Chapter 14

Dr. Simons escorted Neal up to the 5th floor where Sara had been admitted to a private room. As anxious as Neal was to see his wife, he couldn't ignore the sense of dread he felt as he thought ahead to the next few days, weeks, months. What should normally be a happy ending to a horrible ordeal was only the beginning and Sara would need help to get through the next little while. The physical wounds might disappear over time but the emotional scars would likely linger for many months to come.

From the moment Neal Caffrey had first laid eyes on her, Sara Ellis had shown him what an incredibly determined and feisty woman she was – capable of dealing with almost anything life threw her way. Their non-traditional relationship had served both Neal and Sara well over time; she, the no-nonsense straight shooter and he, the soft-hearted, impulsive one. It had become evident early on in their relationship that they were both strong, independent individuals who didn't need anyone to make them feel complete – and yet, they complemented each other in ways they could never have imagined. Over time, Neal had managed to break through Sara's coriaceous shell, bringing out the softer side of his wife and Sara had relentlessly called Neal on his crap, keeping him honest in more ways than one.

The words 'Sara' and 'vulnerable' were an unlikely combination and yet, it was the first word that sprang to mind when Neal stepped into her hospital room and caught a glimpse of her on the stark white sheets with a breathing tube down her throat. Sara's demeanor was always gutsy and fearless and over the years, he'd seen her take down men he would have cowered from as she went about her job as an insurance investigator. But this last one had been a one sided battle, Sara deprived of her usual dry wit and quick thinking, physically restrained as two cowards abused her in ways Neal could only imagine.

He walked over to the bed, the soft beeping of the monitors around them, and he pulled up the one and only chair in the small room, letting his weary body settle by her side. He rested his face near hers, the warmth radiating off her body a welcome sign of life as he kissed her cheek gently.

'Sara, I'm here' he said simply as her eyes fluttered open.

She sputtered, trying to fight the odd sensation in her throat; after being gagged for who knew how long, it seemed cruel and unusual punishment to have her breathing impaired by a breathing tube and Neal watched her eyes widen in horror.

'It's okay, honey, it's okay. Don't fight it' Neal whispered as he tried to keep her from freaking out. 'It's a breathing tube… it's helping you breathe.'

Sara made some horrible, guttural sound as her eyes grew even wider and Neal stared in dismay at the look of sheer terror on her face.

'Sara, come on… you can do this. Listen to me… try to breathe along with the machine. Look at me' he said as he tried to get her to concentrate on his face, slowing down his breathing to match the repetitive in and out sounds made by the respirator.

She seemed to calm down at the sound of his voice and before Neal knew what happened, her eyes fluttered shut once again as he stood there, shaking uncontrollably.

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'Why can't we see her?' Caitlin asked as the group settled into the small waiting room on the 5th floor.

'You will, honey' Elizabeth said. 'Just not… right away.'

Peter had filled everyone in on Sara's condition; she was still sedated but was slowly coming out of it and Neal had asked for some time alone with her before letting everyone in to see her. It was past 2:00 in the morning and yet, sleep was the furthest thing from everyone's mind.

'You're sure she's out of danger?' Hope asked, as she sat with Cam's hand clasped firmly in hers.

'I promise' Peter said as he turned to glance at Liam. As usual, the young man was quiet, dealing with things in his own understated way.

'You okay?' he asked as he exchanged worried looks with Mozzie.

'I'm fine' Liam answered in his usual, no nonsense way. 'I just want to see her...'

He had just finished speaking when Neal appeared in the doorway, looking worse for wear. The three kids were instantly on their feet, surrounding him, Hope's arms around his waist as she nestled her head against his chest.

'She's doing better' Neal murmured, his voice quiet. 'She needs some rest and I think you should all go home and come back in the morning.'

A chorus of 'nos' was heard as everyone, including Elizabeth, reacted to Neal's suggestion.

'Look, she's sedated and she has a breathing tube… she won't even know you're there' Neal explained.

'That doesn't matter, Dad. We just want to see her' Hope said, insistent.

Neal let out a slow breath; he didn't want the kids upset at the sight of their mom with a breathing tube and multiple lacerations on her face and yet, he knew they wouldn't give up until he agreed to let them see her. He pulled them all over to the sitting area, taking a spot between Liam and Hope and he took a deep breath before preparing them for what they were about to see.

'Her face… her face has bruises and welts…' he began as Liam's mouth dropped open. 'And she has a breathing tube which looks a lot worse than it is.'

Hope stared at her dad; she could tell he wasn't telling them everything. 'You can go in and say goodnight and then… I want you all to go home. Deal?'

He watched as all three of them gave a reluctant nod and he stood to lead the way down the hall as the small parade followed.

Elizabeth reached out for Peter, settling into his arms as Mozzie looked on.

'She's going to be fine' Peter said, trying to convince them all.

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Once the kids had said goodnight, Neal settled back in to sit by Sara's side. Her oxygen was improving and after mentioning the fact that Sara had been gagged and restrained, Dr. Simons agreed to remove the breathing tube and see if she could manage breathing on her own. Having her upset unnecessarily wasn't going to help her deal with the aftermath of her ordeal; the faster she came out of her sedative stupor the better.

Neal had momentarily nodded off with his head by Sara's hand when he felt her familiar hand on his head, gently tugging at his hair.

He sat up in an instant, his eyes drawn to Sara's mangled face, her beautiful green eyes wide open.

