Once Clyde was downloaded, I was stuck just on the other side of the room, trying to stay out of the way of his download beam. Which was easy enough, but he alo held every single piece of data we'd learnt about Stryx anatomy.

Including my perfect hearing and it's weakness.

Mr Smith emitted a pitch that triggered my brain to temporarily shut down, making me black out, slumped in a place I'd often been known to nap in, my bag hugged to my chest. By the time I came to, mum was in the room with Maria, having called out our psychopathic computer before I could stop them.

"Because you got it wrong, Mr Smith." Maria was telling him as I got up quickly as I could, grabbing a metal tea tray to reflect the beam in case. "They weren't Luke's parents. They're Slitheen." Again? Did they have a death wish?

Only Mr Smith was now laughing, giving away that he had been in on their plan the whole time. Chances were, it was his plan, the green things weren't exactly that smart. "Humans. So inevitably predictable."

Queue Alan bursting in to inform us what I already knew because he ate my boyfriend. "Get out! Get out now! Mr Smith, he's one of the bad guys!"

"Don't be ridiculous."

Mother, now was not the time for you to actually have faith in something I'd built. Who was it who told us those people were Luke's parents, mum?

"Mr Smith, what's going on?"

"I have a purpose. It must be fulfilled." He replied. "The Slitheen have been useful, and so have you. But you are no longer required."

He started to shoot at us as Alan ushered us out the attic. Only I ran into my room first, ignoring mums complaints, grabbing my armoured chestplate and my Katana, before running out with them. "Where the hell did you get that?!"

Hell. I signed in reply, simply shrugging on the jacket. Two weeks for you was a year for me. These are a few souvenirs from my time on the front line.

But then we were out of the house, my blade safely sheathed at me hip as mum stared in horror at our home, where there was now a mad computer. "I trusted him with my life. With the whole planet. With my children."

"What's happened to him?"

"I don't know." Alan told his daughter as my mother looked wary of me. Well, she didn't expect to ever give birth to a murderous butterfly, as everyone liked to tell me I was. "Some kind of computer virus?"

I looked hopefully at him. Clyde?

"Yeah, come on." Only as he started to use some weird messenger thing on his computer, there was no sign of my boyfriend being online. "It wasn't online messaging. He was just there. He wanted to make sure Niara was OK." Cly... "I've never seen anything like it before."

We have to find out what's going on.

"Do you think what's happened to Mr Smith has anything to do with Luke and the Slitheen?"

Duh, what else would it be. It must have. I signed to mum to translate for Maria and her dad. But how?

Alan was asking good questions. He'd made a good companion. "How could Mr Smith have some connection with the Slitheen? I mean, where did he come from?"

Mum took over explaining, knowing it as well as I did. "The biggest volcanic eruption the world has ever seen. 18 months ago, when Nia and I were researching volcanic activity for her Geology Degree, a friend of mine in the same field sent us a crystal from the site of Krakatoa. The crystal had become quite a curiosity among geologists. They'd never seen anything like it. Neither had we, and my Niara had already read all the books. But they didn't see what we did.

"It was as if the crystal was communicating with our laptop and using it to communicate with us. It was a memory cell of a spacecraft that crashed millions of years ago. IT's computing power, it's knowledge, it was phenomenal. It told us amazing things. It said it could help us keep track of aliens coming to Earth, could help us protect the Earth. But conventional technology was too limited. So Niara used some basic plans to design and create Mr Smith."

"So why after all this time turn against you?"

There was no time for this. We have to work it out as we go. We gave Luke to the Slitheen, we need to find him. Whatever they want with him, I have to get him back.

Our Muggle Ally was a little confused still. "They want to use him like the Bane, to invade."

His daughter shook her head. "The Slitheen don't invade planets. They're not a race, they're a family. They're a bunch of scavengers and chancers. Its Only Fools and Horses with green skin and claws."

"Slitheen are dealers, they sell anything. And in some parts of the galaxy, telekinetic energy fetches a huge price." Mother, how had this topic moved to telekinesis? "Slitheen could have got the plans for the telekinetic energiser from the other side of the galaxy, had it built at the Pharos Institute." Pharos? Really? Prof Rivers was the equivalent of a saleswoman, not a scientist. "I knew there was a reason I didn't care for that Nathan."

