CHAPTER 14 - MAMA BEAR

Xander is asleep in the recliner when I wake up in the morning. His clothes are rumpled and his hair is sticking up in places where it shouldn't, and I wish I could take a picture of him.

I get out of bed to check on Liam, but I find he too is asleep. I find myself just staring at him for several minutes, almost as if in disbelief that this little person actually grew inside me for nine months. Liam twitches in his sleep, which makes me smile. It's the little things that make me think of his father. Angel twitches in his sleep too.

Figuring the baby will be awake soon, I take the opportunity to go to the bathroom. In the mirror above the sink, I stare at my reflection, trying to see if there's anything visibly different about me, as if someone could look at me and actually tell that I was a mother now. But I look the same, only more tired. I do surprise myself when I see a smile though. It's hard to believe I could smile when I still miss Angel so much.

After freshening up, I step out of the bathroom and see that Xander is awake now. Or just barely awake rather. He smiles at me with tired eyes. "Good morning."

"Morning."

I walk over to Liam and stare at him again. I feel like I could watch him forever sometimes. He makes a little whimper but still appears to be asleep.

Xander walks over to us and stares at Liam too. "You okay?"

"Yeah." I decide to pick Liam up, not being able to resist not holding him any longer. "You know what's funny?"

"What's that?"

"If someone had told me two years ago that I'd have a baby now, I would have looked at them and laughed, maybe would have told them they were crazy for saying that. But now? I can't imagine not having him. And I want to do nothing but love him and keep him safe."

"Well they do say having a baby changes everything."

"Whoever 'they' are, they're right." I take Liam over to the bed so that I can sit down and hold him. "Xander?"

Xander pulls up a chair to the bed and sits down. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for staying last night."

"No problem. I know you hate hospitals. I just didn't think you'd want to be here alone."

Liam whimpers again, and it's about this time that his eyelids start to flutter. "Oh, look. He's opening his eyes."

Liam's eyes slowly open. He seems content as he looks at me, his little mind working hard at trying to figure out his surroundings.

"Hi, baby boy. Good morning."

"You know you're talking baby talk, right?"

"Shut up, Xander. I can't help it. It just comes out. You were doing it too last night, you know."

"Was not."

"Oh, so you're going to deny it now?"

"I plead the fifth."

The lactation consultant comes to see me shortly after, and Xander quietly makes his exit, presumably to the cafeteria. When he returns later though, I realize he must have gone home. He's changed his clothes, and in his hand, he holds a paper bag from a fast food restaurant.

"Please tell me that's for me," I say as I pick at the rubbery eggs on my breakfast tray. "The only one who seems to be getting a good breakfast around this joint is Liam." I nod to the little bed, Liam fast asleep after I nursed him.

"Breakfast is served," Xander says, placing the paper bag before me.

"Thanks, Xander. I don't think I can stomach any more hospital food."

"I had to sneak it past the nurse outside. She kept giving me the evil eye."

"Here, hide the evidence." I take the biscuit out of the bag and crumble it up. I give it to Xander to throw away.

"Buffy Summers?" a nurse says, poking her head into the doorway, her eyes on the chart in front of her. I quickly stow my food away under the pillow.

Xander points to her. "That's her," he mouths.

The nurse looks up from her chart, staring at me, then at the baby. "I'm going to take your baby to the nursery now."

"What? Why? The nurse last night said he could stay here in the room with me."

"We just need to run some tests."

"Why do you need to run tests on him? He's just fine!"

"Because the state of California requires it, ma'am."

"Well can't you do the tests here?"

"No. I have to take him to the nursery."

"Well I'm going with you!" I start to get out of bed, but the nurse halts me with her arm.

"Ma'am, you just had a baby. Please rest. Besides, it'll only be just a few minutes."

"No! You're not going anywhere with my baby without me! How do I even know you're a real nurse who works here? I've never seen you before!"

"How about I go?" Xander suggests.

The nurse eyes him up and down. "You the father?"

"No. I'm…the baby's uncle."

"Please let him go with you!" I beg the nurse.

The nurse ponders this for a moment, then sighs. "Alright, fine."

"Thank you," I mouth to Xander.

He nods, then follows the nurse out of the room, Liam in tow.

I don't feel like eating now. I miss Liam already.

A short while later, the door opens. For a moment, I think it's the nurse bringing Liam back, but the appearance of several blue balloons tells me otherwise.

Willow pokes her head into the doorway. "Good morning!"

"Hey, Will."

Willow walks in, holding the balloons, and Oz follows her inside.

"Hey, Buffy," he says, giving me a smile. "Heard you became a mother last night."

"Yeah, I did. Seven pounds, six ounces, all boy."

"Where is the little guy?" Willow asks, looking around.

"The nurse took him away to run some tests. I made her take Xander with her."

Willow and Oz each pull up a chair to the bed and sit down.

"So, how are you feeling?" Willow asks me.

"Physically? I'm fine. Emotionally? Happy, sad, overwhelmed, nervous, unsure how I'm going to do this…"

"You'll be fine," Oz says with a nod. "You'll be a great mom."

