A/N: Yikes. Real life and procrastination really isn't my friend, apparently. I honestly hadn't realized it's been over two months since this was updated. I guess going where the muse takes me really does mean slow update rotation.

Not much in the way of actual action for this chapter, but… y'know… we needed to have some plot things happen too, I guess. I had one more scene planned for this chapter, but I'll just put it in the next chapter. I think it'll probably work better there anyway. Be prepared, guys... Just... Just be prepared.

In case anyone goes back to re-read this, be aware that I did a sweep of superfluous author notes on previous chapters and made sure the titles appear in the body of the story as well. Also, I found a little mess-up that I revised in a previous chapter. Remember the nurse that took care of Cobra and talked with Angel? Apparently I named her Priscilla, then also named the little girl that Cobra and Lucy watched Priscilla. The nurse has been renamed to Karina, since she was a smaller character when her name appeared. Figured I nip that in the bud now, because we will see that nurse again.

On to the story!

Attached

Cobra really wanted nothing more than to stay in Magnolia and be lazy. It was getting colder and, as far as he was concerned, he didn't really need to take a job. It meant he'd had to leave Monty back at the apartment with promises that he'd be back soon. And, sadly, it also meant that he'd had to talk with Kinana to make sure that, if they didn't come back in the next week, she could stop by and check on Monty. If she didn't live in Fairy Hills, and if there wasn't a ban on pets there, he knew she would have just taken him over there for the time being.

Still, they were out of Magnolia and already on their way through the forest, working on the first step of Erza's plan to catch these bandits. Send the two Dragon Slayers ahead to scout everything out. Natsu using his nose and Cobra using his Soul Listening magic.

They were silent while making their way down the worn path, their gazes searching the looming trees above for any foreign scents. And even though Cobra really hated to admit it, he was keeping a close eye on just how Natsu went about scouting using his Slayer senses. Sure, he technically had the advantage by being able to hear the bandits' souls - if they were there - but Natsu had been doing shit like this longer than him. He'd been raised doing this.

Cobra would be a moron to not take advantage of this opportunity to learn. Not that he'd let Natsu know about it.

Natsu paused in his step, with the Poison Slayer at his side doing the same, his eyes narrowing while he looked at the winter-bare trees around them. "Forest's kinda quiet," he whispered.

Cobra hummed, his eye closing while he sent his magic out. He could hear Lucy, Gray, Erza, and Happy behind them by at least a hundred meters. Animals nesting for the night, while nocturnal fauna crept around. No other human souls, though. "Just animals," he said.

"Not near us. I don't hear them."

Cobra frowned and stretched his magic further. He could hear the souls of the animals around them, but not the sounds they made while wriggling through the forest. Definitely weird. "Probably nothing," he said, taking a step forward and opening his eye again. His arm shifted before Natsu could make a grab for him and he turned to glare at the salmon-haired mage. "What?"

"Can you hear everyone else?"

"Yeah." Cobra turned to look back the way they'd come, taking a deep sniff of the air at the same time as Natsu. "I don't smell them though."

"I smell Happy," Natsu frowned. "And everyone else." Which meant that Cobra's senses just weren't as strong as Natsu's. Not that he really needed the damn reminder.

Cobra wanted to chalk up the silence around them to the fact that maybe the animals saw himself and Natsu as predators. He really did. Except, he hadn't lived this long by being willing to believe in the best case scenario. "C'mon. Let's keep going."

'You thinking it might be a spell?' Natsu thought, casting Cobra a sidelong glance.

"Could be. Best to keep moving." Finally, they started walking again. If there was someone watching, somehow, then making it appear that they were none the wiser to either of them being aware of something being off would definitely benefit them.

It was only after several minutes that the soft sounds of crickets chirping returned to the forest, nearly deafening from the sudden silence before. Whatever it had been, passed. Cobra was definitely thankful for that.

After another few minutes, the sudden thoughts swirling around in Natsu's soul had Cobra's eye rolling. This was definitely the last fucking thing he wanted to talk about.

"How come Luce doesn't spend time with anyone now?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Oh, Cobra knew exactly what he was talking about, though. Apparently, the blonde had been so wrapped up in working with him to fix up her apartment that she'd completely ignored the rest of the team. That wasn't really his fucking problem though. Her apartment was done, completely repainted and sort of furnished - she was waiting to get a new desk and living room set to replace the furniture that had been damaged, but at least her bed survived - and she was no longer staying with him.

When Natsu thought more about it though, apparently Lucy had started ignoring everyone else in favor of spending time with Cobra since he'd come to the guild.

