Chapter Playlist- Goodbye To You by The Veronicas

Previously…

As I got back into bed, I thought of all of the things we had told each other and how confident I felt that she wouldn't repeat anything I had just said, even in spite. Bella just wasn't like that. And, as I looked up at her sleeping form, I realised that I couldn't pass this off as attraction any longer. I really liked Bella, properly this time. Not like I had any other girl. I didn't just want to get some from her – though that would be nice – but I wanted to be with her properly. I wanted to be the one to give her everything she wanted, be the shoulder she cried on, be the best friend she had never had, be the person she confided in, be the person she felt the same way about in return… I wanted to be with Bella Swan. There was absolutely no denying it any longer.

The Hard Way To Learn A Lesson

Chapter 13- Obsession

Edward POV

The next day passed without much incident. For some bizarre reason, Jasper actually smiled for practically the whole day.

"Bella's a nice girl," he told me randomly.

For a moment, I panicked, wondering if he had guessed that I like her, but then he walked off, so I didn't get the chance to ask him what the hell he was on about.

After school, I went to the park with Connor, Mitchell, Mason and Jasper, and we called Emmett over to even up the numbers. We played sport for a few hours; Mitchell, Jasper and I thrashing Connor, Emmett and Mason at everything we did. Then, we all went to Pizza Hut for dinner, mucking around as usual until we got kicked out.

Emmett came back home with me to see Mum and Dad and Alice.

"How's the wife?" he asked.

I scowled. "How's the girlfriend?"

To my surprise, he didn't attack me about dodging the question. Instead, he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Actually… I was thinking about… proposing to her," he admitted.

I gaped at him. "You what?!"

"I want to ask Rose to marry me, but I don't know how," Emmett told me.

"And you're asking my advice?"

"Well," he said. "You're a ladies man, aren't you?"

I don't know why, but the title I had once loved now felt like a sick label; it disgusted me. "Yeah, I'm the player," I replied bitterly.

"Hey, hey!" Emmett backtracked. "No need to be like that. I didn't mean it like that. You just know how to impress the ladies, don't you?"

"No," I grumbled.

"Whoa, what's up, Eddie?"

"Nothing," I lied, just as we walked through the door.

"Honey, I'm home!" Emmett yelled, as he did every time he walked through the door.

He went through to the kitchen while I kicked my shoes off and then started up the stairs to go and shower.

But I collided with someone at the top of the stairs.

"Oh!" Bella exclaimed. "Sorry." Red coloured her cheeks as her eyes caught mine.

"No, I'm sorry," I said and then I noticed what she was wearing: a tight thigh-length red dress that flattered her figure, leaving nothing at all to the imagination; a pair of killer stiletto heels, also red; and she was carrying a little red handbag. That was it. "Are you… going somewhere?" I asked suspiciously.

"Um…" She flushed even more, if that was at all possible.

"Yes." Alice appeared out of nowhere and answered for Bella. "She's going on a date."

I felt my blood turn to ice as I looked directly at Alice, forgetting about Bella. "She's going where?"

"On a date," Alice snapped, smirking a little. Didn't Bella get fed up with Alice answering for her? I would. I guess that showed the difference between us; Bella was too nice, I was a jerk.

"A what?!" I gasped. "With who?!"

"Oh yeah, I get it," Bella interrupted our conversation coldly. "Who would go on a date with her, right?"

I looked at her in surprise. "What? No! No, I didn't mean…"

"Whatever Edward," she spat. "Just because I'm not your type doesn't mean I'm not anyone else's." She pushed past me and stomped down the stairs.

"Bella!" I ran after her. "Bella, I didn't mean it like that!"

"Sure you didn't," she said sarcastically. Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence and that broke my heart.

"Bella, please," I whispered, reaching out and grabbing her arm. "I was just surprised…"

"Yeah, I know," she hissed, snatching her arm away.

