98 percent
Chapter 14
"Are you sure you're okay?"
Haruko took a deep breath.
"Yeah. I'm gonna go out there, serve her a drink, and I'll be fine. It's fine."
Kamiya, her manager, gave her a concerned look.
"You don't look fine, Haruko. You don't have to, I can serve her and she won't even know you're here."
"No. I have to. I'll have to do it eventually if she keeps coming here."
"Ikeda-chan, not to be a self-proclaimed therapist here, but it just sounds like you're looking for an excuse to talk to her."
Haruko stood up and started heading out of the break room.
"Come on. Break's over, isn't it?"
Kamiya sighed and shook her head, following her employee out the door, knowing this won't end well.
"Haruko?"
The bar was filled with garage rock music from some crappy band that had a gig that Friday. It was unbelievably loud and obnoxious (and bad), making it difficult to hear what the customers were saying.
Yet her voice was clear as day, making Haruko shut out any other noise around her. It's been so long since she's heard her voice.
"I… I didn't know you work here."
Everything Haruko tried so hard to forget and shut out was banging on the door of her mind, begging to let it back in.
"Ikeda-chan? What are you doing here on a Saturday..?"
"I took Maho's shift."
Silence. Kamiya sighed.
"You're being self-destructive, you know."
"…I know."
Haruko has worked three evenings in a row before, but that was during the summer when she had no university. Her exhaustion wasn't just physical, it was mental, too. Especially mental. Her manager told her she could take the Sunday off if she wanted to, but Haruko refused and dragged herself to the bar, even though she was on her last legs.
Kamiya was there as usual. Their manager insisted on working all weekend and having the weekdays off, seeing as the weekends were the busiest days, excluding Sunday. Haruko wondered if she sleeps in the bar.
She greeted her coworker who was just about to leave and put her things away in the break room. Kamiya was alone at the front of house when Haruko showed up, though it's not like she needed much help with customers anyway. She gave Haruko shifts on Sunday evenings just to help close up the bar quicker.
"Hey hey, how are you feeling?" Kamiya asked.
"Hey, I'm fine, how have… things been?"
Kamiya finished serving a customer and turned to her employee who was spacing out, eyes darting around the bar, clearly looking for someone.
"She's not here."
Haruko glanced over to her manager meeting her once again concerned face.
"Right… Sorry." she shook her head, trying to focus on working.
Trying to focus after such a horrible week (in more ways than one) was, to say the least, difficult. Every single time the door would open and a new customer would walk in, Haruko would nearly snap her own neck turning to see who walked in.
Finally, someone familiar walked in. Though they weren't the people Haruko expected to see.
"IKE-CHAAAN!"
Haruko watched Iwaizumi nearly drag his best friend to the two bar seats right in front of her as she was wiping a glass, both eyebrows raised in amusement at the two boys.
"What are you doing here?" she wanted to follow up with an 'And who drinks on a Sunday?', but then remembered her own Sunday night outing. Nevermind.
"Weeeeell," Oikawa began, putting his arms on the bar, "We were bored of our usual place, and then Iwa-chan remembered you work at The Old House, and now we're here!"
He was being incredibly cheerful; Haruko figured he had to be at least a little bit drunk to be this nice to her, considering all that happened.
"Okay," Iwaizumi said, "now here's my side of the story – we got kicked out of our usual place, thanks to the idiot next to me, and then said idiot whined for around twenty minutes that we go here because, and I quote, 'Ike-chan works there, we HAVE to go'."
Haruko chuckled as Oikawa complained about being called out. For a moment, it felt like nothing had changed and they were back to how they were when they met. Things were so good back then.
"Ooh, who's this?" her manager asked.
"Oh, right, these are the guys from the volleyball club I told you about. Two of them at least – the glasses boy is Oikawa and that's Iwaizumi." she gestured at them respectively, "Guys, this is my manager, Kamiya."
Haruko served the two boys drinks, actually feeling happy to see them. Iwaizumi, at least. And to be fair, Oikawa was being a decent human being too, albeit probably only because he's tipsy, but she had no space in her head right now to start yet another argument with him, as long as he doesn't start shit either. She knew he won't – Iwaizumi was right there and surely he would scold the both of them for it.
Haruko eyed his forehead. The light was dim, but there was definitely still a mark there from the arcade incident. Never again.
As usual, Sunday was slow, so Haruko was spending most of her time chatting with the boys. Every so often a customer would come in and she would go away to serve them, and sometimes Kamiya would take over the conversation, very obviously giving Iwaizumi sly looks, oh my god Kami-chan, not again.
The night was actually going well. And you know what that means - it all, of course, had to go to shit. Because apparently, that's how the world works.
Haruko was squatting down next to the mini-fridge behind the bar, putting some drinks away, her back turned to the two boys behind her.
"Hey, isn't that Karasuno's old manager?"
Haruko froze. She finally showed up, third day in a row. Shimizu Kiyoko.
"Oh shit, yeah. I remember I tried getting her number once, she completely ignored me…"
Haruko snorted. "Yeah, I bet she did."
Oikawa squinted at the sudden outburst from her. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Haruko didn't spare either of them a single look, stood up and made her way to the middle of the bar where Kamiya was.
"Ikeda-chan, she's he-"
"I know."
Her manager looked back at the counter she was wiping. "Do you want me to..?"
"No. I got this."
Kamiya resisted her urge to shake her head. You said that last time, too…
Haruko took a deep breath.
"Oh, Iwaizumi-san, Oikawa-san. Wasn't expecting to see you here."
