Chapter Fourteen: There's Danger in Heroes
And there it stood. For a few terrifying seconds, the world shrank down to nothing but a tunnel—the thing waiting for her at its opening, at the only direction she could move. Her heart hammered a desperate, whispering beat.
Then it laughed, deep and rumbling, making the edges of the tunnel waver. It gave her the unfaltering sensation of standing on ground that was at the crest of an earthquake. She prickled with unshakable foreboding—this thing would kill her. She was powerless to stop it. She knew it then and her heart stuttered.
"—ey." Ash heard. The voice was steady—a rock that she could latch onto in the storm around her. She looked over her right shoulder as his hand closed over it in the same warm gesture he seemed to save only for her. The sudden warmth made her shiver. Unconsciously, she leaned further into it, the pressure grounding her. His face was grim, eyebrows and mouth folded downward, but he was still somehow unwavering, solid. Ash stopped shaking.
"Stay behind me," he rumbled, his voice low and as serious as she had ever heard it. Her throat didn't want to form sounds; her neck mechanically nodded her head. It was then that she felt a thrum of energy shroud the air around her. As it did, her goose bumps eased down into her skin, accompanied with the slightest flitter of calm. It was enough.
She looked at Solas, his arms outstretched to finish the barrier he had expertly crafted around them. He faced her then, with a wan smile that seemed odd when paired next to the grim lines of determination set in the rest of his face. She couldn't find it in her to return the smile. He likely didn't expect her to. Instead, she nodded her stiff muscles again, almost wincing with the action. Time was moving at a snail's pace—as if she and everything around her was swimming through dark, murky water. Like they were all slowly drowning. She could no longer tell if this sensation was the reality she was in, or merely another trick of the Nightmare. She wasn't sure if she really wanted to know.
She saw the spiders around them, attempting to surround, but the fact did nothing to stir her. She merely saw it with cold, unfeeling clarity. There was no fight. She struggled to find it, to find her will where it was buried somewhere she couldn't reach.
A bolt pierced the spider heading for her back. She turned at the soft sound, her hand shot up and burned as lighting went forth to strike the creature. She felt something else breaking, something else that she couldn't name. Varric was shouting at her.
"Ghost! You need to MOVE!" He was firing bolt after bolt in a controlled frenzy. His eyes were wide in a focused sort of fear—all frustration evident in his voice. When had the fight begun?
Ash moved. The Nightmare never stood in one place for too long. It was useless for her to try and track it; instead, she focused on the spider-creatures. They were somehow easier for her to handle—the Nightmare was what she couldn't bear to face.
Spin.
Lightning. Another turn.
Another arrow.
The sound of ice cracking—unearthly hiss of air.
Sythari shouting.
The hair on Ash's arms stood on end and she stopped moving as the world once more began to slow. She stared at the fire erupting in a path from Sythari to the Nightmare. Solas sent a wave of force towards the demon, an attempt to hold it so that it couldn't flee the flames. Transfixed, Ash watched still as the last of the demon burned away, its wails and hisses echoing around her, the only remnant of its struggle. As it began to fade, the spiders stopped coming. The world suddenly went quiet for the smallest of moments.
Ash slumped against a rock in not-quite relief. Her moment was broken when a deep, guttural rumbling started. She didn't have time to think.
"Move!" Sythari shouted, already breaking into a run. Hawke's hand curved around Ash's upper arm, pulling her into a run behind him. Stroud trailed not far behind. The ground beneath her feet starting shaking. Ash pumped her legs harder—harsh adrenaline lighting the fire within her to keep going. Varric, Solas, and Bull had reached the opening to out of the Fade. They stood waving them on frantically.
Shit. Shitshitshit. That…that thing is coming soon. Ash felt the ground shake again. She had to get both Stroud and Hawke out of there. Everything was happening too fast, she couldn't keep up. Shit!
Another quake—this one enough to send her sprawling backwards. She crashed into the cold metal of Stroud's armor. He reached out to steady her. It was too late, she realized with terrifying clarity as the creature reared up with a shriek. She gaped at it in open terror. The Nightmare was nothing in comparison…and that smell. Ash felt bile rising in her throat; she stifled a gag.
"Inquisitor!" Solas's voice, desperate and afraid, came from somewhere behind the thing. Ash doubted they could see each other—she couldn't see Bull.
"Go," Hawke said, piercing Sythari with a look. "I'll distract it long enough for the rest of you to get around it."
Stroud shook his head violently. "No, this is the Wardens' mess. A Warden should—"
"Should rebuild the Order," Hawke interrupted. "They need you."
"No," Ash whispered. There was a silence before anyone spoke.
"Ash?" Sythari asked.
Ash shook her head. "Neither one of you should—" She broke off, seized with sudden emotion. She liked Stroud, and Hawke, she had wanted to stop this; she still did. If she couldn't change things…What else was she good for? The creature screamed again. It was closer.
"We don't have time for debate," Sythari said. "Do you have a plan, Ash?"
Ash stared at her. She couldn't—she couldn't fight that. She looked at Sythari, taking in her appearance. The elven woman was slumped, shoulders sagging, leaning on her staff; a cut above her eyebrow was trailing drying blood. Hawke wasn't in better shape, he hid it well, but Ash could see the obvious fatigue in how he carried himself, noticed a slight limp on his left leg. She looked at her belt—no health potions. It hit her. If they tried to fight that thing, they would all die. But if just one stayed, the rest had a chance—Ash felt tears burning her eyes.
Sythari looked at her a few more moments, then turned to Stroud. "Stroud…" she said, hesitant.
