Everything was black around Roxas, he could barely see the sun shining behind his eyelids- or feel Axel holding him, it was like he was curling up inside of himself and becoming smaller and smaller with each passing second. He just wanted to stop the pain, to stop all the hate that seemed to surround him, and to push away all memories. Even the good ones- because memories were memories and each brought a certain discomfort.
His father haunted his memories and darkened his future- the idea of the man alone was enough to remind the blond that there was supposed to be another person, his mother, around. It was like his past was flashing behind his eyes, allowing him to relive every happy and shame filled moment. Like, for instance, when Roxas had first started school. Most kids wouldn't have considered it 'happy' but to Roxas it was a reminder of what happiness he did have.
Roxas sat at his desk and drew in his notebook, his father sitting across the room for a meeting with his teacher. Kindergarten was almost over and his teacher was thinking of holding Roxas back, just so the blond would socialize with the other kids, "No," his father said loudly, getting Roxas' attention. "You want to hold him back because he doesn't like to play?"
Sephiroth stood up and shouted at the man, "You know damn well Roxas is fucking brilliant so don't you even think about holding him back." And when his teacher told him to quiet down his father yelled more, "Don't tell me what do to! And don't tell me how to raise my child! If he would rather help you than play outside then let him fucking do it! He's a smart ass kid and it's bullshit you think otherwise."
Of course his teacher knew Roxas was smart for his age but he never got to say more because Sephiroth grabbed Roxas' hand and pulled him out of the classroom. And Roxas didn't understand what he had done wrong to get his father and teacher to argue, he asked his teacher if he could stay inside and help pick up rather than go out for recess- because honestly he just wanted to help his teacher, playing with the other kids just didn't interest him. Even if it did it wouldn't matter because the other kids didn't like Roxas and Roxas didn't like them either.
Those were the 'good' days. When Sephiroth needed a fix he would take Roxas with him, "Don't touch my son," he would mutter every once and a while when he saw someone looking at the small blond. If anyone got too close to Roxas he would shout, "Touch my son and I'm going to fucking kill you," and it wasn't an empty threat. But as Roxas got older his father took him with him less and instead of shouting and warning the men like he had the whole thing just turned to glares, till finally his father said nothing at all. And by the time he was 10 his father lost all care and realized he could use Roxas to get drugs.
It was like his father was a completely different person. And he hated it.
He hated that he had to admit to himself that he loved his 'old' father; he loved the blunt and distant man before he became self-centered and crazy, but the fact that he once loved the man hurt.
And Roxas hated that more because when he pushed everything away the thoughts and memories never crossed his mind, but as he sat on the asphalt it was like every past breathe and every past movement was swirling around in his head, the memories ripping to take more and more of his sanity with it. Push it all away, push it all away… push it all away…
He was safe, he was curled up on himself where words would be blocked out and even a kick would be weakened. The only way to survive was to lock himself away and shroud out the pain, he had to keep everything at bay. Amputate the pain before he lost his whole mind.
Cold… distant… numb…
It was the only thing that dulled down the sting.
Just when everything had been blocked out Roxas let himself sit for a few more seconds, just to make sure when he opened his eyes that the wall would stay up and the feelings be gone. Opening his eyes he saw the world at an angle, Axel holding Roxas against his body but Roxas slowly moved to sit against the brick wall on his own, staring at his worn out shoes as his mind cleared- and every feeling with it.
"You okay?" the redhead asked softly, Roxas quickly nodded, knowing if he spoke with words his answer would be sarcastic and Axel would attack him with questions.
Axel nervously watched the blond, he could feel the change in the boy's demeanor, he went from shaking and trembling to relaxed and still. The thought of maybe having let the blond cut crossed his mind but he knew that only would've helped for a few minutes or hours, Roxas would still curl up in his shell and Axel would have to start all over again.
There was a small humming noise and the redhead knew it was the blond's phone, because he knew it wasn't his, and something stuck his heart as Roxas reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Staring blankly at the screen for a few seconds, enough to read the message more than once, and then he was looking back at his shoes. Maybe getting him to open up won't be as hard as I thought…
Roxas looked like he was deep in thought and then the phone vibrated again and when Roxas didn't move Axel spoke up, "Just ignore it…" he said quietly, "Just… hang out with me…" Even though he knew the blond would probably listen to what he said the younger one gave no response that he even heard what he had said.