"You really think so?"

"Of course, Buffy!" Willow says. "You'll be an amazing mother!"

"When do you get to go home?" Oz asks.

"Soon I hope. I'm hoping when Mom comes later they'll just let me go home with her."

Outside in the hallway, a baby's crying. It sounds like Liam, and a few seconds later, the nurse returns, wheeling him into the room with Xander following behind.

"See, he's back in one piece, just like I promised." The nurse gives me a look before leaving the room.

Liam's still crying loudly, and I jump out of bed to go over to him. "What did she do to him? He looks traumatized!"

"She poked and prodded him with needles," Xander says. "He didn't like that too much."

"And he just fell asleep!" I scoop Liam into my arms, holding him close to me as I kiss his little head. "Oh, Liam, I'm so sorry you had to go with that mean ole nurse."

I bounce Liam gently in my arms, and his crying finally subsides.

"See, look at that," Oz says. "You're a natural. He's already stopped crying."

"You should have seen Buffy with the nurse. She went all 'mama bear' on her."

"You don't think I was being totally unreasonable, do you?"

"Nah. She was rude anyway."

"She's lucky I didn't bring out my fists."

Althea puts a plate of food on the table and joins Roman and I for lunch.

"How's the progress going at Miller's Store?" she asks.

Roman nods. "Very well. I imagine by next week we'll be finished with the job. If the snow doesn't hold us back, that is. Then we'll move on to rebuilding some of the homes."

"And, Angel? How's the training going?"

"Good, but I think it's important to start training a few more men. We've got a great group, but I'll need an army."

The sound of children outside distract Althea from our conversation. She glances at the clock and frowns. "It's not time for the children to be home from school." As Althea walks to the door, her three children walk in.

"Mother!"

"Children, you should be in school now. Why are you home so early?"

"The schoolhouse lost electricity," Andromeda explains. "Teacher sent us home. It was too cold."

"And Teacher didn't have any firewood to make a fire," Myles adds.

Serena holds her gloved hands up.

"Alright then. Well go sit by the fire in the living room and warm up, then come into the kitchen for some lunch. Maybe the school will be reopen tomorrow."

The children shuffle into the living room, and Althea joins us back into the kitchen.

"That's a little odd," she says. "Why would the schoolhouse lose electricity? You don't think…"

Althea doesn't need to finish her question. We all suspect the Invaders have something to do with it.

Anticipating a cold night and the possibility of losing power, Roman and I gather extra firewood as well as firewood for some of the other villagers.

We pass one of Roman's neighbors, an elderly man everyone affectionately calls Old Man Hogan, as he takes his afternoon walk.

"How are you on firewood, Hogan?" Roman asks him.

"I'm fine. Give that wood to some of these other families. Heard the schoolhouse lost power."

"Yes, afraid so," he replies.

"Maybe we should deliver some of this firewood to the schoolhouse?" I suggest.

Roman nods. "Good idea. See you later, Hogan."

When we arrive at the schoolhouse, we find the teacher, a young woman with pink hair and skin waiting outside in an obvious panic. Roman stops the horses and calls out to her. "Ms. Appleby, is everything alright?"

"Oh, Mr. Roman, Mr. Angel! I'm glad to see you both! Someone was supposed to come out to look at the power problem, but that was two hours ago. Do either of you know anything about circuit breakers?"

"We could take a look at it," I tell her. "Where's the power box?"

Ms. Appleby leads us back inside the schoolhouse and around back. Roman and I examine the electric panel, but everything seems to be in order.

"This is what I suspected," Roman says. "It doesn't appear there's a problem with the breaker."

"Which means the power to the school has been shut off."

"Shut off?" Ms. Appleby stares at us. "Why…that's impossible. The school board pays for the electric bill and I highly doubt they would miss a payment. Especially in the dead of winter."

"We don't think the problem is with the electric bill," I tell her, and her eyes widen with understanding.

"Why would the Invaders cut off power to the schoolhouse? These are children. They're innocent."

Roman shrugs. "I don't have an answer for that. Perhaps the same reason they have decided to limit our food supply. Angel and I will leave adequate firewood so that you may have school in the morning. In the meantime, you should make preparations at home in the event they shut off all electricity. Do you have firewood?"

"No. I would be so grateful. Thank you. But do you really think they would do that?"

"I wouldn't put it past them," Roman answers.

In the hospital lobby, the orderly makes me sit in a wheelchair as I wait for my ride. In my arms, Liam sleeps, and I still can't get over how amazing it is that he's actually mine. I keep waiting for someone to stop me, tell me there's been some kind of mistake. But no, no mistake. I'm actually a mother now.

"Oh my goodness, what a beautiful baby!" A nurse I've never seen before leans over me to take a look at Liam.

"Thank you."

"Oh he's so precious! What's his name?"

"Liam."

"Oh how cute! Are you going home today?"

"Yeah, just waiting for my ride. Oh, there he is."

The sliding glass doors open and Xander walks in. The nurse takes one more look at Liam and then heads back to her station.

