Chapter 13:Crimson Rears
Jane was taking a stroll through the castle and decided to head into the library. Maybe Felix would be there and lay a few more passionate kisses on her! To Jane's surprise, Aro was standing there looking grumpy. Uh-oh.
"Did you really think your dalliance with Felix would go unnoticed?"
"Well, um, uh, I..." was all Jane could manage.
"You know I forbade you to see him long ago! He is a rake, a heel, and a irrepressible flirt! I told you to stay away from him!"
"But we're in lurrrrrv!" Jane whined.
"I should exile you from the castle! You are too valuable to me, so I will punish you here and allow you to continue to live within these walls!"
Jane cringed at the idea of Aro's punishment. What could he have in mind?
"Come over to the couch! It's time to take your medicine!" Aro was seething with fury.
He led Jane over to an ornately carved 16th century couch and sat down.
"Over my knee, little missy!"
Jane whimpered and shook her head.
"On the count of three, or you're really going to regret it! One!...two!..."
"Ok, Ok." Jane relented.
"Bend over my knee!" Aro commanded.
Jane obeyed...
"Caius! Caius! Fetch me my paddle!"
Caius appeared from behind a bookcase with a cricket bat...
"Fer crissakes man! I'm not trying to kill her! She just needs to take her medicine!"
Caius returned with a ping pong paddle...
"That's more like it. Thank you, Caius."
Caius smirked...he couldn't wait to see that brat Jane get her butt beat!
"Caius, pull her cloak up a bit, so I can whack her fanny!"
Of course, Caius obeyed...
"I'm going to take it a little easy on you. You might even learn something! We're going to play a little trivia game. For every wrong answer, you get four licks. For every right answer, you just get one."
Jane din't think that sounded very fair...
"Let's begin!"
"In New Moon, who takes Bella to the hospital after she crashes the motorcycle?"
"Are these the movies or the books?
"Wrong answer!"
WHAP!
OOOFFF!
WHAP!
AHHHHHH!
Jane didn't realize Aro would hit so hard...He was a lot stronger than he looked!
WHAP!
EEEEEEE!
WHACK!
OOOOOOOOOO!
POP!
OUCHIES!
"Hey," Jane said, "that was five."
"I gave you one to grow on."
"I'm never gonna grow! I'm gonna look like this forever!"
"Don't you dare talk back to me young lady!"
"I'm not young, I'm like one thousand years old and stuff..."
"I'm warning you young lady!"
"OK! OK!"
"In Eclipse, who disposes of Bree Tanner?"
"Oooooh...my lover Felix! I told him to!"
"Clever girl!"
WHACK!
AAAAA!
Jane's butt was really starting to sting!
"Next question: In 'Twilight', what does Charlie say to Bella when she mentions seeing Edward?"
"Isn't he a little old for you?"
"Good answer! Kind of like you and Felix!"
"Well, FYI...I think I'm actually older than him, he just looks..."
WHACK! was the response.
"I warned you!"
Caius grinned as he watched Jane squirm in Aro's lap, in a futile effort to get away...
"Next question:during the credits of 'Breaking Dawn:Part One, what group is shown?"
"We are, duh! I really didn't like that movie as much as the others. It kind of sucked."
"Yeah, I know. A bit of a cash-in to break it into two movies...if you ask me."
"I did think it was funny when Jacob fell in love with that baby. I doubled over laughing!"
"Yeah, what's up with that whole imprinting deal? I guess it's like some love at first sight thing or something."
"Werewolves are so lame, I mean everybody knows vampires are way cooler."
"Duh."
"Enough of that! Back to the spanking!"
"Next question:What is the name of that dreary little town that Bella moved to?"
"Forks! Forks!"
"How dare you use the F-word in my presence!"
"Nooooooo...I didn't say the F-word, I said Forks, F-O-R-K-S"
"I don't believe you! Stop lying to me!"
WHACK!
WHACK!
WHACK!
WHACK!
At this point Jane grimaced. Her tail was on fire!
"Next question: In 'Eclipse', who gets killed first at the campsite?"
"I DON"T REMEMBER!...BOOHOO!"
Jane kicked and flailed her arms, but to no avail, Aro's grip was too strong.
WHACK!
AAAAAAAAA!
WHACK!
EEEEEEEEEE!
WHACK!
OOOOOOOOOO!
WHACK!
OHHHHHHHHH!
Caius doubled over laughing as he watched the show that Jane was putting on...
"One more question!"
Aro then noticed that the ping pong paddle had splintered during his furious attack on Jane's rump.
"Guess I'm going to have to go old school..."
Aro tossed the paddle aside and drew his fingers close together...
"Final question: In 'Twilight', who was the vampire that bites Bella?"
"I really only watch the movies that we're in..."
"BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ...WRONG ANSWER!"
WHAP!
WHAP!
WHAP!
WHAP!
The sound of Aro's hand against Jane's posterior was like boulders crashing together...
AIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Caius fell on the floor laughing!
"Ok, enough. Come give Aro a hug..."
Jane got up, rubbed her sore bum, and gave Aro a big hug.
"I only did that because I love you. Do you understand?"
Jane sniffled and thought about kissing Felix some more...