I sighed and took a step toward her. I could feel Alice watching us from the top of the stairs, but I ignored her. "Bella," I murmured. "Please, listen to me. I…" I trailed off.

She took a step away. "No, Edward," she said firmly. "I don't want to hear your apologies. I know what you're going to say, and I know it's not true."

"No you don't," I insisted. "Bella, why are you going?"

She glared at me. "Because I want to. I don't understand you, Edward. Why do you even care?"

Because I like you too much. "Because I know you don't like any of the guys at school." Because none of them are good enough for you. Even I'm not good enough for you.

"Well," Bella said, stuck for words. Eventually she stuttered out lamely, "that shows how much you know."

"Bella." Even I could hear how pained my tone was. I loved the way her name rolled off my tongue, even though I had said it too many times to count in the last few minutes.

She frowned, confused as to why I would sound like that. "What?"

"I do understand. More than you'll ever know," I whispered, twining her fingers with hers.

"Yeah right!" she scoffed. "No one would ever date me but every girl in the world falls at your feet! You don't understand a thing, Edward."

I would date you, but you're the only girl in the world that won't fall at my feet. If only I could make her see, show her how much I did understand…

Then I had an insane idea. Whether it was just that I was watching her lips move as she spoke or whether it was because I had wanted to do it for a while now, I acted on impulse and leant closer to her. I snaked my hand up so that I was gripping her wrist and I pulled her closer by millimetres. I heard a little gasp escape her mouth, but she didn't stop me. Instead, she too made the distance between our faces smaller, moving her lips closer to mine. I didn't know whether she was aware of this but every part of me was more aware of it than I had been aware of anything before.

My hand moved its way up her arm and across her back, stroking it softly. Her breath hitched and my heart thudded. Closer, closer…

"Bella!" Alice screeched from upstairs in a panicked tone. "Bella! He's here!"

Bella flushed bright red and tried to pull away from me, but I locked my arm around her, desperate not to let her go. I'd never let her go.

She cleared her throat awkwardly but I still didn't let her go. I decided to take to the last resort. "Please, Bella," I whispered, still holding her close. "Please don't go."

"Why not?" she asked quietly.

Because I want to be the person to take you on your first date. Because I want to be the first person to kiss you softly. Because I want to be the fist guy to walk you home, laughing in the dark. Because I am dying of jealousy. Because you're perfect. Because… just because.

"I'm sorry," she said, slipping under my restraining arm as Alice whipped past to the door, whacking the back of my head on the way past. I felt angry at myself. Maybe if I had said just one of those things I had thought, then she would be back here, her lips moving softly against mine, giving me the best kiss I had ever had.

They opened the door together and I watched, eager to see the face of the guy I would bury tomorrow if Bella came home in any less than the perfect condition I had left her in.

"Wow. Bella, you look great." Newton. Mike Newton. My blood boiled and, if I had a pencil in my hand then I would have snapped it. There was no way on Earth Bella would date that moron. She must have some kind of ulterior motive…

"Hey Mike." She smiled at him. Or maybe she just liked him. Nah. No. Impossible. He was a jerk. Period.

"You ready to go, then?" he asked, grinning nervously at me from the doorway. I could almost see my seething expression from his point of view. He must have been fearing for his life. Still, I had no sympathy for the pathetic excuse of a boy. A kitten probably had bigger balls than him. A female kitten.

"Sure," Bella answered easily. "I'll just grab my coat."

She turned around and came over to the pegs next to me and grabbed the red cardigan she had hung up there just a few minutes earlier.

I begged her with my eyes.

"What is your problem?" she hissed, shaking her head and then turning away and following Mike down the garden path.

Alice waved after them and then slammed the door, before turning round to look at me. Her glare probably put mine to shame.

"Yeah, Edward," she spat. "What is your problem?" She shoved past me and up the stairs.

I went up as well, to have the shower I had intended to have originally, but she cornered me outside the bathroom.

