13

One thing that could never be said about Arthur Pendragon was that he didn't keep his Word. Merlin had woken up in the following morning to a somewhat cheerful email from the prince saying that he had requested for CCTV recordings of that fateful day so they could find out where Morgana had been. Clearly, he also wasn't one for postponing things.

Somehow, Arthur's eagerness to help gave Merlin a new strength to face everything – it gave him something to focus on, something that he wanted to do, not a chore. He could deal with dirty laundry and shopping much better when he knew he had something to wait for – even if it was a night spent drowned in his wife's secrets, it was something he was doing for himself.

Every evening Arthur would call to have a word or two with Enmyria, and afterwards he'd speak to Merlin – somehow, he had expected him to ask someone, maybe Leon, to go over the tapes; but the prince confessed that it made him relax, somewhat, watching the images himself, turning time against its natural frame, everything going backwards. Slowly, the names of streets and turns were coming up, marking the last bits of earth that Morgana had touched.

It was a late Wednesday, almost a fortnight after their previous meeting that Merlin heard the doorbell ringing only to find himself face to face with the prince. Arthur was wearing a hoodie, which made him look much more conspicuous in such a warm spring night, and the smile upon his face was reminiscent of a teen sneaking out of the house past curfew. Leon wasn't far behind, looking decidedly amused by the whole thing as he closed the car's window.

"I think I have it" Arthur said before Merlin could even recover enough to greet him.

"What?" he asked, confused and bewildered.

"Let me in" insisted Arthur, and Merlin stepped back, allowing the man to come inside before closing the door softly.

"It's almost one in the morning" Merlin was still shocked at the visit. "Em is asleep."

Arthur nodded.

"And so she should, she has to be up early to get to school."

Merlin considered pointing out that he, too, had to be up early to get all the children there, but decided against it. Whatever reason had brought Arthur in the middle of the night seemed to have made him too excited to notice simple things like sleep time.

"So, what do you think you have?" Merlin asked while Arthur walked around, eyeing the different rooms with clear curiosity.

"The recording that shows where Morgana was" he said, shaking a pendrive in his hands. "Where is your computer?"

"Upstairs" Merlin stammered, a bit annoyed at the intrusion, "in my bedroom."

"Lead the way" Arthur said, gesturing towards the stairs, and Merlin just took a deep breath, climbing up the steps, being quickly followed by the other man. He felt overtly conscious about himself, his looks and his house – the way his bed was unmade and piles of journals were spread through his double bed, next to his computer.

Arthur sat, making himself at home at once and picking up the laptop; Merlin was only glad that he had been just checking Facebook and not looking for porn but Arthur didn't seem to even consider that option as he gladly put his pendrive in the computer. Probably he never had thought of even watching porn online – it would be beneath him.

"Sit down" Arthur ordered, petting the space in bed next to him. "I'll show you."

It would be useless to point out how too familiar and awkward was that they were together half-sitting half-laying on a bed, so he just tried to act as if it was nothing out of the ordinary. Soon enough he had shown Merlin a recording of Morgana parking the Fireblade and walking inside a bookshop. The image stood still for a long while, and Arthur pulled the cursor in order to get further on faster, until they saw Morgana storm out of the place and get on her bike, leaving towards her fate. The video ended as she got in the street, and Arthur let out a whoop.

"See? I found it. She was there for over an hour, and before that she had been coming from school. That's where she went that day. I was worried that she had been going somewhere outside out regular grid, but it wasn't so."

Arthur was beaming as if he had found the cure for cancer, and Merlin felt his previous annoyance melting under his happy gaze.

"Good. It's a shame we can't see the name of the place – but that's what Street View is for. Where is it?"

"Greenfield Road" Arthur replied as Merlin pulled the computer to his lap and typed the name. He pointed in the map which part of the street it the camera was in. Soon they found the said shop, the letters shining in an antique silver font.

"The Dark Tower?" Arthur asked, frowning. "That's an ominous name."

"We have a penchant for drama, I guess" Merlin replied, googling the shop's name and entering the website.

"We?" Arthur asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Magical kin" Merlin replied, his voice low and secretive. "It's a safe house – a place where magical can seek shelter, as well as rare books and stuff like that."

"In the middle of London?" questioned Arthur, amazed. "Like a real-life Leaky Cauldron?"

Merlin couldn't help but laugh.

"There are a few places like this around London" he confided, suddenly sure that he could trust Arthur with the full details. "But I would never have guessed that you read Harry Potter – your father tried and banished it a dozen times!"

Arthur just shrugged, still smiling.

"I'm not my father" he reminded Merlin once again. "I stand by him because I must, that doesn't mean I always agree – and I have two children, Harry Potter is a must read for children."