"Let's go back out front…" he mumbled as he stood up, he held his hand out to help Roxas up but the blond didn't move. Knowing the blond heard him he slowly backed up and went around; he'd wait for Roxas to join him. All the while he was worried and confused.
Worried about Roxas and his mental state and confused about himself- he'd never felt the anger in his chest for someone before and, just like how Roxas was feeling, Axel was unsure if he liked it. He leaned, or rather sat, on the hood of his car, his arms crossed as well as his ankles, he thought getting a place would solve the blond's problems but of course it wouldn't be that simple.
As long as Sephiroth was around Axel knew Roxas would never have the chance of just walking down the street without getting kidnapped or hut by the man. Axel just wanted everything to be going, to be set in motion to help the blond, he could figure it all out but he knew that even if he did that didn't physically get anything accomplished.
His thoughts began to get the best of him and then he saw Roxas walked around from outback, and the look on his face stuck Axel. It was the same depressed look he'd seen on the boy the first time he helped him and after seeing the way they lit up it was like seeing colors for a second only to go color blind again. Disappointing and hurtful but there was nothing he could do at that moment to change anything.
"Have anything you plan on doing today?" the redhead asked the boy, trying not to point out that Roxas looked like a stern doll. All Roxas did was shrug but Axel accepted that as an answer anyways.
When Roxas remained outback his phone had gone off yet again, and then another time when he was receiving a call. He knew what it meant to ignore Saïx but he really couldn't have cared less in that moment, he wanted to be pissed off at someone- just to keep everything blocked out- and Saïx was the perfect victim.
Not even 15 minutes had gone by and a car parked along the road, in front of Axel's car. Out walked the blue haired man and one of his cronies, his eyes not even glancing at Roxas like he couldn't care less what the child was doing. Saïx walked closer while the other stayed in front of the vehicle, and Axel didn't even notice someone was there till he followed Roxas' eyes.
The scarred man stopped by Axel and kept his eyes on Roxas, ignoring Axel, and now that Saïx was so close Roxas couldn't look at him, instead all he could do was grind his teeth and hide his shaking hands. "Who the hell are you?" the redhead finally asked. But he wasn't given an answer.
Instead Saïx spoke to Roxas, "A word," he walked down the parking lot away from Axel and his car and, after a trying-not-to-lose-his-cool breath, Roxas followed. "You ignored my texts… and my calls…" he looked down for a second as he licked his lips, moving closer to the still blond, "Now… why was that?" he was watching all of Roxas' movement and he could tell that alone was making the boy nervous.
"Because," Roxas looked over to the side before looking back in the man's direction, "I'm not your dog, and I really don't give a shit what you tell me to do." His face was quickly being pinched in the man's hand as Saïx forced Roxas to look up at him, the blond gritting his teeth as his breathing became more rapid.
"I," he started, "Own you…" he searched the boy's eyes, "And I expect you to listen to what you're told." He let go of Roxas face and he instantly rubbed his cheeks on his sleeve. "Let's go," he waited for Roxas to start walking but the boy didn't, "Now Roxas."
"I'm not going anywhere with you, so how about you fuck off and drop dead?" his voice was blunt as he turned to walk back towards Axel, who was standing now and watching everything.
Saïx yanked Roxas back by his arm and hissed in his ear, "You will come with me," he glared at the boy even though he couldn't see his face.
"Oh yeah? And why the hell would I want to do that?"
Saïx watched the redhead for a second, "If you don't… I'll tell the redhead… I'm sure he'd love to know everything…" Roxas stiffened in Saïx' hold and the man weakly chuckled, loving the response. "Say goodbye and get in the car… now…"
Roxas tugged his arm out of Saïx' grip and walked back towards the car, "What was all that about?" the redhead asked, relaxing a bit again.
"Nothing…" was all Roxas said, till he thought about what Saïx had said again, "I have to go…"
"What?" he was on full alert again.
"I uh," the blond started, looking up at Saïx and then at the car, "I got some shit I got to do…" he said plainly.
