The Curse of Cornelius Sigan
Episode: The Curse of Cornelius Sigan
Category: Het
Rating/Warnings: M
"Where are you going this time, Cedric?"
"Camelot."
"And how long will you be gone?"
He sat down on the side of the bed, bending over to remove his shoes. "Perhaps a fortnight. I can't be sure."
"All right," she said softly, knowing there was no point in asking the most obvious question of all. He'd never tell her the purpose behind the journey; if this was like all the others, he'd simply return with a smile on his face and his pockets full of gold. And then they'd live in luxury for a short time… until the money ran out and the hunger in his eyes returned.
She knew that look only too well, a fierce yearning that was impossible to miss as he made quick work of shedding his trousers, then settled himself between her thighs. Taking him inside her without protest, she pressed her face against the side of his neck to avoid the intensity in that stare.
Had there been a time when it had only existed for her? It didn't matter – those days were well and truly behind them, the illusion that she was the reason for his passion, not simply a convenient outlet for it, long ago shattered. No, she knew better now… his frenzied thrusting wasn't driven by thoughts of love for the woman who lay beneath him, placid and silent, but by fantasies of wealth and power, subterfuge and greed.
It didn't take him long – with one ragged shout, he was over the edge, kissing her almost as an afterthought before flopping over on his back and letting his eyes drift closed.
When she awoke in the morning, he was already gone. That was hardly surprising – Cedric had never been one for goodbyes, sentimental or otherwise. If this was to be like all the other times, she'd simply accept his lack of sensitivity, then wait in solitude while plagued by the awful fear that this was to be the journey from which he'd never return.
And all for what? No, she couldn't do it. Not again.
It wasn't an uncertain future that prompted her to rise from the bed, hurrying into her dress in the chilly morning air. No, she only thought of the past as she gathered her possessions – clothing and other personal effects, along with a yellowed bundle of parchment she hadn't even thought about in years.
Those letters had been written by a man who no longer existed – well, a boy to be more accurate. Contained within were heartfelt declarations of affection, along with plans for another life entirely. Love, marriage, children… a would-be husband who'd promised to build their future through honest labor, not deception and thievery. In truth, she was still in love with that Cedric, a fact that had kept her bound to a stranger for years with the futile hope that the man she remembered would somehow return to her.
In the end, it had all been for nothing.
Slinging the satchel over her shoulder, the woman suddenly paused, releasing a heavy sigh as she bent down and withdrew the letters. There was a moment of indecision, tenderly running her fingers over the faded words with a sad smile on her lips. But then they were nothing but ashes, incinerated in the tiny fire she extinguished before glancing around the room for the last time.
Yes, to have the life she wanted, there was no choice but to let go of the past. And as the last of her regrets melted away, replaced by a surprising amount of eagerness, she knew she was ready to face whatever the future might bring.
"Goodbye, Cedric," she whispered, closing the door behind her with a resounding thud.