Author's note: Woohoo, look who finally got around to posting another update. This one is just Jane and Maura spending a day with the kids. Next update they will be back to trying to catch the killer. Enjoy this chapter.
Just in case you've forgotten, I don't own Rizzoli or Isles and I make no money off this story.
"Good, everything goes into effect tomorrow. We needed a day to get all our ducks in a row and since today is Sunday it wont look suspicious if your names don't appear in the DCF database until tomorrow. That being the case, I think the five of us need to take a day to just…breathe and adjust to our new circumstances. A lot happened yesterday and you guys haven't had a chance to really process it."
"That's an excellent idea sweetheart," Maura agreed. "Why don't we go downstairs and get some breakfast. It's supposed to be a beautiful day, maybe we could take a walk in the park and later we can see about getting you three settled in here a bit more permanently . We can make a list of whatever you might need and go shopping."
Jane couldn't hide her grin, making lists and shopping, two of her wife's favorite things. She leaned over and gave Maura a quick kiss, "Sounds like a plan." Turning to Bernie and Bobby she asked, "What would you guys like for breakfast, eggs, pancakes, waffles? You name it and we will make it happen."
They all trundled downstairs to the kitchen. Bobby had asked for pancakes and Bernie, not really caring one way or another, had agreed. Jane made her mother's famous bunny pancakes, making her wife promise not to tell her mother. "After all the crap I gave her the last time she made them for me I'll never hear the end of it if she finds out I made them for our kids."
Maura promised, too surprised and pleased by the fact that Jane had referred to the children as "our kids", to argue or even tease her wife.
Bobby was so enamored of his bunny pancakes that Bernie asked if Jane could show her how to do it. She didn't say she wanted to know so she could make them for Bobby after they left Jane and Maura's care. Bernie was old enough to understand what temporary foster care meant. She liked Jane and Maura and appreciated the fact that they hadn't treated her like a little girl who was too young to understand what was going on but she knew there were no guarantees concerning their future.
Unaware of the youngster's concerns, Jane was happy to show her how to make bunny pancakes as well as a few others her mother had taught her. Maura and Bobby proved to be appreciative test subjects for the girl's initial attempts.
When they had finished breakfast and cleaned up the mess in the kitchen, they all headed upstairs to change out of their pajamas. Maura took Bryleigh into the master bathroom to clean her up and change her into one of the new outfits they had purchased at Walmart the day before.
Jane offered to help Bobby get changed but Bernie said she could handle it so instead Jane quickly got changed then set about putting together a picnic lunch for their trip to the park. It wasn't anything fancy just some chips, sandwiches, water and juice to drink, and some left over brownies Angela had made for their dinner the day before. The one that got interrupted by the call to the crime scene. Was that just yesterday? A lot has happened in a short time, Jane thought.
She packed all of the food into a large cooler. When she was done with that she grabbed a frisbee and a whiffle ball and bat she'd had since she was a kid. She packed everything into the back of her cruiser, once again thinking they were going to need a bigger car. An SUV she thought, I refuse to drive a minivan.
By the time she finished packing the car, Bernie and Bobby were waiting in the kitchen and Maura and Bryleigh were just coming downstairs.
"Is everyone ready?" she asked.
"Not yet, we have to make a list of things the children are going to need before we go shopping," Maura explained in a tone that said Jane really should know better.
"Of course sweetheart. I meant is everyone ready to make their list." Jane responded as if she hadn't completely forgotten that they were going shopping before they went to the park.
Maura narrowed her eyes at her spouse suspiciously but let it drop. She grabbed her iPad and they all went into the living room. With Bernie's help they soon had a fairly comprehensive list of things they would need assuming they wouldn't be allowed back in their home for a few days. It included school supplies and clothes for her, play clothes for Bobby and Bryleigh, and some toys, games, and activities she knew her siblings liked. With the exception of a few Tonga Trucks and GI Joe toys for when TJ visited Jane and Maura's house was woefully lacking in those kinds of things.
They all piled in the car with Bernie once again wedged between her siblings' car seats in the back. This time Maura insisted on shopping at a high end boutique that had a high end line of children's clothes. Maura's eyes lit up at the shelves and racks of high quality children's clothing and Jane feared they might not make it to the park. If Maura followed her normal routine of looking at every option and carefully assessing fit, fabric, quality, color, etc. for all three children they would be here all day and they still had to shop for school supplies, toys and such.
She needn't have worried. To Jane's amusement, all three children were as fidgety as she was when it came to clothes shopping. Maura was eventually forced to shorten her normal routine. She knew all the clothes in this shop were of excellent quality so she let Bernie pick what suited her and grabbed a few outfits for the two younger children.
As they were heading out the door she caught the smirk on Jane's face. "I don't know what you find so amusing," she said archly to Jane. "We've just proven what I always said. You are as fidgety as a toddler when we go clothes shopping!"
Jane's expression turned miffed but her snarky reply was cut off by a snort from Bernie. Smiling fondly at the tween Jane said, "Don't pretend you weren't just as eager to be done as the rest of us."
