/Common sense is a game

Many people don't like to play

Give in and the moment

Takes you either way/

Chapter Fourteen

I slowly clawed my way out of sleep, shoulder throbbing gently along the stitches. Although it felt like ages since I had gotten to Relena's from the hospital, from the time on the digital clock, it had only been one night. It looked like it was late evening, so I must have fallen asleep after trying to get Duo on the phone. The drugs were still fogging my brain, though I could feel them wearing off again.

I groaned, letting my head drop back onto the pillow.

Something bad had happened.

I wished I could recall what, but it was so hard to grasp anything through the haze that had descended. I carefully steeled myself and tried to relax, to find a calm center so I could organize my memories and thoughts.

I could remember a lot of pain, though, a lot of burning in my shoulder because I hadn't taken the painkillers on time. I knew something had happened earlier in the day on the phone, but I couldn't put my finger on what. Something with Duo. Or maybe someone else. Maybe Hilde? I think so.

Damn it!

I had paid dearly for my precious moments of drug-free clarity and they had been useless. I don't think I'd even gotten to speak to Duo. My shoulder was still dully burning though I wasn't sure if it actually hurt or if I were just vividly remembering. To add insult to injury, the bandages now itched. A lot.

My mind was still cloudy when I heard a knock on the doorframe.

"Heero?" Relena's voice dragged me from the depths of grogginess. I opened my eyes and tried to focus on her form in the doorway.

"Yeah?" I sat up and yawned, rubbing my eyes tiredly as I tried to retain consciousness.

The phone hit me lightly in the stomach and fell into my lap. The little red power light glared at me in the darkness as I picked it up and gave Relena a curious look. "Quatre." She informed me quietly, offering me a smile. "Dinner's almost ready so head down when you're done."

I nodded, memory coming back slowly as I woke up fully. "Thanks, I will." I couldn't believe I'd spent the entire day asleep. After Hilde had hung up on me, I could hardly think for the slivering pain in my shoulder. I cursed myself for being stupid enough to refrain from taking the pain medication when I woke the first time. I hadn't had a clearer head. The conversation was washing over me now as I pressed the cell phone to my ear, wondering how Relena had gotten it. "Hello?"

"Hi!" Quatre quipped cheerfully. "How are you feeling? 'Lena said you've been down, but she wouldn't tell me anything else."

"She doesn't know anything else." I stated, leaning back against the pillows.

His voice instantly sounded concerned. "Something happen?"

"You mean beside the fight with Duo at the hospital?"

"You're not still cross because of that, are you?" I can't stand it when he sounds appalled, especially when it was with something that's my fault. It made me feel like the entire situation was completely stupid and uncalled for. I hated it. "You know how Duo is, Heero. Why don't you just call him?"

"I did." I said stonily. Gently, I rubbed the back of my head and tried to force myself to think of the situation at hand. I didn't want to trust Hilde's word but as of right now she was the one living with him, not me. Logic said she would know better.

Quatre was polite enough to not say anything immediately. I'm sure he thought very carefully before speaking. "How did that go?"

"Apparently he doesn't want to talk to me."

He made an incredulous noise. "He said that?"

"Not exactly." I shifted the phone to my other ear and sighed. "If he won't listen to me how am I supposed to accomplish anything? I couldn't even get him on the phone."

"Maybe it's still a little soon. He'll come around." Unfortunately Quatre lacked the proper conviction to make me believe him.

"You don't know that." I accused softly. I knew he meant well, but the future wasn't looking very bright.

"He always has in the past, hasn't he?"

"He's never told me he hated me." I whispered, voice catching. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my forehead on them. "I don't know if he's ever told anyone he hated them."

"Oh come on now." Quatre soothed. "You and I both know he didn't mean that. He even said so right afterwards. He just needs some time to calm down and think this all out properly. Stuff like this has happened before. We've all had to deal with Duo having a fit over something at one time or another."