"Oooh, a rebel!" teased Merlin, skimming through the information on the site. "Not only you read it, but so did your children."

"My father rules the country, but in my house, I am the one who rules how things must be" Arthur's voice was firm, and Merlin turned to face him, surprised by the strength in his words. "And that's how you know that Em will be safe – and you, and the children as well. Your secret is safe with me. Your lives are safe with me – I'll never betray any of you."

Merlin felt his throat tighten, and for a moment he could do nothing but stare at Arthur's blue eyes and the powerful loyalty in them. He wasn't like Uther at all – he wasn't like anyone else he had ever met.

"We should go there tomorrow" Arthur said, breaking the eye contact and turning towards the screen, clearly unable to face the moment. "So we'd find out more about it."

"Are you certified insane?" blurted out Merlin. "You? Coming out to the shop? Now, apart from the possible media circus about you visiting anywhere unexpected, considering your father's standing that's a very good way for them not to help us."

Arthur shrugged.

"Oh, I don't know – you have secret Diagon Alleys and such, would it be asking for much for polyjuice potion to be real as well?"

"A bit too much, yes" Merlin smiled. "We can do some glamour charms, but nothing like Rowling's magic."

"It may be enough" Arthur said, and he seemed to be pleading to be allowed to go.

"It may not be safe" Merlin counteracted. "I'll go by myself."

"Fine" agreed Arthur, surly. "But can I have you bugged? So I'll be nearby and be able to give you instructions and… Like Ethan Hunt?"

"You've watched too many spy movies" Merlin replied, shaking his head. "Who would have imagined?!"

Arthur laughed, and so did Merlin, feeling light for the first time in weeks.

"But can I?" he insisted, and Merlin just nodded.

"As you wish, your highness." He beamed, and Arthur smiled, and for a moment it was enough to share the contentment that he felt right there.

"Ok, so, I should probably go" Arthur finally said, blushing a bit. It made Merlin more than a little confused, but the prince was nothing if not confusing. They were downstairs before he spoke again. "I'll call you in the morning, so we can go there during lunch break."

"Don't you have things to do?" Merlin was honestly curious.

"As it happens, no, I don't" Arthur shrugged. "So, tomorrow? At lunch time?"

"It's a date" agreed Merlin, and Arthur visibly flinched, as he felt his own cheeks burning of embarrassment when he realized what he had said. "No, no! Not a date. Sorry. I mean…"

"I know what you mean" the prince agreed. "I'll call you."

"Sure. I'll talk to you tomorrow" Merlin said, opening the door.

"Cheers" said Arthur, nodding awkwardly and leaving in a manner completely unlike the man that had barged inside his house and thrown himself upon his bed with no worries, ready to help him to find more about his wife's secrets.

Still he had very little idea about what she had been doing there, apart from having something to do with a call from someone identified only as N. L. in her journal entries. One thing was quite clear from his readings, though: it hadn't been some last minute thing, they had indeed scheduled it beforehand. The thought made him sick in the stomach. It didn't really matter if N. L. was a man or a woman, if it had been a date or just a meeting between friends – it made very little difference. It had been a betrayal all the same. They had spent a whole life together, but now it seemed that it had been two lives that barely touched.

As soon as Merlin met Arthur on the following day, two things became crystal clear to him – the first one was that Arthur was overtly invested on spy movies from the '90's, the second was that he was overtly invested in helping him finding out what Morgana had been doing. It was a bit strange – but when he tried to voice this thought as politely as possible, Arthur dismissed it quickly, saying that his life lacked mystery and emotion and wasn't Merlin glad that he was using him to get his fix instead of watching Mission: Impossible for the hundredth time?

There was, really, no arguing against such logic.

Still, it felt weird to come inside knowing that Arthur could hear everything he would say, or imagining that he would whisper on his ear at any given point although he was far away (not that he had ever come close to whispering on Merlin's actual ear, but that was path that led only to useless and inappropriate thoughts). It felt a bit like betrayal, to have his own kind watched from afar.

He trusted Arthur with his life, even more than that, he had trusted the safety of his children to his loyalty, to the commitment he had made to keep their secret, but it didn't seem fair to force into others to trust him as he did, specially not knowing what he knew. He could have refused to take the microphone with him, but it was as if he could deny the prince nothing.

There had been a few changes in the front of the shop since the image had been taken for Google Maps. He could see that they had a new scheme of colours in the forefront, but the signboard looked much the same, as did the different antique books on display. He walked in, and it was impossible to mistake the distinct feeling of soothing magic that permeated the place, even if the whole decor was reminiscent of the dark ages and all its horrors.

