A/n: Hehehehehehehehehehehe Wooooohoooooo! Had a blast writing this update just the little break I needed from all the drama….hope you have a gigglefest on this one I did writing it.
Sabrina 1204- Thanks for the support and encouragement you rock and you're right about not having to have everyone in every single update, I'm gonna keep that in mind. As to your guesses for who pukes, passes out and pulls a gun, you just might be surprised hehehehehe and I promise you at least one River vs. Jack prank in this update.
Celticicegoddess- it is you that are good to me by reviewing! Hope your day is beautiful as well!
To everyone else- thanks for keeping up if you're diggin' on this pairing I got a few other ideas floatin' around in the old brainpan for the 'verse's most deadly duo, maybe even a few one shots when I need a break from this story, if I get them up and you want more than a one shot on something let me know and I'll be happy to oblige, long as ya'll are reading I'll be writing.
Without any further chit chat and rambling….. wish I did, but I don't, just borrowing, not making a gorram cred.
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A dark chuckle played over the comm., echoing into every crew member's bunk. Jack was the only one who woke at first, groaning into her pillow, the other's thinking the voice was just part of some kinda of awful dream rolled over and continued to snore. Jack knew better though and promptly began pulling on her boots, every muscle in her body still ached but she thought maybe she could score a few be nice to Jack points 'iffin she at least showed up promptly. She was half way to the hold when the sound of a screaming air horn blared over the comms.
"Fucking hell!" She grabbed her ears, "Heard ya the first time fucker!" She shouted to no one in particular.
Mal had been caught somewhere between the world of the living and the dead and at the sound of the horn he lurched forward letting out a strangled cry as he caught himself up in his sheets and tumbled onto the cold grating. "Ta de ma! (fuck)" He swore jumping back up from the cold floor and banging his elbow he swore again, muttering a string of Mandarin as he shoved on a pair of pants, a dark chuckle echoing through his bunk.
Zoe and Jayne had identical reactions, both leapt up at the sound of the horn, guns drawn and ready to fire at the Gao yang zhong de gu yang (Motherless goat of all motherless goats). Another dark chuckle drifted from over the comms, and the unison in which they sworn would have startled both of them.
Kaylee and Simon leapt up in a tangle of confusion Kaylee's head making contact with Simon's nose, followed by a sickening crunch and the immediate flow of blood. "Ai ya, huai le! (shit on my head)" Simon cursed.
"Oh Bao bei, I'm so sorry!" Kaylee's hands hovered helplessly over Simon's face.
"It's okay, really it's fine." Simon said reaching blindly for something to stop the flow of blood and finding only his shirt made do with that. "What in the hell is going on?" And as if to answer him a dark chuckle drifted in over the comm.
"Oh gorram it to hell!" Kaylee whined.
River had woken the moment before the horn, some deep instinct warning her to prepare, more than likely from her long history of delicious pranks than any specialized Academy training. At the sound of the horn she was already dressed and had kicked open the air vent in her bunk. Moving silently through the ducts and passing the bunks of her family stifling giggles as she listened to their reactions, she made her way into the cockpit where she knew the source of all the morning's misery lay.
Riddick felt River's presence moving towards him and he expected a very angry Reader to come storming through the hatch at any moment, so he leaned against the console putting his best Riddick smirk in place and braced himself. He was more than a little taken aback when his ninety pound ballerina dropped from the ceiling vent tackling him. A pink glittering shiv was at his throat before he had a chance to realize what had happened, "You know Bao bei, I think you might be right about the whole killin' a man with a glittering shiv, makes him contemplate exactly what he's done to deserve that kinda humiliation."
River giggled, "The beast is mean and cruel. The girl does not require further training she will go back to sleep and dance at the ball as she was moments ago." She kissed his forehead and the shiv vanished from his throat, giggling she jumped back up and headed out of the cockpit using the hatch this time instead of the air vents.
"Where you think you're goin' baby?" Riddick smirked, he had flipped himself back up on his feet and was a step behind her, grabbing her up by her waist, he heaved her up and over his shoulder.
"The girl has already said!" She kicked at his stomach, if he felt it, he did a good job of hiding it.
The dark chuckle returned, "You heard you're Captain Daddy baby girl, ain't no one gets out of it."
"The beast will regret his decision." River scowled watching her hair graze along the floor.
"Ain't no cause to go paintin' my shivs every time I make you work out girl, it's for your own good."
"The girl is not speaking to the beast." She grumbled.
"Don't need you to speak girl need ya to train," He smirked depositing her rather ungracefully on the floor of the hold.
