The Sound of Thunder
Kendall's face betrayed his annoyance. He walked to the office door and opened it abruptly, letting James know that he had interrupted something important.
"Logan, it's almost time for your flight and I have some things I want to say to you. May I please speak with you now?" James' eyes were pleading yet questioning. He wanted to know what Kendall had said to him.
"Look, James, we're kind of in the middle of something right now, so if you don't mind – "
Logan walked to Kendall and placed his hand on his ex's arm. Kendall stopped talking which was the effect Logan was looking for. "That's okay, Kendall. I'd like to say good bye to James alone."
"But, Logie, we were in the middle of – "
" - of something that can wait a little while. It's okay, Kendall. We'll have time to talk again later. I promise." Logan smiled at his ex, a sweetly haunting smile that was burned into Kendall's mind and soul. He felt an unexplained chill run up and down his spine but mentally shook it off for Logan's sake.
Kendall now looked at James as a rival. He didn't want to go up against one of his best friends, but… All's fair in love and war! He knew what that meant now. He was living it. He reluctantly left them alone, closing the door behind him. He walked down to the end of the upstairs hallway and looked out the window. The early morning sun that had bathed the world with its bright light was gone. He looked at the sky and noticed that the clouds had turned dark and thick, the wind moving them rapidly across the sky. He stood and stared, wondering what was taking place in the room he'd just left.
"Alone at last," Logan said, trying to lighten the mood. He could tell that James was concerned about the conversation that he'd just interrupted. He moved to him and took James' hand as he led him to the sofa against the wall. They sat, waiting for each other to break the uncomfortable silence that permeated the room.
"James, I had a really great time with you. I hate the fact that my visit to Cali was only an overnight thing. I'd love to see you more often."
"Logan," James said. He acted like he hadn't heard Logan speak. "What did Kendall want? You can tell me."
Logan looked uncomfortably at his pal. He didn't want to lie to him but he didn't want to hurt him either. He knew he'd have to walk a fine line. He wasn't ready to deal with what Kendall had told him much less tell anyone about the details of their conversation. He was at a loss for words.
"James, I – I mean, I just have to – to think about some things, is all. Nothing earth shattering took place, really."
James eyed Logan with skepticism. "Well then, do you mind if I tell you what I think Kendall said?"
Logan shook his head and swallowed hard, unsure where the nervousness and dread were coming from. Whatever happened, he didn't want to lose James. He didn't want to be the one that broke his heart or the one who ruined their wonderful friendship. He'd been on the flip side of that coin and he didn't want to inflict that kind of pain on anyone.
James took Logan's silence as a queue to continue. "I think K wants you back, Logan. Ever since he saw you at the party, he's been acting possessive towards you, making every effort to be close to you, any excuse to be near you. I have a feeling that he asked you to forgive him and that you guys deserve another chance together. Am I close to the mark, Logie?" James looked into Logan's eyes, trying to find a clue from his gaze.
"James, I – "
"No. Please let me finish. I've waited for so long to say this to you. I know you loved Kendall. I get that, but time marches on. We live our lives and move forward to the next chapter. Logan, I want to be your next chapter and I want you to be mine."
James, why did you wait so long? I don't know what to think! Kendall wants another chance and you want to make a new future. What am I supposed to do? How the hell am I supposed to choose?
Seeing Logan's conflict splashed all over his face, James reached out and took Logan's hand in his, squeezing it gently as if to reassure his buddy. He knew that this was going to be hard on him but he needed to know if there was a chance – a real chance – that they could be together.
"Logie, I know that this is a lot to take in. I know I'm hitting you with a lot not to mention that Kendall must have, too. But, I need to know, from your own lips, that we have a chance. I need to know that you're taking what I'm saying to you seriously. If not, just tell me that you're not interested in pursuing anything with me and I'll be out of your hair."
"James! I don't ever want to lose you." Logan's moist eyes betrayed the hurt that he felt knowing that his friend could so easily walk away from him. "We've shared so much growing up like we did. We've traveled the world together and seen such great and wonderful sights. The memories I have of you are forever with me – and always will be. I don't want you out of my hair, Buddy. I always want you in my hair!"