Axel rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed, "What kind of shit?" when Roxas didn't answer Axel stood up and made his way to the driver side door, "You know what? Fine, do what you want," and that didn't sit well with Roxas.
"Why the hell are you all pissed?" he didn't completely understand where that was coming from but he was quick to react to it.
"No reason at all," he said as he opened his car door and pulled out a pack of menthols, lighting it right in front of the blond and quickly slamming his door shut with him still standing. "What?" he questioned but the blond said nothing, "Does it bother out I want to do something?" he questioned.
"What the fucks your problem?"
"Nothing at all Roxas!" he shouted, "I just figured I wouldn't get ditched, again, for some fucking…" he sized Saïx up, "Creep, but apparently I was just too stupid to think you'd actually want to hang out."
"I'll be back later!" he yelled at Axel, who instantly rolled his eyes.
"Oh yeah, okay, I'm going to ditch you- but it's okay because I'll be back later. Probably just to ditch you again but who cares, right?"
"I don't know why the fuck you're being such a bitch about it," the blond said back calmly, "It's not like you're my boyfriend- it's not like you've even admitted that we were friends! So don't fucking blow up in my face because you suddenly want to admit you have feelings."
Popping his cigarette in his mouth he pointed at Roxas with his now free hand, "Fuck you- who the hell are you to talk to me about feelings? I've shown more than you even fucking got!"
The blond was silenced, he backed up a little and watched the redhead, "Yup, you're right," he put his arms up at his sides, "So you really shouldn't miss my company," he walked around the redhead and towards Saïx' car, where the man was currently waiting.
Axel watched the car drive away and all he could do was roll his eyes and stare at the spot where the blond just was. He didn't regret what he said, at least not at that point in time, instead he hated the fact that it seemed the only person who was able to make him feel like he had a heart was the same person to break it. It was just proof, he decided, they weren't even together more than 'acquaintances' and they'd already had more than one major fight. It was a sign telling him to just walk away…
Roxas sat in the back seat, slouched and staring out the window, his leg bouncing as adrenaline filled his veins- at least that's what he decided it was, he couldn't tell if it was remaining anger or something due to fear. When they showed up at the familiar ware house Roxas followed them, till Saïx turned around and pinned Roxas to the closed front door. "You make your run and then you get your ass back here."
The man handed Saïx the bag and he shoved it into Roxas' chest, the blond could already tell he was in deep shit. He did as he was told though and made it there with minutes to spare, the bag wasn't his but it looked just like his own. And slowly he headed back to the ware house, knowing he was going to be in pain at some point when he returned, but the silence was unnerving.
Saïx sat on the couch, waiting for the blond to return, he hated that the boy had ignored him- it hurt his pride, his reputation, and maybe even his heart. He wanted the boy to hurry up and learn that he needed to listen because Saïx really didn't like hurting him. The blue haired man wanted the training to be over, he wanted the real part of it all to start and he wanted it all to start being set in motion- he didn't want to wait any longer.
Forcing his love upon the boy he decided wasn't a fair punishment, he realized he'd have to punish Roxas like the rest of the runners and till the blond could listen he would have to withhold. Mostly because he didn't want Roxas to take his love negatively. And then he heard the door open and instead of the blond handing him his money like he normally did the blond threw the bag at the him so it landed at his feet, "There you go," he said before turning around.
"Not so fast," Saïx knew that Roxas was aware of his situation; he also knew that's why Roxas was in such a hurry to get out of there. Saïx twitched his head as a nod and the two men from the couch moved towards Roxas.
"What the hell are you doing?" he asked when the grabbed his arms and pinned them behind his back. He thrashed his shoulders around and even tried to drop his weight but they didn't let go.
"I texted you," Saïx stood in front of Roxas, wrapping a bloody white cloth around his knuckles, "And I called you… what did I tell you about ignoring me?" Roxas' eyes widened a bit but he said nothing. "When are you going to listen and do what you're told?"
"When I give a damn," isn't what Roxas should have said, but it's what left his lips. Saïx looked down for a second as he walked closer and then suddenly Roxas' vision turned white before blacking to be spotted, all the air leaving him as his body curled around the fist that was currently resting against his diaphragm. His body wouldn't pull air in, even though his fist was now being drawn back to strike again, it was like his body forgot how to breathe.