"You just don't want her to be happy, do you?" she asked in disbelief. "You are so selfish, Edward. I cannot believe you. Bella is one of the kindest… no, she is the kindest person I've ever met. Ever, Edward, and I can tell that this is just going to hurt her. You are going to hurt her, Edward, I can see it."

I was about to disagree, but then she sighed and rubbed her temples and I saw a small, vulnerable Alice that I hadn't seen in years and I just couldn't fight with that Alice.

"I just…" She seemed lost for words, but then she continued, "I just don't want to lose the only friend I have here. I'm sorry for everything I've said to you. I don't want to hate you Edward, but I can't help it. It's as though you just don't care anymore and I hate that." There was a pause and then she said, "I lied, you know. She does like you. She insists that she doesn't, but I can see that look in her eyes when she looks at you now."

"What?" I breathed, unwilling to believe it.

"You heard me," Alice said. "She likes you Edward. Come on! You'd have to be blind not to notice. She always looks across at you in the cafeteria and she always relaxes when you're there, she always seems more comfortable with you around, she smiles when she hears you laugh, she's sad when you're not there, she moves when you move- like you're opposite ends of magnets attracting each other. It's as obvious as daylight Edward; she just hasn't noticed yet.

"But I can tell you feel more for her than she does for you. You've stopped dating and you don't pay attention to any other girl anymore. You only have eyes for her. Edward…" She looked at me. "I think that you love her."

"I don't," I mumbled. Did I? No; I was scared of love. It was too committal. Everyone spoke of love as something good, but it wasn't. When you loved, you just left yourself open for hurt. Love ended with hurt, that was that. It couldn't be helped. Because, one day, you will lose the one you love and you won't be able to do anything about it. Love just hurt. No, I didn't love Bella.

Alice shook her head. "Well, you like her a heck of a lot, then."

I shrugged.

"What are you going to do?" she wondered.

"What do you mean?"

"To win her over?"

I stared at her. "I… don't know. I wasn't going to try…"

Alice smiled condescendingly. "Edward. As much as I hate you right now, and don't want you to hurt Bella, you should try it. You like her enough to settle down for a while, don't you?"

"Well… yeah, but…"

Alice interrupted me."And I think you could maybe change if you dated her."

"Maybe, but…" I started again.

"And you'd be perfect for each other."

"Well… I dunno, but…"

"But what?" she demanded.

"What about my reputation?"

Alice gave an exasperated sigh. "And what about your reputation, Edward?"

I raised an eyebrow at her. "This is Bella Swan we're talking about."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, then, it's up to you. But I don't think it's going to get in the way. Watch this space, Edward. You're starting to care more about Bella than your reputation so…" She trailed off suggestively.

"We'll see," I murmured. Did I care more about Bella than my reputation? For a moment, I pictured wandering the corridors with people staring at me, not like they usually do, but because I was the topic of gossip. I pictured me sitting at a table by myself, everyone purposefully avoiding me. Jasper and Mason and the guys ignoring me or just shaking their heads at me in disappointment. The girls turning their noses up at me rather than crushing on me. Just me against the world.

But then I thought about Bella. That was what she went through everyday. Would it be so bad to be with her? Give her the moral support she deserved? She didn't deserve the gossip, she didn't deserve the slagging off she got. I used to think that she did. I used to start some of the gossip about her. But now that I knew her, I knew that she wasn't the person everyone made her out to be. She was caring, kind, funny, gorgeous… everything positive in the dictionary.

So it wouldn't just be me against the world. I pictured it again: wandering the corridors with people staring at me, but this time it was because Bella was at my side and we were laughing with each other, ignoring the world around us; sitting at a table, not by myself, but with Bella next to me- maybe she'd even help me… I would lose my reputation, but I'd gain Bella. It would just be us against the world. Was that such a bad exchange?