'You're awake!' he said as he stood and settled on the edge of the bed.

'You came for me' she said, her voice raspy.

Neal felt a lump in his throat; he felt responsible for her being taken in the first place. If only he'd insisted she go stay at the Burkes, she wouldn't have had to go through this horrible nightmare.

'Of course I came for you…' he answered, his voice breaking. 'I'm so sorry.'

Sara's eyes narrowed at his last statement and she reached out to touch her husband's face.

'Not…your fault' she managed to say before her eyes closed momentarily.

He managed a small smile, his hands reaching out to touch her hair. 'Everything's going to be alright' he added. 'I promise.'

She nodded weakly, seeing the worry in Neal's eyes. 'That's my line' she said, her voice a whisper.

It was Neal's turn to smile and he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. The look in her eyes grew distant and Neal wondered if she might be reliving the harrowing hours she spent as captive of the two animals.

'What happened?' she asked.

'They were arrested, trying to leave the country' Neal answered, his eyes not leaving hers.

She frowned. 'How did you find me.'

'I got a text telling me where they were keeping you. I guess they thought they were home free.'

Sara got a faraway look in her eyes once more and Neal felt the need to dig a little deeper – as much as he didn't want to know.

'What did they do you?' he whispered, terrified of the answer.

Her eyes moved to meet his, tears appearing suddenly and in that moment, Neal knew that it was all too real, that his worst fears were coming true.

She remained silent as jumbled thoughts competed for attention in her muddled mind.

'Did they… did they rape you?' Neal asked finally as he ran a loving hand through her hair.

Sara looked away and let her eyes close, trying to steady her breathing. When she opened them, Neal saw the vulnerability there and he had to remind himself to keep breathing.

'I… I'm not sure' she answered as the memories began to slowly return.

'Did they… touch you?' Neal hesitated; if he said the horrible words, it would make it all true.

Sara nodded, remembering the clammy hands on her body as she'd tried valiantly to fight off her attacker. Despite his efforts to keep it together, Neal's head dropped next to hers as he continued running his hand through her hair.

'This is all my fault' he repeated as Sara began to cry softly.

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By 9:30 the next morning, Sara had agreed to let them run some tests despite the additional indignity involved. The memories were returning sporadically; she could see one of the captors hovering over her, hand on his belt buckle and she could still feel his clammy hands roaming under her shirt. The police had been summoned and she sat up in bed with Neal holding her hand while she was interviewed, each question triggering a memory more painful than the last.

Neal was taken aside and questioned as well. He was asked to supply a sperm sample and questioned as to the last time he and his wife had had intercourse. The whole experience was dehumanizing and yet, Sara seemed determined to get to the bottom of things; although she had no recollection of intercourse per se, she had memories of being touched repeatedly as she tried to fight her assailant between bouts of unconsciousness during which she had no idea what had happened.

The kids and the Burkes came by to visit at noon and Neal and Sara put on a brave face, unwilling to share their latest concern with their offspring. Sara had all but recovered from the drugs she'd ingested and her physical injuries, including a badly infected wound on her wrist had been seen to – although the emotional scars would take much longer to heal.

She sat up and smiled at her visitors, reassuring everyone that she was fine and would be home in a couple of days and Neal played along, smiling broadly at having his wife back safe and sound. Peter stayed behind to keep Neal company and El took the brood out to lunch while Sara was whisked away for more tests.

The two men sat in the hospital cafeteria, over a cup of coffee and Peter could tell by the look in his best friend's eyes that all was not well.

'Sara's looking much better today' Peter said, trying to sound encouraging.

Neal gave a self-conscious smile, one that Peter immediately recognized. 'What is it you're not telling me?' he asked as Neal continued to avoid his partner's eyes.

'Am I that transparent?' he asked, trying to shift the conversation.

'Yes. And stop stalling' Peter answered.

'The police were here this morning' Neal began as Peter's eyes widened. 'They're running some tests… to prove that Sara was sexually assaulted. That way, if she ever wants to press charges...'

'Oh, Neal. I'm so sorry…' Peter said, searching his partner's eyes.

Neal swallowed and returned his absent gaze to his cup of coffee. 'I guess she needs to know.'

'What about you? Are you alright?'

Neal scoffed loudly, followed by a most sardonic laugh.

'No' he answered simply, eyes filling with unshed tears.

Peter sat in silence; what could he possibly say in response to such brutally honesty statement?

'Just the thought of… someone disrespecting any woman like that…let alone Sara' Neal began, his voice fading. 'She's remembering some stuff but the drugs...well, she still doesn't remember everything - not yet anyway.'

Peter just waited for Neal to continue, watching as an unexpected look of pure hate flashed in his eyes.

'I want to kill the son of a bitch' Neal uttered, uncharacteristically angry.

'Of course you do' Peter said.

Neal seemed to let go of the thought momentarily as he glanced at his watch. 'I need to get back, Sara will be back in her room by now.'

'Sure. Look, don't worry about the kids. We've got everything covered' Peter said as he touched Neal's arm.

They parted ways and Neal dragged himself back up to the 5th floor, exhausted from the past 36 hours and anxious to see how Sara was doing.

The moment he stepped into the room, he could hear soft whimpering as Sara sat up looking flustered and more than a little upset. The sound of her voice when she spoke, so frantic and panicked, sent shivers down his spine.

'Where were you? I got back here and you were gone.'

TBC