That was not fucking good. Not at all.

The last thing he needed was her getting attached to him and thinking they were anything more than two mages who were forced to work together. Yes, he wanted to get between her legs, and he was thoroughly enjoying the tangents her soul went on when she started thinking about what it was like to kiss him, or how long she'd had to wear concealer between her tits to hide the hickey he'd given her, but that really didn't mean that he wanted her thinking they were going to get married and live happily ever fucking after. There was a very real difference between wanting to fuck her and wanting to be with her.

It wasn't helping that Natsu was starting to think that maybe they had some sort of secret relationship.

"It's not what you're thinking," Cobra said with a sneer.

"Then what is it? All she ever does is spend time with you now."

"Her apartment flooded," Cobra said. "I helped her fix it."

Natsu's scowl deepened while they both stepped over a lifted, gnarled root in the path. "She could have asked everyone on the team to help her though."

"You would have set the place on fire," Cobra shrugged. "Frosty McSnowballs has more control, but if the two of you work together, it's a fucking disaster because he has to do better than you." He shook his head and let out an exasperated sigh. "Honestly, you guys are fucking ridiculous."

"We're not that bad."

"You're thinking about the town you and Gray destroyed… a whole fucking town… Over you trying to give Gray a damn purple nurple..."

"... Shut up."

"And Erza…" He paused at that. Honestly, he hadn't a clue why Lucy hadn't asked the redhead to help her get her apartment fixed. She'd only thought about asking Gajeel, but he'd been away on a mission already. As far as Cobra knew, asking anyone else on the team hadn't even crossed her mind. "I… don't know about that one," he finally said. "She didn't think about it."

"Well, Erza's good at fixing things, too," Natsu frowned. "She even helped me build my house before I knew how to do a whole lot of anything. And we've all done construction jobs before. Luce might not realize it, but she kinda just threw the team to the side to hang out with you. Which I still don't understand why she'd want to…"

Cobra shrugged. "You'd have to talk to her about it. If you want to spend time with her, I really don't care. She's living in her apartment again. Do whatever you want." Honestly, if he could get the blonde out of his hair, then that would be for the best. Because the more time he spent with her, the more he wanted her. A whole three days had gone by since they'd finished working on her apartment, and he'd been aching to have her soul so fucking close to him again. He wanted to wake up and hear her on his couch, in his living room. And that fact was what had made him more than happy to take a damn mission and not have Lucy able to be even remotely close to him. Not with the rest of their guildmates around.

"Did you kiss her first, or did she kiss you?"

Cobra's head whipped to the side to glare at Natsu, only to find narrowed olive eyes glaring right back at him. He knew for a fact that Lucy hadn't told anyone about them kissing. She wasn't ashamed of it, and she hadn't changed how she acted around him in public. So how the hell did Natsu, of all fucking people, know about that?!

"I'm not as stupid as I act, Cobra," Natsu said over the Poison Slayer's low growl. "Sure, there's lots I don't get, but one thing I do know about is caring about someone. And I care about Luce."

"How do you know about that?" he spat.

Natsu shrugged, then a slow smirk lifted his lips. "You just told me."

"Bastard ass motherfucker," Cobra sneered. God, he wanted to rip the asshole's spine out and beat him to death with it. Still, he'd pretty much just walked right into that one. It looked like Natsu had actually managed to grow the hell up, mentally. Took him fucking long enough. "Does it really matter who did it first? She knows the fucking score. And I haven't done anything she hasn't wanted."

Granted, Lucy hadn't exactly said she wanted him to pin her to the floor and suck paint off of her. He'd been going on instinct at that point, but she hadn't complained either. Well, she'd complained about the hickey a little bit, but the blonde just kept thinking about how much she loved what his mouth had reduced her to.

"Sure, but Luce…" Natsu paused in his step, his gaze locking onto Cobra's when he turned to look over his shoulder. "She does a lot to make up for how she was raised. Sometimes it's kinda stupid, but…" Like how she slept around with random guys on occasion, or the ridiculous situations she got herself into from time to time. Or how she tried so hard to be part of the drinking crowd in the guild even though she really was a lightweight. "Well, it's not like anyone can tell her not to do it."

"Can't live her life for her," Cobra shrugged. "What does that-"

"Sometimes I want to," Natsu whispered, letting his gaze break away from the single indigo orb boring into him to look up at the spindling branches arching over their path. The moon barely broke past the trees, dappling both of them in silvery light just bright enough for him to make out his puffs of breath in the chilled air.