Before either of them could reply, Haruko did it for them.
"They're from my team. Hey again, Shimi-chan. What'll it be?"
"Hey… Um, two long islands, please." she said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
Focused on making the drinks for the woman in front of her, Haruko completely forgot about the two boys next to her.
"They… know each other?" Oikawa whispered to his friend, eyeing the girls.
Iwaizumi shrugged. "I guess so."
"So… your team? You joined the volleyball club?"
God, her voice is going to kill me.
"Yup. I'm their manager."
Haruko made the mistake of looking up. Kiyoko was smiling.
"I'm… glad to see you're doing well."
Haruko's face dropped at the drinks she just finished making, and before handing them over, she realized she can't deal with this any longer. Kiyoko has been coming here for days. Not knowing why was killing her. Haruko snapped.
"Why… do you keep coming here?"
She knew asking that was bound to be a mistake, but the flicker of hope that Kiyoko maybe, just maybe was here to see her was overpowering everything else.
But Kiyoko's smile disappeared immediately, replaced with a small sigh no one could hear. Haruko wasn't even looking at her. Kiyoko put one hand behind her neck, trying to figure out how to put this… lightly.
"Haruko,"
The girl nearly exploded at the sound of her name coming from Kiyoko. So did Oikawa and Iwaizumi who were trying their best to hide the fact that they were eavesdropping the entire time. "They're on a first name basis..?" Oikawa whispered.
"I'm sorry." she continued, "I honestly didn't know you work here. It's just that… my girlfriend really likes it here…"
Haruko's heart dropped, her grip tightening on the drinks she just made.
She couldn't look up at her. "Right. Sorry."
She lifted the two drinks and placed them on the bar, trying her best not to shake. Kiyoko took them in her hands, trying to find something she could say. But nothing came out, and after mumbling a small 'mm' she left.
Oikawa watched the girl walk away, trying to process just what all of that was about. He squinted at Kiyoko's retreating figure, and then turned back to Haruko to ask exactly that.
Instead he was met with a sight that made his words get stuck in his throat.
The girl he thought was completely indestructible… was falling apart right in front of him.
Her back turned to the bar counter, she was gripping the edge of the shelf below with all her might, clearly fighting tears back.
Oikawa's eyes widened. He shot back to the spot where he saw Kiyoko last, although the woman was long gone. Then shot back at Haruko.
"…Oh."
Iwaizumi was also slowly coming to the same conclusion, although before either of them could think of anything to say, Kamiya swooped in and dragged Haruko away, leaving a very confused customer that she was serving behind.
As soon as they were far enough from everyone else, right at the edge of the bar, Kamiya spoke up.
"Break room. Now. All the way until closing time. Black coat, inside pocket."
Haruko, voice breaking, was about to protest. "But-"
"No buts. I'll call you if I need your help, you know it's been dead all evening. As for the other thing, you definitely need it more than me. Just make sure to turn the smoke detectors off. Now go."
Haruko nodded and was soon gone out of sight. Kamiya went back to the customer she left out of nowhere and apologized, and once she was done serving him she couldn't continue ignoring the piercing gazes from the two boys that were still at the bar, having their –nth drink.
"Don't look at me like that, it's not my story to tell."
"We… kind of started putting things together ourselves by now." Oikawa said. "At least give us the basics before we start assuming something we shouldn't assume."
"What do you mean we..? I'm not the one being all up in someone else's business." Iwa grumbled. Although if he was honest, he was curious too, but his curiosity came from being worried about their friend.
The bar manager rolled her eyes. They were Haruko's friends, after all, they might know how to help. She did talk about them a lot, especially pretty boy over there.
"Alright, fine. But I only know the basics myself."
She made them two more drinks and leaned on the bar.
"Last Sunday that girl, Kiyoko, had apparently come in – I didn't even see her, I just saw Ikeda-chan freaking out and dragged her into the break room. She took the rest of the night off, and then Monday evening she messaged me asking to call her when I have a minute, so I did. She kept apologizing for leaving me to worry and disappearing like that, honestly that girl…" Kamiya shook her head, "Anyway, after that she gave me the shortest explanation she could give – that's her ex-girlfriend from high school, she thought she got over her, but when she saw her after so long… well, she realized she didn't. That's all I know."
After a moment Kamiya sighed.
"We're all bitter over someone. But Ikeda-chan… I think there's a lot more to the story. I've never seen her act like that."
The three were silent for a while, and soon after Kamiya went to serve a customer.
Oikawa stood outside at an alley behind the bar, trying to get some fresh air after having one drink too much. It was dark, it was cold, and it was raining. Kamiya let him out through the back door to get him out sooner, quote, 'before he throws up inside her establishment', but told him not to hang around back there – the only dim light source was from the bar windows, and people have been mugged there. But Oikawa only needed a few minutes, so what's the worst that can happen?
He looked up at the rainy sky, thinking about the image he can't get out of his head. Haruko had been gone for about two hours now and the bar was going to close soon.
Just what happened between you and Shimizu?
Oikawa wanted her to come back. Come back to the bar and come back to being herself. The way she was breaking down back there… he felt his own heart smash into pieces when he saw her like that.
All arguments aside, he was slowly admitting to himself that he admired her for how strong she was. This was a good reminder that she was also human – capable of making mistakes, and capable of getting hurt.
Just as he was about to go back, he heard footsteps on his right, where the back door was.
"Hey there…" he said, nervously. The dark figure was definitely a man, but he was unable to make the face out.