I groaned. He was right but it wasn't helping. "So what? Am I just supposed to sit here and wait?"

"Actually, that's what I was calling about. I was thinking about something you said last week, something about Duo getting a guide dog."

"Yeah…" I was waiting for a point.

"Well, so? I took the liberty of looking into it this morning, but guide dogs aren't common at all. Someone's going to have to personally train one. Relena said you'd have a better idea than she would."

"Quatre, I can do a lot of things most other people alive can not. Training dogs, however, is not one of them."

"You're telling me you couldn't find someone who could?"

He had a very valid point, now that I saw it. "What about Trowa?" I suggested a moment later.

"Trowa doesn't train animals." Quatre said confusedly.

"Yes I know. Someone at the circus does, right?"

"I suppose so. Oh, hold on." There were muffled voices in the background as Quatre quickly covered the phone. I waited patiently for several minutes as they discussed something. Finally, he returned and sighed. "I'm sorry, I've got to run. Can you call Trowa and get back to me tomorrow?"

"Sure."

I clicked the phone shut and tossed it gently onto the nightstand. Taking a look around I realized I was still in Relena's room. Well, whatever. I managed to get myself out of the bed and padded across the room to her desk. Opening the small vid-screen there, I took a seat and tried to remember the number to the circus with which Trowa traveled. Eventually I tapped out a number I thought was right and got a curious looking Catherine on the screen.

"Heero?"

I blinked. Catherine didn't normally answer the vid-screen calls. "Cathy I need to speak to Trowa for a minute."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I just wanted to talk."

She gave me a skeptical look, but disappeared off the screen. I could hear background noise as I settled back to wait. For all I knew Trowa hadn't even made it back to them yet. I knew that they had just made a trip to Earth, so they might not have been very far away from us. I heard someone returning and the screen turned to static for a moment before it began to clear.

"Trowa?" I asked as soon as the image on the vid-screen resolved itself.

"Yes?" He gave me a confused look.

"I need a dog."

"…A dog?" I received a look that clearly said my friend thought I was insane. "Can you take care of a dog?"

I allowed myself a faint smile. I had a hard enough time keeping my own life in working order, after all. "It's not for me."

"Relena…?" He guessed, confused.

"No, Duo."

There was a long silence as Trowa stared at me. "Duo?" He asked at last. "Heero, he can't take care of a dog."

"A guide dog."

He sighed, closing his eyes for a second before taking a deep breath. "There aren't any guide dog programs anymore. It was the first thing I asked Thomas when I got back last night."

"I know. If we got a pup, could we train it ourselves?"

Silence fell as he considered it. I'm sure his mind traced over the same paths mine had when Quatre suggested it. Properly trainable dogs were not the most common creatures of the world unless you had a lot of money. Finding one would be hard enough, not even considering finding one that could be properly trained in the manner we needed it to be. If we managed to find one there was still the problem of the actual training. I knew it wasn't impossible, though, because I had seen a man with a guide dog as a child. That's why I had suggested it to Duo in the first place. Someone out there knew how to train them, and if there was anything I was good with it was finding things.

"I guess." He concluded at last. "I'll ask Thomas about it."

"Thank you. I'll call back tomorrow." The vid-screen went dark and I leaned back in my chair again.

"Mr. Yuy?" A quiet voice asked from outside the door.

I closed the vid-screen as I grabbed my shirt and pulled it over my head. "Yeah?" I called, hunting down my shoes.

"I am sorry to bother you, sir, but Miss Relena wishes to know if you'll quote, 'be down sometime this century'. What should I tell her?"

I growled when I recognized the voice and opened the door. "Kirsten… How nice. Tell her to stop hyperventilating. I'll be down in a minute." She smiled and turned to go. "And how many times do I have to tell you to call me Heero?"

She only gave me a cheeky grin and tried to keep from actually running down the hallway. Kirsten was one of the younger maids in the manor at just over twelve years old. Duo had found her after a battle we got caught up in practically eradicated her city and we had taken her to Relena, not knowing what else to do. Her family and friends were gone, her home was no longer standing, and she wouldn't have had anywhere else to turn.