"What?" Cobra frowned. He turned fully toward Natsu, waiting for the Fire Slayer's eyes to lower to him once again.

"Sometimes, I wish it was reversed. That Luce was me, and I was her. Then I could take all the bad stuff for her, and she could just… Smile all the time."

'Life's hard, but I've always got a reason to smile with the guild. I love Fairy Tail… Having a family after Igneel left… I just wish I could protect her.'

Cobra's lips pursed slightly at the errant thought from the mage before him. Oh, he knew all too well just how devoted Natsu was to his friends and the guild. That was pretty much the guy's default function.

But while that was damn near the status quo for Natsu, Cobra suddenly realized that was never something he'd done. He'd never really had a selfless thought like that. There had never been a point in his life where he'd wanted to switch places with someone else just to spare them pain, to protect them, to keep them safe. All the shit Brain had put him and the other Seis members through when they were kids had taught Cobra that he couldn't look out for anyone else, because he had to keep an eye on his own back.

When he'd heard Sorano's screams and cries for help, he'd wanted to protect her, sure… but not once had he thought that he would take her place so she wouldn't have to suffer. And he'd never really done anything to try and protect her.

Life had always been about him. About searching for the best benefit to himself, and how he could sway things to work in his favor. And maybe it was pathetic to others, but Cobra's biggest concern since the day he was born, was watching out for his own fucking hide. The only exception was Cubellios, and now Monty. He'd taken them in and cared for them as best he could, but that was different. It wasn't like he'd done it to make them smile or brighten their lives.

Cubellios had been his first friend. And Monty… Cobra suddenly realized, while staring at Natsu, that he'd taken the little albino python in because he needed to fill that empty space. He needed to have something to take away his loneliness in a guild he didn't want to be in, forced into this shit situation that held him back at every turn.

But Cubellios and Monty weren't human. No human had ever mattered to him before.

"We all just kind of act like the big things aren't that big," Natsu sighed. "Phantom wasn't that bad, since the town was saved and we got Luce back. Dealing with you guys wasn't that bad, because we stopped the disaster and we took Wendy in. We survived Tenrou Island and Acnologia. And the dragons during the Games…" He took a step forward, keeping his eyes locked with Cobra's. "Luce is always in the thick of it, just like the rest of us. Always fighting by our side. Even when I met her, she didn't just back down. But it takes a lot to deal with that. And even though Luce and the rest of us say we lean on Fairy Tail, on our nakama, there are some things you just can't do that with."

Cobra's eye narrowed slightly and apprehension prickled the base of his neck. "Why are you suddenly giving me a crash course in dealing with her, when I'm only on this fucking team because I have no other choice?"

"Because you kissed her. And even if Luce says it doesn't mean a thing, or acts like it doesn't, I know it does."

"Then that's her fucking problem," he growled. The last fucking thing he needed was Lucy starting to care about him. God, just the thought made him want to vomit. "And if that's the case, then I'll make sure she understands, loud and fucking clear, that I want none of the shit she might dream up in that rat's nest brain of hers." After a moment, he added, "Did Gray or Bickslow get this same lecture?"

Natsu's lips curled into a small grin. He hadn't known that Cobra knew she'd slept with Bickslow or Gray. Well, everyone knew about her and Bickslow, since they'd hooked up on Halloween, but she never talked about the few times she and Gray slept together. And he was sure that Lucy didn't know that he knew because he'd smelled it all over her. "Nope. But Luce never ignored us for a guy before. With Bickslow, she tried to keep it a secret, and they only saw each other here and there. That was actually my fault that anyone found out they were sleeping together."

"So I heard."

"And Gray cares about Luce. Bickslow does, too. I'm telling you this, because I know you don't care about her at all. And even though I don't want you anywhere near her or my guild, you're stuck with us. Just like we're stuck with you."

Cobra fought not to show any outward reaction. It wasn't his damn job to care about Lucy. So he wanted to fuck her. So the hell what if he'd kissed her? She sure as hell hadn't been complaining when he'd kissed her to the point where she'd lost track of time. She hadn't uttered a single word to make him stop when she'd been all sniffly and petting Monty, when he'd kissed her again. She definitely hadn't wanted him to stop when they'd been flinging paint at each other.

"It's because I care about Luce that I don't wanna see her get hurt by thinking something good can come from being near you. So if you need to break her heart, do it now before it's too late."

"She doesn't love me, Sulphur Dick. We kissed. That's it." Just saying that word had Cobra wanting to retch. All they'd done was kiss, and he'd been listening really fucking closely to Lucy's soul to make sure she wasn't jumping down the rabbit hole and getting lost in some fucked up candy cane lala-land. The fact that Natsu's tense shoulders eased and his bright grin gleamed had his eye narrowing with suspicion.