Jack already in the hold snickered, "Little miss precious doesn't wanna work out?" She teased.
"Jack." Riddick warned. Dinner last night had not been pleasant, their two girls glaring each other down from their respective places, one on either side of him. It had started to look like a real possibility they might stab each other over the last roll, to avoid the potential bloodshed Riddick had reached between them and eaten himself, and both feng le women had kicked him under the table for that, he was still sporting nearly identical bruises on either shin.
River rose from the ground as gracefully as any prima ballerina, Riddick was beginning to get the feeling at some point these two would be going shiv happy on each other. "The girl does not need a shiv, she knows twenty seven ways to kill with a spoon, forty eight if said spoon is a spork."
Jack arched an eyebrow at Riddick as if to say, are you kidding me?, but otherwise refrained from comment.
The rest of the crew had begun to meander down into the hold each looking all kinds of miserable, tired and thoroughly pissed off.
"Next time Riddick a swift kick to my bunk door will do the trick, damn near blew a hole in the ship." Jayne grumbled stomping past.
Riddick barked out a laugh. "Line up!"
Begrudgingly the crew obeyed. Mal was at the head of the line seriously reconsidering his split second decision to have Riddick get the crew into shape, his hair was still mussed and if you looked careful there was a tiny pool of crusted drool in the corner of his mouth. Zoe was next, she looked more alert than anyone including Jack and River, he suspected it had more to do with the awakening then any real desire to train. Jayne looked as though he would fall back asleep standing up, while River and Jack standing next to each other was making him tetchy, real tetchy. Simon and Kaylee were last in the line, Simon sporting two pieces of tissue up his nostrils and Kaylee glaring him down.
"Ain't even gonna ask Doc." Riddick chuckled causing Kaylee to glare harder.
"Riddick I don't really think Jack's in any shape…"
He cut Simon off, "Didn't ask your opinion Doc, Jack you wanna tell the Doc about my trainin' rules?"
Jack beamed up at him, "One speed, his. Keep up, put up, shut the fuck up."
"That's right Jackie-girl."
More than a few of them rolled their eyes, River included.
"Don't you roll your eyes at me baby girl," Riddick thought at her.
"Girl is not talking or thinking at the beast." She pushed back.
Riddick smirked, "River's gonna lead warm ups."
She scowled at him but spun graceful out to his side and began to move the crew through several dancer's warm ups.
"Ruttin gorram impossible!" Jayne swore after falling over, "Ain't a body suppose to bend like that and the girl ruttin knows it."
River giggled kicking her leg out parallel to her neck and head, more than a few eyes bulged, and Zoe resolutely said, "Ain't doin' it, ain't even gonna try."
"Stop showing off girl," Riddick growled, "and 'iffin' you're all tired of stretching, fine, we got laps anyway five miles, Jack you got two on account I think the Doc will have an aneurysm if I make you run five."
"Five miles!" Kaylee whined.
Mal was seriously beginning to reconsider his plan. Zoe shrugged five miles was nothing big, she used to do about that before the war every day, granted it'd been awhile she thought she could handle it. Jayne on the other hand knew he could handle it having been forced to do his share of running before Serenity though he'd never done five miles all at once couldn't be much difference between a mile and five.
"Let's move people or I'll make it six." He growled leading the endless laps around the hold.
It was somewhere around a half mile that Mal realized the man was a sadist and putting a sadist in charge of a training session had been quite possibly the worst idea of his existence, and never in his life did he want to strangle anyone more than he did the moment River danced/ran past him, lapping him for the about the twentieth time as she chimed out, "Mile two and Captain Daddy has yet to complete one."
"Gorram ruttin little girls with their gorram ruttin Alliance training." He muttered as Zoe lapped him as well.
Jack had finished her required two and was sitting atop a crate alternatively jeering and laughing at the rest of the crew.
Jayne was breathing heavy by mile three, taking the opportunity to swear in between heaving breaths.
Mal took comfort as he went into mile three at least Kaylee and Simon hadn't lapped him that would have been a gorram embarrassment if there ever was one, he pushed himself on, determined that little Kaylee was not going to finish before him.
"Let's hustle people this is fucking pathetic, thought we were big bad brown coats on this boat!" Riddick roared, and more than one crew member, including River felt the sudden urge to shoot the man, that had finished five miles in the time it had taken most of them to do three.
"Can't… keep….run…ing.. Si…Simon." Kaylee panted, clutching her side wondering why the gorram hell the mechanic had to be able to run five miles when the engine room was less than thirty feet long.