"It is alright, Inquisitor," he said and smiled. Ash felt wetness on her cheeks. "I am old enough to have lived a good life. Besides, I am a Warden. This is only my duty." He exchanged a brief glance with Hawke, understanding flashing between them, then reached to cup Ash's shoulder comfortingly. He didn't say anything, but the gesture was enough to rip a sob from the depth of her lungs.
She felt cold when his hand was gone.
"For the wardens!" he shouted, running with sword and shield raised. She was ripped away by Hawke and Sythari storming her forward into a run. Her legs barely wanted to obey her, but she pressed forward until Bull was grabbing her, pushing her out and back to Adamant fortress.
She was back. She stared at the ground, not wanting to face those shocked voices all around them. Bull was her support; one arm around her shoulders, allowing her something to lean against so she could stay on her feet. She looked up to see Sythari's hand glow as she ripped the remaining demons back into the Fade, anger shining clear on her face. The soldiers cheered.
"Well, it was true," Hawke said. "Without the Nightmare to control them, the mages are free." He glanced to Ash then, as usual, she found that his face was unreadable. "And as far as they're concerned, the Inquisitor broke the spell with the blessing of the Maker."
Sythari shrugged. "Let them," she said. "It's no business of mine what story they wish to tell. What matters is we succeeded."
"Inquisitor!" Ash watched as the scout ran up. "The Archdemon flew off as soon as you disappeared. As for the remaining wardens…" He trailed off as one lone warden trailed to stand beside him, head bowed. "They helped us fight off the demons."
"The Wardens stand ready to make up for Clarel's…tragic mistake," the warden said then looked at each of them, making brief eye contact with Ash. She turned away. "Where's Stroud?" The question pierced her gut like a knife. Ash winced and bit her lip.
Sythari's eyes went cold. The chatter around them seemed to die suddenly in response to how the Inquisitor's stance changed. "He died because of you," she nearly spat. Ash's eyes went wide. Sythari had never been so angry, she wouldn't…Ash gasped and stood away from Bull. Her eyes watching Sythari's every move, frozen to the spot. "For your foolishness. Are you satisfied? Look at the damage your Order has caused. And for what? False promises from a creature that thrives on destruction. The very same creature your Order knew about." The Warden's head lowered once again. When he spoke again, his voiced was hushed.
"Inquisitor," he said. "There is no one among us with any significant rank. What shall we do?" Ash whirled her head to face Sythari, her posture pleading, but Sythari couldn't see her.
"You leave," Sythari said, clipped. Ash's heart fell to somewhere around her feet. "It's too risky; you are all still too vulnerable to corruption, especially from Corypheus. I cannot afford to leave you unchecked. From here on, consider yourselves banished from Southern Thedas. Hawke will oversee your return to Weisshaupt."
Hawke hung his head briefly, frowning. "Yes, your worship," the warden replied and turned to leave, likely to gather the Wardens. Ash was stunned. She didn't pay attention to the rest of the conversation with the Inquisitor. She hadn't accomplished anything. She hadn't changed anything. Now, the wardens would be gone too…
"No!" she shouted out, aiming her voice at the Inquisitor. She brushed off Bull's arm as it went to pull her to him. "Sythari, you can't!" She was desperate, barely noticing how Varric and Solas turned to look at her in shock. Sythari, stepping down from the platform she had been standing on, paused to look up at Ash. Even Hawke turned back. They were all watching her. "Please," Ash said. "This is a mistake."
Solas scoffed. "The mistake was letting them operate unchecked in the first place."
Ash ignored him. "You need the wardens," she said. "They're the only ones that can defend Thedas from a Blight."
Sythari shook her head. "I can't have them here," she said. "It's much more risky. There is no Blight on the horizon, only Corypheus. And he is the one that can corrupt the Wardens."
"Then work with them," Ash pleaded. "Give them another chance. I know that this is a mistake, but what if—"
"No," Sythari answered. "Ash, I'm sorry, but I can't risk losing more people. I can't risk losing more wardens to Corypheus either. The Inquisition does not have the resources to babysit them."
"But, I know things that you don't," Ash persisted. "I know—"
"And the things you know didn't help much today, did they?" Sythari said. Ash gaped, tears instantly threatening the corners of her eyes. She couldn't respond. Her hands fell to her sides and all the fight she had left flooded out of her.
"Boss," Iron Bull said low, scolding. He succeeded then in pulling Ash to him. She leaned against him, fingers clutching at his belt as she fought the creeping empty feeling. It was all her fault.
She heard Sythari sigh. "I'm sorry, that was unfair," she said. "Let's just all get back to Skyhold. It's been a long day for all of us." Ash looked up to watch as she walked away.
"Hey," Varric said. She looked down at him. "Don't beat yourself up, okay? This…" He shook his head. He didn't say anything else, just smiled at her before walking away. Bull squeezed her shoulder.
"Come on," he said and started herding her away. "You need to get some rest." She nodded mutely, she didn't want to look and see the concern she could hear. If she did, she would start crying. She didn't want that; she just wanted some sleep. As if reading her mind, Bull squeezed her shoulders again. "Hey, stop that," he said. "We'll talk about all this later. Right now, just focus on breathing and walking. Look at your feet if you need to."
Ash nodded, took a deep breath. For the rest of the walk, she didn't once look up from her feet hitting the ground. It certainly made things simpler.
Author Note: Wow! A month with no update. I'm incredibly terribly sorry. Life's been cray for the past few weeks; been busy moving into a new apartment and closing out the old one, plus work...But! I'm back and updates will resume as usual now that stuff's started to settle.
Also, this chapter is a bit depressing, but I needed to do this for Ash's character growth. I feel like the meat of the story is starting to get worked towards and this is a pivotal point for her. Also, didn't want to be too easy on her. I'm thinking realistically.
As always, thanks for reading!
Love and hugs!