"Hey, your mom's got the car pulled up. Ready to go? Or do you want to stay here a little longer?"

"Get us both out of here!"

While Xander lets the orderly know we're ready to go, an oddly dressed man stumbles into the hospital. When he gets closer, I realize he's actually a monk, and he makes a beeline toward me whenever he spots me.

"The key! The key! You must protect the key!"

The man grabs the arm of my wheelchair, and I move to the other side, hoping to keep Liam as far away from him as possible.

"We gave it to you to protect! You must always…keep the key…safe."

Before the man passes out, the orderly rushes over and pulls the man away from me. Seconds later, he does actually pass out, and they load him up on a gurney and take him away.

"Is Liam okay?" Xander asks.

I look down at Liam, who was unaware of the drama that just unfolded. "He's fine. What the heck was that all about?"

"Nothing I'm sure. He's probably just a few fries short of a happy meal."

"Weird. Can we go now?"

At home, Liam sleeps in his bassinet, totally oblivious to the five pairs of eyes ogling over him.

"He doesn't really do much, does he?" Oz asks me.

A grin is plastered to my face as I stare at my son, unable to tear my eyes away from him. "No. This is pretty much it."

"Well he poops a lot too," Xander adds. "And he's always hungry when he's awake."

"Hey, just like you, Xander," Anya remarks.

"Kid after my own heart," he says with a laugh.

"He's so cute, Buffy!" Willow says. "He's like a cute little old man." She then looks up, seeing us all suddenly staring at her. "Well you know, they're both bald!"

Dawn walks over to us and wedges herself between me and Willow. "He still looks like a cone-head to me."

I elbow my sister sharply and glare at her. "Dawn, stop calling him that!"

"Hey, she's right," Anya says. "His head does look like a cone."

Dawn looks up at me, a smug smile on her face. "See? I'm not the only one who can see it."

"My baby has a perfectly normal-shaped head!"

"Actually, it is kind of squished a little," Willow says. "But don't worry! That's normal. It's from being pushed through the birth canal. It should round itself out soon enough. I think it's kind of cute actually."

"No, I think it'll stay that way," Dawn says. "He has to have something weird about him. Like mother, like son, he's a freak of nature."

"Don't you have some homework to do?" I ask her.

"Fine. I don't want to be around you guys anyway. You all smell like baby vomit." Dawn walks away and storms up the stairs.

"Ignore my sister. She's being more annoying than usual lately. I think she's just jealous she's not the baby of the house anymore."

"I don't smell like baby vomit!" Anya insists. "Do I?"

"No, I don't smell baby vomit," Willow says as she sticks her head into the bassinet. "All I smell is that sweet baby smell."

"What is that smell, anyway?" Xander asks, poking his head into the bassinet next to Willow.

"Heaven," I say with a smile.

Two days after the schoolhouse lost power, the entire village loses power. Althea brings out several oil lamps and candles, which reminds me of my days back in Ireland, and goes about lighting up the dark house.

I feel a gentle tug on my shirt and look to see Serena sitting beside me. The child looks scared, so I gather her into my arms and place her on my lap. "I know the dark is scary, but it's alright. This is how it used to be when I was your age."

"In the dark?"

"Yeah, in the dark. I didn't grow up with electricity."

Andromeda looks up at me from the floor, the light from the fire reflecting off her bright pink hair. "You had no electricity?"

"Yeah, but we were used to it. Just as long as we have plenty of oil and firewood to stay warm, we'll be just fine."

"And quilts," Althea says as she opens up the trunk in the living room and pulls out several quilts. "It'll be bitter cold tonight. We might just need these."

Althea was right. Later as I settled into bed, the freezing temperatures made me shiver. I should have been used to it, all the days I spent in cold Ireland and as a vampire, but it's hard to go back to living that way. Especially after living in California for so long.

It's nights like these that I miss Buffy the most. I miss the feel of her warm body next to mine, keeping each other warm with our body heat. I wonder what she's doing right now.

I gently rock Liam in the chair as his little head rests on my shoulders. He's asleep now, and I probably should put him in the bassinet, but I don't want to let him go. I just want to enjoy this moment for a little longer. I love the way he curls up against me, like he instinctively knows that I'm the one that's going to protect him.

Across the room, the moonlight illuminates Angel's picture on my dresser, which only makes me miss him more. I wish he was here right now. Then everything in my life would be perfect for once.

A/N: I know, I brought Dawn into the story. You're going to hate me now, right? Because she's probably the most hated character on the show after Riley, am I right? I guess I'm in the minority. I always liked her, though yes, she can be whiny and annoying. But I'm a little sister too so maybe I could relate to her. :) But it'll be a while before I bring Glory into the story. I'm doing things different than how they were on the show.

Also, if updates are sparse for the next couple of weeks, it's because I'm in the middle of moving right now. So my days are pretty much filled with putting stuff into boxes, cleaning, moving stuff, unpacking, and being stressed out in general because moving is a pain. Hopefully when I get settled into my new place, I'll be able to update more often.

Thanks for reading. :)