"How…man…many…miles….we….got…left?" Simon huffed back.
"Still got two and a half Doc, keep moving." Riddick barked and Simon comforted himself with the fact he had at least ten different drugs in his infirmary which could knock the man out for upwards of twelve hours, there was no way in ruttin' hell he was doing this again tomorrow.
River giggled as she past her Ge-ge heartily approving of his plan, she cart wheeled her last twenty feet. "The girl is done." She smiled, slightly winded but unwillingly to show it.
"About damn time." Jack snorted, but wiped the look from her face quickly at the twin glares.
"Watch it girl," Riddick growled, "better yet get your scrawny ass up, you can run another two."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jack yelled.
"Know what Jack? Make it three, get your ass up!" He barked and River smirked enjoying the brat-named-Jack's misery, regretting ever wanting to meet her. Last night the-brat-named Jack's attempt to establish Riddick's preference for her was the final straw.
Zoe made the five mile mark doubling over and gasping for breath, muttering a string of Mandarin and English that made Riddick chuckle. "Don't know why you ladies are standing around, each owe me some pushups, start kissin' the grate."
Zoe shot Riddick the look, and River growled but they marched off into the center of the hold and dropped, trading insults against Riddick's manhood with each completed pushup. He pretended not to hear.
Jayne stumbled across the mark next, "You gorram ruttin' Qing wa kao de liu mang (Frog humping son of a bitch)!"
"Flattery will get you now where Jayne, join the girls in kissin' the grate." He laughed, enjoying himself much more than was necessary.
Mal stumbled across the mark, gasping for air and clutching a spare crate, "Ain't ruttin' right, I'm the captain of this boat, I do captainy things, pay you people to do the runnin' gorram it!"
"Said it yourself Mal, ain't one of you getting' out of it." Riddick smirked, "You're behind, the girls already finished their sets, you can join your merc over there. Zoe! River-girl! Know you ain't layin' on your pig gus (asses) when you owe me pull ups, River girl you're first, Zoe you can start on crunches."
The pair of women shot him matching death glares. "Sir, permission to space to hun dan (bastard)." Zoe growled out.
"Not yet Zoe," Mal huffed as he pushed himself up on shaking arms, "but give me a few more of these gorram pushups and I might be obliged to come 'round to your way of thinkin'."
Jayne continued to swear as he pumped out his set, imagining all sorts of ways he could kill the psychopathic hun dan (bastard), frankly he was on board with spacin' the fucker.
Jack finished her extra three miles, before Kaylee and Simon had hit mile four, the couple were part running and part draggin' each other along.
"Jack you owe me half the pushups," Riddick barked and Jack complied immediately without complaint while she had been running she had been going through a list of her best pranks for her Big Bad's precious bao bei, and staying on Riddick's good side was a pivotal step. "Doc and little sunshine, you're Reaver food right now, ain't one of you limping so you shouldn't be holding each other up, you got ten to give me the last mile or I'm adding another!" Somehow despite her erratic breathing Kaylee managed to yell a string of obscenities at him, while Simon no longer cared so long as he would be given time to die after he finished his miles.
"Zoe, River, switch off!" Riddick barked, "Jayne you're done." Gratefully Jayne who had thought himself to be in decent shape collapsed against the cold grating relishing it. "Ain't nap time boy get your ass up, owe me crunches now while Zoe finishes up on the bar."
"Fuckin' asshole," he muttered too tired to curse in Mandarin.
"Flattery Jayne, I told you gets you nowhere, you can add an extra set to your crunches."
Jayne grunted, seriously calculating his odds of successfully spacin' the fucker.
Kaylee and Simon hit the mark, somehow finding the strength to finish in Riddick's threat of an extra mile. Simon keeled over puking into an empty crate, while Kaylee allowed her legs to finally give out and collapsed against Simon, not caring a thing for the repulsive noises he was making.
"Doc, suck it the fuck up!" Riddick barked, "both you owe me pushups, and don't think little sunshine those eyes will work on me." Kaylee pouted and after Simon was finished puking they crawled their way to the center of the hold, neither entirely sure what a proper pushup entailed.
River and Jayne switched off on the pull up bar and River let herself fall against Zoe who was quietly moaning on the stairwell.
"Well look here, two girls finished before the big bad merc and Serenity's captain."
"Yeah, well," Jayne huffed out as he tried pumping out his pull ups as fast as possible so he could join the two women who were quietly dying on the stairwell, "Can't really, compare us two to them, ain't fair, Zoe don't really qualify as a women seein' how she can drop most men faster than I can, and little crazy over there well she's a ruttin' crazy person."