"Hey."
The dark figure had a knife out.
"Ah shit…" Oikawa muttered, taking a defensive stance. As defensive as he could, anyway – he wasn't the one with a goddamn knife. He couldn't even make a run for it because the man was standing right in front of the door and the alley had a dead end behind Oikawa.
"Give me everything you got and no one gets hurt."
"Dude, I left my wallet inside," Oikawa started, suddenly hyper-aware of the wallet in his back pocket, "I don't have anything on me."
"That's what they all say," the man growled, hand tightening around the knife, "but somehow I always find something on their dead bodies."
If Oikawa wasn't worried before, he definitely was now and his breaths became more erratic. He lifted his hands slowly, trying to find something to say and drag time out, to either figure out a plan or have someone see them.
The latter happened before he could say anything.
The back door swung open and both men shot their gazes at the girl who had just taken a step outside. In a split second Haruko's eyes met with Oikawa's and darted over to the man in front of her.
Oikawa took a step forward, using his mugger's distraction against him. Fueled by fear of both getting hurt and seeing Haruko get hurt, he was ready to take his chances.
That, however, wasn't necessary and Oikawa stopped in his tracks. He had another image burned into his mind before he could act.
He watched Haruko grab the man's wrist, the one that had the knife, and take a swing at him with her other arm, with force he never knew the girl had. The man wasn't even given a time to react or groan – the moment Haruko's fist came in contact with his face, he fell to the ground, with the faint sound of the knife hitting the stone tiles surrounding him. He was out cold.
When Oikawa came back to his senses a few seconds later, he quickly walked over to the girl and stared at the man below them.
"…Holy fuck… How-"
"You saw nothing." she harshly cut him off. "And get back inside, this shit happens all the time back here, it's not safe."
Haruko turned around and went inside herself, and Oikawa followed her. He looked back at the man one last time before locking the back door, in complete disbelief that she was just going to… leave the guy there. His eyes shot back at the sharp sound of a door slam – Oikawa eyed the 'staff only' sign on it, faint smell of weed coming from that direction. He figured it's the break room, which she just went back into.
'You saw nothing.'
The moment Haruko swung at the man Oikawa had his eyes fixated on her own. Unlike him, it wasn't fear that drove her. It wasn't sadness, or frustration, or any emotion at all. It was nothing.
It looked like she had done that before. More than once.
Just what happened… to you?
Oikawa calmed himself down and started walking back to his friend. He knew his curiosity would get the best of him eventually, but for now, he was going to quietly celebrate being alive.
"You have a good night, see you soon!" Kamiya waved to the last customer leaving the bar – all except for Oikawa and Iwaizumi who were still in their original spot.
"Here, catch!" she threw a pair of keys at Iwaizumi, who swiftly caught them with his right hand, "Lock up the front door, will ya? You guys can stay for a while longer and keep us company; any friends of Ikeda's are friends of mine."
He nodded and went to lock the door as Kamiya brought a bar stool behind the bar, positioning it in front of where the boys were sitting and grabbed a drink for herself – it was her bar, after all.
"You look a little shaken up, pretty boy." she whispered while Iwaizumi was away. "Something happen back there?"
It's been about a half an hour since the back alley event, Oikawa had calmed down but clearly not enough for no one to notice. He shook his head. "No, I'm fine."
"Alright, thought you just don't wanna tell you friend, but it looks like you don't wanna tell anyone. Suit yourself." she took a sip from her beer bottle and smiled at Iwa who had just come back and given her the keys.
As Iwa sat back down on the bar stool, Oikawa noticed the woman quickly type something on her phone, and soon after, lo and behold, Haruko showed up. As soon as she lifted her head, she was met with three pairs of eyes, one staring at her a lot more than the other two. (It was Oikawa. Duh.)
"Aw what, Kami-chan, you said everyone's gone?" she asked, tiredly.
"Well yeah, except these two, the place is locked. Here, chill for a while." Kamiya stood up as she was talking, opened up a bottle of cider for her and slid it over the bar. As Haruko caught it, she continued, "I'm not ready to go home yet, it's only what, 11pm? We have the cleaners coming in tomorrow morning, so we don't have much to do for closing, anyway."
Haruko nodded, but slipped the bottle off the bar into her hand and left them behind, walking to the sofa at the corner of the venue to have her drink alone.
"She's working for the third evening in a row." Kamiya spoke up, noticing the two boys looking back at their friend, "Not only that, this weekend probably took a toll on her emotionally, too. I can't really blame her for not wanting to socialize much."
They nodded making a small 'mm' noise of approval. A few moment later, though, Iwaizumi spoke up.
"I really think you should go talk to her."
Oikawa was a little taken aback by his friend's sudden suggestion. "Me? Why?"
"I don't know about Kamiya-san, but to my knowledge… If anyone would know what to say, it would be you."
After a moment Oikawa sighed. He knew exactly what Iwaizumi was talking about.
"Hey…" Kamiya spoke up, leaning on the bar and resting her chin on one hand, "I don't know what tall, dark and handsome here is on about, but if there's anything you can tell Ikeda-chan that could help, please do."
Handsome? Iwaizumi smirked at the girl.
…Tall? Oikawa squinted.
"I'll even think about accidentally losing the records of your bar tab if it works." she said, smiling and taking out a few bottles from the fridge, handing them to Oikawa.
He looked back at Haruko who had just finished her own drink and plopped it on the table in front of the sofa. At least one part of her usual self was visible – she had stretched out on the sofa, her legs dangling over the right edge of it.
