A/N Okay I am really sorry I haven't updated in weeks. I've been really busy – I know that's a poor excuse but it's the truth! Luckily school's finished (finally!) so I should be able to update this story and my other fanfic more regularly.

As promised I am going to reveal Jasper's past in this chapter, and get a couple together (and no, it isn't going to be Bella and Edward – that will need at least a whole chapter to itself!) Sorry to those who thought it would be!

(Just to recap because I know it's been a long time, Bella and Edward have found out they used to be friends. Bella got angry, but finally believed Edward was telling the truth. They end up going to Edward's old house which was trashed. They found out Edward's parents were threatened to leave by a criminal, who was going to be persecuted based on evidence by Edward's mother, and by Edward's father acting as the persecutor lawyer.)

Chapter 14 – Jasper's agony

"Where the hell have you guys been?" Emmett shouted across to us as we re-entered the meadow, Edward gentlemanly allowing me to walk through the gate first.

"No where" I shouted back just as loud.

I didn't think that I should tell them what happened, it was just too complicated! And I think Edward was still in shock at finding out that his parents were blackmailed into leaving, and then murdered. He was quiet on the way over here, not saying anything. I didn't think he would want to make small talk, or talk about what happened, so I didn't say anything either. But he would have to talk soon, otherwise the others would figure out something was wrong too.

Rose and Alice ran towards me, Emmett and Jasper casually walking behind them. Alice had black tracks down her eyes where her mascara had run. Had she been crying? "Bella are you alright? The last thing I saw was you screaming at Edward, running out, tears streaming down your face" Rose told me concerned.

I immediately blushed as I realised how immature I reacted. Embarrassed, I replied "Oh, it was nothing. Just a mis-understanding." I looked to Edward and smiled apologetically, and he just smiled back, saying it was okay. I turned back to Alice. "Alice, are you okay? You look like you've been crying." Alice hastily tried to smudge away the mascara, answering, "Don't worry about it. Just an over-reaction."

Then something clicked in. "Hey. Where did Lucky go?" I asked confused.

Emmett and Rose laughed but Jasper was the one who answered "Well you see, a cat came along and Lucky got really, 'excited', and started chasing the poor cat around. Unfortunately, the cat thought it would take refugee in Alice's arms." He turned to smile at Alice, who pouted and folded her arms in a very childish manner.

"Yeah, and then Lucky started bounding up on me trying to get to the cat, barking his head off" Alice said irritably. Everyone started laughing at this.

"Aaah Alice, I'm sorry. So where is the little pest now?" I scanned the meadow but couldn't see her.

"Well Lucky ended up knocking Alice over, and then the cat flew out of Alice's hands and went running out the meadow, Lucky following the cat. We helped Alice up and tried to follow, but we couldn't see where they went," Emmett said amused.

"We hoped that Lucky would find her way back to your house, so we shouldn't worry" Jasper said, though he looked very worried.

"Yeah, she'll come when she wants dinner. She always goes out exploring" I smiled, assuring them not to worry.

"That's a relief" Rose sighed out loud, "But I don't think Alice's opinion of Lucky was very much strengthened by the incident." She smiled as Alice rolled her eyes.

"Well, it was sort of fun, to be honest," she grudgingly admitted.

"Anyway, that couldn't have taken 5 minutes. Bella and I have been gone for at least half an hour. What else have you been doing?" Edward asked.

"Well you haven't told us what you've been doing?" Rose said quickly. Damn, why does she have to be so sharp?

"Edward asked first," I replied, just as sharply.

"Actually, Emmett asked first when you two entered the meadow." Man Rose was not going to give in.

Edward, Emmett, Jasper and Alice swivelled back and forth between Rose and I, both of us too stubborn to give in.

"For God's sake you two! If you must know Jasper and I were talking, as were Emmett and Rose" Alice sighed exasperated.

"About what?" I asked her, ignoring Rose's glare at Alice for giving in.

"Just about stuff," Alice said innocently.

"Oh stuff. Very specific" I replied sarcastically.

Alice didn't say anything, but turned to look at Jasper. Jasper sighed, but nodded towards Alice. She tuned back to look at us. "Well, Jasper was telling me about his past," she said in a small voice.

"WHAT?" Both Rose and I shouted out. "How come you get to know first?" I demanded.

"Well, you weren't even here, it's your fault," Alice said irritated.

"And me?" Rose asked. Alice just smiled mischievously at her.

"Well, you and Emmett were getting very, 'intimate', with each other, so we thought it was better not to disturb you."

I turned to see Rose blushing like crazy, almost as red as me! And now that I think about it, Emmett had something shiny on his lips.

"Emmett, is that Rose's lipgloss on your lips" I taunted him.

"No," he replied instantly, but I could tell he was lying.