"Fuck you Jayne." Zoe swore at him also too tired to dreg up any inventive Mandarin for the occasion.
Riddick growled, "What I tell you 'bout that word boy?"
"Oh ruttin hell sit on it." He huffed dropping from the bars.
"That so Jayne? Take another fuckin' mile." He barked back.
Jack froze mid crunch, knowing full well that tone of Riddick's promised violence. Mal used the diversion to his advantage, feigning the last of his crunches and rolling over groaning, he didn't care who ruttin' killed who at this point so long as nobody was payin' any mind to him.
"Fuck you, ain't runnin' another gorram step!" Jayne yelled back drawing his gun and leveling it with Riddick's head. "Dong ma? (understand)"
The pair of them now had the crew's complete and undivided attention, parts of them worrying over the outcome and other parts hoping he would just shoot so they could all go back to bed.
River giggled, the noise causing Jayne's attention to drift for just a second, but a second was all Riddick needed. With the same blinding speed he had used the first day he had met Jayne, his hand shot out grabbing Jayne's arm and twisting hard, spinning around he brought the merc to his knees, gun clattering uselessly to the floor. "Everybody up!" Riddick roared. "You think this is some kind of ruttin' game?"
Figuring the question was rhetorical, though Jayne didn't know the word for it, they remained silent.
"Pair off, Zoe you and River, Mal and the Doc, Kaylee and Jack, Jayne, your ass is mine." A wicked glint hinted as his eyes, unnoticed by anyone due to his goggles, everyone that is except River, who felt his shift.
"The man-named-Jayne should use caution when rattling a bigger dog's cage," she told him using his own thoughts against him, "sometimes the cage is not secure and the big dog comes free."
Riddick smirked, "Should listen to River-girl Jayne, might learn something." He released the mercs arm. He waited albeit impatiently as the crew partnered off, Jayne was pulling himself up to his feet muttering unintelligibly as he rubbed at his shoulder.
"Jack!" Riddick barked, and the girl's head snapped up, "Shiv."
"Ain't got one," Jack lied.
Riddick growled and Jack stomped over to him, handing over the shiv in her boot, she tried to skirt away. "Jack, ain't stupid, I'm the one that taught you how to hide 'em."
"Gorram it," she muttered under her breath and handed over another from her waist band and one more from her bra strap behind her back.
"Jack." Riddick warned.
Jack swung back around and spit the blade out from the roof of her mouth, that one Riddick hadn't taught her, growing up on the streets had. "Happy?"
Riddick grunted and jerked his head, which Jack interpreted as yes now get your ass back into place. Kaylee watched her wide eyed and slightly nervous, before she thought having to spar with a little fourteen year old girl would be easy, but it wasn't natural for a girl to be spittin' knives.
"Do not worry sunshine, the girl will not allow the brat-named-Jack to harm you, this is just a rehearsal." Kaylee was slightly comforted by these words but skeptical still, River would have her hands full with Zoe.
Jack swung around and glared, "Wang ba dan de biao zi (whore of a son of a bitch)! Anytime, anywhere, I'll mop the hold with your core bred pansy ass."
The crew froze. River who had been twirling froze. Riddick who had been about to bitch Jack out couldn't seem to make his jaw work. Their two girls stared each other down.
"Mei-mei…" Simon whispered.
"The girl wishes to trade sparring partners with the sunshine." Her eyes never left Jack.
"Albatross," Mal started, images of a blood splattered hold flashing before his mind. "Ain't such a good idea."
"Ain't no worries Captain Mal, I won't hurt your precious psycho girl, too much." Jack snickered, and River's eyes narrowed.
"Wasn't a request Captain Daddy." She answered evenly.
"River-girl," Riddick warned stopping in mid step as her head snapped around and she leveled her gaze at him.
"The beast should have taught his cub better manners, the ballerina will have to now." She said tossing her pink shiv across the grating.
Jack snorted, "Carryin' a little light there precious, just the one."
"The girl does not require weapons, she is that good." River retorted arching her eyebrow to emphasize her point.
"Bring it on bitch."
Unconsciously the crew had begun to move away from the two, Mal thought about stepping in but he knew River wouldn't actually kill the girl, and the thought of stepping in the middle of the pair right now frankly scared him somethin' powerful, though he wouldn't admit it. Jayne was grateful to escape the humiliation of sparring with Riddick, and more than gleeful at the prospect of a girlie fight, even if one was a crazy and the other a ruttin' brat with a mouth. Zoe was too tired to give a damn, but unclipped her holster just to be safe. Simon and Kaylee sank back onto the floor knowing it was impossible to stop the inevitable, besides Simon told himself it wasn't like he was afraid of stepping in to break it up, he was reserving his energy to patch Jack back up once again when it was over.