"Good," Natsu laughed. "Then I won't have to set you on fire for making her cry."

'She's cried enough. She's had enough pain. I just want her to be happy for once.'

"You wouldn't get close enough," Cobra snorted, turning away from Natsu and continuing on their path through the woods. Once he heard Natsu's steps falling in next to him, he stayed silent and dipped into his companion's soul. The last thing he'd wanted to hear was what the bastard was thinking about though.

Lucy knelt on the rich marble floor, tears streaming down her cheeks as she gazed into her future-self's dying eyes. She'd come from the future, taken the hit that Rogue had sent toward Lucy of this time. Natsu turned away from the sight of his best friend crying over her own corpse, her sudden wails ringing between his ears as he snarled and gazed at Future Rogue.

The pair continued on in silence after that, with Cobra not having to look at Natsu's profile to know he was smiling. Even while thinking about one of the most painful days of his fucking life, Natsu smiled. It just wasn't natural.

Still, even though Cobra had been released from prison to help get the dragon situation under control, he didn't really know a whole lot about what had really been going on. It hadn't mattered to him at the time. He'd been out of his damn cell and able to fight, what more could he really fucking ask for? But he never heard anything about the Grand Magic Games or the dragons or anything else from Lucy's soul.

When he thought about it, Cobra hardly ever heard anything from her about what really upset her, unless it was happening in the moment. She locked it all down, and he found a rather large part of him wondered…

What would happen if her forced her to dredge up the past and think about the pain in her life? What would her soul sound like if she was in so much pain that she went insane? Most importantly, though… How much would he enjoy hearing her soul screech and wail in agony?

The only way to find out would be to do it. Sadly, that was just a little counterproductive to his goals with Lucy. If he actively sought to hurt her like that, the blonde wouldn't exactly be jumping at the prospect of stripping down and getting fucked. 'Oh well… I can just imagine her soul crying instead… Mm, that's nice…'

Cobra stopped dead in his tracks and pulled Natsu to a halt, his eye narrowing in suspicion. He couldn't hear the rest of the team anymore. Their souls had vanished, most likely because they'd just gotten to the section where he and Natsu hadn't been able to hear any animals. "We need to regroup."

"What?" Natsu frowned and turned back toward where they'd come. "What's wrong."

"I can't hear them anymore," Cobra spat, turning on his heel.

"They probably just-"

"I know that, but if I can't hear their souls, then there's something fucking wrong."

Natsu blinked in surprise and gazed down the trail, watching for a moment as Cobra stalked toward where Erza and the rest of the team was at. "Damnit," he muttered, taking off at a run to catch up.

Makarov looked up from the files at his desk when there was a sharp knock on the door that opened a moment later. A gentle smile lifted his lips while closing the folders and watching as Cobra walked in and closed the door behind him. Once the Poison Slayer stood before him, he asked, "Cobra, how was your last mission?"

"No one died."

Makarov chuckled quietly at the growled words. "And that's a good thing, isn't it?"

"That's debatable," Cobra huffed.

"Anything else?"

"The bandits were using some sort of relocation spell that put a section of the forest in a pocket dimension," he shrugged. "Natsu and I scouted ahead and we found it. It sucked out all the sound from around us, but I could still hear the rest of the team's souls, and Natsu could still smell them. Once we were out of it, the sound came back."

"And the rest of the team?"

"When they were in it, I couldn't hear their souls anymore. We turned back and caught up to them and didn't hear any of the fighting they were doing until we'd passed whatever barrier had been put up. It was done before Salamander could say he was all fired up."

"And the forest wasn't destroyed?"

"Miraculously, no. Probably because it was a weird pocket dimension overlaid on the forest. Any of the damage to it didn't transfer to the forest after the fact." He paused, blinking slowly at the patient smile Makarov gave him. "You wanted to see me?"

Makarov nodded and hopped down from his seat. He grabbed one folder from his desk then made his way over to the nearby couch, motioning for Cobra to join him. Once they were both seated, he handed the folder to the Poison Slayer. "As part of your probation, it's my job as your guild master to submit reviews to the Magic Council," he said.

Cobra frowned down at the pages once he opened the folder, then sent a sidelong glance toward the guild master. "And?"

"I wanted you to look over this and make sure nothing's missing," Makarov grinned. "Technically, you're not supposed to know about it, and technically I was supposed to submit this last week-"

"They're not gonna try and lock me up because you're an incompetent prick, are they?" Cobra sneered.

