ACT 14
Katarina nearly choked on her own breath as soon as the question reached her sense of hearing. It was soon followed with her own deafening heartbeat, the organ in her ribcage becoming frantic. Ashe just had to ask that question. The answer in her mind can never be morphed into a lie, which is what made her chest ache.
This is it.
She's going to lose Ashe in the very moment that's about to follow.
Without any of her control, her tears began to flow continuously as she started taking in shaky breaths and restrained sobs.
She shook her head. "No, I don't."
Once her response left her, she suddenly broke down. She honestly doesn't know. Doesn't know why she started to cry out loud, not caring if she looked like the most pathetic being in the world, feeling like she's in her lowest point, painfully suffering from within.
Everything is all too confusing for her.
In her whole life, she never imagined herself to look so vulnerable in front of someone, let alone someone who she labeled as her fuck buddy.
But no, Ashe is truly more than the tag she assigned to her. She isn't a mere object Katarina can freely use just to satisfy her carnal desire.
Staring straight to Ashe, tears showed not a single sign in stopping, the pain in her chest searing, she truly does not know what to do anymore.
"I'm... I'm not supposed to be the one... that's crying... But... Goddammit, Ashe! I don't want to lose you! I...! I don't know why I feel like this, why I'm reacting like this, but fuck..."
She covered her eyes with one hand as continued to cry in her palm, teeth clenching and unclenching.
"I don't how to do these kinds of things. And I... I just... I just want you to teach me... Because I never felt like this in my entire life until I met you."
Katarina couldn't bring herself to lower her hand, fearing that she will see the possible look of pity Ashe may be giving her in that instant. She can feel Ashe's gaze focused on her, but still she refused to look up and meet it.
When more than a couple of seconds passed without receiving any verbal responses from the Winters in front of her, Katarina can feel the hope she's holding on slipping out of her grasp. The prospect of her and Ashe still being together in the future is already a blur, and it's becoming bleaker and bleaker.
Identical to a touch of a being that was sent down from Heaven itself, Katarina felt a soft hand gently cup her cheek. She stilled for a brief moment before lifting her head from its bowed position, hand parting from her eyes and emeralds into ceruleans.
"You are completely unfair." Ashe told her, her own eyes shimmering with tears she is currently holding back.
Katarina wordlessly gazed at her, lips slightly parted.
"Like what you just said, it should be me who's crying." Ashe momentarily pursed her lips before continuing, "But you should know that you have the right cry as well."
Again, Katarina could only stare, unable to conjure up any words she can say in that moment.
"My tears can wait. It's rather obvious..." Ashe smiled in a way that brought comfort within Katarina. "...that yours cannot."
Katarina, vocabulary still empty of words, tried to turn away, mostly due to the shame she felt. Shame that she brought upon herself once Ashe made an effort in consoling her. It's supposed to be the other way around, something she told herself in her thoughts.
Her attempts in looking away ended up in vain, for Ashe denied her such action.
"The fact that you're shedding those tears for me, it only means one thing."
Her body followed like an obedient pet when Ashe pulled her forward with the hand holding the side of her face, until she was on all fours, body hovering above Ashe's and face probably two inches away from the blue-eyed woman.
"You deserve it." Ashe cupped her face with both hands, pulling her closer until their lips were a breath away from each other. "Just don't take it for granted."
Her mind needed a moment as long as a few blinks of her eyes when she heard those words leaving the white-haired beauty in front of her. It made her feel like she was in a dream and her mind had conjured up those words ever so randomly to make her think everything is going to be alright.
Finally, after so many internal self-reassurances, Katarina acquired her mental library of words and managed to succeed in forming a short reply but meaningful reply.
"I won't." She practically whispered. "All I ask of you is...-"
Her eyes could only widen once her lips were taken under the captivity of Ashe's, the gesture immediately sending sensations she thought she never would experience again and much more. The kiss wasn't like their feverish and overexcited exchanges whenever they're both eager to sate each other's lust. It's innocent enough for Ashe to end easily and for Katarina to recover from quickly.
Believe Katarina, she eminently desired to deepen it, but she knows her place and chose to stay nearly completely still for the time being. Ashe is the leader in the situation they're in, while she is a mere follower.
"...a second chance." Katarina finished in a quiet whisper.
Ashe opened her eyes and gazed deeply into Katarina's own.
"You already have it."
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"As much I dislike the idea of Ashe forgiving and accepting you again,"
Both Katarina and Ashe snapped their heads to the direction where the speaker's voice came from, seeing Caitlyn standing at one of the ends of the aisle, arms crossed and sporting a disapproving look.
"We still have the media flocking around at the motel."