Riddick knew he should stop it, but Jack needed to learn her place in the pack and if this was the way then so be it, though he was prepared to shut River down if she should cross a line. River heard his thought and shot him a nasty glare, which twisted up around the edges in a frightening smirk.
"Do not worry my beast, your girl, will not hurt the child-named Jack." She smirked.
Jack snapped and lunged at River, who side stepped easily.
"Rule number two, never fight angry." River chimed sweetly spinning around and planting her heel into the base of Jack's spine, sending the girl tumbling forward. Jayne hooted and River spared him a smile.
"You bitch!" Jack spat out.
"The brat-named Jack is incorrect the girl is not a female dog, she is however better than you." River sidestepped another wild swing, letting the girl wind herself further.
Humiliated Jack forced herself to calm down, the girl moved like Riddick, but faster, more graceful, with Riddick she had had the size advantage, being smaller she could move around him easier, with River they were roughly the same size and she had to face facts River was better.
"The girl is glad the brat agrees." River taunted.
"Stay the ruttin hell out of my head!" Jack roared dropping low and attempting a leg sweep.
River easily jumped over the sweep as if she were playing hop scotch and not fighting, she back flipped catching Jack's jaw with her foot as the girl brought herself back up from the leg sweep, sending her right back down.
Jack spit blood out onto the grating unwilling to admit defeat and against all her better judgment she jumped up moving on the offense. River ducked, dodged and side step Jack's every attempt, easily infuriating Jack more as she danced around her. Finally River yawned.
"The girl is tired of this game, time to end it." She said side stepping yet another wild swing, she spun around, her arm lashing out and connecting with Jack's face. The girl stumbled, blinded momentarily, but River did not pause in her assault, she followed with a hard uppercut and then a spinning back kick.
Jack was on the floor.
"The girl is finished for today and is returning to her bunk, anyone" River glared directly at Riddick, "Anyone daring to interrupt will feel her wrath." She smiled sweetly and spun her way up the stairs and to their bunk.
Riddick shook his head and walked over to the crumpled heap which was Jack. "Done for the day, you all can thank little miss assassin and little miss big mouth for it, Doc gonna need you in the infirmary." Riddick grumbled helping Jack to her feet.
"Ruttin psycho readers," Jack muttered.
"Watch it girl, that got you into this mess." Riddick chuckled.
"Was like trying to fight a super fast mini you," she moaned, not really angry anymore just bitter the feng le girl had shown her up. "'Iffin it wasn't for the gorram Reaver poison I would have at least gotten a hit in."
Jayne chuckled as he walked by, "Ain't ruttin likely little bit, girl took me down without so much as a blink and watched her take out a room full of forty Reavers to save our pig gus (asses) we walked outta there all sorts of hurtin' and banged up, River-girl," Jayne said mindful to use her name instead of crazy, "didn't so much as have a scratch."
Simon dragged himself up off the floor to follow Riddick to the infirmary, while Kaylee decided the floor was a perfectly acceptable place to stay and Mal agreed. Zoe managed to drag herself up the stairs muttering something about keeping River and Jack at each other's throats to keep Riddick from killing their all with his gorram work outs.
"'Nother genius plan from our fearless Cap," Kaylee muttered bitterly at Mal, who chose to feign death rather than agree or reply.
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River walked past the infirmary where Jack sat on the table holding and ice pack to the left side of her face. She felt the wave of bitterness and hatred as soon as she came into Jack's eye line. She also picked up on some rather disturbing thoughts involving River's hair and a vat of used pipe sealant. River made a mental note and then stopping by her bunk collected a few items she had picked up on Antheia, she stretched out her senses to locate the crew members. Zoe was nursing her shoulder, an old war injury she didn't want the captain to see, Mal had still not moved from the hold floor with Kaylee, while Jayne had collapsed face first on to his bunk and was deeply asleep, dreaming once more of things River just found revolting. Simon and her beast were still with the brat-named-Jack in the infirmary.
River slipped into Jack's bunk.
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An hour later while the crew half heartedly ate a very late breakfast, a scream tore through the ship. Every head jerked up at the table except for River who was very interested in a piece of protein on her plate.
"River." Riddick growled.