He owed her one, didn't he?
Oikawa groaned and took the two bottles Kamiya left on the bar in front of him.
Haruko had her eyes closed, still slightly high from smoking in the break room, focusing on the faint music coming from the bar's speakers. She wondered when her manager will finally invest in new speakers, their current ones were absolutely awful.
She gasped and shot her eyes open at the sudden feeling of someone lifting her legs up. The culprit, Oikawa, slid under her legs and sat down on the sofa, then put them back down on his lap.
Just like they used to sit together before everything went to shit.
He didn't say anything and simply gave her one of the bottles he had with him. Haruko whispered a small 'thank you', then they put their bottles together making them do a little 'clang' sound, and sat in silence for a while.
"So…" Oikawa eventually began, "You… and Shimizu, huh?"
Haruko sighed, irritated. "Look, Oikawa, if you're here to tease, or mock me about it-"
"I'm not." he interrupted. Haruko looked at him, realizing she's never seen his face be that sincere, ever. "Iwa-chan… thinks I might be able to help. Or if anything, relate, I guess."
Haruko snorted, "I really doubt you'd ever relate to the shit I've went through."
She wasn't sure if it was the weed residue, or the alcohol, but she had a nagging need to over-share.
"Maybe I will, maybe I won't. But like Kamiya-chan said, we're all bitter over someone."
Haruko was silent, not knowing what to say. She sat up to have a sip of her drink, her legs still over Oikawa's lap, but his face much closer to her own now. She sat there looking down at the bottle she hand in her hands, sitting in between her legs.
"What… happened?"
With that, Haruko decided to let go, just for today.
She took a deep breath.
"When I was in my second year of high school, Kiyoko started attending Karasuno as a first year. The moment I laid my eyes on her… I couldn't get her out of my head. I went out of my way to become friends with her, and when I found out she's into girls, I asked her out the same day. To my surprise, she said yes. The problem was that I didn't know what I was getting myself into…"
Haruko shuffled around a bit getting herself comfortable and took another sip from her bottle.
"Kiyoko isn't just a pretty face. It's a bonus, yeah, but the longer we dated the more in love I fell. She's… amazing. She's caring, she's hardworking, she's passionate about everything she does, yet she's modest and gentle, and… Honestly, I could go on and on about her. She's perfect. She… made me happy."
Oikawa listened without interruption, worried about the lack of the word 'was'.
"And I guess as a teenager, completely head over heels for her, I didn't notice that things weren't as great as they seemed. About a year and a half in, I began noticing that something wasn't right. I noticed it too late, and one day she asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. Back then, I was happy to be going out with my girlfriend for a walk. Today, though, I realize that it was one of those 'walks' farmers take their old, sick dogs on before they take them to the shed and… well…"
"It was a quiet winter evening, probably one of the nicest winter evenings I can remember." Haruko chuckled, "She… broke up with me. That's pretty much it. It wasn't and ugly break-up or anything. She was being her usual self – kind and caring. She tried her best to make sure that I would take it well, which is exactly what killed me inside, and which is what she failed to do. She… tried to protect me by not telling me why she's breaking up with me."
She sat there for a moment, trying to gather her messy thoughts, though Oikawa didn't even dare to move a muscle, let alone rush her.
"To this day… I don't know what I did to make her break up with me. Or what I didn't do. Or if there was a part of me that was the deal-breaker. To this day, I don't know what's wrong with me. So… naturally, I assume it's everything. And that was my downfall."
She took another sip from her bottle and sat down normally, resting her legs at the edge of the table in front. Haruko didn't say anything else, indicating that's the end of the story.
But Oikawa knew better.
"There's more to it, isn't there?"
He watched her exhale slowly, put her bottle down on the table and lean back. She turned her head to him, making their gazes meet.
"Oikawa… I can't-…"
She trailed off getting lost in his eyes. They were different. They were completely different from the ones she would usually see, the ones she didn't trust.
She looked away and focused on her own knees.
Just for today.
"If I tell you, you have to promise me to take this to your grave."
"I promise."
"No, I mean it." she said, looking at him sharply. "And also… I think I need something stronger before I go down that road."
Oikawa didn't say anything. He just nodded and went to ask Kamiya for drinks. Haruko looked over to the two of her friends they had left behind – they were hitting it off, although that was mostly thanks to Kamiya's flirting.
Soon after Oikawa came back with a tray of shots. A tray.
"I… I meant one."
"Tell that to your manager, she insisted." he chuckled, sitting down on the sofa again. He took two shots from the tray and handed one to Haruko, who downed it without a flinch.
"Okay…" she exhaled, "So… After Kiyoko broke up with me, I was a mess. And that's putting it lightly. I… did a lot of stupid things as time went by. She broke me into pieces and I did everything I could to put myself back. I was drinking, I was smoking pot with college students, I… slept with some of them."
Haruko stopped, took a deep breath and grabbed another shot from the tray. After slamming the empty shot glass down on the table, she corrected herself.
"I slept with a lot of them. A lot of people in general. I didn't care who it was, guys, girls, anyone, I just… wanted to feel needed again. For any reason at all. Kiyoko made me feel so loved when she was with me, that, when she was gone, I felt completely lost and alone."
Oikawa shut his eyes spewing curse words at himself in his head, remembering their big argument. Knowing this he really wished he hadn't said some things.
"Hey." she said, grabbing his attention, "I know what you're thinking, stop it. You… didn't know."