There were a couple of costumers inside – a young woman, probably in her late teens or early twenties her was browsing through some volumes on Scottish History while a man some ten years older than Merlin was sitting comfortably in one corner going through a pile of poetry books. Neither had any trace of magic around them. On the other hand, it seemed to shine out of the soft, older lady that set by the counter.

"How can I help you, dear?" she asked, smiling. She had a trusting face, open and honest. There was something incredibly maternal about her, and it made Merlin feel immediately at home.

"I was looking for someone" he said, making a small gesture with his hand – the one gesture all magical people learned as soon as they could be trusted with the secret.

"Of course you are" she agreed, answering the gesture. "Who is it?"

"My wife – my late wife –" he corrected himself, with a small lump on his throat "was here just before she died. She spent almost two hours around before leaving. It's been a while – it was on January, 28th."

"I'm so sorry for your loss" she said, softly, grabbing his hand. Merlin could only nod. "And I'm sorry, dear, but I can't help you – I was out during January, in my daughter's house. Perhaps you'd like to ask the cafe boy?"

"Is it a good idea?" he asked her, knowing that she would understand the undertone in his question perfectly.

"It's perfectly safe" she replied with a small smile. "He might help you to put all this to rest – come, it's over here."

The old woman led him to the cafe, in the back of the building. It was empty at that point of the day; very few people were scattered around the space, all of them seeming comfortable and totally immerse in their own business. The "cafe boy" turned out to be a college student, clearly with some magical gifts of his own. Unlike the woman, he didn't inspire your immediate trust, but looked rather like a weasel. The tag in his clothes identified him as 'Cedric'.

"Hello" said Merlin, trying to overcome his own anxiousness.

"Hello" he replied, deferentially.

"The lady said that you could help me" Merlin said, and the man raised his eyebrow for a moment.

"The lady?" he asked, confused. "Oh, you mean Finna!"

Merlin could do nothing but nod in agreement. It must be.

"Well, if you want coffee, food or refreshments, I'm your man" he said, with a small smile. "Now, for the rest..." he looked around before leaning towards Merlin and saying. "It's not always safe to be the one with information, is it?"

"I don't trust him" Arthur's voice rang deep in his ear. It took all Merlin's strength not to jump.

"I see" Merlin said, for the benefit of both man. "Well, I assure you, your secrets are safe with me."

Cedric gave him an unpleasant smirk.

"I appreciate your words" he replied, "but a man needs to have his assurances..."

It was more than clear that he was expecting to get money for whatever information he had, but only a fool would pay in advance. And, deep down, he agreed with Arthur: he didn't trust the man.

"How rude of me" he said, swiftly, with a big smile. "I didn't introduce myself – I'm Merlin Emrys."

The secret, hidden, dark part of him was elated to see the man's shudder and his immediate deference – the way he unmistakably bowed to him. Merlin always hated to be notorious, he hated to carry the name of the family about whom legends were made, the secret name for power all through the magical community. The Emrys gift was almost mythological, and it gave him measure of respect that he wasn't comfortable with – mostly because he had never felt he deserved it.

"Such an honor" Cedric's whole demeanour changed, going from opportunistic to unctuous in a second. "Of course I will help – no one can be safer than in your hands, milord."

"Milord?" echoed Arthur, confused. "What the...?"

"There's no need for such terms" Merlin replied, stiffly. "I came to ask you about someone – a woman – I'm not sure if you've seen her, but it is of utmost importance that you tell me all you know. She was here for the last time on January, 28th – it was a Monday – she arrived around 11 AM and left a quarter past 1 PM."

"Yes?" said Cedric. "Do you have a picture, or...?"

Merlin fished his phone out of his pocket and selected a whole folder with pictures of Morgana on her own. He handled the phone to Cedric.

"To the left" he said, gesturing the man to move through the images. "I'm not sure if she had come before, and she wouldn't be alone – she was with someone..."

"Yes" agreed the man. "She was with another woman almost as pretty as she was – a bit younger, perhaps? Though... Maybe not. One would think they were sisters – the same dark hair and pale skin – I think the other woman's eyes were blue? They came here a number of times during the winter."

"A number of times?" repeated Merlin, and the man nodded.

"I'm sure of it – they freaked me out. They'd huddle in a corner and whisper for ages – but I don't think I've ever seen either smile. And this other woman – she was a strong one; forceful; untamed."

"So she was a witch?" muttered Merlin, and Cedric nodded franticly.

"I'm sure of it – and I'm not good at this, I'm actually..." he shrugged "I'm a failure as a... Anyway. Both were – both quite strong, but the other woman was... I don't know. Different."

"Any chance you know her name?" he asked, putting his phone back in. "Not the woman I showed you – the other one."