"The brat-named-Jack was planning on replacing the girl's shampoo with pipe sealant, the girl decided a premeditated surprise attack was warranted, the brat-named-Jack does not easily learn her lesson."
Jayne spit his food across the table when a very angry and very purple towel clad Jack stormed into the mess. "Gorram ruttin' reader!" She shrieked.
"The brat-named-Jack should learn to not think nasty thoughts about the girl who can read her mind." She said absently not even looking up, "The brat-named-Jack should also realize the beast is not her exclusive property. The girl had been hoping for friendship but she will accept it as an impossibility."
"You ruttin bitch! How long will this take to wash off?" Jack demanded.
Simon bit his lip to keep from laughing which was more than anyone else at the table was tryin' to do. "About two weeks Jack, if she used the same formula as before."
"Negative, the girl could not find the exact ingredients required, adjustments had to be made the brat-named-Jack should expected to be painted for a month, she would be wise to take it for the reminder that it is."
"Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Jack screamed stomping her foot and stalking from the room, a string of obscenities and loud banging following behind her.
"River," Riddick spoke.
She looked up innocently.
"Need to lay off her, she's got a mouth but that's all it is."
"The girl has done nothing but try to extend friendship, she is not to blame, every action has an equal if not greater reaction."
"Yeah, 'cept Jack didn't actually have a chance to get around to switching your shampoo, you're a reader shoulda just waited 'til she did it and dumped the shampoo."
"The girl will not wait to be attacked, it is not her fault her enemy lacks the intellectual capacity to keep up."
Riddick grunted fully aware there would be no winning the argument and not a gorram moment of peace on the ship until their girls worked out whatever shit was between them.
"Albatross, might consider goin' easy on the girl, she's just a bit, you're supposed to be a grown women."
River huffed stabbing at her protein, before standing. "The girl will be in the cockpit attending to her duties."
Jayne had yet to stop chuckling finding a prank war that didn't involve him mightily amusing, while the rest of the table found the idea highly unsettling.
Mal was not particularly pleased with the entire situation if he didn't have enough gorram gou shi (shit) on his plate already the last thing he needed was a couple of feuding females. "Riddick might wanna consider havin' a talk with your women, be needin' my ship to arrive whole on Antheia and a crew in the right frame of mind for what we got ahead."
"You got any suggestions Mal, I'm open, otherwise might as well let the whole thing play out." In truth, his beast was purring over the idea of their girls competing for attention, but a line was going to be have to be drawn, he just hoped it wouldn't be done in blood. River was their mate, Jack like their kid sister, same way he supposed the crew felt 'bout little sunshine was the way he felt about Jack. He would let it play out for now.
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Training day 2: 0615 hours.
The second morning Riddick did not have to resort to the air gun, the crew albeit bitching and moaning the entire time, all that was except Jack, who was still trying to stay on Riddick's good side playing up the purple skin, were nearly on time and gathered in the hold. After running through some warm ups Riddick announced to their great relief there would be no laps.
"River girl get your ass up here," he barked up and River obeyed shooting Jack a look as she danced happily to her beast's side. "Gonna work on some holds." Riddick flipped a shiv out from thin air, and moved behind River, pressing it close to her throat. "May think your dead when a blade gets this close, ain't a better time to turn the fight to your favor, see the hun dan, behind you might think he's got you now, start to relax.
Kaylee stiffened, visions of Jubal Early flashing in front of her mind, angry that even after all this time he could still reach out and hurt her.
River picked up on the sunshine's cloud, and winked at her. Her hands flying up to Riddick's wrist and using it as a distraction she kicked hard at his opposite knee causing the desire effect of losing his grip on her, still holding his wrist she ducked out wrenching his arm up and twisting, her hair swirling around her, a giggle as he released the shiv.
"Fuck! River!" Riddick barked, "What the fuck happened to this being a rehearsal!" He snapped and the girl pirouetted away giggling. "Kaylee girl, you're next." Riddick said after flexing his wrist and making sure it still worked properly he picked his shiv back up.
Kaylee stood feigning a confidence she did not feel, River picking up on it stood again and took Kaylee's hand leading her over to Riddick. "The sunshine must not be afraid, when in danger she must make herself hard, must learn that the sun can burn."
Kaylee gave her a shaky nod in response. None of the crew missed her nervousness and Mal almost interjected before Zoe stayed him. "Kaylee girl needs this Mal, gotta let her learn to beat down her own monsters, may come a day when none of us are there to save her." Mal looked at Jayne who nodded in agreement, Kaylee was more like kin to him than anyone else aboard the ship, and he had made good and sure all his sisters back home knew how to deal with any hun dan who got all feely. Simon fretted but remained silent, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around his sunshine and make it all go away.