"Oh, I was," Bernie admitted. "You guys just sounded exactly like my parents." As soon as the words were out of her mouth her face fell and tears welled in her eyes. "Oh my God, I forgot. It's only been a day and just for a moment I forgot. I'm a terrible daughter!" She bawled.
Maura, handed the bags she was carrying to Jane and gathered the stricken child in her arms. "No sweetheart, no. That's perfectly normal. It's how we function after a terrible tragedy like you've just experienced. The brain compartmentalizes the grief so you can go about your daily business but then something reminds you and all of the sudden you are overwhelmed."
She had been holding Bernie close and rubbing her back but she gently pushed her back and held her at arms length. Looking her in the eye Maura said, "You mustn't feel badly for those times when your parents aren't at the forefront of your thoughts. You also shouldn't fight it when the memories return and your grief overwhelms you. Allow yourself to feel it and to cry, or scream, or do whatever you need to push through it."
Bernie nodded at her and started crying again. Maura pulled her back into her arms and said quietly "I know it's hard to believe now but eventually you will be able to think of your parents with out being overwhelmed by sadness."
While Maura was comforting Bernie, Jane had taken the younger children and their purchase and loaded them in the car. As she was buckling Bobby into his booster seat he asked, "is Bewnie okay?".
Jane considered how to answer the toddler and decided the truth was the way to go. "Yeah bud, she just misses your parents."
"Me too," the boy responded getting teary-eyed. "I wish they didn't had to go ta heaven wif Hoppity."
Tears welled in Jane's eyes as well and she ran her fingers through the boy's hair and kissed his forehead. "Me too baby, me too."
Maura and Bernie approached just as she was closing the trunk of her cruiser. She knew there was nothing more she could say to comfort the grieving girl so she simply gave her a quick but tight hug and kissed the top of her head. Then all three of them got into the car and they headed back to Walmart to pick up the other items on their list. Maura had agreed, reluctantly, that the big block store would have everything they needed and that it would be of sufficient, if not the best, quality for their needs.
The trip to Walmart was much more enjoyable for everyone, except possibly Maura. Bobby looked in wonder at the aisles full of action figures, lego sets, balls, stuffed animals and so much more. "I can pick tree of them?" he asked not believing his good fortune. "Any ones I want?"
"Yup," Jane responded at the same time Maura said "As long as they are age appropriate." Jane smiled at her wife. Leave it to Maura to think of such considerations.
Surprisingly, considering the number of choices, Bobby had chosen his three new toys in less than 15 minutes. It took Maura longer than that to choose three toys for Bryleigh and some activity books for Bobby.
Bernie seemed almost as excited to pick out school supplies, taking her time looking at all the different options for binders, notebooks, pens and pencils and a backpack to put everything in. When she asked Jane if there was any way she could get her school issued tablet from their house, Maura insisted they go over to the electronics department and replace it with a top of the line model. "Seriously?" Bernie practically squealed when she saw the one Maura was looking at. Jane knew it was way more than what the youngster needed for her school work but this was one time she didn't intend to argue with Maura over cost. All three of the children deserved to have something good happen to them after the trauma they'd been through.
Before too long they were done with their shopping and on their way to the park.
When they arrived at the park Maura noticed they had a swing set with an infant seat so she took Bryleigh and Bobby over to play on it while Jane and Bernie set up their picnic. They laid out an old blanket next to a huge oak tree and put the cooler with the food on it, leaving the food inside for now but pulling out plates and napkins. "Why aren't we using paper plates and plastic cups and utensils?" Bernie asked with a puzzled expression.
"Because my wife is all about saving the environment," Jane responded smiling fondly over at the swing set where Maura was pushing Bryleigh on the swings and Bobby was slipping down the slide over and over laughing every time he got to the bottom.
"It doesn't seem right for him to be laughing just a day after our parents were murdered," Bernie commented looking more concerned than angry with her brother.
"He's so young," Jane responded. "I don't think he really understands what has happened. I think that's probably a good thing, don't you?"
"Yeah, I guess. It just seems wrong that he's not more upset. Like our parents didn't matter to him at all."
"First, he is upset. He told me so when you were talking to Maura earlier. Second, I think children that age, most of them anyway, are not wired to be sad all the time."
"I guess." Bernie's expression was still concerned and Jane wondered if, perhaps, Bobby wasn't the only one she was thinking about.
"Bernie, there's something I want you to know." Jane took the girl's hand in her own, holding it lightly and waited until she looked up. "It's good for you to grieve, you don't want to try to hold that in. Take it from someone who's always tried to keep negative feelings inside. When you do that, it will back up on you and eventually it will explode, usually at the worst possible time. So when that sadness comes let it, cry, throw things, heck curl up in a ball and hide under the covers if helps you feel better.
But understand that it's also normal and perfectly okay if sometimes something makes you smile or laugh. As time goes by, that's going to happen more and more often and I promise you, your Mom and Dad want that for you. I'm not saying you'll ever completely get over losing them but you'll learn to live with it and it won't always hurt as much as it does now.
And one more thing, you can always talk to Maura and I about how you're feeling and if you're not comfortable doing that or if you feel like you need more help, we can find a professional for you to talk to."