She had spent almost half a year being nasty to us because of that battle. Eventually Relena got through and convinced her that we were all doing the best we could to ensure an end to the war. After that she had apologized to us and asked Relena if she could help around the grounds. The head of the kitchen staff had immediately taken the girl under her wing. She still had a very feisty personality. It was always nice to see her doing well.

I grabbed a pill from the open container on the nightstand but the small water glass no longer had water in it. Sighing, I left the bedroom, heading for the dining hall. The corridors were vacant, echoing with the wind outside the huge windows. The Peacecraft manor was not a scary place by nature. It wasn't even a little intimidating, not to me. Sometimes, however, I caught myself wondering what kinds of ghosts wandered the building in the dead of night.

It gave me chills.

I hurried along, wishing I could rid myself of the spider-webs on my skin feeling of being watched. Eventually I reached the dining area and slipped inside. It was empty save for a single figure sitting idly toward one end. There was a large platter covered in a silvery dome sitting in front of her and several glasses of water in a cluster at the next seat. She looked up when I entered, and offered me a smile as I slipped into a seat.

"Nice of you to join the living." Relena said amusedly from where she sat, leaning back in her chair.

"Funny." I grimaced, downing the pill in my hand with a sip from one of the water glasses on the table. "What's the news of the day?"

She let out a tired breath and closed her eyes, her head dropping back against the headrest. "Everyone's been throwing fits over that stupid guerilla group."

"The what?"

"The Marauders." She groaned, opening one eye to look at me. "They haven't let up yet and no one will settle anything as long as they are still causing a problem and threatening the peace."

"Have they issued a statement? Demands?" I questioned, taking a seat and lifting the top off of a silver serving platter. I gave Relena a wry look when I saw the sandwiches piled there.

She smiled innocently then shook her head. "You were right- they're looking for something. We just don't know what or why. We don't even know where they came from."

"Do you think they are working for any of the current nation leaders?" I questioned dubiously, taking a bit of sandwich. They were actually pretty good.

"I don't honestly know. Everyone claims to be unassociated but if that's true we have an even bigger problem. If no one we know is responsible for the attacks that means there is a whole new power of unknown size and strength that we know nothing about."

I settled back and let that information sink in as I chewed. She huffed in frustration and leaned forward to nick a half a sandwich and think as well. It was troubling to say the least, and not at all pleasant to think about. This wasn't just small stuff any longer. We were up against a faceless, untraceable enemy.

During the early stages and toward the end of the war there had been very clear cut lines. Especially at the end of the war. There were the Colonies, the Earth Sphere, OZ, and of course us, the gundam pilots. We were a force of our own working toward peace. There had been other forces, major ones. Romafeller came and went like a tide. Treize and Milliardo had battled constantly, sometimes against each other, sometimes against a common foe. They were there through most of the war, though, and it seemed strange not to have them now that the war was over. The Marauders might have made sense if Treize were still around. We might have even been able to politely negotiate.

Actually, Treize had always been a bit of an ass, in my opinion. It wasn't so much what he did as how he did it that makes me think that way. He knew what he wanted and he worked toward that no matter what happened to his name along the way. By the time Wu Fei finally killed him his name had been dragged through the mud and picked up and polished more times than I can count on both my hands. The thing was, though, that no matter what happened, no matter what else was going on in the war… everyone knew where Treize stood. He declared his enemies and allies in very clean cut black and white.

It was the same way with Milliardo, when he was alive. You always knew if he was with you or against you. That was one of the things I liked about those two. They took full responsibility for their actions and never took the cowardly way out of anything. If there was going to be a battle they would meet it face to face, head held high. They expected no less from themselves, their soldiers, and each other. None of the pussy-footing around that Romafeller and OZ had done.

Thinking about that, though, made me realize that who ever the Marauders were working with or under they were not any part of something Treize or Milliardo had devised.