Kaylee positioned herself in front of Riddick, visibly trembling. "Little sunshine," Riddick whispered low enough for only River and him to hear, "got slow down your breathin', gotta focus, you let them know you're afraid you give 'em power, and ain't nobody got power over you, dong ma?"
Kaylee nodded trying vainly to take several deep calming breathes, but the air simply refused to enter her lungs. After a moment River placed a hand on Riddick's shoulder and shook her head.
Riddick turned Kaylee around to face him, tears were brimming in her eyes. "Ain't gotta try today little sunshine, but me and you are gonna work on somethings, gonna make you strong so no man can hurt you, may be a lot things girl, a lotta of them bad, but hurtin' women ain't somethin' I hold to. Want you to talk to Jack, girl knows what it feels like, I made her strong too, ain't no man can touch her now she don't want to, and she's littler than you." Riddick was still whispering, wasn't none of the crew's concern what passed between them in that moment, "Promise you girl, ain't gonna let it happen. You stand up here close by River-girl, and I'll show you what happens when a man thinks he can overpower a little thing." Riddick paused waiting for his words to make it through Kaylee's fear which was so thick he could smell it, wasn't right and he aimed to put a stop to it, was gonna see George 'bout one or two things when they got dirt side.
"Jack!" Riddick barked. She leapt up immediately and took her place in front of him. "This here little bit," he announced to the crew, "don't look like much, but she could take down a man Jayne's size with her eyes closed, that's her advantage, they don't think she can touch 'em." Jayne snorted. "Don't let yesterday's little spar deceive you, ain't many that can hold ground with River-girl." He smirked and the crew could do nothing but agree.
Riddick told Jack, "after you break the hold want you to come at me, need to show Kaylee girl ain't no man can make her scared." Jack glanced over at Kaylee a sudden and almost instinctual kinship forming with the ship's mechanic and she resolved to hang about the engine room a bit more, after all cap told her it was her job.
River picked up on Jack's thoughts and begrudgingly she softened slightly toward the girl as she held Kaylee's hand leaning in to explain the moves.
Riddick wrapped the shiv around Jack's throat who pretended to go limp with fear causing Riddick to adjust his stance to accommodate the extra weight. Jack made her move, rolling her shoulder back she slammed her elbow into the soft spot beneath Riddick's ribs, forcing the air from his lungs, he switched his grip while trying to get his breath back, but Jack didn't give him the chance, her left hand clamping down on his wrist, she rolled her whole body forward, wrenching his wrist and sliding out, she followed through with a knee to his face and spun out and away.
"What the fuck don't you women understand about rehearsals?" Riddick barked.
Jack and River actually giggled together. Riddick flipped his shiv to his good wrist and took a swipe at Jack, who dropped low and swung her legs out knocking Riddick down. "Nice Jack!" Riddick praised and she beamed side stepping another swipe. Riddick was of course not performing to his usual standard and everyone besides Simon and Kaylee realized this. His swings were lazy, slow, but he was trying to prove something to Kaylee and his esteem was raised slightly in the eyes of the crew.
Jack knowing this decided to milk it for all it was worth, and pulled the same back flip move River had used against her the day before, her feet connecting with his jaw, he stumbled back, and then spinning around as she landed, her leg shot out again, knocking the shiv from his hand. She dove for it, but as her fingers curved around the shiv's handle she felt one of Riddick's massive hands grab her ankle and yank her toward him. He grabbed her up by her neck but Jack swung round the shiv point pressed into Riddick's chest. "Good girl." Riddick growled and dropped her. "Pair off," he barked at the crew, "River, you and Zoe, Mal you and Jayne, Doc you take Jack, ain't as big as the other's Simon, gotta learn to use it to your advantage, Jack will show you how." Simon wanted to be offended but after Jack's display with the beast man he was actually a little nervous.
"Don't worry Doc," Jack snickered, "I'll go easy on ya, can't break the guy that patches us up."
"Little sunshine you're with me got a thing or two to teach you, ready girl?"
Kaylee nodded with a squeeze of River's hand and followed Riddick to a corner of the hold.
The crew of Serenity paired off, each moving through a series of holds and breaks, most Zoe and Mal were familiar with from the war, but they both realized they'd been relaying on their guns a bit too much, the moves were rusty and forced, instead of the old days when they would have flowed natural like. Jayne was a big fan of the bar room brawl and was heartily enjoying himself getting a few shots in at the captain free of charge. Simon didn't fail as miserably as he thought with Jack, though it was a humbling experience, getting the gou shi (shit) beaten out of you by a purple skinned teenager.