Alan was now very confused. "Hang on. Telekinetic energy? What, like moving things with your mind?"

Luke's mind. I realised. The most incredible brain on the planet when it comes to memory power, better even than mine. If the Slitheen can harness it, Luke's telekinetic powers could be massive. The Slitheen never leave anything behind that they can sell, my brother will die. We have to find him, and mum knows where to look.

"Have you got any vinegar?" Mum asked Alan as we started to head for the door. Only they were out. "Oh. Then we may have to stop off at a chip shop."

Which we did at a mobile chippy, Maria's father well and truly confused by the plan. "Right, so never mind Phasers or Photon Torpedoes," Star Trek, "never mind Arnie's Uzi Nine Millimeter," Terminator, "we're taking on these aliens with bottles of vinegar from the chippy?"

Mum nodded as we got back into the car, my sword in my lap, sharp and deadly. "It's acetic acid. Slitheen are calcium life forms. Calcium and acetic acid don't mix, trust me." Yup. Maria and Clyde got a little gunked up.

"Sure, why not?"

We made it to the institute in one piece, my mother's gaze shifting to my well worn armour every few minutes, but she didn't say anything. But the institute was ever so slightly trashed. What happened here?

"With a little luck, Luke did." Mum replied, before I moved quickly to hold the sword to the throat of the Slitheen currently waking up. "What going on? What have you done with my son? My daughter will not hesitate, so speak quickly."

Mrs Stafford, the woman almost as strong as me, groaned as bottles of vinegar were aimed at her. "The misbehaving little brat? Back on Raxacoricofallapatorius, we'd spank his backside with a Bartleboigle tree." I swear to God, they just make these things up.

"He got away." A familiar voice told is, before a child grabbed Maria and I went to hit him with the sword instead. "But that doesn't matter. You killed my father, Sarah Jane and Niara Smith. At the school?" Kid I'd killed a lot more people in that space of time, most of whom came back to life now that the Year was reversed.

Only mum remembered. "You were the Slitheen child?" Wait, the chubby kid people were slapping at school? "I didn't want any of you to die, but you were going to kill our entire planet."

Alan was still aiming vinegar at him. "Get away from my daughter you overgrown newt!" It was official, I was teaching everyone better insults.

"You drop your weapons, or she dies. That includes you, Princess."

I growled without sound, but laid my sword down as Alan put his vinegar into the steel bin Mrs Stafford was holding. "Right. Let her go, frog face." It was only getting worse. I felt like I was on a kids programme.

Maria was released as I signed something for mum to translate. "What now?"

"Now we contact the Xylok. Get this deal back on the rails, given that e now have the even more powerful Princess instead."

Yeah, not happening. The Xylok?

"You know him as Mr Smith." I'd already worked that out. "He contacted us. He said that he had see what you both did to my family. He wanted to help us get revenge."

"Well, if that was the case, why did Mr Smith send me here to find the telekinetic energiser?" This was apparently news to all of them. "It's all been part of his plan. He brought you to Earth to build the telekinetic energiser. He told me to come here looking for it."

"I don't understand."

Well, neither did I and I was the smartest person in the room. Neither do I. Not yet. But I think I know the last part of his plan is falling into place. Mr Smith knew that Lule would escape. And he knew that when he did he would run straight back to our house. Right back to him.

"So what does Mr Smith want with Luke?"

My mother held the information this time. "And the telekinetic energiser headset. Mr Smith had me steal one of them. The prototypes in our attic."

The child wasn't in the mood to listen. "I don't care. I'll deal with the Xylok later. We don't need him to avenge our family."

Bitch please, I could use my tail to grab my sword before you could raise a claw. If you kill us, you'll never stop Mr Smith and you'll never get off this planet alive.

"Save your breath, you'll need it when the screaming starts." He went to go for me, but I grabbed my blade and held it up to defend myself. Only the adult male stepped in and stopped him. "Get off me! Let me go! She's my kill! A claw for a claw!"

"When you're older, you'll learn not to make snap decisions." Then he looked at my mother, who was basically my translator. "Now, what do you mean?"

"Something Mr Smith said about the telekinetic energiser. With the right mind, it could be a destroyer of worlds. He meant Luke's mind, because he knew Niara's imagination made her incompatible. I think he's planning to destroy the Earth." Brilliant, and we were now 5 miles away. Then the machines around us turned on. "What's that?"

