't really hurt me if you are there. And it is different this time. I have no hopes, I know what she is like. And I know where my loyalties lie."

"You are making quite a statement about that if you meet her at Sam's house."

"I know. It will tell her what to expect. I don't know what she wants, but she's been writing to me more often than before for the past year. I didn't even reply to all her letters, quite frankly because I didn't know what to write about to her. Nothing that happens in my life is any of her business."

"Maybe you should tell her that."

"I'll think about. I think Papa is about to come in here, Bates just left, I heard the door. I'll leave you now. Good night."

"Good night."