The crew was no more than an hour into the exercise when everyone halted as Riddick roared from across the room, a shiv sticking out prominently from thigh. "GORRAM IT TO RUTTIN' HELL, SON OF A MOTHER FUCKING BITCH! GODDAM FENG LE WOMEN DON'T KNOW WHAT A FUCKING SPAR IS!" Kaylee jumped around him apologetic like.
"Wo de tian a (oh my god!)! Riddick I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it, you was movin' so fast and I didn't…."
Riddick forced himself to take several deep breathes as he ripped the shiv out of his thigh, grimacing he tore apart of his shirt off and tied off the stab wound.
River and Jack simultaneously collapsed into a fit of giggles.
"Ain't fucking funny!" he snapped.
"Riddick, I," Kaylee stifled a giggle herself, "I… I… didn't."
"Don't you start laughing to little sunshine." Riddick winced as he started to make his way up the stairs. "Doc, a little gorram help here."
"Oh, um," Simon stuttered, "Right, let's get that stitched up then." He managed with a barely concealed smirk.
When Riddick was half way up the stairs, the whole crew lost their composure and a roar of laughter echoed, bouncing off the walls, assaulting Riddick, "Ain't ruttin doin' it anymore Mal." He trailed off with a rather inventive string of Mandarin. "You comin' River-girl?" He barked when he reached the top.
River collected herself up off the floor and followed behind her wounded beast, biting on her lip to keep herself from laughing further, she knew her beast was fully functional, no major arteries had been hit and the sunshine had not used enough force to go very deep.
Jayne walked over a clapped Kaylee on the back, "'Iffin I knew that was the way to get out of these gorram sessions, woulda done it yesterday." He howled.
"You did Jayne, and Riddick almost tore your wrist off." Mal smirked at his merc's answering scowl, "Nice work little Kaylee might see a little gift from your old captain for savin' him from another one of those runs, how's a whole crate of strawberries sound?"
"Really didn't mean it Cap', he moves so fast, I panicked." Kaylee said amazed with herself.
"See girl you got a shiv past the 'verse's most deadliest, 'sides River of course," Zoe said bending to pick up the discarded shiv, she wiped away the blood on her pant leg, "Way's I see it girl this is yours now," she flipped the blade and handed it over to the mechanic, "Seein' as how you can take down Big Evil over there, don't think you got much to be afraid of anymore."
Kaylee let the reality of Zoe's words sink in, and while see couldn't be sure she would be able to do something like that again, she had in fact taken down Richard B. Riddick, and that was somethin' to think on. She flipped the shiv in her hand, and tucked it into her boot, a new kind of radiance adding to her sunshine.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"Ruttin hell." Riddick bitched back alone in their bunk.
River giggled and gently placed a kiss over Riddick's bandages.
"Ain't funny girl." He growled.
"The beast has made the sunshine brighter than before, she is not yet unafraid but she is willing to stand against her fears."
"Yeah and all I had to do was get ruttin' stabbed for it." He grumbled.
"The girl knows her beast did not intend to let the sunshine burn him, but she is grateful he has decided she is worthy of his protection as well."
"Ain't decide nothin' girl." He growled.
"The beast is growly because of his injury, the ballerina must resort to other tactics to make him purr again." She whispered crawling up his body planting tiny kisses across his bare chest.
"That's more like it, ain't right to be laughing when a man gets stabbed." He grumbled still.
"The beast is right, the ballerina should be comforting, not mocking, she is very good at comforting," she continued to whisper as she found his lips, effectively ending any further complaints.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
A/N: Wow, so yeah this one turned out much longer than the little blip I expected it to be, I know it seems like a whole lotta fluff especially with Inara being in danger and the recent Reaver infestation but Im attempting to show an evolving Riddick, though I may be rushing things I'm trying not make it overly fluffy, Riddick's beast meant what he said when he told him that they would become anything for her, River has changed since he first knew her in the Academy she has grown and experienced. Riddick is almost subconsciously molding to meet her new needs and desires.
Maybe it's a stretch, but in this story their minds were bonded at the Academy so it only makes sense that when she evolves he would too and vice versa. Not to mention she balances his aggression while he balances out her sanity, losing one tips the balance, which why River went crazy and Riddick went psycho killer.
Anyways… thanks for listening to me ramble, hope you enjoyed, next chap, Antheia and George!
'Til after now.