At last, I sighed and looked over to Relena, who was staring moodily into space. "It's probably not very complicated." I offered, gaining her attention. "The Marauders are probably just whatever is left of OZ. We killed the major leaders, but there were probably enough minors to pull together a small fighting force."

"I don't know." She countered, obviously doubtful. "That doesn't make sense. OZ wasn't stupid, or at least wasn't that stupid. I'd imagine that if they had only a small force they would have the brains to sit tight. Why would they bother striking at us right now?"

"Trust." I stated simply. "No one's taking the blame but ten to one says that everyone is trying to assign it to one of the others."

"Divide and conquer." Relena looked sharply at me. "They couldn't possibly hope to actually accomplish something on that scale, could they?"

I shrugged. "From what they are doing they seem rash enough to try."

"With so few…" She murmured, taking a bite of her sandwich.

I watched her for a few heartbeats before returning to my own dinner. I could feel the slight tug of the drugs as they began their cycle, but I ignored it. My body was already adapting to the chemical agent, learning how to function around it. I hoped that it wouldn't get in the way of its numbing properties, as well, because being able to feel my shoulder again had already proven to be a bad experience.

"What did Quatre have to say to you?"

I glanced over, swallowing quickly. "Not a lot."

"He called earlier today, as well, but apparently you were out cold. He left a message about a guide dog. Did he talk to you about that?"

I really hated when she already knew something and only asked me out of politeness. I had to guess that it was a female thing because Hilde did it, too. None of the guys danced around asking a direct question.

"Yes." I responded quietly.

"Well?"

I gave her a questioning look and shifted in my seat. "Well what?"

"Are you going to?" She asked, rolling her eyes.

"We're going to try."

"Good. I'll have Pagan look into it, as well. He's good at finding things."

"Pagan?" I echoed, confused.

"Yes." She waved it off with a shake of her head. "Anyhow, are you going to call him?"

"Pagan?" I repeated, more confused.

"Look, Heero, if you can't keep up with the conversation." She grinned at me and I knew she was only teasing me. "Duo. Are you going to call?"

"I already did."

"Oh. And?" She prompted, leaning forward curiously.

I dropped my gaze to my hands and shook my head. "Maybe I will call back later." I pushed my chair out and got to my feet. "Please excuse me."

Dragging my feet, I made a stop by Relena's room before walking the distance back to my own room. I had needed to pick up my phone anyhow. As I walked I dialed Duo's cell phone number, instead of the house. Hopefully he would be the one to answer, not Hilde. I was mildly surprised when it didn't even ring, automatically switching to the voice mail after just a few seconds. Unprepared to leave a message, I blinked and allowed several seconds of dead air before I managed to find my voice.

"Duo, it's Heero. We need to talk, please give me a call when you get this message. I'll try back later."

I silently cursed as I shut the phone. He must have turned it off. There was really no other logical explanation. Maybe he didn't see a use to leaving it on, now that he had a real phone at the house.

Sighing, I gently pushed open the door to my room and tossed the phone onto the bed. What I needed was a good shower. A nice, long bath where I could relax and properly think about everything. I pulled my shirt off over my head and tossed it near the phone. Practically tearing the itchy bandages off, I headed for the bathroom. I knew that taking a shower and/or bath like I planned would leave a lot of room for infection, what with the stitches and all, but I wanted one so badly I didn't care. It wasn't as if I could feel my shoulder anyhow. Someone could have taken a knife to it and I probably wouldn't have flinched.

After undressing, I drew a bath and sat on the edge of the tub, watching the tendrils of steam extend lazily into the air. My fingertips just barely touched the surface of the water, creating ripples that turned in on themselves when they hit the other side. For a few minutes it felt like time held no meaning. I could have sat there for the rest of eternity, watching the steam and ripples of the bath. I could have been content to forget and let myself drift away.