"No," Makarov chuckled. "If you're not supposed to know about this review, they can't hold my not sending it to them against you. Besides, I needed to wait until I received the information from your last mission anyway. Regardless, because this does affect you, I want to know… Is there anything I need to know about that might affect what I write in this review?"

"... As in…?"

"Well, have you gone on any killing sprees?"

"No," Cobra deadpanned.

"Has there been any raping, pillaging, plundering of booty, or anything like it?"

"I'm not now, and I never fucking have been, a damn rapist," Cobra spat. "I don't pillage, and I'm not a damn pirate so there's no booty to plunder." Well, aside from a certain blonde, but he was sure that wasn't what Makarov was talking about. Then again, the guy was a fucking pervert, so it was entirely possible that was exactly what he was talking about.

"Any maniacal cackling?" Makarov asked. "That's usually a bad sign."

Monty slithered out of the lapel of Cobra's jacket and turned toward Makarov, his tongue flicking out to test the air. "What's cackling?"

Without thinking, Cobra pulled the snake from his jacket and let him coil around his hands, then said, "Cackling is a certain type of laugh that's really loud. Kind of like birds."

"What?"

Cobra blinked and slid his gaze over to Makarov. "Monty asked what cackling was."

"You can speak to him?"

He nodded, looking back down at the snake. With a soft sigh, noticing Monty's attention was on the old man, Cobra held his hand out toward Makarov. "Monty, this is Master Makarov. He's a fucking pervert."

Monty hissed and flicked his tongue out again.

"Ah, I'm more than just a pervert," Makarov chuckled. "But hello, Monty. It's nice to meet you." When the python's tongue flickered out once more, he carefully lifted his hand and placed his knuckles before Monty's snout. "Cobra, all I need is for you to look over those papers and let me know if there's anything that needs fixing. You seem to be doing well here, and I don't have a problem with making sure you stay out of prison as long as you're still deserving of this probation."

"Shouldn't you be asking Lucy to look over this instead?" Cobra asked. Still he looked down at the pages in the folder and started reading. "She's my 'probation officer' so…"

"Not really," Makarov chuckled. "Whether you stay out of prison really isn't Lucy's concern. This is just something I have to do as your guild master. Like I said, technically, you're not supposed to know about it."

Cobra nodded, then rolled his eye when he realized that the text was too small for him to read comfortably. Luckily, he knew that Makarov really wasn't all that much of a gossip, so it was a little less embarrassing for him to reach into his jacket and pull out the little piece of glass and put it to his eye.

"I was unaware Dragon Slayers would need glasses," Makarov said, frowning slightly.

"The others might not, but I do," Cobra said. "Just for reading. And especially when someone writes so goddamn small."

The older man chuckled. It was definitely an odd sight before him, seeing Cobra wearing a monocle while holding a pure white snake and reading forms. All he needed was a smoking jacket and a pair of slippers, and he would look like quite the dapper young gentleman. "I see."

"Good for you," Cobra muttered. After several minutes, he put the monocle back in his pocket and turned toward Makarov. "Everything looks good, I guess. I'm adjusting fine to being a civilian. No complaints from my neighbors; although, just an fyi… The landlord might not like the fact that I smoke inside, if he ever finds out."

Makarov shrugged. "Not my problem. It only becomes my problem if you kill him. Or try to kill him."

"I won't."

"Then that's all finished." Makarov took the folder from Cobra and set it on an end table, then turned back, ready to call out to the Poison Slayer before he could leave. Luckily for him, he supposed, Cobra was still sitting in the same place, seemingly waiting for something while Monty slithered over his arms and around his hands.

"You look like there's something else," Cobra said.

"There is." Cobra stayed silent, and Makarov was suddenly struck by just how different he was from the others in his guild. While everyone was seemingly ready to get on with whatever they had planned for the day, Cobra simply waited. He was patient - though Makarov knew that some, like Freed and Laki, were similar in that respect. Although Laxus and Gajeel were the more mature Dragon Slayers he'd encountered, Cobra looked as though he wasn't forcing himself to do what needed to be done; namely, just sitting there instead of trying to run out of the room. "Two things, actually."

"Alright."

"The first is that our S Class trials are coming up," Makarov said, watching and trying to gauge Cobra's reaction. The maroon-haired mage simply blinked. "I'm assuming you know what S Class is."

"I do."