Another hard hit landed on his stomach, the pain going all the way to his spine as he curled yet again around the fist and a silent cry passed his lips as his eyes bugged- feeling like they were going to pop out of his head. Still Roxas had no air, and before he could even take a second to register the pressurizing pain the fist was gone and returned to hit across his face. The pressure exploding in his cheek bone and splitting the skin there, his whole body shifting to absorb the punch he didn't know was going to be delivered.
Maybe it was a good thing they were both still holding him because if they weren't Roxas would have collapsed, he would have crashed into the ground and not moved till he remembered how to breathe. He couldn't even feel the ache in his lungs because everything hurt far worse. And then a hand pinched his cheeks again, "When I tell you to do something, you better do it."
Saïx said calmly in his face, a little out of breath from his punches, the boy's mouth oozed blood but most of it went on the white fabric- which was only in place to save Saïx' knuckles, "Breathe." He said calmly when he noticed Roxas still wasn't, he reached for the blond- which caused him to gasp.
Slowly he closed his hand around the collar of the boy's shirt and the other two let go, Roxas tried to stand on his own but he was unable to completely, but at least his breathing had returned. "Go home," Saïx began telling him, "Go to bed, and be here tomorrow." As he let go he pushed Roxas back against the wall- which was much nicer than just letting Roxas crash to the ground.
"Go home," he repeated, walking away as Roxas tried not to slump to the ground. Saïx had the fabric off his knuckles by the time he got back to the couch, Roxas forced himself to his feet and glared at the door as he walked towards it. He put on his best act because honestly he hated showing anyone, especially Saïx, that he was weak, slamming the metal door behind him he waited to see if someone was going to run out to yell at him again, but no one did so he smirked and started to walk.
He wondered what Axel was doing, and once the redhead crossed his mind Roxas slowed his pace. Roxas could already tell Axel was pissed at him beyond belief and if the past said anything about the redhead then Roxas wouldn't be seeing Axel for a few days. But it wasn't like Roxas cared- at least that's what he told himself- the redhead could do what he wanted, Roxas was fine going back to the way his life was. But of course the blond wasn't, he hated his old life and he knew now that he was going back to it he was going to hate it even more.
As the blond limped to Cloud's he wondered if Axel would drop off the face of the earth again, or if he'd come back after a few days like he did before. Roxas decided that it didn't matter what Axel did, it would be best for both of them if they went their separate ways, it had to be. Because when Roxas was around him it was like everything was open and new once again but that just gave Roxas more to lose and when it all slipped from him it was like he sank deeper.
There was no reason to try it seemed, Roxas was stuck in a life he hated but the only way to not break down was to build up walls and those walls kept him stuck in the life.
Slowly Roxas entered his house, not at all caring about if his father was there or if Cloud was passed out on the floor. Locking himself in his room he collapsed against his door, his jaw ached and his stomach had its own dull pain still there, he made his way over to his bed and laid down in a huff, he was going to lift his shirt and see what his stomach looked like but he realized sleep sounded much more important.
It was like a depression was over taking him and Roxas didn't care to fight it, it was always just so much easier to just watch.
After Roxas had left Axel to go off with the blue haired man- Axel was everything but happy. He slammed his car door before speeding off, he went to his house and threw his keys on the counter. His heart thumped against his chest as he sat on the end of his bed, he'd tried to help the blond- and he did a few times- but then it was like everything just came back to bite him. Grabbing his keys he left, slowly walking around till he crossed a bar hours later- one he hadn't been in before. Sitting in a booth Axel thought.
Of course he wanted to drink, drinking was his way of dealing with his emotions but for some reason he stopped- he stopped because he knew Roxas didn't approve but that was why he was confused. He'd lit a cigarette right in front of the blond because he knew Roxas hated smoking, yet he was sitting alone in a bar and didn't want to because it would upset the kid? He ordered a shot but thought before downing it.