"I think it was Lake" he said, shrugging. "But I'm not really sure. As I said, they whispered – and I would dare to eavesdrop."

Everything about his demeanour said otherwise, and that gave Merlin a good measure of just how much this other woman had scared him – enough for him to keep his distance even though he wanted nothing more than to overhear.

"Thank you" said Merlin, smoothly. "You were most helpful."

"I'm here to serve" replied Cedric, with a fake cheerfully demeanour. "Do not hesitate to drop if you need to!"

"I surely will" Merlin agreed, before bidding him goodbye and leaving, glad that Finna was busy with a costumer – he was in no mood to talk.

Arthur picked up on his mood quickly enough, and he asked no questions save wondering if his name was a big thing among his people, to which Merlin gave nothing up a non-committal nod. They drove away in silence, Leon dropped him by the studio without any further comment – there would be enough time for it later. Not now, not when he had just found out that whatever it was, it had been going on for months without Morgana deeming it worth to share with him.

Whomever this mysterious woman was, she had taken his wife away from him – not because she had died while coming back from a meeting, but because she had led Morgana towards secrets and lies once again, after all the time it had taken him to make her actually trust him, to really be his partner and not just the woman he loved.

At least it gave him some of his inspiration back, if not in the way it used to be. He spread many journals over his bed and took pictures of it, trying to capture on camera Morgana's elegant handwriting, the different bits of her life all together in ink and paper. It made for some beautiful shots. One thing led to the other, and soon he was clicking her belongings, some which were still in the exact place she left them, gathering dust. There were many images of his half-empty life echoing through the lenses of his art – painful, but also liberating. Once they had been captured, he could finally move them and let them breathe the air of a new life, albeit a broken one.

Merlin visited those places too, taking pictures of them – the warm world of spring spreading through the dark cold streets that had seen her for the last time. He wondered what on earth he was to do with all that, but always pushed his doubts away. It was pointless to think about the future, all of this was but a reminder that it might never come.

He wondered when he had stopped being someone Morgana could talk to about anything.

He wondered if he had ever really been such a person or if it had been just wistful thinking.

And then he hit himself, mentally, for doubting everything, only to start over again.

He wished there was someone he could speak to about it – about Morgana, and everything, their live and her secrets, but he surely couldn't speak to Gaius about it. Morgause would understand, but he would never show her any vulnerability, he knew her well enough to know she'd use it to crush him should the opportunity ever arise, not to mention that she never accepted a word to be said against her sister. Gwen and Lance would hear him out, but they, as Will, had been acting as if he was about to break since Morgana's death, and he didn't want to prove them right.

There was no one he could talk to, none of the people that loved him so well could share his doubts – he was alone even surrounded by friends.

But maybe…

Maybe there was someone out there for him to talk to.

Arthur had just managed to get himself out of the shower and into his own clothes when his phone rang. He ran to get it, and felt a fresh wave of shame hit him as he saw it was Enmyria, calling from the secure line he had given her.

"Hey, Em" he said, picking it up. "I'm sorry I didn't call earlier, I was stuck in a meeting and..."

"Father?" her voice was tentative, uncertain.

"What's happened?" Arthur asked, alarmed.

"I never heard you speaking like that before" she replied with a giggle. "So... casual."

"Oh" he said, sitting down on his bed. "You never called before."

"Yeah..." he heard the sound of something falling on the ground in the far end of the line. "I'm about to go to Sara's" she informed him.

"Isn't it late?" he asked, searching for the clock that was almost reaching 10 PM.

"It's Friday" she reminded him with a sigh. "Anyway, it's a slumber party, it's supposed to be late – and I'm not eager to get there too early either, I hate doing manicures – which might as well serve as my round today."

That made him smile – they had a game of their own now, a way to make up for the lost time without rushing too much. Every day they would talk on the phone and apart from trivial stuff, they would always share something about themselves that the other didn't know – a story, a detail, a preference – anything. It was their own thing, and it made him feel more like a proper parent to the girl he had just met, albeit in a strange way.

"I hate shaving, but I look absolutely ridiculous with a beard, so I have to endure it" he replied.

"I feel for you" she said, but she didn't seem to be relaxed. "Listen... That's not the real reason why I called."

"Is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure" she said, her voice sounding a bit off. "Da – I mean, Merlin – isn't... He's not normal."

"Is he ever?" Arthur honestly didn't think so. Em snorted, but her heart clearly wasn't in it. "Why are you saying so?"

"Kara drove the kids to grandparents for the weekend" she explained, clearly moving around the house. "And I was meant to be long gone – and he's... He's drinking by himself."

"I gather that's unusual" Arthur replied, frowning.