"Oh, so you wear lipgloss everyday then?" Alice joined in on the taunting.

"If you must know, I have a medical condition where I need to put lipgloss on" Emmett defended himself.

"Oh really Emmett? So how come Edward and I don't know about this condition? Surely as your brothers, we would realise," Jasper smiled amused.

Emmett was getting very heated now. "Look, I didn't want to tell you guys."

"Why not?" I asked innocently.

"BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO!" Emmett yelled at me. He was digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole.

"But Emmett, what's the condition called?" Edward asked.

Oh Edward is so brilliant! Emmett had no answer to this. "It's called…called…FINE! I kissed Rose! Happy now?" Emmett bellowed out, finally cracking.

All of us laughed, including Rose. Emmett sighed, defeated, and looked upset.

"Don't worry Em. They had to find out at some point" Rose laughed. She stood on her tiptoes, while Emmett reached down, to kiss her lightly on the lips.

Alice and I "aaaah" but then Edward and Jasper had to ruin it by wolf-whistling. Rose got embarrassed and pulled away from the kiss. Emmett laughed, but slung a hand around Rose's waist. Rose tried to look uninterested, but I could tell she was ecstatic underneath, and I was happy for her.

"Anyway, are you going to tell us about your past, seeing as Alice already knows?" Rose asked Jasper, and all our attention immediately went back to him, who didn't look very happy at the turn of events.

"I guess I'll have to," Jasper said quietly, though more to himself than anyone else.

Alice started welling up, and burst into tears. "I'm sorry, but it's really sad!" Jasper put a hand around her shoulder and squeezed it lightly. It looked like Alice appreciated the gesture as she stopped crying and wiped away her tears with her hand.

"Alice! Jasper is supposed to be the one who's sad. Why are you sad?" Emmett stated. Rose hit him in the stomach, muttering "insensitive pig" hard enough to make him go "Oow", which made Alice laugh lightly.

"Okay, well it's sort of a long story. But I better start of with my parents. They met each other in high school and became best friends. They ended up falling in love and started going out in university. When they both finished uni, my dad proposed to my mum. Both were ecstatic and they had a huge wedding. I still have a picture of their wedding day at home," Jasper told us, his face serious. Alice, beside him, started crying silently again.

"About 6 months after they were married, my mum found out she was pregnant with me. But apparently, about 6 months into the pregnancy, my mum had an accident and fell down the stairs. She was taken to hospital, where the doctors told her she was suffering a hemorrhage. They told her that either they would have to kill her baby, or if she continued with the pregnancy, she would die."

Jasper stopped, there were no tears in his eyes, but they were full of pain and agony. He took in a ragged breath and continued, "My dad found out what happened and rushed to the hospital, and was explained about the situation. My mum apparently loved me more than anything, and she couldn't bear for me to be hurt. She continued with the pregnancy, knowing that I would kill her. And I did. During labour, when I was born, she died."

Alice was sobbing uncontrollably now, and so was Rose. I was on the verge too. Still Jasper continued, "My dad brought me up. He was always distant with me, with everybody. He became an alcoholic, trying to drown his tears. Whenever he thought about my mum, he would drink. And then he would get so upset he would start throwing things around the place. Every time he did this, I would rush up to my room and lock it. I know he wouldn't intentially hurt me, but he wasn't aware of what he was doing when he was like this. I was scared. One day, when he started trashing the whole house, I was so scared that I called the police."

I was crying now, Jasper had to be so strong to have been able to deal with that, let alone telling us about it! "They came and took my dad to a mental clinic, saying that my mum's death had mentally scarred him. They took me into care."

Jasper held his head in his hands, seemingly close to crying. Alice hugged him, crying onto his shirt. "I still see him once a year at Christmas. He's getting better, slowly. But every time I see him, I know that it's because of me that he's like this," he whispered.

"What are you talking about Jasper?" I was horrified he thought it was his fault. He's the victim in all of this!

"If only I wasn't born! Then my mum would still be alive and my mum and dad would be happy together" Jasper sobbed.

"DON'T YOU DARE" Alice screamed at him. "Don't you dare wish you had never been born!"

"Alice is right Jasper. Your mum died for you! She would want you to be happy, not for you to be guilty," I took his hand and rubbed soothing circles on it. He looked into my eyes, and the agony was still there.

"I know, but it's the truth, Bella! I know my dad thinks the same. I see him looking at me, thinking I'm the reason for the love of his life's death. And it will forever be haunting my dreams, knowing I'm the reason my mum is dead!"

A/N Ah poor Jasper! It's not his fault his mum's dead. I know that in past chapters I've sort of lead onto an abusive parent, but Jasper was never beaten up. There's no way that I would be able to describe that – it would be too horrific!

Please press that green button! It will only take a minute of your time and Jasper will feel much better!