Roxas yelled at him because he yelled first, and Axel still wasn't completely sure why what he said upset him. It was true- they weren't dating and they weren't really even friends, they hadn't known each other for very long at the same time. Yet Axel knew he was trying- both him and Roxas were trying to get over their past and Roxas was the little extra shove he needed to get over himself- and he knew he could be what helped Roxas yet all they did was bump heads.
Fuck you- who the hell are you to talk to me about feelings? I've shown more than you even fucking got!... Why the hell would you say that stupid? He questioned himself, he knew the blond was trying, he could tell when they were at his house and yet he spit back everything in the blond's face pretty much. Real helpful…
Pushing the drink away from him he stared at the table, he couldn't believe he'd said that to the boy, and the way his mouth hung open as he remained silent wouldn't leave Axel. Roxas' eyes flashed his hurt for only a second before the blond backed up and he wore that mask again, Axel watched it all and still just let Roxas walk away. But even though he knew what he said was stupid he was still mad at Roxas.
He didn't understand why the blond would ditch him to hang out with the blue haired man. He thought he made it clear that he cared about Roxas and then the kid just held him below the stranger? Like the other guy was way more important, because not only did Roxas not give Axel his number, but the blond also dropped everything after the little chat they had. It pissed Axel off and it was the only way he could justify what he'd said- but even if he was still pissed he hated what he said back.
Roxas' stuff was still at his place… he was pissed at the blond, that was well known- but he didn't think he was going to just push Roxas out of his life, even when they were fighting all Axel could think about was the boy. He understood that it was just them being headstrong that was causing all the fighting, Roxas couldn't fight when his walls were down and Axel saw that when Sephiroth came around. It was all just Roxas' held up mind that was getting him into fights and arguments, and Axel wasn't helping in the least.
If anything he contributed to fueling the angry boy. He stood up and left the bar, walking back to his place. Axel decided he'd give Roxas till Monday to come back around, if he hadn't by that morning then he'd go and meet the blond before he went to school. The redhead didn't like having to swallow his pride but he knew he'd have to because Roxas most likely wasn't going to either, and with both of their state of minds Roxas was in a much more headstrong state.
Roxas stayed in bed, till his phone began buzzing, he went to look at it only to see that it wasn't a text message- someone was calling him. He held it to his ear but said nothing, "Roxas, come over," Saïx said simply before hanging up. He dropped his phone back onto the bed and rolled over, groaning in pain- injuries always hurt worse the next day. With the light from the sun he pulled his shirt up and looked at his stomach, seeing the dark purple and blue bruises on his stomach, between his ribs.
Once he was in the bathroom he saw the gash on his cheek and the little amount of blood that had oozed from it, he licked around the inside of his mouth to taste metal. Spitting in the sink he watched the pinkish substance slowly drip to the drain. Quickly he washed out his mouth, grimacing as the water was swooshed into the holes in his cheek created by his teeth. Looking into the mirror a little long Roxas stared at his wounds like he was a foreign being, the bruise on his face was clearing up but the gash was shadowed by its own.
His raccoon eyes only made him look sickly and way too skinny. Cradling his stomach he walked to the ware house, his bag and half of his belongings still at Axel's but he was pretty sure Saïx could assume that. Once he opened the back door he shoved his hands in his pockets and waited for Saïx to hand him the drugs, he took it without a word and left, not even glancing for a second at the blue haired man. He could hear a snicker from Saïx but didn't bother to respond.
Roxas had all the addresses remembered already- which he was supposed to- so he waited in the usual spot and took the money and gave the drugs. Nodding his head as he spun and left, making his way back to Saïx' place to give him the money and get back to his bed and his depression.
Dropping the bag at Saïx' feet he turned and left, "Roxas!" Saïx barked.
"What?" the blond turned and looked at the man, Saïx patted the spot next to him.
"Take a seat," he said simply.
"I think I'll pass." Turning to leave Roxas was stopped when yet again Saïx shouted his name. "What?" he turned and looked at the man, "I did what you 'told' me, so I'm going to go back to what I was doing now."
Saïx didn't respond to his words, "Come over here," he waved and slowly Roxas rolled his eyes and moved to be standing next to the man. His hand closed around his wrist and yanked the boy down so they were only inches apart. "I told you to take a seat."