"He's downed a whole bottle of scotch since they left" she added. "I don't want to leave him alone like this, but I also don't want to stay. I wanted to call Lance and Gwen, but he didn't let me – he didn't let me call you either, but I don't know what else to do!"

"It's fine. You should go to your party" Arthur soothed her, running his hand through his hair. "I'll talk to him and make sure he's fine, okay?"

"I'll handle it to him and I'll go, yeah?" was her reply. "Thank you, father."

Her voice was indeed caring and softer than usual, she must have been honestly worried – well, Arthur was worried too. It didn't sound like Merlin, drinking alone or while there were kids in the house. He waited patiently while the two of them bickered for a few moments, before Em clearly left the house banging the door and making him flinch even on the other side of the line.

"What?" snapped Merlin.

"Good evening to you too" Arthur answered, even more confused. He hadn't spoken to Merlin in two whole days, not since they had been to The Dark Tower, but he didn't remember doing anything that would make the man speak to him like that.

"Em called you to rattle me" he complained. "You've won her allegiance!"

Arthur chuckled.

"As you always say, it's not a dispute – anyway, she was worried about your sudden drinking habits."

"She should have been out" the man mumbled. "I was sure she was out."

"Well, you were wrong" was the only thing he could say. "Now, care to explain why are you trying to drink yourself to stupor?"

"You don't need to worry" Merlin dismissed his question quickly. "I'm just... I just needed to relax, that's all."

"I don't need to worry" Arthur agreed, taking a leaf of Merlin's own book. "But I do anyway, so, what's up with you?"

"Nothing" Merlin repeated. "I'm fine."

"You didn't let her call anyone..."

"... Because it's nothing to worry about and Gwen is a mother hen!"

"... and that wouldn't bother you if she didn't have reason to worry."

"How do you even know? You don't know me!" Merlin snapped again, and Arthur sighed.

"Because, Merlin, you love Gwen and is always praising her to the skies, that's why" he explained, as if he was talking to a ten-year-old.

"You're a smug git" Merlin answered, with a loud sound that seemed to be his body hitting the mattress.

"Morgana always said so" he agreed, and that made Merlin huff.

"Morgana said a lot of things" he grunted. "Except what the hell she was playing at."

"Whatever do you mean?" Arthur was honestly confused about the whole attitude Merlin was giving.

"Do you ever get the feeling that we didn't know her at all?" Merlin asked, his voice high and agitated.

Arthur, honestly, couldn't imagine that he knew her after sixteen years apart, but he knew better than to remind Merlin that – if the man needed to vent, Arthur would hear.

"She was always saying what we should do, or what we were like, but she seems to have forgotten to say simple things, like hey, I'm having a meeting with a mysterious stranger – how about that?" he snorted. "But, of course not – of course! She was a true modern, independent, strong willed woman – she would never step so low as explaining what she was doing, even if it cost her life!"

"Still, you loved her" Arthur reasoned. "You loved her in spite of it, or because of it – that's not new. She was always like that."

"I know" grunted Merlin, miserably. "It's just... There's so much I don't know! It's like... Half of her life seems to be a mystery wrapped in a riddle."

"Is this a quote?" Arthur asked, idly.

"It's possible" replied Merlin, before starting to rant once again. "I don't know why she was meeting that woman, I don't know why she felt that she had to hide it from me, I don't know why she was so adamant about Em never finding out about you – honestly, she never even mentioned that you were acquainted, let alone friends – let alone lovers..."

"We weren't lovers" objected Arthur, annoyed. It seemed very important to him that Merlin knew the truth of it. "It was just one night, I've told you – I didn't think of her that way, and neither did she."

"Yeah, that doesn't make any sense" Merlin said, with a small hiccup. "If you didn't think of each other that way, it wouldn't have happened."

"We were drunk" justified the prince.

"Being drunk may help to turn you on" the other man conceded. "But you must have thought about it – on some level. I mean, she was gorgeous."

"She was" Arthur agreed, remembering her beautiful face.

"Any hot-blooded male would have wanted her" continued Merlin, and Arthur squirmed. "You can't tell me that you didn't feel lucky."

"I felt... weird" Arthur said, with a shrug that Merlin would never see. "A bit lucky, yes, but mostly it felt unreal. I wouldn't have pictured it – before. I wouldn't have believed it to be possible."

In truth, he had felt amazed and absolutely delighted that he had managed to bed her – not in so much because she was gorgeous but because she was, well, not the sort of person that turned him on.

"Why on Earth not?" Merlin questioned, seemingly annoyed. Arthur heard as he poured more whisky. "You're gorgeous – absolutely hot – women all around must fawn over you, and Morgana was strange, but not blind."