"Yeah," Vi walked into their sights, leaning on one of the shelves. "With them not leaving, Ashe doesn't have anywhere to stay at. I'm willing to bet tons of cash that there's more of them at Ashe's apartment downtown. Probably crawling around over there."
"Nonsense." Caitlyn contradicted her lover. "She can stay with us."
"Umm, Cupcake, if you don't remember, we renovated the guest room...-"
"She can stay with me." Katarina abruptly volunteered, looking between the two standing females.
As she expected, the look Caitlyn gave her said everything but approval. Obviously, the latter objects with her volunteered offer. Then again, it's not like Caitlyn will be the one who decides where Ashe will be staying at.
"I'll stay with her." Ashe said, almost murmuring her answer as she obliviously strokes the outline of Katarina's jaw with her fingertips. The move almost made the redhead shudder in a form of reflexive response.
"Ashe." Caitlyn uttered the four letter name with a tone of disfavor. "You will not."
"Yes, I will." Ashe defiantly, but calmly, stated back, gazing at her friend with eyes filled with her determination in having her way. "This is my decision."
Caitlyn lightly huffed, not at all happy with Ashe's decision. Nonetheless, she placed her hands on her hips and said, "The next time you come crying to me, I will not hesitate in telling you those four little words."
"She won't." Katarina reassured. "I'll take care of her."
When she said this, she turned to Caitlyn and presented to her an earnest expression, which was returned with a cold stare. It didn't escape her notice though when Ashe returned her eyes to her once she said those words.
Caitlyn still looked reluctant with the idea, but it's quite clear that she's outvoted. Sighing and slightly shaking her head, the Winters' friend surrendered.
"Fine. If that's your decision, so be it."
As soon as Caitlyn said this, Vi withdrew a paper bag from behind her back, handing it to her girlfriend, who then passed it to Ashe. Katarina pulled back and sat beside Ashe on the floor, while the said female took a peek inside the given pack.
Katarina's green eyes couldn't help themselves though. It trailed away from Ashe's face and went downward, especially when the movement of Ashe stretching her right leg out captured her attention. The oversize jacket is too open to conceal the nightshirt, and her eyes lingered at Ashe's exposed cleavage before it continued to descend further south, hoping to take a moment to view the legs that she had felt more than a couple of times wrapped around her waist.
"Ahem!" Came an intentionally audible feigned cough.
All of the attention of the Du Couteau redhead was torn away from Ashe, her eyes turning and landing on the origin of the contrived cough, who turns out to be, unsurprisingly, Caitlyn. Behind the mentioned woman is Vi, who grinned to herself as a form of reaction towards the situation.
Katarina suddenly felt her fill of embarrassment practically full, regardless of her looking away and managing on maintaining the mildly apathetic expression on her face. Katarina succeeded. It somehow proved that only Ashe can have an effect on her. An effect enough for her to shift her moods and her exterior facial appearance.
"I should probably change now." Ashe spoke in general, sparing glances at the three women around her.
Katarina nodded and got up, helping Ashe in standing on her own feet soon after, which left a familiar mobile phone, a music player and a pair of earphones on the polished floor. She decided to step aside once Caitlyn placed a hand on Ashe's back and began leading her away, undoubtedly escorting her to wherever she's going to change.
"I'll be waiting." Katarina murmured as Ashe was about to walk past her.
Ashe offered a small smile in return. "I won't be long."
She nodded, silently watching as Ashe walked away with Caitlyn and towards the backroom. Katarina waited until the pair was out of her sights before bending down and picking up the three items that were forgotten on the floor.
When she was in the process of standing back up to her full height, she expected to see Vi's grinning face again, so she was definitely surprised when her eyes looked into a pair of orbs that's a lighter shade than her own emeralds.
The music player and the earbuds were snatched out of her grasp, and to be honest, it actually looks like the man in front of her was internally deciding if Ashe's cellphone should also be taken away from the redhead herself.
"Let's talk." The jade-eyed man said, obviously not giving her any choices.
"You sure we're just going to talk?" Maybe it's Katarina's method in showing her own type of dominance. She may not be a guy with a manhood between her legs, but she sure does know more than just a thing or two about asserting her power.
"If it were up to me, I'd tie you to my own bike and drag you around the whole city." Tryndamere said in a threatening manner. "Unfortunately, Ashe actually likes you, so yes, a talk is what we're only going to do."
Not troubling herself in prolonging the little battle between her and Tryndamere, she decided to just nod and follow Tryndamere out of the convenience store. Frankly, Katarina expected to be ambushed by a bunch of goons once she stepped foot out of the building, but much to her surprise, Tryndamere merely led her to a place at the sidewalk where they can see the media-crowded motel a fair distance away from their point.