The front of Roxas' hoodie was grabbed and he was yanked and pulled down to sit next to the blue haired man. He grumbled and sat back, leaning against the back and the arm rest, his hands in his hoodie pockets as he looked everywhere but at the three other people in the room. Saïx didn't bother to look at him till he asked a question and Roxas didn't respond.
"Roxas!" he said loudly, snapping the blond's attention.
"What?" his voice was just as loud.
"Arm," Saïx said, holding his hand out and all Roxas could do was stare at the man's palm before looking back up at his scarred face.
"Um, no." he said plainly, looking back over to the dark corner that had held his interest. But Saïx continued to stare at Roxas before slowly grabbing his arm and pulling him towards himself. Roxas' eyes widened and he tried to pull away but he found that he couldn't.
"Arm, now." Saïx repeated in Roxas' face.
"Why?" he threw back.
"I think it's pretty obvious why," Roxas looked over to see the familiar syringes and objects.
"Yeah… I'll pass." He tried to pull his hand out of the man's grasp but yet again he was denied.
"You don't really have a choice."
"Do you do this for everyone? Offer up free drugs?" the blond shot back. Watching as Saïx smirked and looked at the other two before looking back at Roxas.
"Only you," he paused, "Hoodie, off," he began to let go of Roxas but he tried to move, so Saïx grabbed him and dragged him back to the couch, pinning Roxas against the seat and arm rest. Having the man between his legs and on top of him like Saïx was- was sending Roxas into a panic attack. His breathing picked up, his body felt like he was having a heat flash- his skin felt instantly a hundred degrees hotter, his hands were shaking and becoming sweaty like the rest of him. Moving his feet he realized he had to get out, he had to get away he couldn't take it the paranoia was setting in and he felt like he was about to jitter into a mess of molecules.
Saïx sat up and Roxas took the chance to as well, but he was unable to stand up and make a run for the door because Saïx turned back and grabbed hold of his wrist. "Hoodie off," he said again as Roxas could see the chunk of heroin being heated. When Saïx turned back to see Roxas still unmoving he hissed again, "You've no choice," and Roxas was forced to take it off.
He had a reason why he was wasting his drugs on the blond, but he wasn't going to tell Roxas that. Saïx had a fear growing in him, one that was telling him Roxas was going to rat on him the first chance he got. If Saïx was going to get caught then he was sure he was going to bring the blond down with him. The others at first didn't understand but Saïx made it clear to all of them, with the drugs in Roxas' system then Roxas couldn't rat on any of them and they were all aware how much Roxas didn't want to be there.
Roxas was fidgeting as Saïx tied the rubber piece around his arm, pinching his skin in the process- and Roxas realized just how much he didn't want to be there. He hated drugs, he hated how they affected people and how they changed them, he didn't want it so at the last possible second he yanked his arm away. Hoping to use the surprise as a way to get away but Saïx pushed the plunger a bit anyway and Roxas yelped as the needle was in his arm but not his vein.
A burning sensation hit the inside of his arm, he jumped away, the needle was out of his arm but it felt like someone had dumped acid on the inside of his arm and it was eating at him. His face was pinched by Saïx and the man leaned close, "Don't move," he hissed before grabbed Roxas' arm and sticking the needle back in, Roxas' panic attack only mixed with the burning and made him antsy. The 'warmth' spread in a thin line through him and then it was like he was thrown back.
His tunnel vision wasn't as bad as it normally was, yet everything was still distant. Saïx grabbed his shoulder and sat him up before turning and going back to what he was doing- not that Roxas could really piece together anything. All the feelings clouding his mind slipped from him but that itching was still there.
He hadn't cut recently, the only proof was the small lined and dotted scabs on his forearms, but with his hoodie off he began to pick at the scabs. But they itched, so much; he placed his nub nails on the scabs and continued to scratch at them, doing so over and over again. Roxas was growing something like a tolerance to the drugs so he wasn't as out of it as much as he was his first time, but he still couldn't make sense of the pain he was inflicting on himself.
Quickly and harshly he ripped his nails across his arm, the skin turning white and balling up in little loose strips while the skin underneath turned pink and small red spots showed through.
"Saïx," someone said, but Roxas couldn't see them pointing at him so he ignored them and began lifting his hand to do it again. Saïx quickly grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away from him.