James grinned slightly and reached out to stroke Logan's hair. It was as soft and silky as he remembered. After all, he'd helped all the boys with their hair issues when they were in Big Time Rush, before all their success.
"And I want to be in your hair," he grinned. He continued, his face turning serious once again. "I just need a sign. Give me something to hope for. I just need to know that you're taking me seriously. I need to know that you'll take the possibility of our being together seriously."
Logan's heart was touched by the earnestness of James' words. He could see and hear that the sentiment behind them was very real to him. The fact that he'd resurrected emotions and feelings from his past and had told Logan the truth behind them gave Logan pause. As if in fast-speed, thoughts of James and himself ran through Logan's mind. Several imagined possible futures quickly flitted through his mind's eye making Logan realize that he'd have to take him seriously now that he actually had contemplated, no matter how briefly, a future with his best friend.
"I've missed you so much since I left for New York. I'm just still amazed that as many times as we've seen each other since I left, you never brought this up! But, I guess that doesn't matter because you're telling me now. And I hear you, James. Of course I take this seriously. You are one of the most important people in my life. What matters to you, matters to me. You matter to me. You always have and, I'm betting, you always will!"
Speaking slowly, James asked, "Then you'll really, really think about us being more than friends?" He was trying not to seem overly enthusiastic, but on the inside, his heart began to swell with hope.
"Yes, James. I will seriously and thoughtfully think about what you've said to me today. Of that, I promise you."
James smile lit up the room as he stood and pulled Logan to his feet with him. He put his arms around his shorter friend and enveloped him in his famous bear hug. After he relaxed his grip, he saw Logan looking up at him, the smile on his face giving James' heart a jolt. He leaned over and gave Logan a kiss on the forehead, feeling Logan's smile as he did so.
They stood together in each other's arms, Logan's head resting on James' chest, as they slowly started to gently sway to a silent, slow, romantic melody emanating from their hearts.
In an instant, the spell was broken by Jo's voice on the other side of the door. "Logan?" She knocked quietly and opened the door to her office. Though she wasn't shocked by what she saw, she was taken a little by surprise as she saw the boys holding each other, not making a move to hide the arms that were still around each other.
They both smiled at her and lazily withdrew from their intimate embrace. "I'm sorry, Jo. I guess I've monopolized the guest of honor long enough! We'll be right down."
"Yeah, I know. Logan's limo driver just called from downstairs. He wants to know if you're ready to go. Since it's raining, you'll need a little more time because of the slow traffic."
Logan's eyes snapped wide open as he looked at his watch. "Oh, doodies!" he exclaimed. "I completely lost track of the time!"
Simultaneously, both of Logan's friends looked at him incredulously and asked, "Doodies?" They chuckled at their friend as a slight blush colored Logan's cheeks.
"Oh, hush up!" he told them before laughing at himself as well. He moved to Jo and wrapped his arm around her and the other around James. If nothing else, he'd remember this moment with two of the most important people he'd ever known.
Logan allowed Jo to take him by the hand as she led him downstairs, James following close behind. She leaned in to whisper in his ear. "Logie, Kendall wants to say good bye to you, too. Remember him?" She squeezed his hand for emphasis. A peal of thunder caught him by surprise and it made him squeeze Jo's hand harder.
Halfway down the stairs, Logan caught sight of a waiting Kendall as he tried to hide the fact that he'd been intently looking at the stairs, patiently waiting for Logan to descend. They saw each other and Kendall's eyebrow rose as he beheld his former husband, a smile creeping from the corners of his dark stained lips.
Logan began to smile at him but then realized that this was going to be another goodbye that he wasn't sure he could handle. He needed time to think away from his friends. Suddenly, New York didn't seem like a big, lonely place, but rather his place of solitude and contemplation. And, Dr. Mitchell-Knight knew, he had a lot to think about.