"And while there have been times where S Class mages from other guilds transfer to a new guild and keep their status, that's not something we've really had to do here." Cobra blinked again, his face completely blank. "For example, Gajeel could have probably kept his rank as an S Class mage, because he was one in Phantom Lord, but because of the circumstances of his joining Fairy Tail-"

"You made him work his way up," Cobra nodded. "Same with Juvia. I know."

"Technically, you were an S Class mage while with the Oracion Seis," Makarov said carefully. "Considering apprehending you was an S Class mission in and of itself, I can only assume as much."

Cobra shrugged. "We didn't really bother with shit like that, but sure." When Makarov sighed heavily, he finally took pity on the older man and smirked. "You're trying to tell me that I can't become S Class right now, even though people are being put up for promotion. I get it."

"Also because of your background," Makarov said. "It's not something I wish to keep holding over your head, child, but while going through your paperwork, I realized that I can't even try to promote you until your probation is up."

"So, I have to wait five years to be considered for a promotion," Cobra said, watching as Makarov nodded. "Sure."

"... What?"

"You're doing what you have to do," Cobra said. "If you can't promote me to S Class until my probation's done, then fine. Not really a whole lot anyone can do about it. And besides, that fucking monster on my team is S Class already, and I know she's taken the team on those missions with her in the past. So, technically, I don't need to worry about being promoted, because I'm on a team that already takes those missions as it is. And I already know that I won't be kicked off of that team, because there really isn't anyone else here that you trust to try and take me out if I go to the dark side or some other bullshit."

A wry smile pulled at Makarov's wrinkled lips. "Pretty much. However, I will say that I trust Laxus and his team to be able to subdue you, should they be needed."

"Wonderful," Cobra deadpanned. "There was something else?"

"Yes." Makarov looked down at the white snake that had slithered down from Cobra's hands and onto the couch. "I would like to offer you a place in my guild, child."

"I'm already part of-"

"Not you," Makarov laughed, glancing up at the confused Slayer. "Monty."

"You… what?"

"I can see that this snake is more than just a pet to you, Cobra," he said, reaching a hand out and waiting for Monty to grant him permission to pet him. Of course, the snake surprised him by slowly slithering up his arm and winding around it, then gently squeezing. "If he was only a pet, you wouldn't take him with you everywhere."

"I left him at home on that last mission."

"And why did you do that?"

"Because it's cold as fuck and he's just a baby," Cobra frowned.

"Precisely. I can only assume you would have taken Monty along, had he been older and more used to the weather patterns?"

"... Yeah?"

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, anyone in this guild who contributes in some way, is welcome to be a member, and to bear a guild mark. Happy, Pantherlily, and Carla all have guild marks. They aren't pets, but companions. Partners."

"Monty's not a damn exceed though."

"No, but I highly doubt you will be like the other Dragon Slayers and go find an Exceed to take in," Makarov grinned. "Especially when you very clearly have an affinity for reptiles."

Cobra's eye narrowed slightly as he said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, child," Makarov said, his grin widening, "Kinana told me about it already. After you joined the guild, she came to my office and told me the truth."

"About what?"

"About how the two of you met. Sort of. Mostly just that she's known you since you were a child, and she wanted to vouch for you." After a moment, he added, "Oh, and that she was cursed to be a snake. I had my suspicions, but she simply confirmed them for me, officially, and told me that she used to be not just a snake, but Cubellios. Your snake."

Cobra's glare was heavy, domineering, and for a moment, Makarov wondered if he'd stepped over some line in the Poison Slayer's eyes. Still, that wasn't going to stop him from being honest.

"I don't hold her past against her," Makarov said, watching the tension in Cobra's shoulders melt away. "Just as I would like to not hold your past against you. Kinana's proven herself to be an ally to our guild, and she's nakama. You're well on your way to doing the same."

"And Monty?" Cobra whispered. "Why are you offering to give him a guild mark?"

"Because he's just as much a part of this guild as you are," Makarov said, smiling gently down at the serpent who was still tightening around his arm.

"Monty, relax," Cobra said. "It's okay. He doesn't want to hurt you."

Makarov frowned slightly when the pressure on his arm lessened. "So, should I ask you or Monty about this mark?"

"I don't care if he has one," Cobra said slowly. "Monty?"

Monty slowly turned toward Cobra. "What's a guild mark?"

"That weird purple mark on my hip," Cobra said.

"Mommy's hand!"

Cobra sighed and closed his eye for a moment. "Yeah," he said. "Lucy has a pink one on her hand."

"I want! You and Mommy! I want, too…"

If it wasn't so fucking precious, Cobra would slam his own goddamn head into a wall over Monty's insistence on calling Lucy his fucking Mommy. Still, there was no way he was going to correct the snake on it. It wasn't like anyone else would hear what Monty was thinking about in the first place.