"MITRE." Mrs Stafford stared at them all. "It's gone online."

"Massive telekinetic levels. They're off the scale." The Slitheen child gasped as the ground below us started to shake. "The moon! It's moving!"

Alan looked around the room quickly. "But it's not possible."

Mother rolled her eyes at him. "Luke isn't possible. Mr Smith isn't possible. But put them together, they're bringing the moon crashing down on Earth." Good thing it wasn't the sun. We'd have been roasted by now.

"But the moon, it's like a quarter of a million miles away."

That didn't mean anything. My Godfathers home planet was the other end of the universe, yet I still knew he could get from there to here in about 5 minutes. We'll be dead long before it hits us. The gravitational effect will tear the whole planet apart. It's already happening.

Carl, Nathan, whatever the fuck his name really was, didn't seem pleased. "At least I'll be able to tell my family you're both dead, Sarah Jane, Niara. I'm teleport back to my ship."

Or not. I just hooked my tail around his teleport control and snatched it away. No. You are to blame for this as much as Mr Smith. You're staying. Besides, your ship would get torn apart by gravitational disturbances. You would die. On the other hand, if you help us, we might just all have one chance to survive. Now I looked at Alan, mum moving with me to keep translating. I need you to help me destroy Mr Smith.

So we both got to work on computers, with my typing up the basic design for Mr SMith with his thought capacity and memory banks as Alan tried to find a way to destroy them, like a factory reset. I just had to get Clyde out first or he'd get wiped as well. "I get paid to block out Cyber Threats." What, Cybermen? "I understand viruses, I know how they work, but Mr Smith, he's more than a computer, and Nia is a far better engineer than most of the computer designers I've met." Why, thank you very much.

"Dad, you're our only chance."

"Well then, this is my best shot. The FBI had to stop a cyber terrorist from using this to destroy the entire international banking system."

Mum was a little shocked to say the least. "So how did you get hold of it?"

"You're not the only one with unorthodox contacts."

Fair enough. I wished that I still had the Japanese contacts that supplied me with Pocky and the Shrimp crisps that were hard to get hold of over here. "Niara, could you get the teleport to work?" I nodded and reconfigured it to take us to the attic. Where Luke was in pain from his brain being over worked. "Luke?"

"Sarah Jane. Princess Niara. You came to say goodbye."

Why are you doing this?

"The collision of the moon and Earth will release the Xylok form the planet's crust, where it has been buried for 60 million years."

"You're going to kill billions."

He was still too busy explaining his origin story to listen. So long as he didn't repeat himself, I was getting annoyed that they kept doing that with Spiderman. "The Xylok are a crystalline life form. We crashed here as what you would call a meteorite. But buried beneath the Earth, our crystals have regrown and become strong again, but never the less, we remain trapped."

Made sense. You're part of the original crystal. You're still in contact with it?

"The release of the Xylok is my purpose." Mr Smith informed us, my tail holding the disk I needed to get close enough to use. "You gave me the chance to fulfil it. The chance to plan."

My mothers eyes were burning with anger. "All this time, you used us, Mr Smith. You're evil."

"No. Effective." And that. "We will do so much more than the human race. The universe is served better by our survival."

Here was where I knew I'd spent far too much time with my Godfather recently. I had philosophical monologues. Any race thinking it's better than another, that's evil Mr Smith. What have you done with Clyde?

At which point he was printed back out into 3D, physical form, making me want to hug him but I couldn't give away my secret weapon. "Am I not merciful?"

Cly himself was swaying slightly, completely confused and dazed. "What a dream." Sweetie...

Only the his gun, which I did not remember ever designing or building as a feature in his console, aimed at us. "You made all this possible, Sarah Jane, Niara. I owe you the mercy of quickly deaths." Good luck, I'd proven to be harder to kill than a twinkie.

"What about other people? Don't they deserve mercy?" Mum asked, stepping in front of me. "You've been here millions of years, you've seen us evolve. Don't we matter to you?"

"Only my purpose matters."

What was purpose without a family to help? You can change your purpose.

"No, I told your mother, Princess Niara, we all have a purpose." My psycho computer informed us. "Yours are to die so that the Xylok will live. After all, what life do you have, alone in your attic, without even a voice?"