Yes. I had built up my reputation so that I could hide behind it. What would I do if Bella split with me, effectively breaking my heart? I couldn't just go back to being who I was. I'd be a loner, vulnerable, a freak. Because I wouldn't be able to move on the way I always had before.

Then I suddenly noticed that Alice had gone, and I'd been standing alone on the landing for ages. I sighed and went into the bathroom, turning on the shower and hoping to forget about Bella while the water cascaded down my back.

Oh, who was I kidding? She was the only thing on my mind and that was every second of every minute of every day. There was no way I could forget her. This was turning into an obsession. One of those obsessions that you can't get rid of however hard you try. And it certainly doesn't help when the object of said obsession is sleeping in your bed.

Bella POV

"… new haircut looks really nice…" Mike was saying, but I wasn't really listening.

Nice? Was that the best thing he could come up with? Edward had said that it was sexy. Edward. Sigh. I could've sworn that he was about to kiss me just now. But that was probably just me being stupid; Edward Cullen wouldn't kiss me. But, wow, just being that close to him was wonderful. Especially when he held me there, telling me not to go.

I had wanted him to say something, anything, that would stop me from going. I don't know why I felt let down when he didn't impulsively kiss me, or tell me that he liked me. Because I knew he didn't. I just let myself hope. So now I was cross. Both with him and myself.

Then, my mushroom ravioli came. It was slimy and disgusting; cheap. So I picked at it unenthusiastically. At least Mike was quiet when he had food in his mouth.

I found my thoughts returning to Edward, and this morning…

Flashback

I rolled over, sighing before realising that I should've just dumped myself on the floor. I sat bolt upright and blinked. I was in Edward's bed. How in hell's name did I get here? I looked around to see Edward lying across his sofa, still asleep. He must have moved me here while I was asleep.

I watched him sleep for a moment, watching as his stomach and chest rose and fell with every breath he took. His copper coloured hair was mussed up and his long lashes swept against the pale skin of his cheeks. I missed the depth of his green eyes, which were undoubtedly my favourite part of him, but he looked so peaceful that I couldn't bear to wake him.

And then, I looked at the clock and remembered that I had to. So I went over and knelt down beside him and stroked his hair. It didn't feel like I would've thought. It felt soft and lovely as opposed to the wirey mess I had thought it would be like. I got a bit carried away, stroking down his nose, his cheek, his jawline… and then I touched his eyelids and watched as the gorgeous green colour appeared.

"What did you do?" I whispered fondly.

"Hmm?" He sat up and looked at me a bit like a puppy.

I snickered. "How come I woke up in your bed?"

Awareness lit in his eyes. "Oh. Well, it was the right thing to do."

"Really?" I asked.

He grinned crookedly and I tried not to let it show that I was melting.

"Breakfast," I said, patting his bent knee and then standing up and heading for the door.

"Bella?" Edward called after me.

"Yeah?" I turned back round.

"Your hair looks like a haystack… but I like it," he told me, and then winked.

I scowled at him but then flashed him a cheery grin before setting back off down the stairs.

End Flashback

"Bella?" someone called my name, breaking me out of my daydream. "Bella, are you done?"

"Huh?" I asked, looking up to see Mike looking pointedly at me. Then I noticed the waitress standing over me, waiting to take away my bowl.

"Yeah," I replied. "Yeah, I'm done."

"What do you want to order next?" Mike said to me once the waitress had gone.

I frowned. I didn't want to be here anymore. "I actually don't feel very well. Do you think you could just take me home?"

Mike looked astonished. "But we've only been out for… just over two hours!"

Almost half of those two hours had been spent in the car; that was the problem with living in Forks; you had to drive for almost an hour just to get to anywhere with anything.

"I know, I'm sorry," I said, letting my head fall into my hands, pretending that I didn't feel well.

"Oh. Right," he said. "Um… okay."

He called the waitress over and paid though, to be honest, I was surprised that he hadn't seen through the act; I had never been a great liar.