He parted his lips wanting to say something, but went against it, wanting her to continue.
"So… Because I kept going to college parties, getting high and drunk instead of studying, and began skipping classes… I got left back on my third year. Which meant spending another year around Kiyoko. My parents were furious – they didn't know about me an her, only my sister did, she was a lot more accepting than they were, so to them this was completely out of nowhere. They thought I was 'going through a phase' or some shit. Thankfully we didn't end up in the same class; I would have honestly lost my mind, more than I already had at that point, anyway."
"I continued skipping classes for a while, and kept doing what I was doing, hooking up with random people, partying and so on. In one of those parties, I… met Terushima. You know him, don't you?"
Oikawa nodded.
"A lot of people… have a bad impression of him. What he went through before me is his own story to tell. But, even though we hit it off immediately, we didn't hook up. Well… I admit I slept with him once, but things got a little weird between us after that so we called it quits on that pretty much the next day. He's a good friend; we didn't let that come between us, though he still teases me about it to this day."
Oikawa sat there trying to fight the fact that he was… a little jealous.
"So, one day towards the end of the second semester I was having an extra bad day. I kept seeing Kiyoko all day, despite being able to avoid her most days, and my self-loathing was through the roof. I texted Teru jokingly telling him I wanna go on a road trip and just disappear for a while. To my surprise, he told me he might be able to organize that. Teru was going through some shit at that point too, thankfully he's okay nowadays, but back then he was just as reckless as I was, so we looked after each other. We… tried to, anyway…"
Haruko stopped and let out a sigh, more of a groan really, and reached for another shot. Oikawa noticed her hand was shaking.
"This… this is where I stop, Oikawa. As much as my drunk slash high self wants to trust you, I really can't. And… I don't think I'm ready to re-visit that road, cause… I almost died that night. And," she continued after a pause with a shaky breath, "I saw someone else die moments later."
"Maybe someday I'll be able to tell you, but basically, I did a lot of stupid things after Kiyoko broke up with me. After we came back from that 'road trip', Teru and I didn't talk much. It messed us both up, bad. I decided I can't stay in high school any longer, I can't stay around Kiyoko, and I started studying again. The moment I graduated, though with barely passing grades, I picked the university farthest from Karasuno and moved out. I wasn't ready to move to a new city, but I had to move out of my parents' house at least. That's how I ended up here."
"Not seeing Kiyoko every goddamn day was doing miracles. For months I actually thought I was going to be okay. I was beginning to forget about her. Then, last week, for the first time in months… I saw her here and realized I hadn't forgotten anything. And guess what, I'm going to sound like a complete idiot now," Haruko continued with a sad smile, "cause a part of me actually thought she could be here for me."
"The night I saw her I completely freaked out and my automatic defense mechanism was to call Teru and hang out with him. Even if we hadn't spoken in ages, nothing had changed. That night helped me reset my brain a bit, and, I'll be honest the fight you and I had actually kept my mind off this too." she chuckled.
"But... then I saw her again on Friday and decided to confront her thinking everything will be fine. I'm a whole new person, right?" she smiled and gently shook her head, "The moment I heard her talk, I was back at square one. All the stupid shit I've done was suddenly replaced by her voice, her face, just… her. And of course, my hopes that she was here to see me were going through the roof. Talking to her hurt like hell, because I felt like I was getting lost in her again. But I went out of my way to talk to her every chance I could get. She's… like a drug to me."
Haruko crossed her legs on the sofa and stared at the ground, feeling the lump in her throat get bigger as she went on.
"Fast forward to today, and, well, you saw what happened. She was here because her girlfriend is apparently a fan of The Old House." Haruko rested her elbow on one of her knees and sunk her forehead into her hand. She started silently laughing through tears. "Can you believe-.. How stupid and naïve I am to even think… she was here for me, oh my fucking god-ahahaha..."
Oikawa didn't interrupt. He knew that feeling. He knew she needs a moment to calm down and let her laugh and cry herself out. A minute later she sniffled and collected herself, leaning back on the sofa once again.
"You know what the worst thing is about being naïve? It's hitting the ground harder than anyone else would when things don't work out, because your head was in the clouds and you were floating on false hope the entire time."
The shots were kicking in slowly but surely, and as sad as that was, they helped Haruko calm down and bring her breathing back to normal. The two sat in silence for a while, and soon she felt Oikawa lean back onto the sofa too. She looked at him – his eyes were focused on the ceiling.
Finally, he spoke up.
"When… When I was in my third year of high school, I was dating this girl named Mao. She was in my class, one day we started talking, and eventually dating. And, just like you, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. At first, it started out like a simple high school fling, one of those that don't usually last, but just a few months in I was head over heels for her. We dated for just about a half of a year before she broke up with me. She said… I was too obsessed with volleyball."
"Well, that's a fucking lie."
Oikawa turned his head to the girl and gave her a questioning look.
"No offense dude, but you being obsessed with volleyball isn't really a secret? Didn't she know that comes with the package before you started dating..?" she pondered.
"She did." Oikawa said, focusing back on the ceiling, "That's why I never really believed her. Literally, two days later I found out she was cheating on me, and on top of that, apparently, most of my classmates knew. So not only did I lose the girl of my dreams, I was also betrayed by a lot of people I knew, all in the same week."
He sighed heavily before continuing.
"I asked Iwa-chan to tell the coach I sprained my ankle and I shut myself inside my house, mostly my room, really, for around a week. I told him what happened and he kept coming over, trying to make me go outside or at least get out of bed, but I was way too depressed to do anything. I would just… sleep on most days, for as long as I could, just so I wouldn't have to exist. That girl broke me. In more ways than one."