Silent tears flowed down Bernie's cheeks and she nodded once deliberately. "Okay, thanks Jane." She gave the detective a watery smile and quick hug. "I think I'm going to go see if Bobby wants me to push him on the swings."
"I think that's a great idea," Jane said, giving Bernie's hand a quick squeeze before releasing it.
Jane sat on their picnic blanket with her back against the oak tree and her legs stretched out in front of her, watching Maura push Bryleigh in the baby seat while Bernie pushed her little brother on the regular swing. The two younger children were laughing and Bobby kept screaming "Hiya Bewnie, hiya!".
Bernie wasn't laughing but she did look much more relaxed and occasionally she allowed an affectionate smile to cross her face at her brother's antics.
When Bobby convinced his big sister to join him on the slide, Maura pulled the baby out of the baby seat and walked over to where Jane was sitting. "May we join you?" she asked her wife.
"Always," Jane replied, making room for them between her legs.
Maura leaned back and sighed contentedly. Jane wrapped her arms around them both and Maura released her hold on Bryleigh and ran her hands lightly up and down Jane's thighs before letting them come to rest on her knees.
"What were you and Bernie talking about?" She asked her wife. "It looked like a pretty serious conversation.
Jane told Maura what Bernie had said and how she had responded.
"I think you handled that very well, sweetheart," Maura replied. "You're really good at this parenting thing."
"I hope you're right," Jane said. "After everything they've been through I just want to do right by these kids. They're really great kids. Their parents did a great job raising them under really difficult circumstances and I want to honor their sacrifice."
"We will." Maura said it with such confidence and conviction that Jane couldn't help but believe her. After all, her wife couldn't lie.
Bobby came running over to them with his big sister following behind him. "I'm stahvin," he said dramatically. "Can we eat now?"
"You got it bud," Jane replied releasing Maura and Bryleigh and reaching for the cooler with the food in it. Maura sat the baby on the blanket beside her and gave her a pacifier and a toy to play with. She'd been fed just before they left so Maura should have just enough time to eat her own lunch before she needed to feed Bryleigh her's. Next she handed out plates and napkins.
Jane pulled out a variety of drinks and sat them in the middle of the blanket letting everyone choose whatever they wanted. Then she opened a bag of potato chips and a bag of Cheetos and sat them on the center of the blanket as well so everyone could help themselves. In retrospect that turned out not to be the best idea since Bobby made a bit of a mess with the Cheetos getting orange cheese all over his hands, face, clothes and the blanket where he sat. Jane took a live and learn attitude about it.
"Okay, for sandwiches we have tuna on rye, turkey and Swiss on whole wheat, and of course no picnic would be complete without peanut butter and fluff on white bread," Jane presented them with all the options.
"What's fluff?" Bobby asked, his forehead wrinkling in the most adorable way.
"What's fluff?!" Jane repeated his question with exaggerated shock. "You don't know what fluff is?" she asked looking first at Bobby then at Bernie to see if she knew. Both children shook their heads. "Why fluff is only the single best thing to ever happen to peanut butter and white bread, that's what fluff is, way better than jelly."
Laughing at her wife Maura said, "Jane's exaggerating, but only a little bit. Peanut butter and fluff sandwiches really are quite good. Why don't you cut one into fourths so we can all give it a try then the children can decide if they want that or something else."
Jane did as Maura suggested and the children agreed the combination was very tasty. Bobby decided he wanted the PB&F, while Bernie asked if she could have half a PB&F and half of a tuna sandwich. Jane took the other halves of Bernie's sandwiches and Maura had one of the turkey sandwiches. The leftovers went back into the cooler for lunch the next day.
After lunch they sat for a while to let their food digest. Maura fed the baby while the other three lay on their backs and called out the different shapes they saw in the clouds. That only lasted about 15 minutes before Bobby got restless so Jane suggested the play with the frisbee for a while.
This time Maura stayed on the blanket with Bryleigh, who was enjoying a post-lunch nap. She sat lightly rubbing the baby belly and watching as Jane patiently showed Bobby and Bernie how to throw a frisbee. Bernie was a quick study but Bobby needed to be shown repeatedly and Jane spent as much time chasing down his wild throws as she did doing anything else. Maura was impressed with Jane's seemingly infinite patience with the boy.
To his credit, Bobby didn't get frustrated and give up like many children his age would have but kept with it until he could make the frisbee fly pretty straight if not very far.
After frisbee, Jane pushed Bobby on the swings for a while and Bernie asked if it was okay for her to take walk around the small pond in the park. Jane was a little reluctant considering everything that was going on but she understood that Bernie needed a little time to herself to process everything that had happened in the last 24 hours. The pond was very small and Jane could see the entire shore line from their picnic spot so she decided to let Bernie go. "Alright, just stay where we can see you okay?" She didn't mention why she wanted Bernie to stay in sight. The girl was smart enough to figure that out on her own.
Bernie nodded. "Okay", she said and headed off at a leisurely pace stopping occasionally to examine a leaf or pick up a rock and throw it into the pond.
When she returned about 20 minutes later. They decided to call it a day and began to pack everything up and head back to the car.
By the time they got home, all three children were fast asleep in the back seat.