The comment made Arthur feel supremely uncomfortable while he felt in his stomach the sort of rush that comes from adrenaline. His cheeks burned as he pictured Merlin, blushing from the drinks and grinning as he called Arthur hot as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He cleared his throat, trying to push the thoughts away.

"It's just... That was just not how our relationship was like."

"So how did it happen?"

Arthur was unsure if it was a rhetorical question or a real one, but it didn't really matter – not then – his mind was rushing back to that day, and the memories felt so clear, so vivid that he couldn't stop his own words.

"At first, we were in a pub with some of our friends – a number of them. We were regulars, but it was a weekday, and they closed early. We were celebrating – I can't really remember what, but we were all excited, happy, and very drunk but not ready to call it a night. I remember Morgana was all over that place that day – she was hitting on any and everyone, and I..." he sighed. "I must have been quite like that as well – it's the tequila, it makes me loosen up more than a bit" Arthur chuckled. "So we all went back to mine with more booze – I don't know how we started to play truth or dare..."

"Did they dare you to sleep with her?" Merlin seemed amused, and Arthur gasped.

"NO!" he said, forcefully.

"So what does it have to do with anything?" Merlin pressed on, and Arthur was only too ready to talk – to keep on speaking, to keep Merlin laughing.

"At some point, they dared us to make out – well, they dared her to do some lap dance snogging with one of the guys, and she chose me. I guess she thought it would be safe."

"Why would it be safe?"

There was no way Arthur could explain that to Merlin – he couldn't just... Tell. He couldn't talk about it.

"I don't know – it's Morgana. She chose me, and I had lost my shirt on a previous dare, so she came up to me, put my hands on her hips" Arthur heard Merlin taking a sharp intake of breath."And started to run her fingertips through my arms, barely touching me – until they scolded her and ordered her to do it properly, - so she put one leg to each side of me and lowered herself to do the actual lapdance."

"What was she wearing?" Merlin asked, his voice seeming far away, somehow breathless. It made Arthur's gut clench.

"She had a short blue dress on – that spaghetti thing over her shoulders, straps? – And a generous square cut . Oh, and heels – I remember the heels."

"Gruhm" Merlin said, and Arthur heard some ruffling of fabric, clearly Merlin was back to his room. "And you were shirtless? With jeans?"

"Suit pants" corrected Arthur, feeling a renewed rush of adrenaline.

"You posh bastard" Merlin muttered. "And how was it – this lapdance?"

"Do you want me to explain?" Arthur asked, bewildered.

"Tell me every bit of that night" he pleaded, and Arthur couldn't help but complying.

"She lowered herself, straddling me – the skirt of her dress came so high up that there was nothing between us but my pants. Then she ordered them to put on some music, so she could move in sync with it. I recall that as she started, she turned around and winked at the other guys, before pulling my head back through my hair and kissing me – straight on and with lots of tongue, like it was business."

Arthur heard Merlin's loud intake of breath, and he closed his own eyes, summoning back the memories of that night, wishing them to block out the reality of Merlin's heavy breath.

"She danced like that for some seconds – moving her hips in circles, rubbing herself against me – before she stood again, rubbing her body against mine, against my face – my mouth was wet from kissing, but she dried it with her neck and shoulder blades, trusting my face into her low neckline. Then Morgana turned, so she'd face the rest of the group and kept on swaying on my lap, using her hands to make mine move through her body, feeling up her thighs, her hips, her waist, her breasts. She moved them around, and I let her, and she reclined against me, swinging to the music, her hips moving non-stop, pushing my head against her neck, kissing me forcefully – she was giving them a show, not seducing me."

"Weren't you hard?" Merlin asked, his voice trembling.

"Of course – I'm not actually made of ice, you know?"

"I do" Merlin replied, his voice full of something Arthur couldn't quite name. "Did it last long?"

"Some two or three minutes" estimated Arthur. "I was very glad it wasn't longer."

"Too close?" Merlin asked, and Arthur felt his cock twitch to his breathy tone.

"Yeah" agreed Arthur.

"So you two decided to take it further after the dare?"

"Not really" the prince said. "We kept on playing for some minutes more – she'd give me smouldering looks and I had never been so turned on in my life. Everyone was going to stay over, and we were very drunk, so people just started to fall asleep and I... I decided that it would be better for me to take a cold shower."

"Did it help?" he could hear Merlin's heavy breathing, the sounds of fabric being moved and some friction.

"She followed me" Arthur confessed.

"She walked in?" Merlin asked his voice full of merriment. "You left the door open!"

"Yes?"

"So you wanted to be walked in!"

"No!" Arthur replied, outraged at the implications. "I didn't expect anyone to walk in the en suite bathroom!"

"Did I mention that you're a posh bastard?"