To Haruko's surprise, she saw his lips curl upwards.
"So, one day, Iwa-chan comes over yet again, I'm lying there in my sweatpants, he stops next to the bed and looks down at me and just goes… 'get up, I'm taking you on a date'. And I'm like… 'what?'."
Haruko couldn't help but chuckle, "You're joking?"
"No!" he shook his head, glancing at her, "I'm completely serious, and to my surprise, so was he. Iwa-chan repeated himself and I sat up, raising my eyebrow at him, and I'm like, fine, alright, he's probably gonna chicken out the moment I agree. This is just some poor stunt to get me out of the house. So, being in a state of 'I literally do not give a fuck anymore', I said sure, let's go."
"What happened after that was… honestly, the best week of my life. He actually went on several dates with me. Like, with hand-holding and everything, it was surreal. First time he insisted on holding my hand I literally started laughing, but he was dead serious. He got me out of the house. He took me to so many places I loved. He made me have a good time. He even won me a shitty stuffed toy at a fair we went to, which - and I swear if you tell anyone, I'm going to kill you – which I still have today. I kept it. As a reminder."
Haruko was getting lost in his story, how fondly he spoke of his best friend, and noticed his face take a more serious appearance again.
"The thing is, unlike you and me… Iwa-chan is the straightest person I know."
The two glanced over to Iwaizumi and Kamiya at the same time – it was painfully obvious the two were flirting.
"And at the end of the week," Oikawa continued, leaning back once again, "I was finally coming to a realization. He went out of his way to cheer me up. Seeing how far he was willing to go, just because he cares and wants to see me happy, was a good enough slap in the face that brought me back to reality."
"Iwa-chan quickly caught on when I went super quiet. We were out that evening, he was walking me home. I turned to him and I was met with an 'are you done?' face and… well, I couldn't help but start laughing and frantically nodding." he smiled, "That moment he said something I had honestly missed hearing – he practically yelled out 'thank fuck', followed by 'how can anyone date you for more than two days' – and that threw me into an even bigger laughing fit, I swear, I was literally holding a sign post so I wouldn't fall down…" he said giggling.
"Now thaaaat's the Iwaizumi I know." Haruko chuckled.
Oikawa sat up normally and reached for the two last shots they had in the tray in front of them. He handed one to Haruko.
"I know that I can't compare to what you went through, especially when I don't even know the half of it, but my point is that… a lot of the time we become too focused on the people we've lost and forget about the people we still have in our lives."
He brought his shot glass to hers and made them do a little 'clink' before downing it.
Haruko, though, was too lost in his words to react – she was staring down at the tiny glass in her hand, thinking them over. After a while, Oikawa snapped her out of it.
"You okay?"
"Huh?" she lifted her head and was met with Oikawa raising his eyebrow, smiling, "Oh, yeah, right."
She blinked and downed the shot as if it was water, then put it on the table. Part of her wanted to recover from their heavy conversation, and part of her was really, really enjoying talking to someone like this. This time, being back at square one was a good thing – they were talking to each other again as if they had known each other for years.
It was time to fix things.
"God, I am so sorry…" she breathed, shaking her head.
Oikawa was taken aback a bit, "What- for what?"
"For what I did, Oikawa. I was an asshole, I was judgmental, and selfish, and so on, I am really sorry. And I'm being honest now – I really did drop all my shitty plans like two days after I actually met you. You're… you're a really good person." the alcohol was really kicking in at this point, so it was a lot easier to say these things than it usually would be, "And you really didn't deserve all the shit I gave you. I really missed talking to you, man."
Oikawa's face softened and he finally let go of the breath he was holding while she was talking. It was his turn now.
"I'm sorry too, Ike-chan… This whole thing blew up to be a lot worse than it could have been if I would have just confronted you instead of being an ass… I missed talking to you, too. And I'm sorry about a lot of things I said…"
He trailed off, looking at the ground, and this was the first time Haruko saw him feeling genuinely guilty.
"Truce?" she said, smiling at him.
He lifted his head and looked at her. Until then Oikawa didn't realize how much he missed seeing her smile and couldn't help but smile himself.
He tucked one leg under another and sat down facing her, then stretched out his arms to the sides, grinning.
"…No." Haruko chuckled, inching away from him.
He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows, still grinning.
"I'm not hugging you."
"Come ooooon." Oikawa whined, slowly moving towards her.
"Nuh-uh, go away-!"
Her sentence was cut off and turned into erratic laughs instead as Oikawa used his leg to boost himself towards Haruko and bring her down into the sofa under him.
"Oomph-" she breathed between laughs and started slapping his back, "Get off meee! You're heavyyy!"
"No!" he said, laughing into her shoulder, "This is a re-initiation into being my friend. Suffer."
"O-i-ka-waaaaa!" she whined under him, trying to knee him in the stomach with her free leg.
"Ow, ow, alright, okay, okay-" he said, lifting himself up, thus ending his 're-initiation'. She sat up too, fixing her hair and grinning at him.
"God, I forgot how touchy-feely you are. Honestly-oh!" she gasped, pointing her finger upwards. "Oh my gosh!"
Oikawa questioningly blinked a few times.
"This song! This sooooong!" Okay, the drinks have fully kicked in for sure, "I, oh my gosh, I used to listen to this all the time when Kiyoko broke up with me ahah-.." she said through giggles.