"I'll be straight with you." Tryndamere began as he pushed the two gadgets inside his pocket. "Braum and I have known Ashe longer than anyone else out there, so we know what makes her smile and what makes her frown. And you, Du Couteau, are one of those two things."
Katarina kept her silence, knowing Tryndamere isn't finished. She settled in spectating the commotion at the motel with mild interest as she waited.
"In fact, you're worse."
"Worse?" She couldn't help but ask.
"Ever since Ashe agreed to have a crazy relationship with you, she has been switching from smiling and laughing to moping and crying. The last two things aren't really a great sight to see. So, this brings me to the point where I ask a specific question." Tryndamere moved his body until it faced her halfway. "What are your plans with Ashe?"
"Plans?"
"Things you want to do with her in the future or her very own future. I'm sure you already know that Ashe isn't like those typical women you see." Tryndamere then hostilely narrowed his eyes at her. "You're not planning on just getting back with her just for her body, are you?"
Instead of hysterically defending herself, something the general population would do in that situation, Katarina shook her head as she lowered her gaze to the grungy road.
"She's more than that. That much I know, at least."
"Who is she to you, then?"
Katarina stared blankly at the dirty puddle a small space away from her.
"Someone I need."
"Need is a little bit of an exaggeration, don't you think so?"
She shook her head again. "Every time I think of her, yeah, I always remember the times that we had sex…-"
Tryndamere's eye twitched for a split-second.
"…-but I also remember the moments when she took care of me." Katarina's lips unconsciously curved upward. "She massaged me whenever my body's sore, she used to cook breakfast for me before we leave her apartment… She somehow knows what I want without even asking."
Tryndamere half-scoffed, but smiled when a pleasant memory of him and Ashe cooking when they were still so young came into mind. "She's like that, yeah…"
"She… makes me feel things…" Her hand wandered up until it settled over her beating heart. "Things that I'm not really familiar with."
"She's like that." Tryndamere repeated what he said, but this time, he said this specific set of words with a tone that made it clear that he wholly knows what Katarina's describing. "Ashe Winters, a woman who lost everything, makes other people feel like they actually have everything."
"Lost everything?" She asked in confusion, eyebrows furrowing as she redirected her eyes back to Tryndamere. "What are you talking about? She has you, has that big guy at the store, Caitlyn, Vi, what the hell are you talking about?"
"Ashe's everything isn't us." Tryndamere said with a shake of his head. "It's her mother."
Ashe's mother, a certain character that Katarina has never brought up to the child of the stated woman.
"Right now, although I feel a little jealous, to be honest, but you're Ashe's everything." Tryndamere told her, sounding almost like he's grumbling.
Katarina's eyes widened from those words.
Her?
She's Ashe's everything?
That sounds too good to be true for her to just accept and believe.
"That doesn't make sense." Katarina laughed sardonically. "Trying to butter me up won't really get you any benefits."
"I'm not buttering you up." Tryndamere half-snarled. "It's the truth."
"Oh really? You expect me to believe that Ashe actually sees me as some sort of core part of her life? That I'm some center of hers?"
"Yes." Was the blunt answer of the black-haired man.
She wanted to scoff. "Like I said, no sense. Total bullshit."
"Why do you think she massages you?" Tryndamere questioned out of the blue. "Why do you think she cooks for you? Takes care of you? Practically did everything for you?"
"I don't know!" Katarina answered, sounding defensive.
"Exactly!" Tryndamere scowled. "Those are the things Ashe did for her mother when she was still alive!"
"…" Katarina's eyes trailed to the side.
"When her mother died because of a bad illness, Ashe felt like she didn't do enough for her, felt like she didn't take care of her mother properly. It's the main reason why she puts everyone else first before her, because she doesn't want to have another 'repeat' of what had happened. Everyone's care and well-being comes first before hers."
Katarina avoided Tryndamere's scrutinizing gaze, looking almost everywhere but his direction.
"Including yours."
Her words ran away from her yet again, leaving her wordless. All she could do was look down to the ground and silently recall everything Ashe had done for her and how she was in such good hands the entire time she was with her.
"Which is why I'm here to tell you to never, ever, hurt her again."
It took a long moment of silence.
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"Tryndamere?"
Tryndamere turned around and instantly flashed a smile, waving at his approaching childhood friend. Katarina though, she lifted her head up in a slow speed before uttering two simple, but meaningful, words.
"I promise."
Just as Ashe reached them, Katarina spun around to fully face the blue-eyed Winters. She found Ashe donning a plain violet shirt slash hoodie, worn-out jeans and a pair of matching violet sneakers.