"Twice, just in this conversation" the prince could feel a warmth spreading through his chest. "And, for the record, it was a very regular apartment, nothing fancy about it."

"Yeah, yeah, we've already established that you know very little about what 'regular' really means."

"I know an awful lot."

"Keep telling yourself that. It might even become true." Merlin was giggling. "So, she went inside..."

"The point is, she went inside, and I wasn't expecting it and... it just happened."

"She went inside and suddenly you were inside her?" The man was laughing at his own jokes, and Arthur could do barely anything but try and keep it light even if his heart was racing.

"This was a terrible pun – and, not quite like that."

"And it was quite like what?" As Arthur didn't say anything, he nagged him."Don't you want to tell me?"

"Erm... I... It's not... It's just..."

"Tell me what she did to you" he pleaded, and it made Arthur feel incredibly hot. "I can see that she pretty much did everything."

"Are you implying that I can't, you know, take an action?"

"I'm not saying that" Merlin complained, still happy. "I'm saying... Look, I slept with her for twelve years. I know that when she wants – she wants. If you don't... Well, she knew how to make you want it."

"Yeah. Uh..."Arthur stammered. "Yeah, maybe. You're right."

"So, tell me what did she did do you?"

"You're a bit of a masochist, aren't you?" said Arthur, still trying to start a conversation that could only lead to him being forced to acknowledge certain... things Merlin made him dream of when his mind got out of control.

"I married Morgana" was his only reply.

"Fair enough."

Both of them laughed at their own silliness.

"But, that's exactly the point – you married her, you love her. Do you really want to hear about her bedding some other guy?"

"It's not bedding 'some other guy', it's bedding you" Merlin reasoned, giggling. "And you're the freaking Prince of Wales! Yeah, I wanna think about my wife banging the Prince of Wales. Will you share it with me?" after a pause, he continued, his voice going softer. "Was it good?"

"You know Morgana, what do you think?"

"I think she surprised you – I mean, I think you were expecting for surprises, but still she managed to surprise you."

Arthur laughed, really laughed, his heart beating fast, looking for a new way out.

"Did she surprise you the first time you slept with her?"

"Surprised?" Merlin asked. "Not really – more like terrified. I thought she was going to eat me alive – and not in a good way."

Arthur chuckled.

"Yeah, I think I thought the same thing."

"Really?"

"Yeah, yeah. She was all... business, and I couldn't believe it – I was like 'what on earth is going on here?' I thought she was teasing me."

"She was probably teasing you" agreed Merlin.

"Yeah – I think she wanted to see how far it would go."

"And how far did she get?"

"Oh – in for a penny, in for a pound!"

They both laughed at it.

"Maybe that's what she hoped for"

"What? Sleeping with me? Getting Pregnant?"

"No, no, not that part. I don't think she really considered it a possibility – did you?"

"Ah, I wasn't – I didn't have much experience with women before Morgana."

"Oh, with women?" teased Merlin. "What about men?"

"Shut up, Merlin."

He laughed and Arthur felt himself burning with embarrassment, at how close it was from his wishes – trust him to get ridiculously invested in a man he only knew because of how much he liked a woman.

"I was down to my underwear, and she came inside and grabbed my... penis?"

"PENIS?" Merlin yelled, incensed. "Do you even know how to have a dirty talk? Penis! You don't say penis in a situation like this!"

"Why not? It's what it's called" said Arthur, feeling a bit silly.

"No! You say... prick, or cock, or dick or... I don't know! Just don't say 'penis' ever again, unless you are into some biology thing – is this a sex education class? I don't think it is! It's me asking you how you banged my wife. This is about dirty, not about biology."

"Ok, ok" he acceded. "So, she got a hold of my prick though my underwear while I was standing there staring like she had gone crazy."

"Oh my god!" Merlin shrieked, in a fit of laughter.

"What?"

"The way you say it – prick."

"What's wrong with the way I say it now?"

"You're so unbearably posh!"

"Do you think so?" Arthur asked, in his best rich boy voice. "I'm talking dirty with you – on the phone – while you're drunk."

"Yeah, that's just hot."

"Hot?" Wondered Arthur, but the man didn't fall for it.

"So, she picked up your prick" cut Merlin "and then?"

"Then I pulled her for a kiss, I think, not really sure" continued Arthur, it really would be better if them didn't get into that conversation. "I didn't know what else to do. And then we were crazily snogging and she was pulling me back to the bedroom – the door unlocked."

"The door was unlocked?"

"All along, yeah"

"Kinky" said Merlin, approvingly, and it made Arthur feel like it wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"We moved back to the bedroom, and she tumbled on to bed, and she was laughing and laughing and laughing – I remember her giggling about it more than anything else about that night. It was... contagious."