Oikawa stared at her for a moment, then burst into laughing.
"Hey! You don't see me judging your taste in music!"
"Pff- okay, first of all, I actually love Fall Out Boy too, un-ironically! So that's not what I'm laughing about ahaha-" he said, barely putting his sentence together, "It's just- It's just that I used to listen to the exact same song when my girlfriend broke up with me-ahaha!"
Haruko had a dumbfounded look on her face but soon burst into laughing herself, again. The laughing soon turned into a very crappy rendition of the lyrics they sang together.
As their singing went on, the music started getting louder and the two turned back at the bar where Kamiya was fiddling with their music player's volume, her and Iwaizumi smiling back at them. Haruko watched Kamiya take out a familiar remote and she frantically started waving 'no no no no' at her manager. "He doesn't know about the karao-"
"Oh my god you have karaoke!" Oikawa exclaimed as he saw the projector turn on, nearly falling off the sofa as he was getting up to go get microphones from Kamiya.
"Of course we do! It's a bar, we have karaoke, quiz night, everything! Tell your friends." Kamiya smirked, ready to enjoy the worst drunk karaoke she has ever witnessed.
"Nooooo-" Haruko whined as she followed him to the bar.
"Yeeeees!"
Oikawa shoved one of the microphones into her hand and grabbed her other one to drag her in front of the wall the projector was pointed at. Kamiya made sure to find a YouTube video of that song with lyrics and put it on for them.
"I don't know what your friend told Ikeda-chan…" she whispered to Iwaizumi, "But whatever it was, I'm glad he did."
Iwaizumi nodded and smiled at the two idiots singing their hearts out.
Anything you say can and will be held against you -
So only say my name,
It will be held against you.
Anything you say can and will be held against you -
So only say my naaaame.
Haruko was a little shy for the first, maybe, three words. After that, the two of them let all hell loose and nearly yelled the lyrics on the top of their lungs, throwing in some dance moves into the mix. They danced on their own, together, and sometimes one of them would have to hold the other person up. Mostly it was Oikawa holding Haruko up – the girl was terrible at handling her alcohol. Whatever they did, though, was followed by smiles, laughs, and really terrible singing.
Soon, the song that used to bring them both down, became a song that would remind them of having the time of their lives in a bar after hours.
I want to teach you a lesson!
In the worst kind of way.
Still, I'd trade all my tomorrows,
For just one yesterday,
For just one yesterday.
Their karaoke night didn't end after just one song, they took whatever terrible songs Kamiya threw at them and made them theirs. Eventually both of them ran out of breath and began losing their voices from all the singing. Or yelling. Mostly yelling.
"That was terrible!"
"Absolutely awful!"
Oikawa and Haruko turned back to Kamiya and Iwaizumi who were playfully booing them, and bowed while breathing heavily, making their performance come to an end. They went over to the other two and gave their microphones back.
"Okay, we can stay a little longer but you guys have to help me close up."
A simple task of wiping tables off and putting chairs up on them and the bar was incredibly difficult after the amount of drinks they had. Eventually though, they finished, which they could have done sooner if it wasn't for Oikawa's constant 'hey wait I don't work here' complaining.
After a while they were all sitting on the one bar area they left open, hanging out, dim light surrounding them. It was around 2am.
Haruko was sitting on top of the bar, with Oikawa in front of her on a bar stool, casually resting his chin on her knee every so often. Iwa was next to him, and the manager, Kamiya, was behind the bar on her own stool – someone had to be handing them drinks.
Some time later Iwaizumi left to the bathroom – the moment the door closed behind him Kamiya turned to Oikawa. "Hey, pretty boy."
He lazily turned his attention to her, getting used to the nickname. "Hmm?"
"How old is your friend?"
"Oh my god, Kami-chan…" Haruko breathed, knowing exactly where that's going.
"Eh? Nineteen, why?"
They watched Kamiya mentally count something in her head. She then nodded, reaching under the bar.
"Okay, great," Kamiya said, emerging from under the bar and slamming a bottle of vodka in front of them. "Here you go. Now scram." she added, sliding the bottle towards them and motioning her head towards the door.
Haruko groaned and chuckled at the same time, then slid off the bar top, grabbed the bottle and started heading towards the front door.
"Come on, Oikawa!"
"Wait, is she -hic- bribing us to leave?" he asked.
"Now, dude." she said, motioning him to get up. He did so, still trying to process what is happening, and trying not to trip as he attempts to follow his friend. "I want to be out of here before Kami-chan gets physical – either with us or Iwa, and I'd rather it be Iwa." Haruko stated, holding a hand out for Oikawa to grab.
Holding onto each other they left the bar, only hearing Iwaizumi's faint voice of 'hey where are they goin-' behind them as the door closed. Snickering like children, they began going home together.
Oikawa wasn't going to let Haruko go home alone – despite the fact that she goes home at this hour all the time from work, and despite the fact that he was too drunk to protect her or even himself from any kind of threat. And considering that she packed quite a punch… she didn't exactly need protection.
If he was being honest, he just wanted to spend more time with her.
The cold air sobered them up just enough to be able to walk home without tripping every two steps, though the volume of their voices was still a little too loud. Besides that, the two were drinking vodka straight out of the bottle – Kamiya most likely gave them the bottle for Haruko to mix some drinks up, but neither of them cared much about that anymore.
What was supposed to be a fifteen minute walk home turned into a forty minute stroll, with them making a wrong turn twice – and for once Oikawa wasn't the one to blame because he didn't even know where Haruko lived.