"Where do you want it, Monty?" Cobra whispered. Completely forgetting that Makarov was there, Cobra let out a small smile when Monty slithered back over to him and rippled with confusion. "You can get it anywhere you want. On your head, your belly, your back, your tail…"

"Under mouth?"

Cobra's finger brushed along the underside of Monty's jaw. "Here?"

Makarov was definitely surprised to see the snake nod. He hadn't been aware snakes could do that, but it definitely proved that Cobra could actually communicate with Monty. "And what color would you like, Monty?"

"... um…"

"You can pick any color," Cobra said softly.

"I don't know…"

"Well," Cobra whispered, lifting the python to look him in the eye, "There's purple."

"Like your eye."

"Yeah," Cobra chuckled, "Like my eye. And pink."

"Like Mommy."

"Like Lucy's, yeah. And red."

"Like… what?"

"Like my hair," Cobra said, "Or like Salamander's guild mark. And blue, like the sky or dark blue like deep water."

"And green… like grass?"

"Yep," Cobra smirked. "There's green like grass."

"You pick?"

"Okay, Monty," Cobra chuckled. "How about… fuschia?"

"What's fuschia?"

"Pink and purple together."

"Yes!"

Makarov bit his lips while hopping down from the couch and going back to his desk to retrieve the guild stamp and set down the folder with Cobra's review in it. Once he was back at the couch, he'd managed to school his expression once more - because he just knew that it wouldn't go over very well if Cobra saw him getting all teary-eyed over the bonding he'd witnessed - and held up the stamp. "Monty, this-"

"It won't hurt," Cobra whispered. His finger trailed over the top of Monty's head, and he watched as it lifted so Makarov could see beneath it. "Don't be scared."

"Won't hurt?"

"It won't hurt," Cobra said again. He watched and waited as Makarov brought the stamp to the underside of Monty's jaw, smiling when his long body tightened around his arm with anticipation. Once it was done, he shifted and gazed at the pinkish-purple Fairy Tail mark. "Looks good, Monty," he whispered. "You're a Fairy now."

"Welcome to Fairy Tail, child," Makarov smiled.

"Special now?"

"Yeah," Cobra chuckled. "You're special now."

"You're the first snake to ever get a guild mark," Makarov added. "Extremely special, I'd say." He turned his attention to Cobra then. "That's all for now, child. I'll call you up here in a few months for the next review. They'll want something more detailed about the missions you're taking and how they turn out, so we'll need to keep track of those, alright?"

"Sure." Cobra stood and made his way to the door. As soon as it was open, he froze when Monty quite literally vaulted off of his arm and slithered as quickly as possible down the hall. "What the fuck?"

"Show Mommy!"

"That fucking asshole," Cobra groaned.

"... What just happened?"

Without thinking, Cobra said, "Monty says he wants to show Mommy…"

"Mommy?"

His eye closed and he shook his head, rubbing a hand down his face. "He's a baby," he said. "Lucy was there when I took him in, and he's… attached… to her."

"Monty sees Lucy as his mother," Makarov chuckled.

"Fuck off."

"Ah-ah-ah… Is that any way to talk to your guild master?"

Cobra rolled his eye and walked out of the office, smirking as he said, "Fuck off, Master."

"Much better!" Makarov called out, shutting the office door behind him.

The Poison Slayer made his way down the hall and back to the bar. While he really should have expected it, he found himself surprised by the sight of people jumping one way and another on a direct path to Lucy where she sat at the bar, talking to Mira. The blonde was unaware of what was going on, but Cobra simply stood back and watched her smile falter and fade entirely once Monty coiled around her leg and slithered up to the bar.

The fact that she didn't scream was actually more than surprising. She'd been ready to do just that until she saw the little white snake.

"Monty?" Lucy frowned in confusion as she looked into its little red eyes. "What are you doing out here?"

"Mommy see! Mommy see!"

Cobra let out a quiet sigh and made his way over to the bar, taking a seat beside the blonde. He didn't say anything as Monty's head lifted in that familiar periscoping position, even though Lucy tensed and started wondering what was going on.

"Cobra," Mira said softly. "What's he doing?"

"Showing Lucy something," he shrugged. "Can I get a glass of orange juice?"

Mira nodded but didn't move from her spot, keeping her attention on Monty just as intently as Lucy. Monty's head tipped back and Cobra heard his little soul trill happily when Lucy giggled and touched his new guild mark.