"Yeah, and beautiful" sighed Merlin, longing.

"Yes" agreed Arthur, the image seared into his eyelids. "I don't think I have ever seen her more beautiful."

"You had never seen her in your bed."

"That too – but that's not the point – or maybe that's part of the point. It doesn't really matter."

"Okay, so, what did you do? What did she do?"

"I was standing there, looking around, wondering what was really going on and she was like... 'I'm going to make you remember that', and..." Arthur's voice faded, unsure of how to go on.

"Did she get your underwear down?"

"Yes"

"With her teeth?"

"How do you know?"

"Twelve years" Merlin reminded him. "And after that?"

"Well... After that..." it felt like crossing a line that he wasn't sure he could cross something that he could never take back.

"She sucked you" completed Merlin, breathless, and combined with his words it made Arthur feel rock hard. "You can say that she did."

"She did" Arthur agreed, still reticent.

"And how did she do it?"

"You ask a lot of questions"

"I am a very curious man" said Merlin, as a matter-of-factly. "Do you remember it? That night? Every detail?"

"Yes" said Arthur, cautiously. "I remember it very well."

"Tell me how she sucked you" asked the man with a small sigh. Arthur had to fight against the urge of taking his cock in his hand, Merlin's voice did things to him that he had never believed possible. He had always managed to keep calm, to keep control, to suppress those inappropriate feelings, but it seemed that he was spiralling out of control with each breath he heard. "Tell me how she used her tongue, her lips – how she drove you crazy. Tell me about her hands, Arthur."

It was as if he was back in that day, completely out of control as he had been then, but there was no buzz of alcohol to dull his senses, just the sheer excitement brought by Merlin's voice on the other side of the line – he couldn't think about the consequences, about what it meant, he could only comply to his requests.

"She licked me first – around the head, and the length, before putting me in her mouth" he said, his own voice soft. Merlin let out a whimpering sound, and Arthur felt his pulse racing, his hands trembling, and he knew that even the few details he couldn't remember he would make up for Merlin's entertainment. "She put it all in, before pulling out slowly, stopping to suck just the tip, greedily. I thought I was going to come right then, but she... I don't know. She changed something, and it got easier."

"What about her hands?" Merlin asked, and Arthur knew that that way laid danger and exposure, but he felt the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could consider them.

"She was grabbing my backside – exploring it, with her fingers..."

"Did she circle your hole?" his voice was lazy and Arthur could distinctly hear the sounds of rumpled clothes, of flesh against flesh.

"Yes" he agreed, his throat constricted.

"And did she put her finger inside you?"

Arthur could only pant, and Merlin moaned at his lack of answer. It was more than Arthur could take, his hand flew straight to his own body, grabbing hard and desperately.

"One or more?" Merlin asked, short of breath.

"Two" confided Arthur, his hand moving too.

"Did you like it?"

"It was amazing" and while it had been, it was nothing compared to this, to now.

"I feel jealous" Merlin said, and it was as if a bucket of cold water washing over him – his hand immediately stilled.

"I'll stop" he offered, ashamed.

"Not of you" he quickly added, his voice deeper with desire. "Of her – of being able to... I wish..."

"What?" pushed Arthur, his hands moving again – needy, frantic.

"I always wanted to do that with you" Merlin confessed, his voice almost gone. "To have you in my mouth, to feel inside you..."

Arthur couldn't fight back his moan, his hands moving faster.

"If I were a girl" Merlin asked, panting. "Would you let me? Would you fuck me like you fucked her?"

"Yes" said Arthur, too far gone to care. "I'd fuck you into the mattress without a second thought."

"If only..." the man whispered. "Oh, I'd ride you so hard."

"Merlin" the prince warned, tense. "I'm..."

"It's okay" soothed the other man. "I know... I'm doing it too, you know? Thinking about you and her, and you..."

Arthur was too far gone, he couldn't hear it anymore, there was nothing, even Merlin's voice was weak compared to the blood rushing on his ears as he came, strangling his cry of pleasure. And before the world could come back to where it was supposed to be, he heard Merlin's sounds, his voice as he came as hard as Arthur had, panting and desperate.

He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do. The silence stretched forever, and he felt the heat colouring his cheeks. He couldn't believed what he had just done – he couldn't believed he had risked that much. Memories of leaked royal conversations came into his head, uncalled for, and he prayed for any god for him not to have outted himself in the worst way possible – with a scandalous news, and talking through his daughter's phone, no less!

As time ticked, he started to become worried – and then he noticed that Merlin's breath was calm and even – he had simply fallen asleep after all the drinking and the excitement. It was somehow even worse, worse than a shared embarrassed silence.

He would have to wait until tomorrow to deal with the consequences of his insane libido.