Chatting, drinking and laughing away, the two were finally on a street that led straight to Haruko's apartment complex.
"Hey, hey hey hey." she nudged Oikawa.
"Hmmm?"
She dramatically held her phone in the air and pressed 'Play' on the YouTube video she had found. The song they originally sang in the bar was blasting through her phone speakers, making it a little distorted, but enough to get a snort out of Oikawa and get them singing again.
Clinging to each other they wobbled towards her apartment complex singing their hearts out once again, earning a few 'hey, shut the fuck up, people are trying to sleep' from the neighbors, which they completely ignored.
"Awww that's your stop." Oikawa started, breathing heavily, looking at the building she lived in, "I already miss you Ike-chaaaan."
"What, no no no, you're coming with me. There's no way you're going home alone when you're this wasted, you can sleep on the couch." Haruko grabbed his wrist and dragged him along, "Come -hic- on."
Thankfully, Oikawa didn't protest, though the moment they walked out of the fresh air and into the apartment complex, they were met with the heating inside, and the alcohol kicked right back in - it was really hard to walk again. Dragging Oikawa along, as well as using him as support for standing, Haruko made her way towards the elevator, mumbling that there's no way they're taking the stairs.
The elevator made a 'ding!' and the door opened in front of them – Haruko, humming their song, dragged Oikawa in and pushed the button for the 8th floor, and held onto Oikawa who was leaning on the wall, both breathing heavily. She leaned her forehead on his shoulder, still humming the song.
The elevator was… really slow. And shaky.
Oikawa put his arm around her shoulder for support and leaned his head back on the wall, closing his eyes and listening to her soft humming.
Everything was spinning.
"Hey." she muttered.
He lazily opened his eyes and blinked a few times. Did he space out?
No, they were still in the same elevator, still going up.
He looked down to find Haruko looking at him from the corner of her eye, still resting her forehead on his shoulder and holding his wrist for support. "Don't- Don't close your eyes, it'll make it bad-der… Worse. I mean worse." she chuckled. The girl then pulled away slightly, though not enough for Oikawa to let go – his hand was still wrapped around her shoulders.
He couldn't take his eyes off her.
Haruko lifted both her hands to his face and took his glasses off.
"You don't need these if you're just gonna have you eyes closed." she teased, putting them on, "They look better on me anyway."
Oikawa stood with his lips parted slightly, starting to realize just how close she is.
And... starting to realize that he had nothing left to hate her for.
Why do I always want to do something stupid when I'm around you?
The song she was humming just a little while ago was stuck in his head.
He was… gone.
He started whispering the song as he moved his hands up to her face.
"Anything you say can and will be held against you…"
He slowly took the glasses off her and held them behind her head, pulling her close enough to feel her breath on his lips. He didn't take his eyes off her own the entire time, not even for a second.
Haruko was getting lost in those eyes. They were curious, they were lost, they were… needy.
"So only say my name, it will be held against you…"
She could have said anything. She could have pulled away. She could have done anything that wasn't what she did.
"Oikaw-"
He didn't wait. The moment he heard the first syllable of his name he pulled her in and closed the gap between them, making their lips meet.
Haruko woke up really early in the morning, shivering. She had no idea what could have gone on in that tiny brain of hers to think it's a good idea to sleep with nothing but her underwear when it's so cold – she reasoned she was probably drunk and warm when she went to bed, and her drunk self is not to be trusted in good decision making.
She was lying on her side, eyes half shut, her hand scurrying around the floor, looking for her phone. Once she finally found it she unlocked it, regretting the action immediately as she hadn't turned the brightness down the night before – staring at the sun itself was not the first thing she wanted to do when she woke up. Slowly, Haruko's eyes adjusted to the brightness, and, still squinting, she made out the time on her phone – it was 7am. Her alarm was set for an hour later, which is when she should be getting up to get ready for university.
Well, there was no way she was going to get any sleep when she was freezing, so if she wanted to get another hour of sleep, she was going to have to get up and find some clothes.
That was a difficult task. Baby steps – she sat up first, groaning.
I really need to stop drinking on Sundays.
Before Haruko could continue on her journey of getting some warm clothes, her attention was caught by something shuffling next to her.
Or, rather, someone.
Her eyes darted immediately at the direction the sudden movement came from.
"OH SHI-"
She slammed her own hand over her mouth.
Wide-eyed, Haruko watched the person next to her shuffle slightly and continue sleeping.
Oikawa Tooru was in her bed.
AN: This chapter is about 4.5x longer than usual. I'm… I'm great at rationing my chapters, really. But in all honesty, I don't think I could have split this one. I'm really happy with how it came out. I even decided to change the summary to have a quote from this chapter.
Anyway it's NSFW time B) we need a flashback to what happened, now, don't we?
Also it's kinda hard to headcanon Iwa as a straight boi? But I realized I accidentally made at least 3 characters bi (Haruko, Oiks and Teru definitely) so I had to ration it out somehow lmao I'm sorry everyone is cute help me...
Also x2 growing up just means you get to experience all your teenage interests with less internalized shame! This includes fanfiction and fall out boy. Just One Yesterday is a good song.
I'll see you all in hell, lads.
(Also x3: 100 kudos on ao3? And almost 40 reviews on ff net? Oh gosh? I've read such good fanfics and really thought mine is less than mediocre and you guys are really making me feel better about it I love you all, I'm really driven to take this all the way! We're only about halfway in actually.)