Who needed a voice when you had wings? "Alone? You think that Niara and I are alone? You think my daughter and I are defenceless? Well, meet our dog! K9, protect Niara!"

"Affirmative, Mistress Sarah Jane." At which point my best friend beamed in, trading shots with Mr Smith. "Maximum defence mode. Take care, Mistresses and young Master." Then Mr Smith was down. "Safe to proceed, Mistress Niara. I have the unit covered." So I moved across the room to load the Armageddon Virus into Mr Smith, who stopped firing. "Do you wish for me to continue firing, Mistress?"

I shook my head, but gave him a motion to stand by as I ran to hug Cly. "A robot dog called K9?" My dog agreed. "I am dreaming, aren't I? Hey, Ni, it's OK."

Eventually I let go of him as Mr Smith started to speak, holding his hand tight. "What have you done to me, Niara? I feel. I feel strange."

"It's a computer virus, Mr Smith." Mum told him. "It's closing down your data banks. Niara tweaked it so you'd lose your memory."

"The speed of light is 36. No, 84. The Metrableen Cosmic Cluster is home to 68000 life forms. 67. I'm forgetting it all. Sarah Jane, help me."

Mum had no sympathy. "Without your memories, you have no purpose, Mr Smith. Without your purpose, you can't destroy the Earth. Put the moon back into it's original orbit before it's too late. And set Luke free, now."

"I've forgotten my purpose."

I stepped forward, signing something to either of them to say for me. "Your purpose is to save the Earth, Mr Smith. That is your new purpose. To serve Earth."

The message sunk in quickly. "Save the Earth. Yes, I have a purpose. Thank you, Sarah Jane, Niara."

His screen then went blank as everything got wiped for a moment, giving him time to reboot. "The unit is non-functional."

"Mum, Nia!" Luke smiled, stepping back as the machine switched off.

Cly ran to the window as we hugged my little brother, checking on the moon. "We did it. It worked. The moons going back."

K9 moved little closer, his tail wagging expectantly. "Is everything satisfactory, Mistresses?" We gave him an affirmative. Well, they did, I signed it. "Must return to the distortion, Mistresses. Without my immediate attention, black hole will turn critical in 0.42 time spatial increments."

"Go now. Good dog." Mum beamed at him, her arms around Luke as I kissed Clyde. "We'll see you again soon." He beamed away as Luke finally came back to his full senses and we had a group hug. "Oh, my babies..."

Alan and Maria got back a little while later, having driven mums car and we sat out in the back garden, watching our planets sky grow darker, night falling down around us like a comforting winter blanket. The stars were clearly on show as I sat between mum and Clyde, smiling at his sketching of me as I kept writing my story.

"There they go." Luke nodded, sat the other side of our mother as the Slitheen shot away in their ship, up so high above us.

Mum nodded, looking through the glasses I made her buy. I was sick of her complaining she couldn't see. "Back to Raxacoricofallapatorius. And good riddance."

Maria's dad wrapped an arm around his own daughter. "Will they be back?"

Oh, I expect so. I signed, Clyde pausing from his drawing to translate. Sooner or later.

"What about Mr Smith?"

Which made my boyfriend nod, kissing my hand. "Yeah, can we ever trust him again?"

"The Armageddon Code has wiped his circuits." Mum explained, telling our neighbour what I'd written down for her. One day. One day I would get my voice back, I knew I would. 2He'll reboot with a new purpose, to safeguard the world."

Only then Chrissie Jackson appeared, making me sigh at her arrival. I did not like this woman, she called me Kiara. "Mum!"

"We were saying, what a beautiful night." My brilliant, amazing mother told her with a smile. "Please, come and join us."

Mum saw amazing things out in space, and I saw wonderful, terrible ones in my Year. But strange things can happen wherever you are. Life on Earth, living in Ealing, it can be an adventure too though. In all the universe, with everything to put people off, from my wings and tail, to my temper and muteness, I never thought I'd find a boyfriend as wonderful as Clyde, or a brother as sweet as Luke.

And I don't think mum ever expected to find a family outside of me.

Buzz Buzz.

I looked down at the message on my phone, before sighing at the all caps, coded message. SKYLARK AT 0900 HQTL. MEET GREYHOUND 6.

Looks like the adventure was going to take a step up. Wonder why Martha needed me.