"Don't do that," he told Roxas flatly.
"Don't tell me what to do," he grunted, leaning forward and resting his cheeks against his knees as he stared at the floor. Saïx let go of his hand and Roxas just let it drop, his head felt like it was swaying even though he knew he wasn't moving at all.
He stayed like that till the drug began to wear off, than he sat up and grabbed his hoodie, not even putting it on as he walked out the door. Once he was outside he slipped into it- the torn skin on his arm reminded him of his stupidity but it was too late to fix it so he walked all the way back to his room and crashed on his bed. Cheek and stomach hurting while his arm stung and his stomach churned, it was easy to say he encouraged sleep.
And then the next day came, and it all repeated for Roxas, except this time he knew not to move and he left as soon as he could- which still took a little while. But he was happy. Because that was the last day he'd have to see Saïx till the next Saturday, now all Roxas had to do was be there at the meeting place at the right time on the right day and collect the money, give back the right amount of poison, and be on his way. But when he smirked at the mention of it Saïx only smiled back.
That was when he gave Roxas the drugs again and Roxas realized Saïx was in the process of getting him addicted, and Roxas really didn't want that. But he held his tongue and proceeded to leave as soon as possible. Once he got back to his room, with his bag full of drugs he hid the baggies under his bed- with all the money he still had from the stranger in the alley way, and collapsed on the mattress.
He felt like shit, and his depression hadn't gone anywhere either and that just sunk the blond into an even quieter stupor. Turning on his music he laid down on his floor before falling back asleep, his body was going to kill him if he didn't start treating it properly but it's not like Roxas could bring himself to care. Axel was still on his mind, the least he could do was sleep through his minds obsession.
Axel was almost like wise- except rather than sleeping all the time he couldn't find it in him to sleep because he was busy thinking about the blond. It was Sunday night, he decided to wait till the morning and confront the blond, he didn't want to leave things as they were- he just didn't want to swallow his pride to fix it.
And once morning rolled around Axel quickly got out of bed, took a shower, and drove to the blond's, arriving a few minutes early. Watching the door he waited till Roxas came out to get out of the car, but he saw no blond. Not even when the yellow bus pulled up and then pulled away, "What the hell…" Fear got the best of Axel and he jogged up to the blond's door.
Sephiroth easily could've had his hands on Roxas for all Axel knew, the blue haired man could've killed him- Roxas could've killed himself. There was so many reason Roxas had that could prevent him from missing school- but Axel could think of none pleasant.
He knocked but didn't wait for a response; he quickly pushed open the door and looked all around the house on his way to the boy's room. "Roxas?" he called, trying to open the blond's door but it didn't budge. "Roxas," he called again, shaking the doorknob and pushing against the door but it wasn't till a few seconds later that his door was opened. Axel's eyes were wide as he took in the blond's face, the gash on his cheek and the hollow bags under his eyes- it was like Roxas hadn't slept or ate since he last saw him.
"Roxas?" he asked gently, Roxas just stared at him for a second, till Axel moved closer like he wanted to get inside the blond's room. Roxas backed up and returned to his spot on the floor.
He watched Axel, who expected him to give a reply, but Roxas had nothing to say. "How long have you been in here?" the redhead asked.
"Why does it matter?" the younger replied, and it flicked a switch in Axel.
"Why the hell wouldn't your well-being matter to me?" his voice was much louder than it needed to be but all his emotions were on high once he saw Roxas again.
Roxas looked up at the man, "Oh I don't know- why care for anything that apparently can't care back." Of course Roxas wasn't going to live down what Axel had shouted at him.
Gritting his teeth Axel shouted back, "Sorry- I was pissed off okay!" it was like their argument had just carried over to another day, and Axel should've learned how to handle Roxas it wasn't their first argument- after all. But instead Axel did the opposite of what he knew he should and as consequence the whole thing just got worse.
"Why're you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong- all you did was point out the fact that I don't have feelings like I'm some broken toy!" he stood up, "You know, if all you want to do is scream at me then you don't have to act nice. I get enough of that from Cloud- you wanna shout my head off?" He raised an eyebrow, "Then go ahead, you wanna fucking beat the shit out of me? Might as well, but don't fucking try to be all nice to me and shit. Because you know what- I really can't handle the fake ass bullshit!"