The car ride home was awkward, neither of us saying much until he pulled up outside the Cullens'.

"Can we do this again sometime?" he asked.

"Maybe," I lied.

He smiled and then he leant across. I could see what was coming, but I didn't want it. I wanted my first kiss to be with someone special. I didn't know why Edward's face flickered through my mind when I thought that.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then?" I said, opening the door and climbing out, narrowly avoiding the kiss.

Mike looked incredibly disappointed. "Yeah. Tomorrow. Cool. See you."

I let myself back into the Cullens house to find Alice waiting up for me. I gave her back the house key she had lent me.

"Well, how was it?" she asked.

"Terrible," I answered honestly.

"Yeah, well, that was my brother's fault for trying to feel you up before your date."

"Excuse me?" I gasped. She did not just say that.

Alice rolled her eyes. "I'm tired," she declared. "I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning. Bright and early again like Monday. No goofing off like this morning! Is that clear?"

"Crystal," I groaned.

"Good," Alice said and started up the stairs. I followed her but went into Edward's room to find him asleep on the couch. I took my pyjamas into the bathroom and changed and washed in there, before going back and dithering for a second before getting into his bed.

I had just turned on to my side and closed my eyes when Edward spoke. "How did it go?"

I jumped out of my skin. "Don't do that!" I cried angrily. I was still cross with him from earlier.

"What?" He sat up on the sofa.

"Make me jump like that!"

"Oh. Sorry." He still seemed a little begrudging. "Did you kiss Newton?"

"What do you care?" I snapped.

"Did you?" He repeated calmly.

"No," I grumbled.

"Why not?" His voice was indifferent, but I could hear something behind it, though I wasn't quite sure what it was.

"Because I was afraid I'd get herpes!" I said, heavily sarcastic. "Because I didn't want to, you jerk! Why else wouldn't I?"

He shrugged and then said, "That's no way to speak to the guy who's given you his bed."

"You can have it back if you like," I offered. "I miss my sofa."

"My sofa. And I don't want it back."

"Whatever." I lay back down and closed my eyes again. "Goodnight, Edward."

"I missed you," he said softly, probably trying to make it up.

When I didn't reply, he sighed. "Goodnight, Bella. Have good dreams." When he said that, there was humour in his voice, like he was enjoying a private joke that I didn't understand.

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Aw. Jealousward :D

Okies. Guys. I KNOW Alice is OOC atm. But it does say something in the summary about the characters being a bit OOC so please stop complaining about that. She'll go back in character soon!

Same updating issue but I have a fair few chapters (long ones too) written so, when I get back, you can totally have daily updates for a while, okay? But, for now, I'm sorry about the lack of updates which, when you think about it, isn't that bad. There are some authors on here who don't update in months (I totally used to be one of them :S) so I think it's been about a week since my last one so it's not really that bad is it???

I don't really think I've got anything else to say for once… Oh (if you're at all interested…) I am not at all bothered about the bandslam movie but I am desperate to go see it when it comes out cos of the extended NM trailer! :D But I'll still be on holiday :( so if any of you (when it comes out- obviously) find a website that shows the trailer and other stuff, I'd seriously love you if you PM-ed me a link. You don't have to or anything – I'm sure I'd be able to Google it – but if you feel like it then… you know … XD

That really is it now.

PLEASE REVIEW!

Thanks

Steph

A lot of you have generic fears like spiders, clowns etc but there have also been some really strange ones like fear of a large amount of water, monsters in closets AND (something I used to be scared of) big lorries driving behind your car and tripping over a stone and crushing you flat. Yes, I used to think that it could happen. I can't believe someone else did too :D. One I can wholeheartedly agree with is the whole dying before New Moon/ Eclipse/ Breaking Dawn comes out thing ;) Well, dying/ being gravely injured is a scary thing and that's probably my answer. Or the same thing happening to a friend or family member…

What's the worst date/ trip/ event you've ever been on/ to and why?