"Aw, Monty!" Lucy crooned. "You're part of the guild now!"

"What?" Mira asked.

"Monty has a cute little guild mark!" Lucy said. It took much less effort than ever before for her to reach out and gently stroke the fuschia scales on the underside of Monty's jaw. "Oh, it's so precious!"

'Never would have thought I'd think something about a damn snake is precious… Oh, but he's just so cute! Is that why he came over here? Did Cobra send him?'

"I'll have you know," Cobra muttered while Mira walked off and got his drink, "That little shit jumped clean off of me to get down here and show you. It's all him."

"You really do like me, huh?" Lucy giggled.

"Like like!"

"He says yes."

Lucy smiled softly, then caught a flash of purple hair and waved Kinana down. "Kinana," she called, "You have to come see this! Monty has a guild mark!"

"He does?" Kinana laughed good-naturedly while she set plates down on the table for Elfman and Lisanna. "That's so cute."

"Wait until you see it!" Lucy called back. She turned back to Monty, then bit her lip and glanced at Cobra. "Can-"

"Go ahead," he groaned. "I'll never hear the end of it from him, but sure. Why fucking not…"

Her lips pursed for a moment, unsure of what Cobra meant, then she looked down at Monty again. "Monty, can I take you over to Kinana?"

"Mommy pick me up? Yay!"

It was almost physically painful for Cobra to stop himself from smiling at the sheer excitement in the serpent's little soul. And while a part of him wanted to cunt-punt Lucy for making his little friend so damn happy just by offering to carry him somewhere - because he never acted like that over Cobra wanting to carry him - he knew it was ridiculous. Sure, Monty liked Lucy, but he more than trusted Cobra.

Hell, the little guy had figured out what love was just the night before while they were in the shower and told Cobra that he loved him while coiling around the baskets that were suction-cupped in the corner - his own little jungle gym to play on while Cobra got a nice hot shower.

"Mommy loves me! Mommy pick me up! Yay!"

Cobra rolled his eye as Lucy walked off with Monty wrapped around her arm and slithering up to her shoulder. She was still kind of weirded out by his scales, but she was getting used to it. That was a plus.

"Oh my god, look at that cute little guild mark!" Lisanna cooed.

"That's a manly guild mark for a snake!"

"Aww, Monty, that's the perfect color for you," Kinana giggled. "I love it."

"What's this? Monty has a guild mark?" Erza asked, pausing in eating her cake. Cobra glanced back to watch her eyes soften. "Welcome to Fairy Tail, then, Monty."

"Luce, are you carrying Monty?" Natsu laughed. "I thought you hated snakes!"

"I do," Lucy frowned, bringing her free hand up to brush over Monty's head. "But Monty's different."

"Different how?" Happy asked.

"He's officially a guild mate!" Lucy grinned, pointing to the fuschia mark under his chin.

"Oh, that's so cool!" Natsu bellowed. "Cobra, now Monty and Happy can fight!"

"What?!" Happy screeched. "I'm not fighting a snake!"

"Fuck off, Salamander," Cobra said, shaking his head. "Monty's not fighting anyone."

"Aw, how come?"

"He's just a baby, Natsu," Lucy laughed. She shook her head and took Monty through the guild, showing his new guild mark to everyone present. Levy shied away from him slightly, but still smiled. Gajeel grinned and threw several nails into his mouth, nodding his acknowledgement. The Raijinshuu gave Lucy patient smiles, with the exception of Bickslow who cackled like a fucking lunatic and gave Monty a thumbs up.

By the time Monty and Lucy were back at the bar, Cobra had finished his drink and easily pulled the little python from Lucy to tuck him back into his jacket. "Getting cold?" he whispered. Monty's soul trilled quietly, content and happy.

"Thanks for that," Cobra said, looking at the blonde.

"For what?" she asked.

"For taking him around like that. Getting people used to him."

"Oh, it's no trouble," she said. "If I'd known he was cold, I would've-"

"I know."

"Why did you get him a guild mark?" she asked.

"I didn't. Makarov offered it to him, and Monty accepted."

She smiled and shook her head, and Cobra had to force himself not to watch her while she went back to what she'd been doing before. He ignored her soul and fought to ignore the swelling souls around him. Natsu was a moron, he decided. Lucy wasn't getting attached to him, and she wasn't ignoring everyone else in favor of spending time with him. The fact that they'd kissed really didn't mean a whole lot to the blonde. She wasn't obsessing over it, or anything else he'd done to show her that he was interested.

All that worrying bullshit had been for nothing, he figured. And thank fucking god for that.