Axel was fuming.
"Fake ass bullshit? I decide to waste my time on you and it's considered 'Fake ass bullshit'?" he stared at Roxas for a second before holding his hands out, yelling as he walked backwards out the door. "Fine, I'll fucking leave- and I'll leave you alone to rot in this hell hole." He slammed Roxas' door shut behind him, followed by the front door. He even slammed his car door before slamming on the gas.
Roxas ran straight to his bathroom, throwing the door shut behind him, as his eyes began to burn. Why would you say any of that?
He'd been waiting for Axel to come back around- but apparently it was only so he could push the man away again. He wanted Axel around, he almost felt better just by seeing the redhead but then he just had to be a brat and scream at him, he didn't understand how he kept fucking everything up. Pushing his sleeves up he picked at the scabs on his arm, scratching them and peeling them away- he had two large half inch wide scabs that traveled down his arm from where he clawed himself. He knew they would scar. Without a razor he was stuck picking and peeling at old wounds.
Axel sped all the way to the stop sign, about to speed through it till he saw the tracker trailer speed through. Slamming on his brakes he waited till the truck passed, looking out his window before smacking his hand on his steering wheel. "You're so fucking stupid Ax," he told himself.
He'd waited all that time, swallowed his pride, just to talk to Roxas and when he was given the chance he couldn't grow up? He couldn't be the mature one but instead contribute to the argument? Reversing a bit he pulled over to the curb and parked it, taking his keys with him as he stormed back to Roxas' house. He was going to tell Roxas just what he was thinking- how much the boy was on his mind- and Roxas was going to sit there and hear it all.
But as he started walking back to the house he noticed a familiar car driving towards him, he quickly hid behind a car in a stranger's driveway and watched as the car parked outside Roxas' house. And out climbed the silver haired man.
"What the hell does he want?" he mumbled to himself, watching as Sephiroth stomped into Roxas' house, there was no way he was letting Sephiroth kidnap Roxas, especially before he got a chance to tell the blond just what was on his mind… at least he hoped he would have the chance.
Have a long but not so long chapter :3
The afternoon after I uploaded the last chapter I got my letter from the school in the mail- turns out my school isn't starting till the 5, which is Thursday. Yet my lil bros still starts the 4 xD But yeah, I don't know why yet. This year we only have 6 classes though :o last year we had 7, and the year before that 9... but before Family group (which is the last half hour Tuesdays and Thursdays (Theres no grade for it)) we have an hour and a half of Seminar... I'm not all that bright so I have little to no idea what that means for us... But yeah, another day of summer to type and shizz...
And oh yeah- dun-dun-dunnnnnn... Roxy's dad is all up in his house.
I saw a post on Facebook- yeah, I sometimes go on that (its usually just to look at funny pics though) and I saw this specific post that had me laughing and that I found relatable xD
It said: I am going to confiscate the characters from the writers and be like, "You can have these back when you learn to be kind to them," and just oh my jesus I laughed. I understand these aren't my characters but I am SUCH A BITCH TO THEM! And just i geeked for a few minutes xD
But uh yeahh... this is chapter 14...
Oh! And uh, the whole thing with Roxy's arm... yeahhhhh I kinda did that about a year and a half ago and I still have the two scars on my arm- but I wasn't tripping on heroin. It seems a little unbelievable that scratches can scar like that but that shit really happens, it looks like someone carved out the skin- I mean, it's not that bad now, it's going away to be pretty even and just color different but yeah... that shit happens... That being said, drug use is bad and just no... just walk away- say no man!
I'm a little... fhodajvjoej...
I was really depressed for the past two days but I don't know, I'm all... not... now... maybe I just needed to vent or some shit... Maybe I just needed to upload another chapter... But I learned a new song on keyboard! Not that you really give a fuck but I learned Glad You Came and Mad World on it and... yeah... just... felt like sharing I guess...
Thanks for all the reviews:DD They are ever appreciated. Same goes for Follows and Favs.
Anyway- Uploaded: August 21, 2013