Shaking my head I lifted my feet as I rotated and slid into the almost scalding water. I don't know why but for some reason I had always like my water almost uncomfortably hot. Maybe it was because it soothed me, the gentle burn just close enough to painful to remind me I was still alive. Maybe it was because it discouraged most people from trying to join me. I closed my eyes, letting my muscles relax as I smiled.

Yeah, I could have just locked the door any time I showered, but it was far funnier to watch the others slip in with me only to realize it felt skin-meltingly hot. I particularly remember the first time Quatre made an attempt at showering with me without checking the temperature. He had tried to hop out again so fast that he had taken the entire shower curtain down with him. The noise sent Wu Fei and Trowa running in to make sure no one was dead, only to find Quatre in a heap on the floor and me collapsed in a corner of the still running shower, laughing so hard I thought I would cry.

I'm not usually one for laughing, really. I used to be. I used to laugh all the time when I was younger. There was a line that I crossed, however, and could never find again to uncross. When I think back I try to remember the point in my life where I finally realized how serious the war was, and how far reaching its effects were. The time I realized how many people it killed, guilty or not. I could never really tell exactly when I'd become so jaded. I only know that I had and that I couldn't go back.

Sometimes, though, I remembered what it was to laugh. There were times, hanging out with the other gundam pilots, that I could almost forget there was a war. I could forget that tomorrow we had to kill again. I could pretend that I had a normal life and that I was a normal teenage kid out for some fun with his best friends. It's funny because I am not sure there was anything I deserved less than happiness in the face of everything I had done.

I sighed, sinking low into the cooling water and closing my eyes. I hated thinking like that. It never did me any good and always seemed to actually make a situation worse. I didn't like trying to pull myself out of it once I'd begun, and the bath was already getting colder than I wanted to stick around for. With a dismayed groan I hauled myself out of the tub and snatched a towel off the rack next to the toilet. One of the big, white, fluffy ones that I love.

I very carefully patted the stitches and the area around them as dry as I could and rooted around in the top drawer by the sink. I could swear I had put the anti-biotic salve in there. Sure enough, I quickly found the yellow and orange tube. I coated the angry red flesh of my shoulder with it, grateful that I couldn't feel a thing. I can only imagine how much it would have hurt.

I didn't have bandages in the bathroom but I knew there were more in my bag. I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to rewrap my shoulder on my own, but I decided I would find a way. After rubbing my hair at least a little dry, I slung the towel around my waist, grabbed my discarded clothes, and headed for my room.

"Well that's not something I wanted to see right before bed," came a drawling, sweet voice from my right side.

"Kirsten!" I choked, startled. "What are you doing in here?"

She rolled her eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Waiting for you, duh."

"No shit." I snapped, tossing the rest of my clothes over with where I had dropped my shirt earlier.

"Hey, watch your language. There are little kids in the room." She poked, though I could tell she was only teasing me.

"What do you want? I'm a little busy."

"If you're gonna be so nasty I'll just leave!" She exclaimed. "Don't you need someone to help you bandage your shoulder anyhow?"

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it out before I continued. I hadn't been around to visit her in ages and snapping wouldn't do any good. Aside from that, she was right. I did need help. "I'm just a little stressed and I need to get to sleep soon. I'd appreciate your assistance."

"You know," she began, catching the roll of clean white gauze I tossed in her direction, "your friend Trowa called while you were in there, but he said he would call you back tomorrow morning."

"Did he?"

"Yeah, that's why I came here." She made me sit and set to work making sure my sutures were clean as she began to wrap my shoulder. "Well, that and I wanted to see if you'd talk for a bit. I haven't seen you in forever cause you hardly ever stay here long."

"I know, I'm sorry." I let her finish before I stood, keeping a firm grip on my towel. "Turn." I requested.

She got to her feet and turned around so that her back was facing me. I studied her for a moment to make sure she wasn't going to turn around again before I rifled through my duffle bag and found something clean to wear.

