Chapter 14

"Claudia Brown."

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"Tell me about Claudia Brown. Who was she?"

'Was' being the operative word. Cutter didn't want to talk about it, but just as Connor had trusted Cutter with the truth about his own problems, he could do no less himself.

"She was our version of Leek, only a lot better looking. She was down to earth, bright, practical, and brave… and she had a wicked sense of humour when you got to know her."

She had teased him about sexual harassment after he'd kissed her at the golf hotel - even though they both knew that she'd been the one to kiss him first, way back at the beginning, before she'd even introduced herself.

"She was at the anomaly site before you went through to the Permian, wasn't she? You were expecting her to be there when you got back," Conner observed.

Cutter really didn't want to be having this conversation, it was too personal. Normally he'd only share something like this with Stephen, his best friend. But his relationship with Stephen had been changed forever by Helen's poisonous act of retribution and Connor was here, now, willing to listen.

"She tried to stop me going through the anomaly with the predators. Said she had a 'bad feeling' about it. I didn't listen - I thought she was just imagining things." Cutter's eyes lost focus as he replayed their final moments in his head. "She kissed me just before we went through. Right there in front of Lester and all of you… and Helen standing not three feet away." He stared down into his mug, and smiled wryly. "Like I said – brave woman." He lifted the mug in silent salute and drained the contents.

"Does Jenny Lewis really look like her?"

Rather than try to explain, Cutter twisted slightly in his seat in order to pull out his wallet. He opened it and stared briefly at the picture there before silently handing it over.

Connor's eyes widened in shock. "My God, it is her! That's Jenny!" he exclaimed.

"Claudia Brown," Cutter corrected with finality.

The uncomfortable silence was broken by the ringing of Connor's phone. He handed back the wallet and fished out his mobile.

"Abby? What's up?… He's what?... He's not supposed to do that... No, I know you know that. Can't you stop him?... Look, tell him I'll come over and help him."

"What's going on?" Cutter asked with concern.

Connor pulled the phone away from his ear. "Stephen wants to take a shower. He knows he's supposed to keep his foot dry for a few days, but Abby says he's insistent. She's tried to reason with him but he's being a bit…rude… about it."

Cutter was both hurt and relieved that Abby had called Connor for help to deal with Stephen's tantrum. The last thing he wanted to do was to get too involved with the man when their relationship was still balanced so precariously. He waggled his fingers indicating that Connor should pass over the phone.

"Abby, put Stephen on…" Taking a deep breath and winking at Connor, Cutter launched into tirade of his own - "Stephen James Hart! What are you doing to that poor girl?... She's right – body odour won't kill you… No, I won't tell her to leave you alone… Oh stop being such a baby, or do you want me to call your mother?"

Even Connor could hear the squawk of protest at that and raised an eyebrow at Cutter.

Cutter just grinned at him. "Right, so behave yourself. Connor's coming over to help you, so just try to be your usual charming self until he gets there, OK?" There was another loud squawk as he closed the phone and handed it back.

"His mother?" Connor asked, intrigued.

"Holy terror – always blames me when her 'darling boy' gets hurt, even when I'm on a different continent," Cutter laughed. "She's the only thing in this universe that really scares him. If she finds out he's injured it'll be chicken soup and bed rest for a month." After a moment of reflection he added, "Just remember that when you're dealing with him – he can be a stroppy bugger when he's sick. You might need to blackmail him into being sensible."

"Blackmail?" Connor mused, a definite twinkle of mischief in his eyes as he got to his feet. "I'll keep it in mind."

"It's always worked for me," Cutter admitted smugly as he trailed Connor to the front door. He pulled out his keys and wrestled the key to the truck free. "Here," he said, holding it out, "take the truck. Just remember…"

"If I break it, I'm paying for it," Conner interrupted. "I know. Thanks."

"I was going to say 'Just remember to pick me up on Monday morning', but that too." As Connor turned to go, he realised there was something else he needed to say. "Hey, Connor. Thank you."

"What for?"

"For believing me. For looking after me. For putting up with my crap for so long and still caring. For…everything."

Cutter found himself the surprised recipient of a brief but strong hug.

Connor stepped back looking embarrassed at his own impulsiveness. "Thanks - for being you and not him. If you need anything just… give me a call."

"I will," Cutter nodded. "Now, you'd better get going. Abby sounded pretty desperate." He pulled open the door and escorted Connor out. "Go and rescue her from the snarling beast."

As the young man made his way over to the truck, Cutter called out again. "Hey, Connor…"

"What?"

"…If he starts to sulk, just ignore him - it'll drive him nuts."

Connor laughed and waved before climbing into the truck.

Cutter stood in the doorway and watched until the Hilux turned a corner and was lost from sight. He stepped back inside and closed the door, leaning back against it. His smile faded and he rubbed his hands down his face.

Connor's presence had helped keep his ghosts at bay, but already he could feel them crowding in around him. Claudia, Helen, Stephen, Ryan… all waiting to pounce and keep him company the moment he let his guard down.

On Monday morning he'd be back at the ARC, pretending to know people he'd never met and trying to fit into his new life. But the worst thing of all, the very worst thing - worse even than losing Claudia - was that Jenny Lewis looked just like her. How could he mourn someone when their living, breathing image was going to be right in front of him every day?

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FINIS

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