"Be careful." Tryndamere bid to his friend, giving Ashe a hug.
Katarina let the two have their moment, Tryndamere's words still loitering in her head. From a small distance away from them, she spotted Vi starting up her own motorcycle, Caitlyn getting ready to wear the amethyst-colored helmet the pinkette gave her.
Of course the two lovers didn't depart without Caitlyn giving Katarina herself a warning glare.
Tryndamere had already pulled away and was on the way back to the store, when Ashe touched her right arm. Once she felt the light contact, her gaze snapped towards the owner of the touch.
"Katarina?" Ashe stared at her with those crystal-like eyes, her heart thudding inside her chest ever so suddenly. "Should we go now?"
She just fixed her eyes on Ashe, not daring in removing her attention from the picturesque beauty.
"Katarina?"
Eliminating the space between them, Katarina inched towards Ashe and engulfed her in her arms, eyes closing as she buried half of her face in Ashe's hair. Ashe could only blink in confusion.
"Let's go." Her whispered words may have been a tad bit anticlimactic, but the way she voiced them out was enough to send Ashe's heart racing.
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Saying that the staff in the Du Couteau estate was surprised is an understatement. When Katarina arrived with Ashe, the maids and butlers that greeted them and they eventually passed had either looks or gleams of surprise, especially when they saw Ashe's choice of clothing and their firmly intertwined hands.
Ashe mutely allowed Katarina to lead her through the manor, letting the feeling of contentment freely swirl inside of her. Just by focusing her attention solely on their locked hands, it made her forget about her reputation being destroyed as they breathe.
After a few minutes of walking around the second floor of the mansion, their steps halted in front of a black door that's adorned with red tribal markings designing the wooden panel.
"Where do you want to sleep in, my bedroom or a guest room?" Katarina inquired, turning around to look at her.
Ashe gave Katarina's hand a squeeze. "I prefer to sleep with you. If it's alright, that is."
She was unaware with the way Katarina had gulped quietly after she said that. If she had noticed it, she doesn't really have to think twice just to know what Katarina may or may not be thinking.
"It's fine with me." Katarina murmured, facing the door and twisting the knob. The red-haired female pulled Ashe into the room with her, pushing the door close before walking towards the king-size bed.
The two women perched themselves on the foot of the bed, their hands slowly slipping away from each other. Ashe opted in folding her hands on her lap, while Katarina just placed her own on either side of herself.
There have been no exchange after they left the store, the only interaction they had ever since they departed was the conversation they just had about what room Ashe prefers to sleep in. Since Katarina still seems to be distracted with a matter she's pondering about in her mind, Ashe chose to take this as a chance to inspect Katarina.
For the past hours that she spent crying, sulking and contemplating with her life decisions, Ashe realized that she actually missed Katarina, despite the fact that the Du Couteau is the one responsible for the mentioned three.
Her eyes started skimming over Katarina's whole form.
What? Katarina isn't the only one allowed to ogle at someone she has an interest in.
Ashe is the same as her. Her sense of sight explored Katarina's clothed body, taking a few mental shots to store in her memory. When she saw a moderate portion of Katarina's midriff tattoo, it took more than just a small amount of self-control to not bite her lip right then and there.
If Katarina is aroused by her sight, then the same thing can happen to Ashe, only difference here is that Katarina isn't as discreet at gawking like Ashe is.
But today though, Katarina caught her red-handed.
"Ashe?"
Ashe's head rapidly raised, eyes snapping back to Katarina's face. "Hmm?"
"Are you… checking me out?"
Blushing, and already knowing there's no use in concealing an already exposed fact, Ashe nodded timidly, too flustered to even reply verbally. Even though she was the one who was caught in the act, Katarina herself modeled her own blush, feeling a relatively flattered.
"You're not the only one who has the right to do such thing." Ashe defended as she shifted until her body was facing forward instead of pointing at Katarina's direction. "Admittedly, you're an attractive woman."
"Thanks, I guess." Katarina mumbled, still sporting the color on her cheeks.
"Katarina, may I ask?"
"Go ahead."
"How do you plan on explaining this?" She asked, glancing between her lap and Katarina. "To your family, you know."
"Oh, umm," Katarina looked a little sheepish now. "I'll talk with my siblings first, then I'll probably bring it up to my father after I'm through with them. Hopefully, he doesn't throw some fit or something."
"If me staying here is too much trouble for you, I can always live with Caitlyn and Vi for the time being." She stated. "I wouldn't want to cause any dilemma between you and your family."
Surprisingly, when she looked towards Katarina, she found the redhead gazing at her with what seems to be a pleading look.