"So where's Duo?" She began as I dressed. "You all stopped in not too long ago but I didn't make it down in time to say hello."

"We're having a bit of trouble right now." I said ambiguously.

"What did you do this time?" I could hear the grin in her voice and I shot the back of her head a sour glare for it. "Or is it none of my business?" She asked cheekily.

"Just things. You know how we all take sadistic pleasure in accepting blame so others don't have to. Duo got mad, I got upset, Duo got upset, Quatre got mad at us both and I haven't heard from Duo since then."

"You tried calling?"

"Why does everyone ask me that?" I wondered, pulling my shirt on over my head. "Does it seem like I wouldn't?"

"Well, yes. Did you?"

"Of course I did. Twice."

"And?"

"Hilde picked up and told me to fuck off, and he's not answering his cell phone. Excuse my language."

"They involved her in this?" Her disgust was almost tangible.

No one has really figured out why Kirsten hated Hilde so much. Hilde's never done anything to merit the distaste, and Kirsten wasn't an unreasonable person most of the time. I had always just assumed it was because Hilde was so close to Duo. That didn't really make much sense, though, because I was closer to Duo than anyone and Kirsten still liked me. She liked the other boys, too, despite their own relations with him. I chalked it up to Hilde being the only girl really close to Duo like we were.

"She is one of his best friends." I pointed out. "You can turn around again."

"Yeah," she quipped, turning and glaring. "but she's just gonna cause trouble if she wants Duo for herself."

"It's really up to Duo." I said quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed.

She frowned. "That's a really crappy way to go about it, you know?" She walked across the room and took a seat next to me. "It's a two way path that only works when you meet in the middle."

I looked over and gave her a skeptical look. "So now I'm taking love advice from a twelve year old?" I joked softly.

"Yeah." She grinned in the same manner Duo always did just before he said something really stupid. "And it'll be the best advice you ever get."

"Yeah? Who told it to you?" I inquired teasingly.

"Sasya." She admittedly with a pout. "She's pretty smart sometimes."

Sasya was one of the live-in maids of the manor and one of the only adults that Kirsten respected without question. She had adopted Sasya as her mom almost as soon as she met the woman, and they had gotten along beautifully since then. I never really spoke to the staff, but Sasya had greeted me on occasion. I knew she didn't really approve of many of the things we all did, but thankfully her beliefs had never transferred to Kirsten.

"Isn't it past your bedtime?"

"No." She pouted, though she got to her feet. "I can decide when to go to bed, thank you."

I smiled again and nodded. "If you say so."

"I do!" She insisted, giving me a mocking glare. "Just cause I'm younger than you doesn't mean I can't do things."

"I know." I watched her head for the door. "Goodnight."

She lay a hand on the door handle and turned just enough to see me. "Good luck, y'know? Night."

She left quietly and I lay back, shoving my clothes to the floor just in time to remember that my cell phone was among them. I winced at the solid clunk it made upon hitting the floor and peeked over to find it. I reached down, fishing it out and setting it on the nightstand. I stared at it for a long time, watching the lamplight glitter off the reflective, silvery surface.

Kirsten, or rather Sasya, was right. Whatever happened would be a result of what both Duo and I chose to do. I couldn't just give up on him. I wasn't going to walk away without resolving something for real.

It felt odd, taking the advice of an adult even if it was through the voice of a child. Sure, the doctors had been old, but that didn't make them adults and certainly hadn't made them mature. I tried hard to remember any sort of adult influence on my life. I vaguely remembered when I lived with Odin, but he had never really been around for talking. I'd met Howard on occasion, but he wasn't really the type to take too much advice from. The only other real adults I could remember seriously talking to were Treize and Lady Une, both of whom were never really that sound of judgment.

I sighed, closing my eyes and turning onto my back once more. It didn't really matter, anyhow, I thought as I fell asleep. I'd never needed adults before, why did I need them now?

It's not like I didn't know what I was doing… Maybe.

/End Chapter Fourteen, Through the Storm/