"Please don't do that." Katarina said all of a sudden.
"Do what?"
"See yourself as just a problem for someone. For me."
"Isn't that what I am?" Ashe said in a faint volume, lowering her gaze back to her lap. "Haven't really seen myself more than just a burden to the people around me."
She almost jumped when Katarina reached towards her and took one of her hands. This gesture drove her to face the instigator of the act, her eyes meeting Katarina's again.
"You're more than that. Believe me, you are."
"Kat…-"
"It wasn't your fault." The Du Couteau promptly cut off, tone serious and holding no lie.
"What are you…?"
"Your mother's death."
Her hand twitched in Katarina's grasp, her posture became rigid and her lips refused to form any words and ended up settling in trembling.
"I may not have been there when you were a kid, but if what your friend told me is true, then you did everything that you can to help your mother."
"If I took care…-"
"You did."
She smiled sarcastically. "No, I didn't."
"You did and you know it." Katarina insisted. "Ashe, you…-"
"You wouldn't understand!" She suddenly snapped, tears beginning to pool in her eyes as she glared. "When you were seven years old, were you buying condoms to make sure your mother doesn't get pregnant while she does her work? Whenever you tried sleeping at night when you were young, did you ever hear your mother cry and sound so desperate while she prayed? Did you ever feel like a heavy burden to someone? Like it was you that held them down?"
Katarina just looked at her, unable to think of what to say.
"If I wasn't born, then my mother wouldn't have lived half of her life as a prostitute! She sold her body just to clothe me! To feed me! To make sure I stayed healthy while she suffered quietly!" Clear tears were running down her face, but she could care less in attempting on stopping them from falling. "Do you still think you can understand what I feel?"
"No," Katarina answered. "I won't understand it."
Ashe let out a breath as she broke their eye contact.
"My mother left when I was six years old." Katarina smiled woefully. "That's why I won't understand."
"…" Ashe couldn't piece out any words she can say. After what she recently said and what Katarina just told her, it was too much for her brain to process immediately. Instead, she decided to let her eyes wander downward and nowhere near Katarina's face.
She stood up, and as if Katarina sensed what she intended on doing, the red-haired female instantly stood up and wound her arms around Ashe's waist, holding her from behind. Ashe still felt like Katarina could never comprehend everything she had went through, so when she started struggling in the other woman's hold, more tears fell from her eyes.
"Katarina!"
Katarina said nothing, still keeping her arms securely clasped around her.
"Let me go!"
Again, Katarina voiced out not a single syllable.
"Kata…-!"
"Make me understand, then."
She froze, tensing in the redhead's clutches. Behind her, Katarina closed her eyes and lightly nuzzled her face in her neck, breathing steady.
"Just don't leave." Katarina softly whispered. "I don't want this feeling inside me to disappear. It's something that only comes out when you're with me."
Ashe stayed in her unmoving stature for a few more seconds before her entire body slackened and leaned back against Katarina, who presented no complaints in holding most of her weight. She can feel herself become exhausted, emotionally and physically.
When Katarina changed her hold on her and decided to lift her up in her arms, she showed no more protest. She felt like all her energy was depleted nearly to the fullest, so she let herself be carried back to the bed.
Once she was laid on the bed, she could feel a great degree of warmth when Katarina joined her and rested beside her, pulling her close and ensuring she's enveloped in her arms as they lied down on the soft bed.
"Don't leave." She heard Katarina's whispered plea.
Still finding herself incapable in forming together a verbal reply, Ashe decided to answer back by returning the embrace and moving herself closer until there was space between them.
The response was more than enough for Katarina.
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Author's Note: Hey, everyone! I finished this chapter for all of you, especially those who reviewed! I love you, my readers! *
Next chapter will probably show how Katarina will handle her family's reaction. Still thinking if I should squeeze in a little date between her and Ashe in it, but maybe it's still too soon? Maybe it should be at Act 16? Opinions, readers? I would really like to hear them. :)
By the way, to those who also read my one-shot stories, I just want to say that I'll be releasing a Katarina x Ashe one-shot. It's like, 40% - 50% finished, so a little more work and it shall be uploaded! :D
And, no, it's not the requested (Male) Katarina x Ashe. :3
The one-shot I'll be releasing is a piece I wrote in a notebook when I was at school and not listening to the lecture being given. Cellphones aren't really allowed during classes. :P
Oh, and a little warning. It contains the tag "Futanari", soooo, yeah. Read it if you want, or not. :3
You can even flame it if you're not in to those kinds of things. It would be better to just not read it if you don't like it. You know, to not have an excuse to flame it and all. xD